My Pet Peeve

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

"Are you sleeping by the front door again?" The shrill voice of his housemate roused him from his slumber and he slowly opened his eyes to glare.

"What do you think?" Shikamaru sat up. He'd been lying on his duvet in the hall, fully clothed.

"He hasn't been home at all so you may as well just go to bed." Ino made a good point. Of course she did. But he didn't want to go to bed or relax. It was hard to do either. And if Hidan tried to sneak in and out without being noticed, Shikamaru would be more likely to catch him if he were by the door.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because my lunatic boyfriend has been missing for three days?" If anyone went missing for 24 hours it was worrying enough but three days felt like an age. Anything could have happened.

"Phone the police then, let them look for him." That would have been the normal reaction to something like this.

"I can't do that. I'm pretty sure he'd be pissed at me." Hidan had had an unusual life after all and so he would probably not appreciate being drawn to the attention of the police at all.

"He's probably fine you know. He's just calming down. You did really piss him off."

"Yes. I know." Shikamaru was aware that he'd been a moron, he didn't need any reminders. When Hidan hadn't returned that night he'd been concerned. But then he'd thought, the man is an adult and not what he used to be. Plus he had left of his own volition.

And now he was terrified. Because Hidan may never come back. That was what had happened with him and Kakuzu. Obviously Shikamaru hadn't thrown him out in the same way but he was still scared. He'd only have himself to blame too. Shikamaru stood up and stretched.

"I might go for a walk."

"Try places with food. He may be scrounging." And as expected, she'd seen his real motive straightaway.

"I shall…"

As usual, Shikamaru went the same route. He walked along the streets and areas where he and Hidan usually went. In particular, he found himself hanging about by the corner they had first met. He'd been so creeped out by seeing this guy sitting there but now he'd give anything to find him there again.

I am such a moron… He couldn't believe he had done that. Well, he could. He was a socially awkward being. Add to this the fact that his boyfriend was even worse, and it was a surprise this hadn't happened earlier.

Eventually he made his way towards Naruto's house. Not much there but he could ask if they'd seen him. It gave him something to do at least. Gaara opened the door, took one look at him and stood aside.

"Go and eat something and stop looking so depressed." From Gaara this could be translated to 'I'm kind of worried about you'.

"Thanks Gaara." When he entered the kitchen, Naruto and Sasuke went silent. "…Something wrong?"

"No! Just discussing… private stuff." Naruto was a terrible liar but he chose to ignore it. The pity got kind of troublesome after a while.

"I thought I'd ask you for a few lecture notes since I haven't been for a few days."

"I haven't either."

"I am not surprised…"

"…Have you heard from him?"

"No."

"Just give him a bit more time, he'll show up."

"Maybe." Naruto was always overly optimistic when it came to these kinds of things. At this point Kiba emerged from his den and stumbled to the fridge. "I'm not gonna bother asking him."

"I would complain but it's true." Kiba shrugged and started grabbing food.

"…I'm gonna go back out."

"You're sure? You don't want anything?"

"I'm sure." He felt too restless to sit around for long.

Once he had left, Kiba, who had been waiting by the fridge, sighed. He then made his way up to his room. It was kind of messy right now but he never paid much attention. Sitting down on the bed, he threw a packet of crisps across the room.

"You're kind of a coward."

"Fuck you." Hidan yanked the cupboard door open and glared at Kiba, grabbing the food as he did.

"You could just talk to him."

"I told you I don't feel like it." Plus he was kind of scared too. As this confirmed what Kiba had just said, he wasn't going to voice this part.

"Well how long are you gonna hide here? Shika's gonna be pissed when he finds out."

"Who are you more scared of, him or me?"

"…Good point."

When Hidan had left the house, he'd been in a foul mood. A mood worsened by the rain starting. He'd been cold, wet, angry and upset. And it was while he was wandering the streets and working out what he was going to do that he had sighted Kiba. The guy had asked him to come back to theirs whilst it was raining. Three days later and he was still here.

Naruto was the only other person who knew he was there. Ok, it was a dick move but he just couldn't bring himself to talk to Shikamaru. He'd heard him come round whenever he did and he knew he was looking for him.

This made him feel a mixture of emotions. It was nice to know that he cared enough to actually go looking for him, but at the same time he was stubborn as hell. If Shikamaru had a problem he should have told him about it. But instead, he had pretended nothing was wrong. And so Hidan was punishing him by avoiding him. Not to mention the fact that he knew he'd reacted a little over the top. It was hard to face someone after you'd exploded at them. He sighed and laid face down on the bed.

"Are you gonna leave me any space on my own bed?" He lifted up a middle finger in Kiba's approximate direction. "Well fuck you too."

Kiba had always seemed like kind of a useless moron to him but as he'd been nice enough to let him hide in his room, Hidan had grudgingly admitted to himself that perhaps the guy wasn't so bad. He wasn't as interesting to bother as Shikamaru. Before he'd gone all weird anyway… Hidan sighed and scowled in to the pillow.

"If you're really depressed just talk to him." This was the same thing Kiba had been telling him for days.

"I can't!" And now he was whining.

"Oh for-. Why the fuck not?"

"Because I'm too fucking awkward!" This was really the reason.

"Then write it down!" Kiba hissed this at him and threw a pad of paper and a pen. "Use that." And then he turned round to focus on the already late piece of work.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?" He hated writing. It sucked.

"Just write down what you want to tell him. I don't know! I'm not your psychiatrist!"

"That's a stupid idea."

"Well it's not like you're doing so fucking well on your own!"

"Screw you!" And they went back to ignoring each other. This was the basic pattern of all their conversations.

Hidan huffed and pulled the notebook over. It wasn't like he had anything better to do with his time. And he could think up some fun insults. Pineapple haired fuckwit was a particular favourite. As was apathetic asshole. But after a while he figured he may as well write out something else. Maybe then his brain might be able to process all of the shit flying around inside of it.

You're a dumbass. You're too fucking awkward! Only I'm allowed to be that awkward! You don't trust me enough. You lied to my face. You nag too much. You keep looking for me even though I clearly don't want to talk to you. And you make me worry about you! And I fucking love you, you apathetic, awkward, moronic sack of pineapple shit.

The last part had been kind of jumbled but he'd made his point. And then he threw the book over at Kiba.

"Ow! What the fuck?" He rubbed the back of his head and glared. "I'm working!"

"I did what you told me to do!" He pointed at the book. Kiba simply resigned himself to the fact that this work may never be done (he and Hidan had played a lot of video games in the past few days… and drank a lot), and picked up the book. After skimming through it, he raised an eyebrow.

"…Pineapple shit?"

"Pineapple hair and sack of shit combined I think."

"Oh… You really need to talk to him. Because you are driving me up the fucking wall!"

"Same to you asswipe!"

"Why are you still here then?! Go already!"

"I will!" And after only a moment's hesitation, he grabbed his shoes and jacket and stormed out.

There wasn't much point in hesitating now. Kiba would probably say something to Shikamaru if he changed his mind. After letting out a loud, frustrated wail, he loudly stormed down the stairs and out of the house.

He wasn't sure where Shikamaru would be. Either still off looking for him or back at the house moping. There was a grim satisfaction that he got from seeing Shikamaru moping. It proved that no matter how cold he acted, he did definitely care about him. It was with this in mind that he headed to the house. Better to get there now before he changed his mind and tried to go back.

At least it wasn't fucking raining like last time. He'd had enough of rain. On the way to the house, he paused. If he took a detour, he could pass the place where they had first met. He wasn't that sentimental…Well, ok, he could be. Shikamaru though… he might go there. Thinking this, he headed in that direction.

It was all as it had been that night. Same depressing street, stupid bins, smell of overfull gutters. The difference was that Shikamaru was the one waiting there. It took him by surprise. Although feeling a little cowardly, Hidan slowly walked over, shuffling until he was next to the short one. Shikamaru froze up.

"..Hi."

"You look like a hooker or a drug dealer standing there." That hadn't been what he'd planned to say, but it had been what had come out.

"…I missed you too."

"Too fucking right you did." They stood in silence, staring down the street.

"Where were you?"

"Narnia."

"…"

"…It involved a fucking cupboard."

"Why am I not surprised?" He seemed to be a claustrophobe. "…Do you want to go home?"

"Obviously. You better fucking tell me what all that bullshit was about when we get back though."

"Fair enough." He went to step off but Hidan grabbed him by the shoulder, spun him round and kissed him. Then he scowled at him with those intense violet eyes.

"I fucking love you, you piece of shit."

"I love you too..."