My Pet Peeve

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

It really wasn't his day. Shikamaru had barely been up an hour and already he'd had to deal with his trashed house, still drunk from the night before father, and that odd couple from up the road who'd spent the night in their shed. All he wanted to do was to go back to bed but it seemed the world was conspiring against him.

"Can't you sort this yourself?"

"No! I don't want to be alone when I feel this-." Hidan broke off as he continued to retch into the toilet.

"It's your own fault for drinking so much." At least he didn't throw up all over the bed though.

"You're not fucking helping!" He couldn't remember exactly what he'd been drinking; just that there had been a lot of it and that it had made him feel like shit this morning. The retching continued whilst Shikamaru sat next to him on the floor, rubbing the silver haired boy's back and sighing.

"Are you finished yet?" The sooner the boy stopped, the sooner he got to sleep.

"You could show a bit of sympathy asshole!"

"It's hard to be sympathetic when it's your own damn fault."

"It's not my fault! You're the one who told me to 'drink until I felt sociable'! Your exact words! Take responsibility for the shit that you do."

"You're not a child; you're responsible for you own actions."

"...Just shut the fuck up." Hidan really wasn't in the mood to be lectured. At least he'd stopped vomiting now.

"Now are you done?"

"Yes!"

"So can I go back to bed now?"

"...Shika? Could you do me a little favour first?"

"Oh for- What?"

"I'm hungry..."

"...You've just been sick idiot."

"It's ok, it's all gone. Please Shika!"

"...Fine. Toast?"

"How about bacon?"

"...You owe me for this." At least it didn't take long for him to cook the damn food and he dumped the plate on Hidan's head and happily made his way to his bed. "I'm not getting out of bed until I feel like it and you are going to not say a word until then."

Half an hour was all it lasted. Oddly enough it wasn't either of the loudmouths that bothered him, but the nagging woman.

"Shika? Are you awake?" ...Godammit.

"Need something?"

"Do you mind going down to town for me? I need some food."

"...Why do I have to go?"

"Because I'm busy here!" ...Even though I've already cleaned half the damn house.

"Can't I have another hour?"

"You sleep your life away! Look how much of the day has already been!" Shikamaru had to hold back from shouting.

"But I only just-."

"Just do this one little thing for me and you can stay in bed all day, ok?"

"...Fine." Anything to shut her up. Hidan was half asleep on the floor and Shikamaru threw a shoe at his head. "If I have to go out, you're coming with me." Hidan did not reply and instead stared at him. "What? Why are you doing that?"

Hidan started gesturing and mouthing words which just infuriated the Nara further. Another shoe went flying across the room, this time hitting him square in the face.

"Ow! That shit hurt!"

"What were you doing then?"

"You told me not to say anything!" ...Little smartass.

"Just get dressed."

"I am dressed."

"In outdoor clothes, not boxers."

"Tch. You're such a killjoy." At least he did do as he was told and Shikamaru was glad at least someone would be forced to suffer with him. Especially as the shops at this time of morning would be full of people.

"Try not to offend anyone while we're out, ok?"

"I don't know what you mean." The innocent look on his face was infuriating.

"McDonalds. That is all."

"That was her fault! She was being a bitch!"

"You didn't help the situation and you swore at a child. Just avoid talking to people, ok?"

"Damn you're a hypocrite. Last night you wanted me to socialise, now you don't?! You confuse the shit out of me sometimes."

"..." Like you can talk.

He did seem to get the point though, even if he did give the majority of people passing them a dirty look. It was better than the usual though so he simply let him do it. It also meant that people stayed away from them which was how he liked it. He may not be as antisocial as Hidan but that didn't mean he was going to chat to everyone he walked past. Especially not in his current sleep deprived state.

"Wow, pretty obvious what that bitch was doing." Shikamaru had been daydreaming but Hidan's voice bought him back to earth.

"What?"

"Her." Hidan pointed towards a young girl, still dressed from the night before and wobbling slightly on her heels.

"What about her?"

"She definitely got some last night." This wouldn't have been a problem if he'd just said to him but as he practically shouted it at the girl it was hard to ignore.

"Shhh!" By now everybody was looking at them, including the girl who looked embarrassed and very annoyed.

"What? Just saying it like it is."

"You don't really need to say anything..."

"I'd rather say something than be a pussy like all these assholes." Yet again everyone heard and he had to drag him down the street before fights broke out. As expected the supermarket was full of people and Shikamaru let out an audible groan. Somehow he knew this wasn't going to end well.

It'll be my own fault though... I chose to bring him. As expected Hidan was not best pleased at the number of people. On the plus side the psychotic glaring was keeping everybody else away. I suppose he does have his uses.

-Page Break-

"Here. Present for you." Shikamaru dumped a plate of chocolate cake in front of Hidan who immediately lit up. It wasn't the nicest cafe in the world, but it did nice cake.

"Cake!"

"You didn't get any last night, did you? And I wanted to thank you for coming with me." Plus he did feel kind of bad for taking out his moods on Hidan because his family were annoying him.

"You're fucking awesome! I love you Shika!" Eh?

"Hidan?"

"Mmph?" He'd already started stuffing his face and he was covered in chocolate sauce.

"...Slow down, you'll be sick again. And what was that you just said?"

"What you mean?"

"...You said you loved me." Shikamaru blushed. He couldn't help it really; it was an awkward situation to say the least. Ever since Hidan had come around, he'd had to deal with a lot of awkward things.

"Yeah?" He didn't see what was so hard to understand here.

"Did you actually mean that?"

"Huh? Why would I say something I didn't mean? That'd be stupid." Although they were in a public place and the bored waitress was staring right at them, Shikamaru didn't care.

"But what if I said I wasn't interested!" He wasn't exactly indecisive but he could never be certain when it came to how he felt.

"I already know you like me no matter what you say, jackass." He's calling me a jackass?

"How? How can you possible know what I'm thinking?" Even I don't know!

"You wouldn't pretend I was your boyfriend or let me live with you if you didn't like me a little, and you sleep in the same bed with me and you put up with all my shit." Wow. That is a scarily good point. Hidan continued to eat like there wasn't anything odd going on.

"St-still..." And now I'm acting like a school girl. Wonderful. Unusually for him, he couldn't work out what to say. Obviously he'd been considering this when they'd decided on the cover story but never seriously.

Anyway it's Hidan! He's lazy and whiny and selfish and clingy and-. Hidan felt the gaze on him and glanced up. He'd finished eating the cake and his face was now covered in chocolate sauce. The boy gave him a wide grin and Shikamaru was torn between flushing and hitting the idiot.

"Wipe your face fool!" Old habits die hard.

"Why don't you lick it off?" It seemed he was getting a bit ahead of himself and he needed to be put back in his place.

"You want to sleep in the shed tonight?"

"No?"

"Then quit the back chat and wipe your stupid face!"

-Page Break-

No matter how hard he tried to ignore it, Shikamaru couldn't help but notice Hidan's continuous staring. Instead of saying anything he kept watching the TV and staring straight ahead in the hope that the boy would get bored of this little game. If anything it amused him even more.

Everyone already thought they were together and it was pretty obvious that the feeling was mutual. Plus he was bored out of his mind and he needed something to do.

"Shika~." He purred into the Nara's ear and the boy shuddered and pushed him away.

"Stop that!" He couldn't disguise the blush so it was obvious he was enjoying this game as much as he was.

"Why?"

"Because it's irritating!" And embarrassing! There were a few minutes of silence before...

"Hey Shika?"

"What?!"

"Can we go upstairs?"

"Why?"

"Because your parents don't want to watch this obviously. And you say I'm stupid."

"..." Please don't mean what I think you mean.

"So?" Hidan put his arms around him and pulled him close. "We doing this shit or not?"

"No!" Luckily he managed to hit him while it was unexpected and shoved the boy on the floor. "Are you insane?! I have a lot to think about right now! I don't need you complicating things!"

"But-."

"No buts! Just leave me alone for a minute, ok?!" Shikamaru stormed up the stairs and slammed the door leaving Hidan alone.

Stubborn asshole! He wouldn't touch him if the boy didn't want him to; he was just a bit frustrated. It had been too long and he did like Shikamaru. Damn him to hell! If he's gonna be a dick then I'm staying down here... But I don't want to sleep on the sofa... Fuck it; I'll just wait until he's asleep.

"Everything ok?" He hadn't expected Yoshino to suddenly appear and jumped once again.

"Gah! When'd you get there?"

"Just now. Where's Shika gone?"

"Upstairs."

"Did something happen?" ...So you were listening you nosy bitch.

"Everything's fine." He was speaking through gritted teeth. If he swore at her then Shikamaru might be more pissed at him.

"Don't worry if he's a little upset about something. Shikamaru has always been a little melodramatic but if you let him calm down he'll be fine again."

"Err... Thanks?"

"No problem." And she shuffled off again leaving Hidan wondering why she'd even appeared in the first place.

-Page Break-

"Oi Shika." Hidan forced the door open and stormed in, not caring what the boy was doing. Shikamaru had sadly been sleeping and sat up in bed when he walked in. It took him a few minutes to process that there was another person in the room.

"Hidan? Did you want something?" His voice was heavy from sleep and his eyes looked blurry. It was a strangely adorable look for such a plain looking boy.

"Err..." How pissed would he be if I said 'you'? "Are you still pissed off at me?"

"Pissed off?" Oh! "No! I just..." He blushed again. "I just needed some space for a minute."

"Can I come up here then? I'm bored."

"If you want..." As long as you don't try any of your weird games.

"Fuck yes! I love you Shika!" He ignored Shikamaru's spluttering and started rifling through his things again.

"Wait! Don't touch that box!"

"Eh?" All he'd done was pull an old box out from the cupboard. "Why~?"

"Because it's private!" There were few invitations better than that. Before the boy had time to stop him, Hidan had pulled off the lid... to a box full of magazines.

"...What the hell is this?"

"It's... Nothing!"

"...You dirty pervert! How long have you had this stash!"

"I don't use them! My dad gave them to me!"

"Then why'd you keep it all? Damn hypocrite."

"I used to throw them away but he kept putting them back so I just stashed them!"

"A likely story! You owe me for this!"

"Why?"

"They're all women! I'm more than enough for you."

"...I'm going back to sleep." Although he tried, he was soon slapped hard on the head. "What are you doing?!"

"You are gonna help me burn this crap, right now!"

"But-."

"Now!"

I meant to update this last week but I had to look after my 9 year old cousin most of the week so no time :L Thanks for reading and please review :3