"Oh no," Kurt demanded, pointing at the notepad in his therapist's hand, "put that away. This isn't going to be one of those sessions. There will be no psycho-analysis of Kurt today."

"Then what sort of session is this going to be, Kurt?" Jessica Thompson responded with ease, even as she set her writing apparatus aside. "You know this means I'm going to be recording this right?" she pointed out, picking up and waving her voice recorder in his direction.

Kurt frowned at the inconspicuous black device before shrugging. "As long as I have all your attention on me and not on my so called issues," he stated, before rummaging through his messenger bag while she did her introductory remarks for the session, identifying the date, his name and all those other miscellaneous things Kurt always found irrelevant.

"So it seems to me," she began, when Kurt finally settled down with a binder in his lap, "you have a plan for this session."

"Didn't I say that?" Kurt asked, before knocking the binder with his knuckles. "As much as I despise this place, and mildly less you, I need your help."

The woman showed no outward reaction to the subtle insult Kurt threw her way. She had gotten used to it after all this time together, and frankly, she knew that there was little truth behind the barbs anymore. It was more habit than anything for the young man, a method for him to ensure that he retained some semblance of control during their interactions.

"What shall we focus on?"

"My future."

"That is a broad topic," she acknowledged. "Let's narrow it down. Are we looking at your short term or long term goals?"

Kurt huffed, shooting her a mildly irritated look. "Must you always get so technical? I mean college okay? I want to talk about college and my options."

"You've decided against deferring then."

Kurt openly glared at her this time. "That whole stay in this stink-hole town for a year was you and Anthony's idea," he told her firmly, referring to his physical therapist.

"One that you had been seriously considering," she returned.

He was silent for a moment, thinking, she knew. He never did like when she placed responsibility solely on him. He preferred to put agency for difficult or uncomfortable positions onto others, so that he could insist that he was not solely responsible for any consequences, good or bad.

"You had acknowledged the benefits of remaining," she continued.

"I want to be with Blaine," he snapped, "that's most important."

"Have you mentioned it to him? Did he disapprove of you remaining here?"

"Oh no," he said defensively, "we are not going to go down that "Kurt you're too dependent on Blaine" road right now."

"I wasn't," she told him, raising a placating hand. "Indeed, I don't believe we've spoken about that for a good few months now."

It had been an issue for him at one point, a deeply profound one. Kurt had latched onto Blaine Anderson as a life-line, using his classmate turned boyfriend as a buffer against the world. At first it had been a healthy dependency. Mr. Anderson often played a part in any significant milestones Kurt achieved, including lessening the severity of his disdain for his body, boosting his confidence, and even, to a certain degree, motivating him to return to his musical roots. But, that dependency had quickly, in her opinion, descended into the realms of near obsession, most evident when Mr. Anderson moved to New York.

She did not need to re-read her notes on the subject in front of her to recall the way he had all but fallen apart in the aftermath of that. He had questioned everything, his abilities, his reason for trying... The list was quite extensive. She recalled sessions when Kurt would sit on that same couch and sob, questioning his value and wondering how long it would take his boyfriend to realise there were 'better' persons out there for him, and that he need not waste his time on invalids. There were days when he walked the room, micro-picking every action his boyfriend did, from him not calling at a promised time, to him needed to end a Skype session early as possible signs of an end to their relationship.

And that time when Mr. Anderson had confessed to perceived infidelity...now that had been a rather emotional session that surprisingly had led to a breakthrough with her client. Kurt had channelled his hurt and confusion into his hobbies, and his success in that, coupled with his resolution of the issue with his boyfriend, had changed his self-opinion, showing him that he had value in his own right. The shattered image of his 'perfect' boyfriend showed him that Blaine indeed, was not some perfect concept, but was simply a regular teenager like him who had his own insecurities and issues. That realisation seemed to have imbued the young adult in front of her with confidence and strength, and it had continued building since then.

"Did he disapprove?" she repeated, when Kurt remained silent.

"He...he hasn't said much on the matter," Kurt admitted. "I did kind of just hurl it at him, but outside of him telling me it was my choice, he hasn't brought it up."

"But you know what he prefers?"

Kurt shrugged. "Blaine wants me in New York with him, but he would support me if I wanted to stay. Not that I want to," he added, "but he would accept it. But that's really a non-issue because I don't want to stay here."

"Why?" she inquired, keeping her tone neutral.

"I've lost so much already here," he said, setting aside his binder and rising. She didn't question as he walked to the window and parted the blinds to look out. "You would think that I would love this state, my town. It's where I was born after all, but I've suffered so much here. My family is the only good thing Lima has ever given me, but it's heaped me with so much hurt, so much pain. I lost my mom here, I lost friends here. I've been bullied so much. I've both found and lost my passions and dreams here. I'm standing in a shrink's office talking to you because of people in this damn town. If I hadn't been spending most of my time in Westerville these past three years, I think I would have gone crazy long ago.

"Dalton's showed me how horrible Lima has been to me and how judgemental the people are. I've experienced a world of unequivocal love and acceptance. Tolerance and care. I've found a place where I am not judged simply for being me, and out there I can find such a place again. If I stay here for a year doing nothing, the only kind faces I'm going to have are my parents and I don't want that. I refuse to have that.

"So I'm going. Even if I had only been accepted into the local colleges I would have left. I can find new therapists in New York. I can start over there...or rather, continue there. To stay in Ohio would be me stepping back into the past and I just can't do that anymore. So no, I'm leaving. Not just because I want to be with Blaine I guess. Not just because he wants me to be with him. I'm leaving because it's the best move I can make for me."

Jessica nodded, even though he could not see her gesture, and personally, she felt a bit of pride for the young adult still perusing the outside world. That eloquent speech of his spoke wonders of the growth he had experienced in the time she had come to know him.

"I have no choice but to accept that decision then," she told him instead. "I will have my secretary search for suitable New York based offices for you."

He turned, arching a brow at her. "Just like that? No protests?"

"You seem firm in this decision," she said. "My role is not to guide your actions Kurt, but to ensure that you control your life in the safest manner for you."

"Oh," he retorted. "Good, I mean. Cuz I wasn't going to listen to you anyway."

Wisely, she kept her amusement at his words hidden away. Kurt looked outside again for a minute or so, and she allowed him the time, using it to sip at her glass of water. He was organising his thoughts. She would grant him the leeway to do so.

"Do you have to sit over there?" he inquired, turning her way.

"Where do you want me?"

"Join me on the couch?" he requested, moving back to it. "It'll be easier to go through this with you."

She nodded in acceptance, and, collecting the recorder, shortly sat on the leather couch beside him.

"I got into six of the seven schools I applied for," he told her, opening the binder.

The first page consisted of a two column table, schools in one column and Xs or ticks in the second.

"What does this column mean?" she asked, lightly fingering the second one.

He huffed lightly, and she took it as him being irritated by the rather pointless question. Even without it being titled, she could fairly easily deduce the contents.

"The ticks are for the schools I'm considering attending."

"New York University, Columbia University and...NYADA," she noted, unable to keep her surprise entirely out of her voice.

"I know right," he said with a snort. "I can't believe I got in."

"I'm a bit surprised you are considering it," she admitted, briefly meeting his gaze.

He shrugged and then sighed. "I thought it was clear cut, you know? I just wanted to get into a New York school so I could be with Blaine. And now I've gotten into three of them, NYU including, so you'd think this would be easy huh? NYU has Blaine. What more do I want?"

He turned the page then, showing a more chaotic table. It was a pros and cons list, she noted, one for each school. Indeed, at the top of the column for NYU was indeed the name Blaine, written in bold colours with a heart drawn beside it.

"Then why isn't it easy?" she inquired.

"Because isn't it kind of stupid to answer the "Why did you choose NYU?" question with "Because my boyfriend is there"?"

"Is that the sole reason?" she asked, not responding to his question.

Kurt groaned, tossing his head back against the couch. "This is why I'm here Jessica," he told her. "It was the motivator, and hell, if I'd only gotten into there I wouldn't have this issue. But now...now I actually have to think."

"Let's look at what you have listed for each," she offered. "Maybe if we go through it together, you may have a bit more clarity."

"Which is why I'm here," he quipped. "You're the only one who has absolutely no agenda in this."

"Oh?"

"Blaine's preference would be NYU, obviously. Finn wants that as well because Blaine would have more access to me. I don't think my parents are all too keen that NYADA accepted me, and I...I don't really know what I anymore. Besides...the offers for each are actually kind of...compelling."

"I'm glad you're looking at your choices from a more holistic approach."

"Yeah, you're just glad I'm not going to take my co-dependency to the next level," he griped.

Jessica wisely remained silent. She knew that Kurt believed that she judged his relationship negatively, and that she would have preferred if he was not so entangled with Blaine. It wasn't entirely the case, but Kurt had never changed his viewpoint on her stance, and often turned defensive whenever his name came up in discussions.

Which one do you want to start with?" she inquired instead, diverting his attention.

"Columbia."

"Okay."

"It's higher ranked than NYU," he informed her, not even looking at the binder closely anymore. It was obvious that he really had been wrangling with this for at least a few days now. "A lot of people end up enrolled in NYU after being rejected from there. NYU's a top notch school though."

"It is," she agreed. "They're both fine institutions."

"I don't really need to worry about financing," Kurt told her honestly, "given the compensation we got after the lawsuit against the school district. But for what it counts, I've gotten partial scholarships from both schools. NYU's a better offer, but like I said, I don't have to put too much weight onto that."

"Okay," she said simply, not wanting to colour his thoughts with her words just yet.

"Finn also got into NYU," he continued, "and a few of my classmates are considering taking spots there as well, so I won't be alone. But then again, I'd have people in Columbia as well, and I will be living with Blaine regardless so it's not like I should be placing too much weight on that...but...it'd be nice not to be alone."

"Shall we consider the programmes then?" she asked, not pointing out to him that he was basically going back and forth between Columbia and NYU. Was that the contention for him, she wondered.

"Columbia took me in for Journalism and Fashion," he explained. "NYU accepted me into the English department but I can specialise in Writing for Journalistic Purposes after my second year. I can also take enough electives in Fashion for it to count as a minor.

"Columbia has a lot more internship opportunities though from the second year onwards. They've even got connections for . In the third year the top percentile students of the programme are automatically assigned to the school's newspaper, so that by the time you graduate you have enough working experience to get into the field almost immediately."

"That is a great plus."

"It would be."

She glanced at his face when he did not speak further, and saw that his gaze was now on the NYADA column.

"Do you want to talk about it now?" she inquired.

"I didn't even apply," he said, in a soft, slightly distracted voice. His finger brushed down the column and he tapped his fingers over the deeply underlined sentence "Rachel did this."

"Rachel Berry?" she deduced. It was a name that had cropped up several times in the run-up to his Regional performance. At one point they had been 'frenemies' – Kurt's term. They had a seemingly love/hate relationship. She was the reason he had settled upon joining a glee club initially, but, shortly after that, animosity became the order of the day. Things had resettled between them after she became his brother's girlfriend, but an altercation had ended that.

"Does the fact that she applied on your behalf play a role in you not wanting to accept the offer."

"I should have refused the audition for that alone," Kurt retorted with a snort. "Who the hell does she feel she is? She just can't going around meddling in people's lives like this. I told her I didn't want to apply...that I had a new passion, and she couldn't respect that fact. If I do this, she'll be telling me "I told you so" for the rest of my life."

"So why did you audition?"

Kurt's glare this time around was even more severe, but she just shot him an expectant look. As expected, he released his annoyance within seconds, settling on a disgruntled look before he turned away, pointedly shifting further away from her. "It was an irrational decision," he stated, "and it's not like I expected to get in. I didn't even prepare for it properly. I told you that."

"But you performed excellently regardless. And you did not have to prepare much I would assume. The amount of work you've put in with your club means that you would have had songs at your disposal."

"Stop being logical," he snapped. "I auditioned because I was curious."

"About?"

"Why I had made it so far," he stated, a bit softer now. "I wanted to know what Rachel had done to make it stand out from the rest."

"And what made it?"

Kurt did not answer immediately, instead twisting his features and biting on his lips. "She filled out the application form and submitted it together with a performance I did. The performance is what got the attention. That meant that they weren't curious because of the circumstances of my application. They were curious about me."

"And that made it acceptable for you to move forward with the interview process?"

"Yes. It wasn't simply because of Rachel anymore. She started the process, but I completed it, you know?"

"Understandable."

"They accepted me as a general student," Kurt explained, "so I wouldn't have to fall into a specialised area until my sophomore year."

"General students tend to have a lot of freedom with their course choices," she informed him, "you would not have any restrictions, discipline wise."

"Exactly," he agreed. "It's a good offer."

Jessica looked back to the binder, frowning slightly when she took in a last pro scribbled in near the bottom of the place. "Dual?" she said, inquiringly.

"Back when I auditioned, Madame Tibedeaux told me that NYADA has partner programmes with other universities. Columbia is one of those schools."

"What does that mean for you?"

Kurt set aside the binder and stood, walking to where she kept refreshments. She watched patiently as he deliberately poured himself a glass and drained it.

"I'm really good at English," he said, disregarding her question, "and I enjoyed my classes with Mr. Kentwood the most, and not only because Blaine was in it," he added, turning to give her a brief, though slightly troubled smile. "When Blaine was worrying over his applications, I found myself thinking about it too, about what I would be applying to when my turn came. Blaine wasn't too sure what he wanted. He loves music and performing, but he wasn't sure he could see himself pursuing that as a career. He decided to study business, although now I think he's planning on seeing if he can throw in a couple of music courses into the mix.

"Watching Blaine, I realised that I had no idea what I wanted to do...well besides follow him to New York. He didn't even need to ask me to consider it; I would have anyway. And so I had a plan. I would study in New York, but I had no idea what. Becoming an actor was out...that's what I told myself then, so what was left for me to do? Fashion? I loved fashion as much as I did music, but, once again I wasn't sure I could do it. I had wanted to be a fashion designer after all, but I just don't have the talent for drawing with this hand. A minor issue I know, there's graphic designing, but I latched onto that as a reason for why I couldn't do that. I never did come to a decision until it was my time to start applying and I started searching, actually searching and I realised that there was both the theoretical and practical side to Fashion degrees and it could be paired in a way that I could actual become a part of it. That's when I settled upon journalism. If I couldn't be a designer, I could aim to become a fashion journalist. I'm good at English, I told myself, and Fashion was always my second love. I had my answer. I'd study in New York and then I'd take the fashion world by storm.

"And then I had that talk with Madame Tibedeaux, and though I put it out of my mind, it's all coming back to me now. There's room for the differently abled in the performance world now. I can perform. I've proven that countless times over the past few months, and what's more is that I love performing. I always had. I was afraid of it, but I love it again. The sight of the crowd doesn't petrify me, it emboldens me. I relished in the effect I had on people during the Acapella finals; I loved knowing that my voice could move them to tears. I realise now that I still love the stage...I never lost that love for it. It was just hidden away amidst all my fears."

"So you want to go to NYADA?"

"Do I dare?" he asked her with a bitter laugh. "Should I go with what I've always loved, or should I settle on the new dream I've made for myself. With journalism I'm guaranteed future success as long as I am willing to put in the time and effort. And I am. But if I choose NYADA, despite what she said, I know it'll be an uphill battle. I'm not delusional. I know that my arm will put me at a disadvantage; that even if I go through with NYADA's schooling, actually finding roles that could be adapted to me, or finding people willing to cast me in spite of this arm will be difficult. It'd be such a great leap of faith that I'm not sure I should bother taking it. Should I dare to dream or just choose to live within my means?"

"Which brought you here today," she deduced.

"Exactly," Kurt told her, and walking back over, he took up the binder before sitting. "Is it wrong of me to be scared to take a risk?"

"Do you think it is wrong?"

"I'm not sure. There's nothing wrong with being logical in my choice. My dad told me to try to imagine myself ten years into the future as a performer or as a journalist, and to decide which one made me feel happier or more fulfilled."

"And what was the result of it?"

Kurt laughed. "I couldn't decide," he admitted. "If I were a journalist for a big magazine like Vogue, trust me I would be ecstatic. And if I were a Broadway actor? That would be amazing. I know I can be happy with any decision I make...that's why I have "dual" written there."

"Oh?"

He ran his finger over the word. "Can you ever see yourself making a choice that's bound to bring you hardship? That's going to tax you and test all your limits?"

"I think we all have such a choice to make eventually," she offered.

"Yeah, but if there is an easier way, would you take it or decide to gamble it all for a bigger reward?"

"Sometimes you have to put everything on the line. All or nothing."

"I like that," he told her. "And that's where this comes in. I love fashion. I love performing. I can't be a designer, and I'm not guaranteed success as an actor. But I can be a writer, and writers write about everything. So if I am not guaranteed success as a performer or a designer, there's one thing I can do."

"Write about it," she deduced.

"Exactly," he said, "I can be a journalist, a critic. For fashion or Broadway."

"So you're going to go the Journalism route? And you'll combine it with what you love."

Kurt nodded. "If I can find a way."

"And the school you'll matriculate into?"

"Is still the question up in the air."