My Pet Peeve

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

"Wake up!" Shikamaru was pretty used to this kind of treatment and so instead of jumping up, he opened his eyes slowly and glared at Kiba.

"What?" He tried to put as much venom as possible into this one syllable.

"We're here." He glanced out of the window of the coach and sighed. "I know, it's a shit hole."

"Why do they inflict this bullshit on us?" They had trips as part of their course but every time they had to go to some desolate space in the middle of nowhere. Today was no exception.

It wasn't a bad beach that they'd taken them to but it definitely wasn't worth driving two hours in a stuffy coach to get to. The rain and wind didn't help either. Shikamaru was most definitely not in the mood to be doing any kind of field work.

"Hurry up everyone, you are wasting your youth!" Oh yes, and Gai was the supervisor for this particular trip. Hikes up practically vertical hills seemed almost inevitable.

"Come on Shika, my legs are cramped!"

"Wait a sec." He grabbed a mirror out of his bag and scowled again. As he expected, Kiba had drawn a dick on his face.

"How did you know?" He raised an eyebrow at the idiot. It was something that he was well known for doing when around anyone who passed out or fell asleep. This meant he was very predictable. "…Ok, I do it a lot."

"You do." This was also the reason he packed wet wipes. After removing the inked member, he finally walked into the apparent typhoon, scowling as he did. Sasuke had an expression very similar to his own and they both nodded at each other.

"Why couldn't they move this fucking trip? The marine biologists don't even have to put up with this shit." Kiba kicked a nearby bottle, narrowly missing Gai.

"Because the marine biologists don't have idiots like him." Sasuke pointed at the asshole lecturer who was currently handing out worksheets.

It seemed the main part of this involved collecting soil samples. On a beach with little surrounding vegetation. They shared a glance. Gai had either bought the wrong work sheet or just fucked up in the planning stage. Silently the entire group split off to 'work'. No one wanted to point this out and end up being shoved back on the coach to find somewhere else.

"Remind me, why did I do biology?"

"You want to study dogs."

"Yeah but this has nothing to do with dogs."

"To be honest Kiba, we were surprised when you made it into uni. And that you passed first year." Someone who did so little work and spent most of their time screwing around should not pass exams. In some ways he was a genius.

"You guys are surprised? Think about how I felt!"

After they found a suitable spot from which to work (a covered bench), they sat down and stared at the miserable weather. It was a major waste of a day.

"We also have to get some sea water apparently." Sasuke looked over at Kiba. "You can get that"

"How much will you pay me if I piss in it instead?"

"We have to use this in labs later, dipshit." Shikamaru definitely wasn't going to spend three hours in a confined space playing around with his friend's piss.

"Sea water is basically all piss now anyway." Luckily this was the last thing he decided to say on the matter.

The three of them sat on the bench for quite a while, waiting for the rain to stop but if anything it got worse. It was one of the most boring trips they had been on and Shikamaru regretted his choice of course. Field trips weren't the easy skiving he'd thought they'd be. They did have to make a move once as Kiba spotted Gai walking towards their general direction.

"Shit, guys look busy!" It was pretty easy to crouch down on a small patch of grass nearby. Shikamaru didn't have a hood and so he glared at the other two and their sensibly waterproof coats.

Being in the rain had a tendency to remind him of Hidan and how they first met. In some ways he yearned for the way he had been so quiet. It was likely that he would cut down on the talking if Shikamaru insisted but that would be too similar to what Kakuzu had done for his liking.

"Hey Shika." Sasuke got his attention and snapped him out of the daydreams.

"Need something?"

"Naruto is planning on babysitting your boyfriend. Should I encourage this?"

"It might stop him from trashing the house… Why though?"

"Because he's bored probably."

Hidan had not been impressed when he discovered he was being 'abandoned' (his words) for an entire day. He wasn't as needy as he used to be but he had complained that he would probably die of boredom. This was a great improvement compared to the days where he wouldn't let Shikamaru go to the toilet in peace.

"Hidan was complaining about boredom all morning so it'll be good for them." It was likely that Hidan would end up having a better day than he was having.

-Page Break-

The aforementioned boyfriend of Shikamaru was currently laying on the hallway floor. He'd still been asleep when his boyfriend had left that morning and as he was alone for the day saw no reason to make an effort to do very much. After slowly dragging himself to the bathroom, he was currently pulling himself back to bed.

Yet again he was irritated by himself. It couldn't be fun for Shikamaru having someone being so dependent on him. Hidan also hated how dull it was without the other boy. The sense of dullness was lessened slightly by Ino nearly tripping over him.

"Walk like a normal person!"

"No." She growled at him and stormed down the stairs. This at least provided him with some entertainment even if this was short lived. Once she was out of hearing range he pulled himself up and calmly walked back to the room. Knowing how much he was trolling her was satisfying enough.

Back in the bedroom he sat and stared at the wall. There was really nothing to do. Going outdoors wasn't something he did alone and anyway, he didn't have his own house key. As he sat wondering what he was going to with his time, this question was answered for him when Naruto walked in.

"Hidan!" The blonde was a nice guy but Hidan was really tired and had no moral support.

"What?" The boy was actually creepy with the amount of happy he was showing. Not quite as scary as Lee but still too enthusiastic. Not to mention the fact that he hadn't even heard the doorbell ring to let him in.

"Get ready, we're going out."

"Why?"

"Because I said so!"

And so this was how Hidan ended up being led down the road, completely confused. His brain wasn't sure how to process this weird occurrence. Because of the shock of being forced out, he took a while to notice where he was.

They were currently on the way to Naruto and Sasuke's house. He wasn't sure why this was better than being at home but he had little else to do. They even passed the corner where Hidan first met Shikamaru, a few streets away from their old house.

"Why'd you drag me out anyway?" Naruto had plenty of other friends to annoy.

"We're both alone so I figured you'd be bored too."

"Hn…" That wasn't exactly wrong.

"And I invited Lee and Neji." Hidan stopped in the middle of the street. "What?"

"You thought I'd wanna spend time with the green fucktard?"

"He's not that bad."

"He makes me look like a fucking genius."

"Ok he does… but he's a nice guy."

"Tch." If I had a fucking key, I'd be gone. It seemed he was stuck with this until Shikamaru returned.

Naruto and Sasuke had managed to keep the same house, mainly because they'd discouraged anyone who had tried to look at it and so the landlord had no choice. Hidan only thought of this house as the place where he was forced to socialise needlessly. Seeing the green clad buffoon and his long-haired friend waiting outside didn't change his opinion. And when the buffoon started waving at them he shuddered.

"Hidan!" Lee had obviously forgotten about being knocked out by him, possibly it was brain damage.

"Hi there…" Neji did still remember and was giving Hidan wary looks. From his point of view Hidan was definitely unhinged, even if Lee had been asking for it.

"Ok boys," Naruto pushed the door open as he talked, "Gaara's had an all nighter finishing a report so be kind of quiet."

"Gaara isn't well?" Lee had bounded forward, practically yelling. "Shouldn't we help him?"

"If we step into his room we will die."

"Just go and sit down Lee."

Hidan was watching these guys bounding around all happily with a mixture of relief and annoyance. On the plus side they were all going to amuse each other. What irritated him was that there was no reason for him to be there.

"Right, what we gonna do?" Naruto had made them all sit at the table in the kitchen and was standing at the head of it like the commanding general.

"We could exercise!"

"No."

"Never."

"Fuck off."

"Right," Naruto ignored Lee's dejected face and continued. "We have a whole day guys! We need to do something!"

"Watch a film?"

"Not bad Neji. Hidan?" Why should I be joining in this bullshit?

"Eating."

"Well I guess that is essential for life… Oh, we could go to the cinema!"

"Excellent!"

"It's not bad."

"Hidan? You up for it?"

"If you want." He'd never been to the cinema before, it wasn't something he felt passionate about. The sum total of his knowledge was that screens were involved.

-Page Break-

In hindsight it was probably a bad idea to go to a darkened, confined space. Hidan hadn't known what to expect and after being told they were going to watch a comedy was led into what could only be described as a torture chamber.

People were packed into seats that were crushed together in a darkened room, with black paint on all the walls. Everyone stared at a large screen at the front of the room. He didn't like it but Naruto lured him in promising popcorn and so he followed. He could just put up with it but when the lights lowered and the screen lit up he gulped. The sound was reverberating in his head, he could barely see anything and it smelt vile.

Even when the film started he couldn't get comfortable. It was like a major sensory overload. And then the story became more of a romantic comedy. This was not pleasing at all. Especially as it involved two women with very little personality fighting over the same man. Said man was a cunt.

After a while, Hidan had had enough. It wasn't worth sitting through it for another hour. Sadly Lee caught up with him just as he left the screen room.

"Where are you going?"

"Out. I can't be bothered with this crap." By this point Naruto and Neji had caught up.

"It is kind of a shit film."

"But it's a love story!"

"About fake dicks." The entertainment value in it was low. This wasn't why he really hated it. Hidan didn't like being shut in a confined room with loads of people. All he wanted right now was some fresh air. He could feel his heart rate increasing and so he rushed past and dashed out the side exit, where he started panting.

"Shit, are you ok?" Naruto was hovering next to him looking awkward.

"I'm going home."

"Do you want me to walk with you?"

"Just go and watch the rest of the shitty movie." He didn't mind Naruto but he didn't want to feel like an asshole for ruining someone else's day. Although he wouldn't be able to get in the house, he could sit and wait on the doorstep.

This was where Shikamaru found him when he returned, soaking wet and exhausted by the ordeal of field trip.

"Why are you there?" It looked like Ino had put him on a naughty step.

"Blonde one took me to the cinema."

"Oh… Have fun?"

"It was fucking terrible."

"Ah…."

"How was the trip?"

"Shit."

"So we've both had a crappy day."

"It would seem so." This did not surprise him. Hidan stood up and threw his arms around Shikamaru, ignoring the fact that he was soaked.

"Are we going to go inside?"

"Too fucking right, I am freezing my bollocks off."