Nick fingered the envelope in his hands, his mind racing. It was quiet, too quiet, irritatingly quiet, but the thought of putting on some music or the television didn't occur to him. His mind kept returning to Jeff. He hadn't spoken to him in a few weeks, and hadn't seen him since he had ordered him out of the bedroom. His parents had decided that it would be best if they (mainly him) left the Sterling home prematurely given the situation, and though they had not blamed him, Nick had seen the disappointment in his mother's eyes. She hadn't needed to say a word. He knew he had screwed up, known it from the moment he had told Jeff he hadn't wanted him...the same thing fifteen year old Jeff had tearfully told him that his birth mother had told him when he had gone to see her.
He hadn't meant to say it, but it had been so frustrating in that moment with Jeff yelling at him and he not being able to find some sort of justification for his actions. Not that there was any at the end of the day. Nick could admit that he had handled the situation badly. He had from the very beginning. But, he did recognise that a weird part of him liked the fact that Jeff was in love with him, had been for so long. It felt good knowing that he inspired such feelings in another, but Nick always knew that he didn't love the blonde in the same way. He loved him, that was undeniable, but he had not been in love with him. And, despite knowing that, he had strung him along until it had come to this.
Nick gave a haggard sigh, dropping the envelope in favour of raking his hand through his hair. What was he to do? What was he to say? It was why he had never initiated conversation with Jeff past a check in those first few days after he had been released from the hospital, and while he could rationalise that Jeff had not started a conversation either, he knew very well that he would not. He had ignored him and then insulted him to the point where the blonde would not risk it. He had been such an ass to him, and yet Nick freely admitted that he missed him. Jeff had been a part of his life from the very beginning. They were destined to be friends given their parents' history together, and Nick knew that he could not see a long term future without Jeff.
He had hoped that Christmas would have sorted everything out. That they could move pass the fact that Jeff was in love with him and returned to the relationship they had always had, the one Nick loved. He loved college. He loved rooming with Blaine, but ever so often he wondered what it would be like if it was Jeff here in New York with him instead, of the absolutely hilarious time they would have together. Except, he had more than likely screwed that up. And yet, still, despite everything, Nick missed him, missed him so much that he wanted to call him and just say all the things he had been thinking, but it was late enough that he didn't want to disturb him, given the competition tomorrow. Nick bit off an oath, rolling over and staring at the envelope Blaine had left him.
What should he do?
"Give me a hug lil bro," Finn demanded, making grabby arms at Kurt who, with a laugh, all but launched himself into his arms. Finn pulled him close, uncaring of anyone who was watching them. He lowered his head the distance required to murmur in Kurt's ear, "No matter which one of us win today, I am so damn proud of you, okay kiddo? You've come so far, and you are already a winner in my eyes."
Finn felt as Kurt relaxed against him. "I love you," Kurt said simply, and smiling softly, Finn released him from the embrace, his hand reaching up to stroke his cheek affectionately.
"You are being quite cuddly," Kurt remarked, although he made no move to escape the movement, his arm moving absentmindedly in response to something one of the Warblers called to him.
"Well I was going to tell you this last night," he explained, "but you were fast asleep by the time I came to your room and you were gone by the time I got up this morning."
"Last minute practice and make-up application," he said.
Finn frowned, looking into his face. "I don't see any."
"We haven't done faces. We had some marks and bruises that needed to be disguised."
Finn winced sympathetically; Kurt had gotten pretty battered over the past few days. "You're in long sleeves though."
Kurt shot him a decidedly mischievous look. "Maybe we are, maybe we aren't," he teased with a grin.
"Spoiler alert, I've seen your costume."
"Oh have you?"
"Tickles," Finn said threateningly, and Kurt chuckled dancing back from him.
"I'm going to meet my team."
"I'll see you inside," Finn agreed, and watched with fondness as Kurt ran to catch up with his fellow uniformed students, a redheaded one immediately drawing him into conversation as they went into the venue.
Finn quickly checked the time. An hour and a half until the show began. He dug his phone out of his jeans pocket, dialling a number from memory. "Yo," he began without preamble once the call connected, "where are you?"
"They've really pulled out all the stops," Trent remarked, as he quickly went through the programme they had been given after being escorted to their dressing room. "They've got two guest performances, and fifteen minute musical interludes between each performance. We're going third by the way."
"You guessed right then," Phillip said, looking up from the button he was deftly sewing onto a freshman's jacket. "We're performing inverse to our Sectional scores."
"Hopefully the results won't be in that order," George pipped up, wriggling his shoulders as a test to his shirt.
"Are we sure this make-up won't bleed through the shirts?" a random voice asked.
"That's why we chose black shirts," someone answered.
"Snow pales in comparison to my skin colour!"
"Just don't sweat," Jeff quipped and the person groaned – a typical response to one of Jeff's more outlandish statements.
"A bit tighter," Kurt told him, and following the request, Jeff pulled the restraints around Kurt's arm a bit more taunt before securing it.
"This is a good thing right? When it just does its own square dance?"
Kurt snorted at the description but nodded. "I've noticed that I end up with a bit more feeling and movement after these fits happen."
"Not in pain though?"
"I took my meds," Kurt reassured him, "I'll be fine, okay. Now get your shirt fixed."
"You're bossy when you're nervous."
"And you're a brat all the time."
"Good point."
Kurt moved away from him, giving a bit of a pep-talk to a sophomore who looked particularly nervous and just smiling at one of the dancers who was jamming away to his phone. Whatever worked, he told himself.
Fifteen minutes later they were all basically in order and so Trent took the time to speak. "Okay gentlemen," he said loudly, calling them to order, "this is it, the moment we've been working on for so long. We've done everything we could have to prepare for this, and because of that I have one thing to say. Forget about it. Forget the nerves, forget the worry, hell forget about winning. What I want for us to do is to just go out there and have fun. Let the audience see what we see. That we enjoy what we're doing and who we're doing it with. Don't worry if you make a misstep. Do a jig and get back into it. Forget a word? Laugh it off and move along. If you get stage fright, look to the person next to you and they'll help you through. This is our moment guys, and I want us all to enjoy every last second of it. The theme is love, and all I want to do is make sure that they see the love we have for each other and what we've come here to do."
A cheer rose up from the gathered teenagers in response to his words, and a few people started thumping each other or just plain out glomping on the nearest person, something that drew a laugh from Kurt. So caught up in their merriment, Kurt nearly missed a rap on the door. He stopped laughing, his eyes quickly darting to the clock on the wall. There's was still a good twenty minutes before they were supposed to be escorted to their seats for the opening of the show.
"I'll answer it," Jeff murmured from beside him. Kurt watched curiously as he went to the door and peered around it, the angle preventing him from seeing who it was. He stared as Jeff actually gasped, and he tugged at Trent's sleeve to get his attention even as Jeff leapt forward to hug someone with a gleeful shout.
That caught the attention of the room and everyone turned toward the door.
"Wes!" Phillip shouted, and Kurt's eyes widened as the door opened fully.
Indeed, Wes was there, in jeans and a long sleeved shirt, currently with his arms full of Jeff. "But how...?" Trent breathed beside him even as a dark-skinned teenager pushed past him to enter the room.
"Hello Warblers!" David announced, sauntering in with a grin, followed by an equally smiling Thad and...
"Andrew!" Kurt half-shouted, running over. He stopped to give David a quick hug, who rolled his eyes indulgently before allowing Kurt to bypass him for the burly Yale student who swept him up into a tight hug.
"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked as he was released.
"Well it's not every day the Warblers are poised to make history you know," he told him with that wide grin that always left Kurt feeling cheerful. "But I'll tell you more of that after you've met everyone."
"Everyone?" Kurt repeated, and, patting his shoulder fondly, Andrew pushed Kurt behind him before walking further into the room to greet a few more of the Warblers.
There was no one in the doorway, but, trusting the redhead, Kurt stepped out into the hallway, only to feel his feet weaken slightly at the person standing there.
"Blaine!" he said, his eyes stinging suddenly. "Blaine."
His boyfriend was indeed standing there, a large bouquet of flowers in his hands. He dropped it immediately as Kurt barrelled into him, flinging his arm around his neck. "I take it you like my surprise," Blaine said with a laugh as he held him close, tanging his fingers into the hair at the base of his neck. Kurt pulled back, and in lieu of words kissed him long and hard.
"I love your surprise," he told him, voice shaky. "Wait...is that why I heard the train last night."
Blaine nodded, and chuckled when Kurt hit his shoulder. "I'm sorry I lied poppet. I hope my presence makes up for it."
"I wasn't supposed to see you again until June."
"Which is entirely too far away," Blaine replied, "plus we have to make up for Valentine's Day."
"How long are you here for?" he asked quickly.
"Just until tomorrow night," Blaine told him sadly, but Kurt nodded in acceptance. He knew that Blaine had classes to get back to, but was still so glad he had managed to come.
"Let's go inside," Blaine said, pulling him close. "I want to wish everyone good luck. Oh, and you look gorgeous."
"Thank you," Kurt answered. He realised something as he walked into the room. "No Nick?"
Blaine sighed, his eyes falling on Jeff who thankfully seemed quite cheerful, ensconced between Thad and David. "He didn't want to come. I still left him a ticket before I left in case he changed his mind, but he hasn't called me or anything. I was actually considering not letting you guys know we were here until afterwards to spare Jeff that, but Thad was worried that someone would spot us in the crowd while onstage. We're here to watch you qualify for Nationals, not to disrupt you."
"You're that confident about us?" Kurt asked.
"Sweetheart, your Sectionals routine blew anything we did out of the water. And from what you've said, your presentation today surpasses that. I have every bit of faith that you're going to head the Warblers' first journey to Nationals."
"Hopefully you're right," Kurt murmured. "I want to make you proud."
"I am already proud," Blaine told him with full sincerity, and those words warmed Kurt straight to his heart, "never doubt that Kurt. I am so, so proud of you and everything you have and will continue to accomplish."
Kurt made an embarrassed sound, and Blaine chuckled, kissing his cheek once before surrendering him back to Andrew.