My Pet Peeve

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

It was early on a Sunday morning when Shikamaru opened the front door to a rather unexpected discovery. He'd been taking out a bin bag and ended up nearly tripping over a half-naked girl who had decided to pass out on their doorstep.

Why do they always end up in our damn house? Hidan was enough of a weirdo without others showing up. As he had already filled his quota for dealing with crazy people he decided that it was time someone else took responsibility. Ino was still sleeping so it was satisfying to stand hammering on her bedroom door until she appeared looking bleary eyed and confused.

"There's a girl on the doorstep, deal with it."

"Wha-?" He pushed her door shut and walked off. Even if nothing was done, it was no longer his problem.

Hidan was still asleep as he had been when Shikamaru had left the room, except now he was on the floor. It was likely he hadn't noticed falling off at all. Shikamaru crouched down next to him and stared for a second. Although the continuous talking could get irritating, it was kind of comforting after a while. That didn't mean the few moments of silence weren't appreciated.

It seemed Hidan could sense that he was being watched because he opened one eye and scowled slightly.

"Why'm I on the floor?"

"Because you move around in your sleep."

"…My back hurts."

"Get off the floor then."

"Don't be a bitch." Hidan sat up and leaned up against Shikamaru. "Well?"

"What?"

"Are you gonna give me some fucking sympathy then?" Shikamaru rolled his eyes and started patting his irritating boyfriend on the arm. "I get the feeling you aren't taking this seriously."

"Why would you think that?" Hidan pushed him over and put his hand over Shikamaru's so he couldn't move. It had started out as screwing around but gradually they froze as they realised what position they had ended up in.

Hidan stared at him with widened eyes and neither of them seemed capable of doing or saying anything until Hidan leaned in to kiss Shikamaru. It was surprisingly gentle for him and they both looked fairly surprised. Just as Hidan was about to say something, the door flew open and he pulled away quickly.

"Your asshole girlfriend is on the sofa, deal with her." Ino slammed it shut after this and Shikamaru knew he was in for it now.

"Girlfriend?" For some reason his boyfriend didn't quite understand that Ino couldn't be trusted and so was giving him hateful looks.

"I'm guessing she means the drunk girl from the doorstep." I am going to kill her for this.

"What? You better explain this bullshit."

"I don't even know what's going on. I just found a girl passed out on the doorstep so I got Ino to deal with her." Hidan was still paranoid about people, especially women. He hadn't forgotten that Shikamaru had considered himself heterosexual before they met.

"And you don't know her?"

"No!" Even if he understood why he acted like he did it was still a pain in the ass to deal with.

"Hmm…" Hidan was giving him one of those looks, earning him a scowl.

"Well why don't you deal with her then?" It would be less effort for him and he would get (hopefully) less moaning.

"No way in hell." He did not deal well with strange people.

"Then I'll get rid of her. Just don't be an ass about it." He regretted this when he saw a slightly hurt expression on the other's face.

"I'll go too then." It would be nice to have the moral support at least. He felt like he should probably apologise for that comment but he was also stubborn when he was in the mood.

"Let's just get this over with then." He wasn't sure how the girl had ended up in their house anyway. All Ino had to do was wake her up and send her home. Shikamaru was not going to just leave a random person sitting downstairs however.

The girl was practically laying on their sofa like she owned the place. Her hair was black and cut short up around her ears, and she was wearing a red cropped top with black shorts and black boots. When she noticed them she gave them a lazy smile.

"Could you get me a glass of water? My head is killing me." There was no apology for invading another person's house.

"…Ok?" Shikamaru went to do this leaving Hidan alone with her. It would serve him right for being overly possessive.

Hidan was not best pleased at all about this and so in usual fashion sat at the other end of the room. He watched her cautiously in the same way a feral cat stares at a passing person.

"Hi." She tried smiling. Hidan was not impressed with this and continued to glare. "Wow, you're talkative."

Fuck off you irritating bitch. He knew nothing about her but the fact that she dared to appear in his house and ruin what was a nice moment, even unknowingly, made her a bitch in his opinion.

Shikamaru returned and handed her the glass, hovering next to her as she drank it. Hopefully this would get rid of her soon so he only had to deal with one person.

"Thanks." She handed him back the glass with a smile.

"You're welcome." Now leave. Hidan was still scowling at her clearly unimpressed.

"I'm Kurotsuchi, I live over that way." She gestured towards the top of the road. "You?"

"Shikamaru. And that's Hidan."

"He's very friendly, isn't he?" She pointed at Hidan who looked like he was about to start hissing.

"Sorry he doesn't like strangers very much." This felt like an odd phrase to use about an adult male.

"I can see that." Kurotsuchi was eyeing Hidan in the same way most people eyed a slice of cake. Shikamaru noticed this and he wasn't exactly pleased about it.

"So why were you on our doorstep?"

"I forgot where I lived I guess. Had a little too much to drink last night."

"I see…"

"I'm guessing you guys are students too?"

"Well-."

"I'm first year geology. You?" She seemed to be directing this question towards Hidan.

"I'm a second year, biology." Shikamaru was talking through gritted teeth but she still only gave him a quick glance.

"And you scowly?" Hidan was getting close to throwing the vase at her. He was actually reaching towards it.

"He's not a student." She gave him a puzzled look.

"Then why is he living here?"

"Umm…" Hidan chose this moment to stand up and leave. "Where are you going?"

"I need a piss." Well thanks for that. Shikamaru noticed that she was watching his ass as he left, something that added to his irritation. When you considered how placid he normally was, this was a pretty major thing. She doesn't know so just ignore her…

"Your friend is pretty fine." It seemed she was quite determined. She'd gotten onto the main point quite quickly.

"I suppose." Of course he knew that. Most people were not too keen on him because of his odd personality bit looks wise he was definitely fortunate.

"I'm guessing he's not single?"

"No he isn't." She tutted and for once he could understand how Hidan felt. It was crap having someone else looking at your boyfriend. Worse was having someone discuss their attraction to your boyfriend in front of you.

"Is it the blonde girl?"

"No. Actually he's not that way inclined." She gave him a funny look. "He has a boyfriend."

"What? Goddammit! He was pretty good too." She was pretty put out.

"Hm…" Hopefully this would put her off.

"So who is it?" She was leaning towards him with a serious expression. "What kind of guy is he?"

"Me."

"Huh?"

"I'm his boyfriend." This took her aback for just a minute. Then she smiled.

"I see… Well I have to go now." She hopped up off the sofa and headed to the front door. "See you around." He hadn't been keen on that smile she was doing.

Not long after she disappeared, Hidan decided to come back downstairs. He peered his head round and made sure she was definitely gone before he let his guard down.

"Thank fuck for that. Stupid bitch." He went and sat on the chair she had just vacated. His nose wrinkled in distaste. "I can smell her shitty perfume."

"I didn't notice her perfume."

"Good. I'm glad you didn't get close enough." Hidan thought for a minute. "Why were you guys talking for so long?"

"We were talking about you." This was met with a blank expression.

"Eh?"

"She thought you were 'pretty fine'. I have a feeling she's into you." This was obviously a surprise.

"Really? Fucking hell." Hidan was thinking this over more than was acceptable.

"Are you interested?"

"Eh?"

"In that girl." Shikamaru wasn't sure why he was even asking.

"Ohh." Hidan pondered this thought. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and looked away, something that Hidan was surprisingly quick to notice. "Problem?"

"No."

"You sure?" The tone in the other boy's voice made him pay attention. Hidan had one of those smiles on his faces, clearly enjoying this.

"What are you looking so happy about?" Hidan smiled even more widely and walked over. He leant into the smaller boy's face.

"You like me." He was very pleased with this.

"Well I thought that would be obvious considering we are now dating."

"Not what I meant." Hidan was pretty smug looking and this situation. He even started poking Shikamru's ponytail. This was a major role reversal.

"I know."

"I think I like this."

"What?"

"You being jealous."

"I'm not jealous." Obviously he was a little but he was never going to admit this. It was irritating that Hidan was only perceptive when it was inconvenient.

"Now you know how it feels asshole." He was happy at that thought and he fell back into the chair grinning widely. "So… maybe we should go see that woman?" Hidan looked over at him and smiled.

"Good idea. And then we can go and see Temari."

"…Point taken."