My Pet Peeve

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

"What were you guys doing?" Ino was looking at him suggestively and grinning.

"We wanted some space."

"I wonder what for…"

"We were at my parent's house so get your mind out of the gutter." Although knowing her he doubted this was a reasonable expectation.

"Hey Shika~, how about a repeat of last week?" Hidan had clearly been listening for a while and he was enjoying this turn of events.

"At least one of you can be honest."

"And it's definitely not him." Shikamaru rolled his eyes and walked off. Hidan was never far behind him as usual.

"Don't leave me there."

"I'm pretty sure you can handle her." It was a little annoying that Hidan just wouldn't leave him alone for very long. It hadn't been that bad at home where they were far enough away but back here he'd gotten worse. It wasn't unexpected but he didn't realise he would find it so irritating.

"So… Why don't we go and do what Bitchface was suggesting?" He put his arms around the smaller boy's shoulders and bit him on the ear.

"What are you doing? Oh my god!"

"It was supposed to be sexual you fucker!"

"It was weird. And you're not supposed to bite that hard either."

"You do it better then." As this would be walking into his trap, he was definitely going to avoid doing this. "Hey! Don't ignore me!"

"Don't make stupid suggestions then."

"Why don't you ever do anything for me?"

"…" It took him a moment to recover from the sheer audacity of this. "I'm always doing things for you."

"Not what I want…" This was mostly mumbled but still clear enough to understand.

"Can we talk about this later?" This wasn't a topic of conversation he was comfortable with.

"As per fucking usual." Instead of getting into one of those arguments he put his shoes on. This was usually a good way of distracting Hidan. "What are you doing?"

"…Going out?"

"Oh." He expected Hidan to stay indoors but instead the boy even followed him out the door.

"You're ok with this?"

"I'm bored!" He was pouting and so Shikamaru let him be.

It wasn't exactly a nice day and he did regret leaving the house but arguments had been increasing and Ino had been heckling him so often he was getting close to locking her into the cupboard for the rest of the term.

Before they got to the main road Hidan grabbed him. He'd been expecting something like this but instead of attempting to force him back to the house, he was dragged down a side road.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere." That was helpful.

"This is kind of random."

"Well fuck you."

Shikamaru had never been in this area before and so was kind of annoyed. Hidan wasn't saying anything about what this involved and so he just decided to go along with it. This was fine until after about twenty minutes when Hidan suddenly grabbed him and dragged him into a hedge. It was filled with brambles and clearly in someone's front garden.

"Is there any explanation for this?"

"Shh!"

"Is there any need for that?" Hidan slapped him and pulled him back so he couldn't be seen from the street. There was silence for a while and Shikamaru was getting more annoyed. His trousers were getting damp from sitting on the floor and he had twigs poking him in the head.

"How long are we going to stay here?"

"Just a little-." He stopped when the door of the house opposite opened.

"Isn't that…?"

"Yeah…" The woman known as Yugito had emerged and seemed to be heading towards the shops. She walked straight past them and they both held their breaths until she had gone past.

"…So that's his house?"

"Yeah." It looked like a pretty normal house so knowing the kind of things that had happened there made it seem sinister.

"It's been a while since you've been here, yeah?"

"Not long enough."

"So why are we here?" Considering his recent behaviour this seemed like the last place he should be right now.

"He doesn't work Thursdays."

"Oh… So what are you going to do?" Hidan stood up, took a deep breath and walked towards the house. "What-?"

"Just wait there!" His voice was shaking a little. To Shikamaru this was probably a bad idea but he couldn't exactly stop him. He could still see a little trembling when he got to the front door.

Even Shikamaru felt worried when he saw Kakuzu open the door. The man didn't look too surprised at seeing Hidan there but instead seemed annoyed. He looked down at Hidan as if he was a piece of dirt on the floor. Although they were speaking pretty quietly he could just make out what they were saying.

"What are you doing here?"

"I…" Hidan was struggling and tugging on his shirt. It was the complete opposite of what he was like usually.

"Well? I thought I told you that I don't want you anywhere near me again." He added something else that Shikamaru couldn't quite make out but it definitely had an effect on Hidan.

"I… I wanted to do something…"

"You're such a fucking idiot. I'm guessing you're going to beg again? Don't bother, it's pathetic." He even sounded amused at this idea. Hidan took a deep breath, looked straight in his eyes and in pretty impressive speed, slammed a clenched fist into the older man's face. The loud crunch of his nose could be hard clearly from across the road.

"You little-!" Blood was pouring down his face and the man went to grab Hidan but the boy managed to punch him in the sternum first. Then came the rant.

"Fuck you, you cheating piece of shit! You suck in bed and you look like the old man you are! Go die!" The venom in his voice was impressive and even better than when he'd gotten Kiba.

"You- How dare you!" Kakuzu was a little out of breath but he managed to say something else. Apparently this was more offensive as Hidan grabbed him by the shirt.

"Oh yeah? Well-!" Shikamaru couldn't hear what he said but Kakuzu seemed to be slightly paler. Hidan did go to leave but paused. It seemed that he was still dissatisfied and so he turned around and kicked Kakuzu square in the balls.

"Good luck having more children asshole!" And he marched off down the road. Shikamaru waited until Kakuzu had hobbled back indoors before dashing round the corner to catch up. Hidan had stopped halfway down the next road.

"Hidan?" It seemed he was still in shock over what had just happened.

"…I just beat the shit out of him…" There was awe in his voice. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself that it had really happened and it wasn't just a dream.

"You did." It was impressive. Especially as he had obviously been terrified of this guy for most of his life. Hidan looked at him.

"I kicked his fucking ass!" Now he looked quite triumphant.

"Technically you kicked him in the balls."

"And now I'm gonna throw up!"

"What?!" Hidan leant over and he could hear retching. "…Oh."

-Page Break-

"Where are your shoes?"

"Hidan decided he wasn't really keen on them so he coated them with vomit." He hadn't seen the point in cleaning the things and so had instead chucked them in the nearest bin. The floor had been wet and covered in sharp things but he didn't want Hidan carrying him home.

"That was kind of a dick move." Ino glanced towards the stack of shoes by the door. "Unless they were those skanky brown trainers you've had for years. Those things made me feel sick."

"Ha ha." Shikamaru ignored her and walked off with Hidan trailing behind. He'd been silent all the way back and it seemed as if he was sleep walking. Especially as he kept walking into lamp posts. This was added to when he walked into a door frame.

"You're going to give yourself brain damage if you're not careful."

"…I have blood on my shirt." Shikamaru glanced down and indeed saw the flecks of red all over the shirt.

"Probably from the punching." Hidan held up his hand. A couple of his nails had cracked from the impact and he had some dried blood on his knuckles.

"…Shit." He pulled his clothes off and started scrubbing his hand in the sink. "Damn this stings."

"It would." He went to take the clothes to the washing machine but Hidan decided he didn't agree with this.

"No! Burn that shit!"

"Why? It's my shirt."

"It's had traces of Kakuzu on it. You need to destroy it." Hidan scowled at the idea of even traces of Kakuzu being near him.

"You can if you want." He didn't want to join in with any of it. The landlord would probably be pissed off at them for holding impromptu bonfires too.

"You guys have petrol right?"

"No. It's not exactly a household object."

"Tch. Fine, I'll improvise."

"Just don't do it near any flammables." He shouldn't have to specify but he knew if he didn't it wouldn't end well. The curtains had only just recovered.

"What is he doing now?"

"Burning his clothes?" Ino obviously wanted to know more but Shikamaru preferred his bed over anything else. This had been a long a troublesome week.

Hidan had really shouted at Kakuzu and now he'd gotten the anger out of his system he was probably feeling a lot better. And now they could go back to normal. This thought made Shikamaru pause. Hidan was neurotic and needy. Part of the reason he'd clung to Shikamaru in the first place was that he was freaked out after losing the only stable thing he had.

And now he doesn't need me anymore… This thought came without warning and he scowled at the ceiling. It was a stupid thing to say even if it was only to yourself. Maybe at first that was why Hidan had stuck around but now it was more than that. I'm becoming weird… One minute I want him gone and the next I always want him around. Troublesome…

I hope… Shikamaru bit his lip. His brain was being such an asshole today. Hidan ambled into the room, fire alarm blazing behind him and with his arms looking a little singed.

"For future reference, if you wanna burn something don't use Blondie's hair spray. That shit goes up way too quickly."

"…Please tell me the house isn't on fire."

"Of course it isn't!" Hidan had the gall to look offended. "Fatty put it out before it left the kitchen."

"Great." Another thing he owed Choji for.

"Why are you being weird?" Hidan glared at him, millimetres from his face.

"My feet hurt because I walked home with no shoes?"

"Oh…" Hidan looked like he felt bad about this. "Sorry?"

"As long as you don't make a habit of it." Hidan dropped to his knees and began rubbing his feet. "…What are you doing now?"

"I'm rubbing your feet you ungrateful shit!" Hidan looked kind of embarrassed so Shikamaru chose to drop it. Normally old married couple jokes would need to be made but the mood wasn't quite right.

"That's better, thanks."

"Blow job costs extra." He winked so Shikamaru felt he had no choice but to shove his foot in his face. "Hey! It was a joke!"

"That's why I only kicked you." Hidan was rubbing his face and pouting. He seemed pretty much the same as usual. "Feel better?"

"…Yeah." He considered this. "He used to be strong."

"You are too."

"Sometimes…"

"I've seen you lift and shake a vending machine."

"It was only a nudge! And I didn't get it more than a few millimetres off the ground!"

"It was weird."

"I shared the stash! Although you didn't deserve any after you refused to try and reach any of it."

"People get their arms stuck in those things."

"Pussy." Shikamaru stared at Hidan.

I hope he doesn't leave. This time he didn't ignore the thought.

"…Why are you looking at me like that?" He hadn't even realised he'd been staring.

"I'm thinking of ways that you can pay me back for the shoes and the kitchen."

"You insensitive jerk!"