Kurt's fingers hesitated over the dial button on his cell phone - an act strange in itself. There had never been a time (well excluding those first few weeks of uncertainty) when Kurt had ever hesitated to call Blaine. But, he couldn't do it, because, what exactly was he supposed to say? The usual "Hey you," seemed entirely too artificial right about now, and he wasn't exactly certain he could listen to the sound of Blaine's voice anyway without bursting into tears. He wasn't even certain if he had the right to cry over this...or did he? He didn't even know. He sighed, dropping the phone into his lap before running his hand agitatedly through his hair.
"Why did he even tell me?" he grumbled, staring at his phone again, "I mean...it isn't cheating...is it?" It was the question plaguing Kurt since Blaine's tearful phone call the night before. Kurt's mind told him that logically, it wasn't cheating...Blaine had exited the situation as soon as he had realised exactly how compromising the entire thing was. But his heart...in his heart Kurt felt betrayed, although honestly, he was still working out exactly why.
Kurt took in a deep breath, and gave himself exactly ten more seconds to wallow in his confusion (and just a smidgen of self pity) before he forcibly shook it off and exited the car, hoping that neither Jeff nor Trent would really notice - or else comment on - the lack of sling he was wearing today. It just wasn't something he could deal with. He had contemplated removing his promise ring as well, but...that...that he could not have brought himself to do. Not until he had figured out exactly what the hell was going on with his previously, uncomplicated relationship.
Forgoing the pathway to the main buildings for the grassy track that led to the tree that had morphed into their preferred spot for Council meetings, Kurt's lips curled despite himself as he caught sight of Trent's large frame already there leaning against the tree with Jeff a little distance away, staring at a spot on the ground. What was the little mad scientist trying to unearthen now? Kurt wondered fondly as he approached.
"I come with our fortune or our doom!" he intoned ominously when he got close enough.
"Kurtsie!" Jeff squealed, attention immediately diverting to him.
"Jeffie," he returned, before smiling at Trent, who, almost regretfully, set aside his latest novel.
"Hey Kurt," Trent greeted, patting the spot beside him, "got here okay?"
"Yeah, the drive's a breeze on a weekend," he commented, dropping down beside him. "Sorry you guys had to wait on me."
"It's no problem. We live in the dorms...we would have probably been roaming the grounds anyway."
"Finished all your homework already?" Kurt guessed shrewdly, even as he fished around in his bag for the envelope Mr. Kentwood had given to him the previous afternoon - an envelope they had agreed not to open until this very moment.
"It wasn't that much."
"We should have taken the languages path, Kurtsie," Jeff declared, finally dropping down in front of the two of them, crossing his legs beneath him, "they never seem to have that much to do."
"Can you really see yourself studying three languages as well as the history and culture surrounding them?" Trent asked.
"Hell no, English is hard enough."
"You are so not going to fail French under my watch," Kurt warned, before waving the envelope he had finally found.
Jeff groaned, raising a hand to shield his eyes as if the envelope burnt. "Did you have to bring that out."
"We should have checked yesterday," Kurt told him, "but you had rathered we cry in peace and solitude if need be."
"Yeah well, we have been on edge ever since the Show Choir board declared they were changes the borders for the various zones once again."
"Why couldn't they have been as straight forward as the Accapella Board? Hey states? Do whatever you want, just ensure we end up with one group by next May, okay?"
"We are going to have to compete against the Lady Bugs you know," Trent pointed out, "we shouldn't take this lightly."
"We'll squash them at the competition in January," Jeff dismissed with a wave, "This on the other hand," he said, grimacing as he gestured towards the envelope. "Do you know? Did you talk to Finn?"
"Mr. Shue does things a...bit differently. Even if he even bothered to collect his letter already, he won't tell The New Directions anything until the week before. They function best under pressure."
"I would get an aneurism in that group," Trent muttered.
"It was...fun," Kurt allowed, "once you got past all the insults, fighting, weirdly incestuous relationships and back-stabbing."
"Sounds like the recipe for a TV show."
"If only," Kurt laughed. "Now come on," he bid, handing Trent the envelope, "open it."
Trent obeyed, opening and taking out the letter within.
"Hang on," Jeff interrupted before he could start reading. "What are we hoping for again?"
"Not New Directions or Vocal Adrenaline," Kurt said, "for obvious reasons."
"New Directions schooled us well last time," Jeff admitted.
"And Vocal Adrenaline creamed them in the Finals," Trent added, "just like they're going to do to us in two weeks."
"You cheated!" Jeff protested, while Kurt simply groaned.
"We're against Vocal Adrenaline for Sectionals?"
"Alongside the Star Loving Gransters," he confirmed, "And does that group sound like..."
"Old ladies rapping? It does."
"We're dead," Trent said, shaking his head, "we don't stand a single chance against them."
"We'll just start prepping for the Christmas concert instead."
"Hey," Kurt said after a moment, "look it won't be easy, but...we shouldn't give up on this."
"We shouldn't?" Jeff said in disbelief, "the New Directions stand not a chance against them, and they usually come out ahead of us. We shouldn't even bother."
"He has a point Kurt," Trent agreed, "the team will be disappointed, but..."
"We are not giving up," Kurt declared, with a determination he found surprising even to himself. He knew first hand just how...difficult (or rather suicidal) it was to go up against the current champions of nine years, but, what was there truly to lose? Their pride? "Guys, we can do this."
"I think you took too many anxiety pills this morning."
"Shut up Jeff," he snapped, resisting the urge to pull and throw a handful of grass at him, "I only took one extra," he added, hoping that they would take it as a joke.
"Kurt, we can't beat them."
"It would be hard to," Kurt said nodding, "but you know why The New Directions is so hard to beat? Because they believe. Even when there is nothing left that can possibly go right for them, they believe in themselves, and win, lose or draw it pulls them through. It's a mentality I had lost for a while, until I found a reason to find it back." Kurt drifted off briefly as Blaine's smiling face shot across his mind before continuing, ignoring the pang that accompanied the image. "And I think it's something you guys can develop as well. Are Vocal Adrenaline better than us? Yes. Can we beat them. Yes, if we try. We've already put so much work into the team this year, and all these sore limbs from those dance classes will not be for nothing," he declared.
"You know you like those burgeoning muscles," Jeff quipped, waggling his eyebrows at Kurt.
"Don't ever say burgeoning again," Trent demanded, even as he snorted back a laugh. "You give one hell of a pep-talk Kurt," he told him, "but you're right I guess. We have put a lot of work into the team. Not just the dancing - which I would have you know helped me shed eight pounds so far - so maybe it's not all in vain."
"I suppose," Jeff stated with a shrug, "And we won't be the token novelty act this time. We actually figured out how we can blend music into our Accapella routine. Phillip's a genius in that way. He'll be a great Council member next year."
"He will," Kurt seconded. "We have evolved and Vocal Adrenaline doesn't know that. They'll be underestimating us by expecting the usual. We won't be that. We'll be us. Remember our promise. This is our Warbler team now, and we're shaping it how we feel best. They won't be expecting that - the judges won't be expecting that. If we pull together a routine and an actual storyline with our song selections, we can beat them. I know we can."
"Or we can go down fighting," Jeff said cheerfully, shoving a fist into the air, "either option is fine with me. Aim for the stars!"
"Because if you fail you'll still be among the clouds."
"With your friends to help you shake it off and move on," Kurt finished, "We can do this guys. I know we can."
"Let's talk about it."
"About what?" Kurt asked, looking up at the sky through the leaves of the tree.
It was nearly lunchtime now, and Trent had long since left them for a date with his Crawford girl friend. Jeff had persuaded Kurt to stay with him for a few more hours, not that Kurt had needed that much cajoling. But, as Kurt was quickly realising, it seemed that Jeff had an agenda.
"Something's wrong," Jeff said, cuddling closer into his side for a moment before propping his head on his hand so he could better look at him. Kurt turned, briefly making eye contact with him before looking away. It didn't happen often, but the times that Jeff chose to be serious were rather scary. He always got his way in those moments.
"Blaine went to a club last night," Kurt admitted softly.
"With Nick - I know. He made a big show of telling me so I wouldn't call him."
Kurt briefly sought Jeff's face at that, surprised by the sudden darkness that crept into his tone. Jeff though, on seeing his curious expression, quickly schooled his face back into neutrality. "Did...something happen?"
"I don't even know," Kurt grumbled, throwing his fully functioning arm back in frustration. "He ended up dancing with some guy who seems like a god on earth."
"He didn't-" Jeff said, with a gasp.
"I don't know," Kurt replied, and suddenly, unexpectedly, his voice choked as his confusion, given this small opening, released from within him in a torrent. "He didn't have sex with him. But...it got close. He said that he got aroused, and that he really enjoyed feeling the guy on him...and feeling him back."
"Shit," Jeff swore. "Kurt...I'm sorry."
"For what?" Kurt snapped, before letting out a dark laugh. "He didn't cheat...it's not like he had sex with the guy."
"You're hurt," Jeff said firmly, "which means that Blaine did something that is not okay with you. Which I suppose means that he did cheat."
"He said the same thing," Kurt responded, "he started off the conversation with 'I think I cheated Kurt'."
"He didn't even know?"
"Cooper thinks he didn't. Cooper didn't even want him to tell me. Cooper may have been right."
"He would have told you regardless. I've known Blaine a lot longer than you Kurt, and he just can't keep a secret. It kills me. You would have realised something was wrong the moment he stepped foot back in Ohio."
"Did he cheat?" Kurt asked, turning to his side so he could meet Jeff's eyes. "Did he cheat on me, Jeff?"
"I-I...there's no easy answer, but in a way, yeah he did. He broke your trust."
"We never spoke about this. It never even occurred to me that we should speak about this."
"Boundaries are important."
"Do we need boundaries?" Kurt asked, "Is it even fair to have boundaries?"
"Every relationship should have boundaries."
"He's a freshman in college. Should he have boundaries?"
"That I don't know," Jeff said, and once again there was that sudden darkness colouring his tone. "Who knows? Maybe he loves you. Maybe he doesn't. Maybe you're just a nuisance to him he can't find of polite way of getting rid of."
"Are we still talking about Blaine, Jeff?" Kurt asked, reaching over to touch his shoulder.
Jeff recoiled, blinking rapidly for a moment, "Err...yeah, of course Kurt. We're talking about Blaine, and, I assume, how your relationship is going to progress from this."
"I don't know how we will," Kurt told him softly, "but I do know one thing Jeff. I really don't think my life would ever be really complete without him. He's too important to me."
Jeff didn't answer for a long while. Instead, he reached out and grasping Kurt, rolled so that he was on his back with Kurt's head pillowed on his shoulder. Finally, and just when Kurt had believed that they were settling down for a nap, Jeff spoke softly, his gaze firmly upwards. "I wish we had found a way to keep them from graduating."
"Things would have been a lot easier then," Kurt agreed. "Love really is a complicated thing I guess," he added, although his tone now was more hesitant, testing a theory he had only now formulated.
"Yeah...love..." Jeff said slowly, "it is one hell of a thing."
It was Kurt's time to be silent now, as he snuggled closer into the closest friend he had in Dalton. It seemed as if he wasn't the only one suffering.