My Pet Peeve

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

"Ugh, just turn it off." Hidan had tried reading (not for very long), looking at the wall, stuffing his head under a pillow and, for some reason, sitting upside down. All this and this stupid chat show was still winding him up.

"But I want to know what happens!" Hidan lobbed a pillow at Ino's head. "Don't be a dick."

"Don't you ever go out?" The fact that he also stayed in all day did not go past Ino, who stuck up her middle finger at him. "Don't you have lectures and all that shit?"

"Yes. But mine are usually over by the time you can be bothered to get out of bed, you lazy asshole." Hidan crossed his arms and scowled at her. "And why are you sitting upside down? You look weird."

"I thought this bullshit might look better upside down. I was wrong." It was just as bad upside down. "…Are they punching each other?"

"They've been sleeping with the same guy."

"Fucking stupid people." Watching idiots beat each other up was all well and good but it wore thin very quickly. And Shikamaru was busy doing other things. This was going to be a shitty day.

"Right, fuck this bullshit." Hidan decided that waiting around for Shikamaru to come home was too boring and so he was going to find something to do. "Blonde bitch, let's go do something." Going out alone the other day had been fine since he had gone to see Shikamaru, but he couldn't be bothered with being in the city centre on his own. Too many irritating people.

"Why do I have to come too?"

"You want to watch this bullshit all day?" Ino glanced at the TV; it only took her a couple of seconds to make her decision.

"Ok I'm in."

And soon after that, they had escaped the house and were outside. Hidan wasn't especially keen since Ino wasn't his favourite person, but at least he'd have some company that way.

"What are we going to do then?"

"I barely leave the fucking house, what is there to do?" Everything seemed quite boring and sameish to him.

"Shopping, eating, park, cinema-."

"Not that." This mistake would never be made again.

"Ok… Shopping!" Ino was hopeful. She hadn't been in a while and Hidan was too awkward to leave alone, meaning she'd have company.

"Sounds kind of shit."

"We can do something else afterwards?" She just didn't plan on mentioning that shopping would take a good few hours.

"I didn't say I didn't want to. It's still better than the TV bullshit."

Once they had reached the book shop and Ino began spending half an hour staring at the same bookshelf, whilst Hidan had to stand awkwardly looking at the masses of people, he was not so happy.

"Just pick one fucking book already!" He ended up hissing at her whilst staring suspiciously at all the people walking past.

"I need to think carefully. If you pick something bad, you're stuck with it."

"It's just one book." The glare he received scared even him.

"Don't screw around with me mister. I don't want to buy a shitty novel just because you won't stop whining." Clearly she wasn't going to be moving anytime soon. Ino was just as stubborn as Hidan when she wanted something and so he was aware that there was no point in reasoning with her. All he could do was wait.

It could be argued that this was some kind of karmic retribution for all the times he'd forced Shikamaru into things he didn't like. The shop did have chairs for people who had been dragged into it unwillingly, so he slumped down into one and waited. It was so warm and comfortable that he even forgot he was in the middle of a public place. Falling asleep in the middle of a shop wasn't a great idea but he was too relaxed to care. His body did soon begin to regain consciousness when he realised he was being watched.

Someone was standing very close to him and staring directly at him. This was uncomfortable and hard to ignore. All he knew was that it wasn't Ino; she'd have grabbed him and started shouting.

Slowly Hidan opened his eyes. He'd been right about the closeness but the person was also crouching so that they were at eye level. It was that irritating female who had fallen asleep on their doorstep. Hidan sat up quickly and glared at her whilst his brain tried to process the situation.

"Morning sleepy." She smiled in what was clearly an attempt to look cute; it didn't quite work for Hidan.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"You looked cute sleeping."

"And you looked fucking creepy staring at me." He didn't appreciate the way that she was trying to push her breasts up to get his attention. And that she was flirting despite knowing that he wasn't single.

"Your name's Hidan, right?" The insult had gone straight over her head.

"I don't remember yours." This was funny to her.

"It's Kurotsuchi."

"Great…" Where the fuck is blondie when you want her? She seemed like she'd be able to get rid of her.

"How's the boyfriend?" Her voice went a little frostier at the mention of Shikamaru.

"Fine."

"And how are you?" She stood up and put both hands on the arm on the chair, leaning in close to him as she did.

"Also fine." The tone of voice and scowl didn't seem to be enough for her and so he leant away from her as much as he possibly could whilst sitting down. Her face was way too close for his liking.

"You look very cute." Now she really wasn't fucking around.

"Hn." He looked past her to see if Ino had appeared but there was still no sign of her.

"What do you think of me?"

"That you're an annoying bitch." He was always honest if nothing else. Subtlety wasn't working on her either.

"Kind of harsh."

"Maybe you should be less annoying."

"I can be." For some reason the way to do this was to attempt to jump onto Hidan and force their lips together. As he had used this technique before, he knew what was coming and hopped out of the way, leading her to crash down into the chair. "Hey!"

No way was he waiting for her to regain her balance and so he went off to the last area he had spotted Ino in. She was still browsing and hadn't even picked any books so he grabbed her as he walked past and led her out of the shop, with much complaining.

"What's the matter with you? Are you insane?"

"We're going home."

"You can go by yourself." Looking back he could see that Kurotsuchi was looking for him and started cursing. "What the hell Hidan?"

"That bitch is stalking me." Ino looked to where Hidan was pointing and noticed the weird drunk girl.

"Isn't that the one who thought you were cute?"

"Yes and she just threw herself at me like some kind of whore leech so fucking move."

"Wow she has weird taste."

"Oh fuck off." And now Kurotsuchi had seen him and was heading this way. "Shit."

He grabbed Ino and started pulling her with him. She would be an excellent human shield in an emergency. Even though they were walking quite quickly, she still kept up.

"It seems you have a stalker."

"It's not fucking funny! How do I get rid of her?" Ino was smirking, enjoying the fact that Hidan was getting flustered.

"I don't know. She knows you're taken and she's still interested."

"Because she's fucking insane."

"Hypocrite. Doesn't she live on the same street as us?"

"I don't care!" This did not provide her with an excuse to stalk him.

"And now you know how Shikamaru felt that night." Hidan had not thought of this but now it was in his head, he felt cold.

"…You think he was angry with me?"

"I'd say he was more scared than angry." And that made him feel worse. This wasn't something he wanted to dwell on however, as he needed to get rid of the annoying woman.

"Hey Hidan!" Kurotsuchi had gotten pretty close and he turned and scowled at her. "That was mean, aren't you going to apologise?"

"Only if you fuck off and never talk to me again."

"I don't want to do that."

"Then no. Bitch." And he and Ino went into the house, slamming the door behind them.

"What am I gonna do?" Shikamaru wasn't around and there was a scary girl outside. He was a lot better than he had been before, but he still couldn't deal with things like this on his own.

"You can get rid of her, she's just one person."

"She's fucking creepy." And now she was knocking on the door. He flinched and grabbed the door frame to the kitchen. "Shit. Shit, shit shit!"

"Just calm down! Umm…" Ino had no clue what to do since she'd never dealt with Hidan in one of those moods. Her respect for Shikamaru really increased at this point.

"I hate being so fucking weak."

"You're not weak." She knew something of what had happened and she knew she'd be pretty bad if it were her. "I would be creeped out too."

"Really?" The blonde one was being nice to him. This was a weird occurrence.

"Yes. Now wait here." Something had just occurred to her and she dashed up the stairs giggling. He thought she may have lost it for a second until she returned carrying a water pistol. With a big grin she handed it to him.

"Now go and show that bitch!"

"Hell yes!" They even did a mock salute. Hidan opened the door and leaned round smiling. Foolishly she didn't suspect a thing.

"Come to apologise?"

"Nope. I came to give you something."

"What?" He pulled out the water pistol and began shooting.

"Fuck off you bitch!" Once she had backed off to the gate, he shut the door again.

"Did it work?"

"I think so. Blondie you are a genius."

"Oh I know." Their celebration was only ruined by the door going just minutes later.

"That bitch!"

"You know what to do."

"Oh I do." Hidan didn't even bother looking this time and simply opened the door and began shooting.

"What are you doing?!"

"Ah…" Ino and Hidan stared in silence at Shikamaru who was currently dripping with water. His eyebrow was twitching, a sure sign that he was irritated.

"Is there an explanation for this? Anything at all?"

"The bitch from across the road is stalking me."

"You mean black haired girl?"

"Yeah."

"Oh… Well that's ok… But next time check who's at the sodding door!"

"Sorry Shika…"

"Yeah, sorry…"