Phineas woke up sweaty and miserable. Brushing his teeth proved quite the challenge after Phineas accidentally decapitated the toothbrush. He enjoyed bending them since his wee years, much to his mother's dismay. His bruises and sore spots only made it harder.
"Ferb, your stupid weight set is in my way!" Candace shouted.
"I'm texting Vanessa!" Ferb bellowed.
Candace scoffed and kicked one of the weights, only to fall on the ground in pain. "FERB!" Candace screamed at the top of her lungs. "Come here and help me up this INSTANT!"
"Can't you give it a rest?!" Ferb shouted.
"Some brother you are," Candace muttered.
But Ferb's keen ears heard. He realized it might be best to assess the situation. He payed much more attention to a muttering Candace than a yelling one, because the latter seemed to be her default. "Candace?" Ferb called. He saw Candace with eyes scrunched up and hands holding her foot tightly. "This isn't hard to move," Ferb explained, but he got distracted by his phone.
Candace gasped in surprise at this. She got up with a miffed expression and moved the weights. Her foot still hurt. Ferb did not seem to notice her groaning as she did what she had asked him to do, and FERB was the gentleman, and she would THINK that he would run over to do it for her politely, but NO. He was too busy texting some girl or some dude that Ferb apparently respected more than his stepsister.
Phineas, meanwhile, was assessing the new acne on his face. He pinched it, and recoiled in pain. He shook his head to refresh his face like one would an internet page. It didn't work.
As they walked out the door, Candace to her new job and Phineas and Ferb to school, Ferb bumped into Phineas, who almost fell over.
Phineas and Ferb boarded the bus.
Phineas sat next to Isabella, again.
Fiona, who was across from them, was intensely focused on her drawing.
"Good morning," Phineas greeted.
"Hi, Phineas," a distant Isabella responded.
"Are you okay?" Phineas asked.
"As usual," Isabella explained.
"Ah, okay," Phineas finished, satisfied with her answer.
"And done!" Fiona exclaimed.
"What?" Phineas exclaimed.
"I just finished my drawing," Fiona beckoned. Her cousin Balthazar was quietly sitting beside her. He did not look, because he had watched her draw it.
"Ooh, is that a treehouse?" Phineas inquired.
"Of sorts," Fiona answered. "It is a little abstract..."
"You could make that! Here, could I show you my blueprint?" Phineas beckoned.
"Sure!" Fiona confirmed.
"It is a giant art piece that has real functionality. We could put it in that empty lot next to the Googleplex Mall," Phineas suggested.
Now, Fiona was not prepared for what was on that blueprint. She thought he had probably been pretending or something, but these were complex, menacing blueprints.
"There's a spa?" Fiona gaped. "And why a giant toy truck, inside a giant alarm clock? Oh, that is for if little kids come, huh? Aw, that is so sweet that you would think of that."
Phineas blushed red, not because Fiona was doing things to his head, but because the toy truck was not meant for the little kids. It actually really hit him in the gut.
He wished Perry was there in his lap.
"Yeah, the alarm clock is going to be quite big," Phineas stated. "There will be a lot of stuff in it."
Isabella sat up straight. Was Phineas talking about building, again? "Huh?" she responded as she woke from her stagnant stupor.
"I'm planning on building a giant alarm clock this afternoon," Phineas explained. "Want to look at it?"
There was that giddy inventor smile that Isabella thought was responsible for her falling for him in the first place.
"Sure," Isabella answered. She peered on to the paper and perused it. "Remove the giant toy truck," she stated..
"Why?" Fiona inquired.
"It is just- so- kiddy," Isabella stated.
"Isn't that the point?" Fiona responded. "There is going to be something that little kids will enjoy, inside- a- giant- alarm- clock. You know what, Phineas? The more we talk about this, the more absurd it sounds."
Something clicked in Isabella's head.
This was the new girl Phineas was hanging out with? Is he building because of her? What does he think of her? Does she like like him?
Isabella decided to assume yes to all of the questions. She thought she was probably right on at least three of them, which turned to all of them.
"What's wrong with a giant alarm clock?" Phineas asked.
Fiona paused.
"It would probably get vandalized to a horrible extent," Fiona stated.
Isabella perked up. Fiona's answer showed that she had putten real thought into the matter, and that she had given a creative answer. Creativity, the word rang dissonant in Isabella's mind.
"I hadn't thought of that," Phineas admitted. "I could set up a defense system."
"Are you serious? I would hope that it would use nonlethal defense tactics," Fiona tried.
"I can mount something that shoots tranquilizer darts on top of cameras," Phineas countered.
"Ah, now that sounds interesting," Fiona stated. "Still, where would you get resources to do such a thing?"
"Oh, I have a supplier," Phineas stated.
"Seriously?" Balthazar tested.
"Yeah," Phineas responded.
"But it's a building," Fiona tried.
"Yes," Phineas confirmed.
"And you are a junior in high school," Fiona inquired.
"Yep," Phineas answered.
"Look, don't get me wrong, you have a wonderful blueprint, and it is really detailed, but how the heck are you going to build a life-sized building while being a junior in high school?" Fiona doubted.
"Well, I have all of my permits in order," Phineas validated.
"That's your answer? What about balancing a costly time-consuming construction endeavour with high school, having to pay through the nose for the construction of a giant building that isn't even going to be of huge significance?" Fiona wondered. "Not to mention, you are still technically not even an adult, so aren't you a little young for this type of thing?"
"I think I can do it in one afternoon," Phineas stated.
Fiona burst into laughter.
"Sure, and tomorrow, we're going to start a pineapple farm!" Fiona exclaimed.
Balthazar started to chuckle too.
"Hey! I have done this kind of thing before," Phineas responded.
"If you say so," Fiona stopped.
The bus stopped and the kids got out.
· · ·
"Class, turn in your five things with carbon in it in the hand-in bin," Heinz instructed.
The class did so.
"Alright, now genetics," Heinz stated. "When we look at DNA, we have three parts. Can anyone guess what they are?"
Silence echoed through the sphere of their shapeless answer.
"We have our deoxyribos sugars," Heinz started. "And?"
He waited a full fifteen seconds.
"And nitrogenous bases. And?" Heinz prompted.
He waited seventy seconds.
"And phosphate groups," Heinz finished. "And, I think I'll assign you all extra homework."
Everyone groaned.
"This isn't because you didn't get any of them, it is because you didn't guess. In this class, it is better to try and fail than to not try at all, in all safe situations," Heinz explained.
A boy raised his hand. Phineas looked over and gasped.
"Sir, are you not to introduce us?" the boy asked in a perfect British accent. This was the boy in his dream. The blonde hair burned in his mind.
"Ah, yes. Class, we have three new students. Meet Richy, Clarissa, and Calavier," Heinz explained, pointing to each one as he said their name.
"Calavier," Phineas thought. He thought it sounded like "cavalier", and that is because it did.
"Guess what? I made you all name tags!" Heinz announced in a sing-song voice.
It was so quiet, they could almost hear their own heartbeat.
"Come up here, class. Man, is it just me, or are you guys zombies or something? Will you react if- Will you react if I start throwing raincoats?" Heinz wondered.
"You're not a very smart teacher, are you?" Richy responded.
"Excuse me?" Heinz challenged.
"My dad sells hearing aids at his drugstore," Richy advertised.
"I can hear just fine!" Heinz raged.
"That is a dumb response," Richy stated.
"I'm sorry, class, for the intermission. I am going to have a word with this boy in the other room," Heinz punished.
The class mumbled as Doofenshmirtz walked out of the room with Richy in front of him.
Two minutes later, they came out.
"Well, that was a productive talk," Heinz stated happily.
Everyone saw Richy's twisted grin, except for oblivious Heinz.
"Alright, class, let us get back to our genetics, shall we?" Heinz motioned.
Soon, they were beckoned to Mrs. Weaver's class.
"Alright, class. We are going to hit this hard; I want two essays out of all of you; make it snappy! One is going to be on human evolution, and the other on racial diversity! I want this to be all politically correct! If it isn't, you will pay one hundred score times over! You're all going to fail at life anyway, so make it snappy!" Mrs. Weaver yelled.
The students scrambled to write. That period was pandemonium.
Then they went on to Francis Monogram and his award-winning soothing voice. Isabella fell asleep a few times, and she wasn't alone.
Then they went to lunch. "Man, those essays were tiring," Isabella stated.
"I know, right?" Phineas agreed. "I felt like I was writing something pre-scripted, like I was writing a novel already written word for word, unaware that I was doing so. That wouldn't be plagiarism, would it?"
"I don't want to even think about Mrs. Weaver and her class," Balthazar muttered.
"Mrs. Weaver is the kind of person who isn't a mystery when it comes to the heaven or hell conundrum," Fiona claimed.
"Yeah..." Phineas responded. He was puzzled at his own lack of presence when he thought of religion.
They sat down next to Pedro, Calavier, Richy, and Baljeet.
"I have been feeling a lot better today," Baljeet exclaimed.
"Nice," Pedro deadpanned.
"No, really! I have been speaking perfectly well since this morning, except for my every other syllable accent! I can recall words like asset, aglet, quince, and- Oh my goodness! Phalanges! I can't believe I forgot phalanges!" Baljeet exclaimed. "Oh, no, but I'm using co- whatever those word shorts are. Darn it! What's that word?!"
"Contractions?" Calavier tested.
"Dah-arn it! That's what it- Oh no!" Baljeet exclaimed.
"Calm down," Phineas instructed.
While Phineas, Fiona, Balthazar, and Pedro were all distracted by Baljeet, Richy proceeded to make small talk with Isabella.
"Hey, Isabella, right?" Richy started.
"Yep," Isabella responded.
"What's your family work in?" Richy wondered.
"Well, my mom- why?" Isabella questioned.
"It's a big part of life," Richy stated.
"Well, isn't that kind of personal?" Isabella wondered slightly apprehensively.
"The amount of money you make is personal," Richy equivocated.
"Okay, my mom runs a place called Nosh Olé Mexican-Jewish Café," Isabella answered.
"Ah, yeah, business follows my family around. Want a cigarette?" Richy offered.
"What the- no! This is school!" Isabella denied in shock.
"Cafeteria lady's okay with it, see?" Richy pointed.
The cafeteria lady winked at Richy with a smile.
Isabella was flabbergasted.
"I have never had a cigarette and never will," Isabella stated.
Richy broke into laughter. "Beyuf', come over here," he called.
Buford did.
"This girl nerd here is to afwaid to try somthing new," Richy explained.
Buford burst into hard laughter.
"Girly's got the wimp gene. Girly's got the wimp gene," Buford taunted.
"That slur was most despicable," Calavier stated. No one thought he was listening.
"Despick your mom," Richy countered.
"My mother is dead, ragamuffins," Calavier stated harshly.
"Ouch, burn," Buford commented in sarcastic awe.
Richy tried to push Calavier, but he was gone like the wind; Calavier was good at slinking.
"Are you a sissy or not?" Richy asked.
Isabella flashed back to the morning.
"Isabella, remember to go out there and try new things. You never know what you'll find," her mother had reminded.
"Okay, I'll do it, but only once!" Isabella stated firmly.
She lit the cigarette and smoked for the first time.
Meanwhile, Phineas, Fiona, Balthazar, and Pedro were all talking to Baljeet.
"Yeah, I've been- oh! I just used another con- Augh!" Baljeet exclaimed.
"How did this all start?" Pedro wondered.
Baljeet just shrugged his shoulders.
"Oh, I just re- Did you know I can do this?" Baljeet wondered.
"Augh!" Phineas, Fiona, Balthazar, and Pedro all cried in unison.
"Dude, bending your elbow sideways, that is literally the grossest thing I've seen since fourth grade," Balthazar exclaimed.
"I think I'm going to hurl," a green Fiona muttered. "Balthazar! Stop patting me on the back!"
"Oh, sorry! I thought I was helping," Balthazar responded.
"And I can do this!" Baljeet explained.
"Augh! Baljeet! Make it stop!" Pedro exclaimed.
Soon, lunch ended.
Mrs. What's-Her-Face had them do even more tiring exercises, but then, after school, they boarded the bus.
"Finally! What a long day!" Fiona exclaimed.
"Yeah, totally. Thank Monogram it wasn't an utterly painful day," Phineas responded. "So, do you want to come by my house this afternoon and build it?"
"Um-" Balthazar started.
"Sure!" Fiona interjected.
"Isabella, you want to build a clock at my house this afternoon?" Phineas wondered.
"Sure," Isabella deadpanned.
Soon, they were building it.
"Wow, you really do have enormous talent, Phineas," Fiona stated.
Then they looked back to see the clock had disappeared.
"What the h***? Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! My uncle's contagious. Argh!" Fiona grunted. She pulled out her note book and pulled off all of the sticky notes. "260 Days Since Last Profanity" became "0 Days Since Last Profanity".
"This makes no sense. How could-" Balthazar started.
"This happens all the time; don't be surprised," Phineas stated. "Tomorrow we can make that pineapple farm."
"You really want me to eat my words, don't you, Phineas?" Fiona asked with playful mischief in her voice.
"What do you mean?" Phineas wondered.
Balthazar broke into laughter. Isabella just frowned.
I am so sorry this took so long to write. Know the next chapter might not be for a while, because, well, it is very time-consuming. Anyway, thanks to all those who have given me responses. Please review! :-) And, um, eat a homemade honey bun or else. :-þ