My Pet Peeve

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

…When did he get that? This thought passed vaguely through his head as he saw Hidan walk past the doorway holding a nerf gun. It shouldn't have been a surprise to Shikamaru since none of the things that happened around here made sense.

Like the fact that Hidan had acquired a stalker, even though he rarely left the house. Said stalker was currently outside, judging from the way that Hidan was going out the front door and shouting insults. Kurotsuchi was quite determined to bother him, although why she thought the guy would be interested, he didn't know.

One benefit to this was that Hidan and Ino seemed to be getting along better since they had dealt with her the first time. Apparently they enjoyed thinking up ways to fuck with people. Probably this was where he had managed to acquire his new gun. She had a lot of weird shit up in her room. There was also another unexpected benefit, in that rather than getting worse, Hidan had become way more confident.

"I got her on the fucking forehead!" Hidan was currently holding the gun up in the air in a winning pose and grinning at his small boyfriend.

"Good for you." Hidan was so pleased with himself, he got careless and somehow managed to shoot himself in the face.

"Fuck!" He threw the gun on to the ground and started rubbing his cheek where the missile had hit.

"How did you even manage that?" The angling was incredible.

"I don't know! I'm a dumbass!" With the pout he was doing, he looked quite adorable. Although telling him this would probably result in an overly inflated ego.

"Is she gone?"

"Yup. Why doesn't she get it? Fucking idiot." Hidan was the last person who could be calling anyone stupid.

"She'll probably get bored eventually. Or find an interest in someone else." He just hoped this happened before the psychopath decided to kill her and bury her under the floorboards.

"She better." Hidan dropped into a chair on the other side of the table, head in his hands. Although dealing with it well, this still tired him out. Shikamaru chose to leave him to it and continued to skim read the textbook in front of him. The thing was tedious but it wasn't like he had anything better to do. Until he felt that strange, spine-tingling sensation you get when being stared at.

Hidan seemed to be considering something, judging from the way that his head was tilted on one side and his eyes were narrowed. The brunette sighed and crossed his arms, waiting for the inevitable question that would come.

"Shika?" As expected.

"Yes?" It must have been something deep to have him pausing like that.

"…You… Err… Remember that night we first met?"

"How could I forget?" Particularly the idiocy Hidan had shown in not wearing clothes. It was funnier now he knew the man a little better.

"Well…" The guy wasn't known for being articulate and so it was no surprise that he was struggling to work out what he wanted to say. "Were you creeped out by me?"

"What parts of you? The staring or the stalking?" Both of these things would have been bad enough but both together had combined to make him fear for his life.

"Both…" Hidan had missed the sarcastic, half-jokey tone.

"Well I guess? It's not like it's a pleasant experience." The other boy's face fell. "And then I thought you were a moron because you couldn't hold a sodding umbrella. That was more annoying than anything else."

"…So you were more annoyed by me not using an umbrella?" If anything this made him more confused.

"Basically."

"…You really are fucking weird."

"Like you can talk. You were like a zombie that night." He knew it was probably because it he was traumatised but still.

"I was tired, homeless and wet. And I never did shit for myself; I didn't have a fucking clue what to do with my life." Hidan was taking this very seriously and Shikamaru regretted trying to be casual about this.

"I wasn't angry with you. If anything I was worried that you had escaped from some kind of mental hospital." He'd never admitted this to him, firstly for fear of offending, secondly because he'd later found out what had happened.

"Hey! What an asshole!" This was more like his usual self. "Thought I'd say it's good that you didn't try to send me back."

"Indeed." I don't like that smirk he's doing. That is never a good sign.

"Were you planning on taking advantage of me? You sick asshole." If anything, the fact that Shikamaru glared at him just made things worse. "I am gonna teach you a lesson."

"Don't break anything."

"Except for you right?" Shikamaru didn't even look up from the book. "Hey! Where's the comeback you asshole?!"

"What do you want?"

"Usually you'd say something like 'you're sleeping on the floor tonight'."

"You want me to say that kind of thing?" He'd assumed that the guy disliked being constantly insulted.

"I thought that was how the relationship worked." …Wow, we are fucked. This did mean Hidan wasn't offended.

"You two are so weird together. Can't you be nicer to your adorable boyfriend?" And Ino had heard the whole conversation. And she was taking Hidan's side. Not a surprise but still annoying.

"Shika's always a dick. It's funny."

"Wow you are accepting. Though I guess he puts up with your mood swings." Hidan pulled her ponytail down. "Ow!"

"I don't have moods! Screw you!"

Shikamaru chose not to get involved in this, preferring to let them deal with each other. He couldn't get back into the book though, because something was seriously bothering him. And he wasn't sure he liked it.

He was kind of cold with Hidan; he wasn't shy, just awkward. This had never been a problem before. Before Hidan anyway. The longer he knew him, the worse he felt about acting that way. It wasn't like he could just stop being who he was. And Hidan seemed to accept him. A few times he had been annoyed by the lack of intimacy, but not recently. He hoped.

Because in spite of his many problems, Hidan wasn't exactly unattractive. And he was interesting to be around. Shikamaru knew this. He also knew that the same didn't apply to him. He was average in every possible way. Except for his intelligence, something he didn't care much for.

And Hidan had become a lot more confident recently. He was more talkative with some of Shikamaru's friends, and he even had less of a problem with women than he had had after Kakuzu and Yugito. And so Shikamaru spent most of his time terrified that Hidan would find someone better and leave him.

As much as he tried to tell himself that Hidan loved him and clearly wouldn't just go because he had some confidence, he couldn't stop thinking these stupid thoughts. He didn't want to be without the little psycho; even if he did cause him a lot of trouble.

I think I'm the one who needs him… He could appreciate how Hidan had felt in the early days. Hidan who was currently grinning at Ino which annoyed her. He knew he should be happy that he was getting on with someone else but he couldn't be.

And now I'm a jealous asshole. Fantastic. He stood up and left the room, glancing back to confirm that yes, neither of them had noticed him leaving. This just made him irritated, as well as upset.

Upstairs he scowled at the wall, trying to rid himself of these incredibly troublesome thoughts. They were effort he didn't need and he wanted to shut them out. As per usual, they continued to merrily insult him. So much so that he threw the book across the room. Hard. Needlessly satisfying. It made up for the fact that his boyfriend had forgotten him. He'd assumed this anyway.

"You got a headache, right?" Shikamaru practically jumped at this unexpected speech from the direction of the door. Hidan was peering round it and staring at him.

"Basically." Not that he would tell him the cause.

"Thought so. As long as you're not pissed off at me."

"Why would I be?"

"I suck at reading people, anything could set you off and I wouldn't have a fucking clue." He sighed and then smiled at him. "But if you ain't pissed at me, I'm glad."

"Ok…" And now I feel bad. Hidan obviously cared and he was doubting him. And acting jealous over him socialising. It seemed he had a serious problem.

"You want me to let you sleep and all that?" Don't be so nice!

"No it's fine. I just wanted to lie down." To illustrate this point he lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. This was soon covered by Hidan squinting at him.

"You're being weird."

"You're imagining things." He couldn't have noticed. He was much too dense for that.

"You are. You're all offy. You're sure you're not pissed off at me?"

"Yes!" Although I sound like I am now. Internally he cursed at himself for being such an ass to the person he loved.

"No need to be a dick." And now he sat down next to him and started stroking his hair. It was pleasant, apart from the way he was being looked at. Hidan was being quite gentle with him and the kind gesture made him feel like more of a jerk.

"What's this for?" Aside from guilt-tripping me.

"I'm making you feel better. Twat." The insult was added as an afterthought. It would be too soppy without one.

"Thanks?"

"Poor Shika." He lay down next to him and pushed himself against him. "How's this?"

"Good?" If Hidan liked it, he'd do it. Right now he'd go along with anything the guy wanted. Because it would mean the guy would stay. He hoped.

"Thank fuck. Because I can't be arsed to move."

"Well don't I feel loved…"