"Hello, is this Hans?" Ferb inquired.
"Yes," Hans replied.
"I am Buford's friend, Ferb. Nice to meet you," Ferb greeted.
"Nice to meet you too," Hans greeted. "What do you need?"
"I want to have what Monty has. I want to replace the snake," Ferb explained.
"Excellent! Monty has been at the top for too long," Hans stated. "Here, let me hook you up with Froyo."
"Froyo? That's his name?" Ferb inquired.
"Whatever you do, don't call him anything else, except homey," Hans advised. "Here, his phone number is:- do you have a pen and paper?"
"Mhm," Ferb confirmed.
"Oh, it is: (***) - *** - ****," Hans informed. "Talk to me if he gives you any grief."
"Will do," Ferb accepted.
"Goodbye, and good luck!" Hans finished.
"Bye," Ferb responded. Hans hung up. Ferb punched in the number.
"Hello, Froyo on da' phone," Froyo greeted.
"Hey, Froyo! I'm Hans' homey, Ferb," Ferb uttered flawlessly in a southern accent.
"Hey, homey! What you callin' for?" Froyo inquired.
"Act'ly I's wonderin' if I cou' git Monty Mon'gram canned, and have your homey, that's me, Ferb, to replace that old hag," Ferb proposed.
"Oh! You called the Cheese a hag! Dat's bold, man! Let's get on dat right now!" Froyo exclaimed in compliment. "Let me hook ya' up wit my gal, Dana, she's hot. Here, da' phone numba' is, you got ya' tab and chalk, righ'?"
"Yuhp," Ferb responded.
"Da' numba' is (***) - *** - ****, but don't call'er 'less it's between leven turdy and twelb turdy," Froyo advised. "Dat means, ya' gotta call her tomorra' er sometime after dat."
"K, thanks, Froyo," Ferb thanked.
"No probs," Froyo responded. "Bye, homey!"
Then Froyo hung up.
Ferb sighed. He was two small steps closer to his goal.
· · ·
Ferb woke up to a new day. The day before was the day Isabella said that "finding out" sentence. That was also the day of Ferb's call frenzy's beginning. He just had to wait until noon. He bumped into Candace in the hallway. She screamed in her startled state and dropped Ducky Momo. Ferb took the plush duck and ran to pierce it so Candace would be ridded of Ducky Momo forever.
"Ferb! Give me that back right now, or you are gonna pay, mister!" Candace bellowed. Ferb ran into the living room. There it was, the lance that hung above the television screen. Ferb sped toward it, holding up Ducky Mono like a sacrifice. "No! Ducky Momo!" Candace screamed. She tackled him down on the carpet, pinched his arm in just the right place, grabbed Ducky Momo, and started beating him over the head with it. Ferb laughed like Darth Sidious. Candace realized how futile her jabs were, so she fled with Ducky Mono in her arms.
"I will burn that thing!" Ferb threatened.
"You wouldn't dare," Candace countered.
"I would!" Ferb attacked. She had gone up into her room and was out of earshot now. Ferb went outside to clear his head. He bumped into Phineas on accident. "Hey! Watch it!" Ferb bellowed extremely loudly. Phineas cowered in the face of Ferb. He was still waiting for Isabella to come over. "Look, kid. You have to be presentable! That means you don't cower in the corner, you either quip, threaten, or ignore. If they get fed up and want to brawl, you got to give it to them! I can't have a wimpy brother ruin my reputation. So try me! Come on! Punch me as hard as you can! You better! You want me to rough you up? Huh? Come at me with all you have! Don't make me do it to you! You want it! You want it! Come and get it!" Ferb bellowed.
"I don't want to punch you," Phineas responded.
"Come on! You have to learn somewhere! Quit being a stupid baby, and punch me!" Ferb yelled.
"Ferb, I could never punch you," Phineas denied.
"Maybe you just need a little motivation," Ferb quipped. He punched Phineas hard in the gut. "I didn't want to have to do that, but I really did," Ferb remarked. "Come on! Get up, or I'll step on your gut!" Phineas got up reluctantly but hastily. "Punch me! Just do it! Punch me, or I'll-" Ferb started. Phineas gave Ferb the wimpiest punch ever recorded. Ferb doubled over in laughter. Then Ferb grabbed Phineas' arms, and pulled the poor boy into a choke hold. But he did not choke him, and wouldn't think of it. He had no intention of suffocating his brother. "What are you going to do now, huh? I could kill you right now if I wanted to, so what are you going to do?" Ferb asked. Phineas struggled and wiggled before analyzing Ferb's posture. He was leaning back. So Phineas leaned back on top of Ferb, causing him to crash down onto the grass. "Ow! Very good. I'll quit picking on you for now," Ferb informed. Phineas was pooped. He thought about his time with Ferb and how it might be good to compare it to his situation with Isabella.
"She wants to be my fighting partner! Of course!" he thought. Isabella walked through the gate. "Isabella! I know why you want to be part of my destiny! You want to be my fighting partner!" Phineas exclaimed, thinking he had gotten it right. Isabella doubled over laughing.
"Hopefully not!" she answered. "That couldn't be farther from the answer," she informed.
"Oh," Phineas responded. "You want to watch the clouds?" Phineas asked.
"Not now! I actually just wanted to say hi; I have a dentist appointment," Isabella explained.
"Oh," Phineas responded.
"Bye!" Isabella finished.
"Bye," Phineas muttered.
· · ·
Ferb called Dana.
"Hello, this is Dana," Dana informed.
"Hi, this is Ferb, Froyo's bud," Ferb explained.
"Ah, you must mean business, then, if you dealt with that nut," Dana retorted.
"Indeed. I want to fill the position of Monty Monogram," Ferb responded. He knew how to take cues from who he talked to.
"Really! I can't stand that kid! I could almost smirk right now! But we wouldn't want that, would we?" Dana tested.
"I do want to remove Monty Monogram from his position as the most popular kid," Ferb ignored.
"Wow, smart, quippy, and personable- Hmm, you just might be able to fill Monty's shoes," Dana admitted.
"So can you hook me up?" Ferb inquired. Dana liked something about Ferb's wording.
"Sure," Dana agreed. "What are you doing Friday?"
"X and y, why?" Ferb quipped.
"Good answer. So, let me give you Danny's number. You have to greet him with a password. From there, he will hook you up directly to those who can replace Monty with you. But I can't tell you over the phone; my superiors would kill me. That is, his phone number and the password. They have to be delivered separately. We'll send a couple agents to a couple meeting places. Tell me, do you have any unique facial feature or equivalent?" Dana wondered.
"Green hair," Ferb answered.
"K, so Googleplex Mall at 4 and the Slushy Dawg at Chestnut St. at 5?" Dana proposed.
"Today?" Ferb inquired.
"Mhm," Dana confirmed.
"Sounds great," Ferb responded.
"That's it, then?" Dana wondered.
"Mhm," Ferb answered. Dana hung up. Ferb took a slow, steady breath.
· · ·
Phineas sighed. He had talked with his sister, and she gave him nothing. He still had no idea why Isabella cared about his destiny. Of course, Candace hadn't realized that Phineas had a time limit.
"Hi, Phineas, what you doing?" Isabella greeted.
"Making skateboards that hover," Phineas answered. As often happened, he got inspiration from what Candace said she despised. That is why the Phineas idea was abnormally classy.
"Making? I thought you stopped making things," Isabella stated.
"Candace inspired me, and I couldn't just let the idea consume me," Phineas explained.
"Are they done?" Isabella asked.
"One of them is," Phineas answered. "You want to build yours, like old times?"
"Sure," an entranced Isabella answered.
"Let's get started, then," Phineas suggested.
"Of course," a tipsy Isabella agreed. Once again, Phineas was completely oblivious to her state of mind.
"What color do you want it?" Phineas asked.
"White, what other color?" Isabella plotted hysterically.
"Okay," a confused Phineas answered. He thought she was going to pick pink. But Isabella never would have wanted a pink wedding dress, right? Phineas, of course, was nowhere close to making this connection.
"And I want a train that is at least 200 feet long!" she muttered. Phineas tilted his head and looked at her curiously. "And I want Pachelbel's Canon in D, not C!"
"Isabella, are you okay?" Phineas asked.
She awoke from her trance with a start. With a florid face, she fled.
Phineas didn't know where he had went wrong.
His cup was confusion, frustration, and fear, chiefly the third.
· · ·
The Googleplex Mall was almost completely empty. Then the agent spotted Ferb. "Hello, Ferb. Who did you talk to on the phone at noon?" the agent tested.
"Dana," Ferb responded.
"And her last name?" the agent continued.
"I don't know her surname; she never mentioned it," Ferb explained.
"Good; no one does," the agent responded. "Here's the D's phone number, but call him Danny if you want him to respect you. Also, you need the password," the agent informed. Then the agent left.
· · ·
Ferb arrived at the Slushy Dawg. The agent saw him at the same time as he saw the agent. "Hello, Ferb. Who did you talk to an hour ago?" the agent tested.
"You," Ferb answered. This confused the agent. "Or one of your colleagues."
"Ah, yes," the agent responded. That was the answer he was looking for. The agent handed Ferb a slip of paper and fled.
I think I'll end this chapter short. Ferb doesn't know what he is getting himself into. Don't worry, things are about to get a lot worse, although it is gradual. Review whether you think Dana, Froyo, or Hans should play a bigger part. As of now, they are probably not going to be more than mentioned in future chapters. :-þ And, that's a wrap; a juicy chicken wrap. Mmm...