My Pet Peeve

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

"Should I ask why you have a braid or is it just one of those days?" Shikamaru looked up from his book at Ino who was smirking at him.

"What?"

"Didn't you notice?" He answered that with a blank stare. "You look like Lara Croft."

He groaned and walked over to the mirror. His usual high spiked ponytail had been replaced with a tomb raider braid. Ino was in fits of laughter whilst he just scowled and waited for her to stop.

"Where is he?" There was only one person who would do this.

"Bedroom." Shikamaru went to the kitchen first and grabbed an old spray bottle. He'd been saving it for a situation such as this. After filling it with water, he made his way up the stairs. If Hidan acted like he had the intelligence of a dog, he would be treated like one.

The boy was perched on the bed, openly flicking through one of Ino's porno magazines. When he noticed Shikamaru, Hidan grinned at his handiwork.

"Hey Nara Croft." The grin was quickly wiped off his face when the spray bottle was put into action. "What the hell?!"

"If you act like a dog, I'll treat you like one." He also took the porno. "And stop reading these in my room!"

"Oh come on! You can be such a bitch sometimes." Looking at the front cover, Shikamaru noticed that this one was even more extreme than the usual fare.

"Why are you reading and S&M magazine? Why does Ino have one actually?" Hidan shrugged. He was known for having strange interests so it shouldn't have surprised him but actually seeing him reading one made Shikamaru feel very awkward.

"You've still got the braid~." Shikamaru let his hair down and once again used the spray bottle. "Stop doing that!"

"You learn to stop playing with my hair, I'll stop spraying you."

"I'm not a fucking dog!"

"Looking at what you've been reading I'd say you definitely are."

"Hey! I was only reading it. I only ever jack off in the bathroom." This was something to be proud of it seemed.

"I'm thrilled…?" This did explain why he disappeared so often. And why he always took so long.

"If it makes you feel better I only ever think about you." This just bought about some strange images.

"You don't use these kinds of scenarios, do you?" He gestured to the cover of the magazine.

"No…" Hidan looked to the side, avoiding direct eye contact.

"Really? So you've never thought about trying anything like that?"

"Nope, never!" Yet again he was obviously lying. This did explain why he was always so blunt about things. He was a useless liar. "But even if I did… That wouldn't be a problem, right?"

"Err…" This was a question that Shikamaru wasn't sure he could answer.

"Shika?" Hidan was staring at him.

"I… I need a shower!" And then he ran. For some reason and despite previous experience, he foolishly thought that the boy would be discouraged by a locked door. Wishful thinking.

He was only in there for a few minutes before he was gripped by the shoulders from behind. He hadn't even heard the door open and close.

"Haven't you heard of privacy?!" Shikamaru ignored the temptation to turn around so that he could at least cover the front of his body.

"I wanted a shower too!" He sounded a little peeved.

"Most people consider a locked door a sign that someone wants to be left alone."

"Most people wouldn't run off in the middle of a conversation." It was a good comeback.

"I…" He's right. He always makes me feel like an asshole. "I need to think."

"Why?" If he wasn't trying to hide his dick he would've turned round and scowled.

"Because! You caught me off guard with that question."

"It's not that major a question is it?"

"Maybe a little! I don't know! I just wanted time."

"Well you could've just said instead of walking off like a prick."

"I get shy sometimes, everybody does. I wasn't thinking right." Hidan was one of those people who could force Shikamaru to say how he felt and in some ways it scared him.

"Just don't ignore me when I'm asking you important questions."

"Sorry… But you know I'm not that experienced with those kind of things." Although the irony that they were having a conversation about him being a prude whilst standing naked in a shower had not escaped him.

"…It's not a problem though, is it?" His voice was so quiet he could hardly hear it over the sound of running water.

"What?" There was only silence. "Hidan? Are you ok?" Hidan put his arms around Shikamaru and held him close, burying his face into the back of the smaller boy's head. His face was probably getting covered in water but he didn't seem that bothered. This reminded him of the time that they had first met. A loud and confident Hidan was very annoying but quiet Hidan was a sure sign that something was wrong. "Hidan?"

"It's ok, isn't it?"

"What is?" Having someone talking into the back of your neck was strange. It somehow made everything more intense.

"I… I'm not weird am I? There's nothing wrong with me right?" His voice was getting a little shaky at this point.

"No! You're not weird…" He wasn't sure what else to say here. The boy definitely had a weird personality but he knew that this wasn't what Hidan was worried about.

"But you think it's weird." He'd love to deny it but he'd made it too obvious when he'd ran away.

"I don't really know…" He should've known that Hidan would be interested in that kind of thing but knowing he'd been involved in fantasies that had been used for… that, made it feel more real. And thinking of having to do things like that scared him.

"You don't know." Hidan's voice sounded a little flat. "I-It won't change anything though, does it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're not gonna leave me are you? Or make me leave?" Oh. Oh! God, I'm such an idiot. Hidan had already been rejected by someone he really trusted once before so it would make sense that he would be terrified of rejection. Why didn't I think about that? I'm damn useless.

"The things you… fantasise about have nothing to do with anything else in our relationship. I don't really know what I think about that. I've never thought about it and I can't… I can't lie and say I'm not kind of freaked out by that stuff. But not by you! I like you and that doesn't matter. And I am definitely not gonna throw you out." Shikamaru felt the grip loosen slightly and heard the other boy's breathing slow down. He didn't reply so Shikamaru decided to test the waters.

"Could I finish my shower now?" He was thoroughly soaked by now.

"Sure…" Hidan went to leave. He'd stripped off to get into the shower and began pulling his clothes back on.

"Just one question before you leave." This was one thing he really had to know. Hidan stopped and stared. "How the hell did you braid my hair without me noticing?" This was gonna bother him for a long time if he didn't ask. Hidan grinned widely and tapped his nose before leaving the room, laughing loudly as he went.

"Hey! You're such an ass!" What did I expect? But I guess that means he's back to normal.

At least when he got back to his room there were no more porno magazines. Ino got annoyed with Hidan for stealing them but she really should not have made it obvious where she'd hidden them. It seemed strange that the women he knew had more pornos than the men. He didn't know where his errant boyfriend was.

I hope I handled that right… He seemed ok… It just seemed typical that out of all his friends, he had to have the most unstable and generally irritating partner. And that he had the kind of personality that made it difficult for him to deal with emotional people. Perhaps he wasn't as emotionaly constipated as Gaara or Sasuke but he was still one of the worst. He was hopeful that Hidan was actually feeling better and not doing something strange. He was thinking that when he heard the smoke alarm going off.

Uh oh. He wasn't sure what was going on down there but it was doubtful that it was good. When he got midway down the stairs he could smell smoke, in spite of the fact that the kitchen door was closed.

"What's going on in there?"

"Nothing…"

"You don't sound too sure."

"Well everything looks ok."

"I see smoke."

"Oh." When there was no further explanation Shikamaru made his way to the kitchen where he found Hidan with a frying pan in hand, attempting to beat the fire out of another frying pan. The flames were not only on whatever foodstuff that had once been but had spread via the tea towels to the curtains. Hidan saw him looking and shrugged. It was just lucky that they had a fire extinguisher. He started covering everything in powder.

"Take the pan outside and deal with it."

"Eh?"

"Just hurry up!" Do I have to do everything?! Hidan sighed and reluctantly did as asked.

The unit was burnt, the curtains were half gone and there were ashes where the tea towels once were. Considering how long Hidan had been left alone, the amount of damage bought about was pretty impressive. He was sat in the garden by the smoking debris in the pan looking slightly annoyed.

"What was that supposed to be?" Whatever that once was, it was now a lump of charcoal.

"Omelette." Hidan sighed.

"Oh…" He could see his boyfriend was looking dejected so he couldn't exactly yell at him about it. "Err…" The older boy looked at him. "I never liked those curtains anyway."

"…That's it?"

"What?"

"Usually you give me some kind of lecture if I do shit like this."

"Well you were trying so… I mean it wasn't like you did it on purpose." Great. I've become Hinata.

"I guess." He still looked slightly jaded.

"So why were you making an omelette?"

"I was hungry, why'd you think?" He gave him a strange look.

"Yeah stupid question… How'd you set fire to it though?"

"No clue. One minute it was fine and the next there was a fucking fireball." Shikamaru couldn't help it. He could imagine Hidan's face as the fireball appeared and started laughing. "What?"

"I could just imagine your face as the fireball went up." The other boy thought for a minute.

"No I'd say the fact that I was trying to beat it out with another frying pan was pretty funny." He laughed then. "Damn I'm such a moron."

"Maybe so but I like you that way." Shikamaru stopped laughing when he realised what he said. "Err…"

"Is that so?" Hidan was smiling. It wasn't his usual cocky grin but more like a genuinely happy smile. "And I like you when you're bitching about stupid things."

"Well thanks." That was definitely not the usual kind of romantic but it seemed to work.

"Now I don't know about you but I want beer." He stood and stretched. "You in?"

"I don't know. I suppose I could-."

"What is that burning smell? What's going on down there?!" Ino could be heard shouting from her room. They exchanged glances.

"I think beer sounds pretty good right now." He was not going to deal with angry Ino sober.

"Knew you'd see it my way."