Citadel
Tiberius Tower

Shepard exited the elevator, a tray of finger size snacks in hand. The lilting melody of pipes, string instruments and the low hum of conversation floated in the air. Rounding the corner of a flower bed bursting in a riot of colours, she came upon the group of dancers gliding and flitting, graceful as a troupe of bellarinas. A dance of complex steps and movement that gathered and break like surging waves involving participants and spectators alike. She often wondered how they all managed it without crashing into and tripping over one another. Perhaps it was something they learned in school.

She added her tray to a food laden table and wondered where was Liara. The crowd shifted helpfully. She saw her bondmate in the midst of other asari with children, smiling and talking animatedly as she showed off Delenn. That was a decidedly odd and yet pleasant sight to Shepard. From a far secluded corner, Shiala caught her eye, smiled and lifted her glass in greeting. Half covered by the twining stems of flowering plants, wearing a suit that covered her arms, dark glasses covering her eyes, Miona gave a little wave. They looked at ease and so they should.

It had been a very long protracted discussion with Shiala the previous night. It was a relief to learn she had come to terms with her act on Feros and was ready to move on. Better yet that she was making plans to further her studies and help with the recovery of Thessia. Neither was she adverse to mentoring Miona and helping her to settle down.

The changeling herself had decided to accept the offer of sanctuary. They would both settle at the T'Soni estate at Kelice. It would be a risk with Miona so close to the family but after a lengthy debate which also involved Miona herself, they decided they would form a cohesive unit to better facilitate Miona's integration. A decision that brought a bout of tears from the changeling who was more than ready for a quiet life. She would decide on her calling and pick up the study courses she wanted after a period of rest.

One thing that stood out rather clear to Shiala and Shepard. The link between them was solid. Neither of them wanted to act on it however; they'd rather leave it alone and formed the foundation of friendship. Whatever would happen in the years to come, they would come to terms with it. Liara had as much indicated her support. There would be no conflict. With two questions settled, Shepard was more than ready to tackle more.

Sweeping her gaze around, she spotted the figure standing alone, off to the right. There was no mistaking that trim figure, despite Hannah being out of uniform. She wondered what her mother was thinking as she walked over to her. It was a pleasant interlude over the past weeks. Although Chakwas confirmed that she made a full recovery, Hannah's manner was quiet and slightly reserved. She couldn't tell if their presently amiable association would revert to the towers of ice. She automatically tugged at her own tunic, resisted the urge to check that her trousers were sharply creased as she joined Hannah at the balcony.

Tiberius Towers was not the highest structure but it offered a panoramic view of the ward nevertheless. Tall buildings reared towards the sky. Unlike planetary cities, the gargantuan bulk of the ward arms loomed overhead, spread like a half opened flower against the clouds of the Serpent Nebula. If one knew where to look and looked hard enough, they could see the silhouettes of the nearest Citadel Defense units in the 'mist'. The other four wards were dark. A contrast against the bustling Silversun Strip. Lights from skycars flowing and flitting like fiery beetles.

Hannah broke the silence. "Have you decided?"

"On?"

"Staying in or resigning?"

"There's still a lot to do out there. Get rid of one lot of weeds, another lot springs in."

"You're ready for it?"

With some surprise, Shepard heard the naked concern. "Six years of chilling kicked some of the wobbles. Did some thinking, tried to climb out of the well. Of course I need some help. Didn't go to pieces on the recent run. That's a good sign. I've got it from a reliable source that I'll only continue to improve."

"I thought-," Hannah hesitated, "that you'd want to get out, stay with your bondmate and the baby."

At least she's using the right term and not spitting it out as if it tasted bad.

"That's what we thought too but we made that decision when we were not at our best. We talked about it. Liara's decided she wants to continue her studies. I'm more comfortable on the command deck and doing what I'm good at."

"What about the child?"

What about Delenn? Shepard was puzzled. Did Hannah think Liara wouldn't take care of the baby?

"Delenn stays with Liara of course. I'll see her when I'm on leave. If Liara has to be somewhere, there're plenty of babysitters in the clan."

That was one aspect of the asari she liked very much; children were precious to them. Although there were many orphaned by the Reaper War, they were swiftly returned to their respective clans or adopted when the war ended.

Hannah nodded. "I envy you."

After gaping at her mother in astonishment, Shepard found her voice. "Er...why?"

"You never have to go through the dilemma of deciding on a new life and your own." Hannah flicked her fingers in a halting gesture when Shepard made to answer as she turned to face her. "When I realised I was pregnant. I was shocked, confused then angry with myself. It was not what I wanted when I aspired to make the best of myself in the Alliance. I should have been more careful. I should have been in control. I should have been wiser. I was none of those. Andrei was ecstatic when he knew and made plans for us to be together. I was caught between loving him for his enthusiastic acceptance and hurling him out the window for what he had done. The last was unfair, it takes two to tango."

Shepard blinked at Hannah in stunned amazement, hardly crediting what she was hearing. Hannah never talked of her personal past to her, often brushing her off whenever she had the chance to ask when her mother came home.

"We fought," Hannah continued. "I didn't want his plans. I didn't want the pregnancy."

You wanted to fulfill your own desires.

Shepard caught back the retort that leaped up automatically. "What changed your mind?" she asked impassively instead.

"Your father was a passionate man. He wanted-," Hannah wavered as a swamp of emotions caught her. She looked away, blinking furiously. "I couldn't give him what he wanted," she continued after regaining control of herself. "When he realised that, he pleaded for the child. For you. To his face, I was adamant but inwardly I was still in the crisis of decision. He became depressed, he drank and was negligent at work. He ended up in a traffic accident that nearly took his life. When I went to see him, he beseeched me again and swore he would look after the child so I could continue in the Alliance as I wanted."

"You agreed." Dad had to beg you from his hospital bed, I can very well imagine how it went.

Shepard strove hard to keep her anger down. Telienos had warned it was easy to go down familiar paths where Hannah was concerned. Paths of anger, bitterness, disdain, disappointment. She had to make new positive paths.

"I did. He picked himself up and made arrangements. I was glad and yet resentful."

"Because you felt cornered? Tricked? Coerced?" Acrimony seeped into Shepard's tone despite her best efforts. She castigated herself silently. For Hannah to be so candid, to bare herself in this way, she wanted to reach out.

Don't wall up and call in the archers, April.

"Hostage. I did not want him to do something foolish." Hannah turned back to face her and accepted the scorn Shepard couldn't keep out of her eyes. "I accepted the circumstances. The days could not pass fast enough. Until..."

"What?"

"When I felt you move." Hannah closed her eyes as she remembered the moment. "It was the strangest feeling. It suddenly struck me how precious the burden I was carrying. A new life. Made with passion and love. Yes, I do love Andrei," she said quietly at the flash of disbelief, "but I'm sorry to say not enough to make a life with him permanently. I was granted a year's leave just before the birth. You were a lovely baby. Andrei refused to sleep for a day. He was always watching you, saying you were a miracle, his beautiful baby. We had a wonderful year, watching you grow stronger, hear you speak your first words, watch you take your first step. But all good things come to an end."

"You went back to the Alliance."

"It was harder than I ever imagined. I wanted to be there, to see you grow up but I was also feeling restless. Andrei and I were also having some problems so I left. He promised he would be the best father you ever have. He sent weekly updates, holopics, recordings. I felt guilty and yet comforted as time went by, he was taking good care of you. When he died-." Shoulders slumping slightly, Hannah turned away to lean on the railings and fixed her eyes on the distant lights. "I was thrown out of stride. Suddenly I had a nine year old daughter depending on me. I was torn again. I could take leave but it's not a long term solution."

"So you put me in the dependents program and I was obliged to trail after you like the wagging end of a dog."

Hannah flinched. "I know I'm not the best mother. I wasn't there when you needed me most. I wasn't there to provide the shelter you could run to, the guide you could talk to when you feel lost. Believe me, I know how you feel. The guilt of what I should have done, it is not easy to live with. I know I failed you." She looked at Shepard. "I know words will not suffice or take away the pain and disappointment of those years but they're all I can offer. I'm sorry." Her eyes glittered with unshed tears.

Shepard could feel her sincere sorrow and regret. Her anger ebbed away. If she had chosen a human partner, what would she herself have done if she were pregnant? Would she have left the Alliance? Spend eighteen years as a civilian, managing household affairs, bringing up a kid, wait for the husband to come home. Could she do that?

She couldn't imagine herself doing it, stuck dirtside for so long. Yet she had spent six years on Thessia, lollygagging to no purpose most of the time. Granted, she wasn't herself but there were moments when she was restless and conflicted between wanting to get out and staying put. She looked over to Liara and the baby. After what they had all gone through, a third chance at life was a miracle. She would have to do her best with them.

She looked back at Hannah who was turning away, a forlorn and bleak air about her. There were many things yet to be said, many things to be shared. It would not be easy. It would take time and a lot of giving but for now, they had taken the first step, they were in accord. They both wanted to mend bridges. There was only one thing to do.

"Do you know why I enlisted?" she asked. Hannah turned back to her, surprised. "I wanted to get away from grey dirty prefabs. Being told to pack and dumped into different places every one to two years. People come and go as quickly. Nothing was permanent except for one thing. You. I should be resentful that the Alliance blocked you away but I wasn't. You sent holos of places you went to. Places that caught my imagination. I wanted to be there, to be with you. To share with you. But I couldn't and I became angry. I swore I would get there one day."

"April-."

"I understand, mom." She caught hold of Hannah and hugged her tight, feeling her startled surprise and the strength of her response. "I understand," she repeated soothingly, feeling the other woman shaking with emotions and her own throat swelling at the same time. "Without you, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have come back from that coma."

"I don't deserve your forgiveness, April."

Pushing Hannah away gently so she could look into her eyes, Shepard said quietly, "I'll admit it's not easy but honestly, when I think about it," she sighed. "If you did not care, you could have easily washed your hands off me. Put me up for adoption or foster care but you didn't. You put me in the dependents program because you know you'll get regular updates on my progress. It's true I was the wagging end of the dog all those years ago but the dog did come to check its tail. If it did nibble some times, I guess that's better than none." She was hard put not to giggle at Hannah's expression.

"Oh god, April, you'll be the death of me," Hannah choked, caught between laughter and tears.

Catching hold of her mother's hands, Shepard smiled. "I love you, mom."

"I love you, April."

Time seemed to stand still as they shared the moment. A sharp shrill from a skycar that passed too close reminded them of where they were. They looked at each other with awkward empathy and uncertainty in the new found rapport.

"We'll work on it but it's a start for us," Shepard said. "When do you have to report back in?"

"I've been given a few month's leave. I lost the Madrid and many people. Half the staff were knocked up pretty badly in the lifeboat, two thirds of the crew out of action and the fleet in pieces."

Hearing the note of self censure, Shepard said, "Hell, mom, have you heard? We lost First Fleet in our own backyard and whose fault was it? Hackett? Langdon? Everyone was busy painting the target in front of them, focused on getting back their home. Who would have thought or even predicted there was another enemy lurking around measuring our asses for places to kick?"

"I just..."

Shepard interrupted. "Mom, when have you truly rested?"

"I..."

Shepard said briskly, "A few month's leave you say? Fine, you're staying here with us. When we go back to Thessia, you're coming back with us. Unless you have other plans?"

Hannah blinked at the decisive tone. "Well, no," she admitted.

"I know you have stuff to write about."

Reports and letters to next of kin for the crews. Both tasks were going to be difficult and soul numbing, Shepard knew, given the numbers. The Reaper War was the most merciless scythe they had ever encountered and it left deep bleeding wounds on all. She bet her best bottle of brandy that Hannah was in the same dire straits as she was six years ago though without the terrible psyche fracture. Her mother was going to need support and help.

"You can do them during your furlough. Chakwas is settling in with us so you're not going to be bobbing all alone in a sea of blue."

"But I. . ."

"For once, let me turn the tables on you." Shepard held up a silencing finger when Hannah made to speak again, tucked her arm under her mother's and turned her in the direction of the party. "I know just the bartender who can knock the legs out from under you, you need it."

Hannah gave in. "Really? Who is that?"

"A half-krogan and boy, can she cook up the drinks."

Normandy

With Hackett signing off on the undertaking to get the message from the crystal, Admiral Danivic and Commander Araki did not ask too many questions except to put eyes and backups in place. Shepard ran through the last of the preflight checklist in shuttle S01, nicknamed Harpy by her regular crew. Why it got its name was painted on the overhead in the cockpit. A formidable looking harpy. If she care to tilt her seat back, she would get a faceful of snarling awesomeness.

"This is from human mythology?" Telienos said in fascinated incredulity from behind Shepard's chair.

"I think the crew wants to make life miserable for any poor sods they run up against."

"Why this creature in particular?"

"If a harpy sees an evildoer, she'll hunt and carry him to judgement, to be punished for his crimes."

"Interesting. Are there many more such examples?"

"Um-," Shepard muttered distractedly. "Yeah, we have a lively imagination back then."

"And not now?" Liara said teasingly from the co-pilot's chair.

"I think my mother disproved that notion with that list of why I should not be doing this," Shepard said with mild exasperation tinged with amusement.

"She is making up for lost time," Liara murmured.

"Yeah, it sure made me wish I picked another time to mend bridges," Shepard said jokingly and cleared her throat before asking for clearance. Bringing the Harpy to a halt twenty klicks from the Normandy, she ran another check on their coordinates. Outside the cockpit windows, there was nothing to be seen except the fog of the nebula. "How're we doing Javik?"

"He's quiet, not moving."

"Right." Taking a deep breath and expelling it gustily, Shepard unbuckled from the seat and stood up. "Checking seals."

She beckoned to Liara, checked that her hardsuit was secured, then Telienos. The matriarch took hold of her hands before she could move away. She felt a light mental touch.

"How am I doing?" She grinned when Telienos gave her a thumbs up. "Alright, you two stay here."

The grin vanished when she stepped into the cargo compartment. Standing by the hatch was Javik who kept his eyes trained on Feron. Seated at the end of the compartment, she couldn't see Feron's expression but his slumped shoulders shouted out his despondency. She could feel the tension rising in the others when she crossed over to him.

"Feron. Remain seated," she said when he made to unbuckle and stand. "The crystal."

He didn't give it to her when he dug it out of his skinsuit pocket but cupped it in his hands. "You have to touch it." When she moved to do so, he shook his head. "Not with the gauntlet on."

Unsealing the gauntlet, she wriggled her fingers experimentally and looked over her shoulder. The others were as still as statues though Javil was half crouched, ready to spring into action. A finger would do, she decided and swiftly tapped the crystal. A small spark, like an electrical shock, spat at the contact.

"Shepard?" Liara queried worriedly when Shepard rubbed her fingers.

"I'm all right. It feels like I touched something hot." There was no mark on the skin when Shepard examined the finger. Pulling the gauntlet back on, she wondered why nothing was happening. "Feron?"

"It takes some time."

"Time for what?" she asked uneasily, taking a few steps back.

"I don't know." He would have added more but Shepard waved him to silence for the crystal was glowing. A life size hologram of a human male appeared. The coiled tension in the compartment shot up.

"Is there a reason why he couldn't use a datastick to record his message?" Shepard muttered as she examined the image. It was the same face she saw on Zenith Station except that he was dressed in a black suit with white trimmings. An insignia she did not recognise blazoned on his chest.

"A datastick does not have the extent and capabilities of the crystal," the image said unexpectedly.

Startled silence. Recovering from her surprise, Shepard eyed the image which returned her gaze. "V.I. or direct comm link?"

"Both. The V.I. monitors, the link is tenuous but allows a more dynamic interaction."

"Where are you?"

"I think you have a good idea where I'm heading," Lance smiled, "even if you do not know the destination."

"Let's cut to the chase. What do you want?"

"I've what I wanted. I know you don't. Unresolved issues can be a nuisance. I can shed some light for some of them."

Leaning against a support and crossing her arms, Shepard said, "Go ahead." She glanced at the others; less tense but wary.

"I'll start when we parted ways, shall I?" he said genially. "I've already sent out feelers to get into Terra Firma by the time I met you. My application was accepted by the time I left. I was sent to one of their cells scattered among the colonies. Given the mark against me, I took another identity. For the next several years, I spread the creed and slowly moved up the hierarchy. By the time I reached the inner circle, Charles Saracino became the party leader after the mysterious disappearance of Claude Menneau."

"Do you know why Menneau dropped off the radar?"

"Saracino wanted powerful backers for the party. Using the political ladder was not enough. Even though influence is extensive, it did not translate into practical action. He wanted someone who was on the same page, with clout and money and the means to provide the execution."

"Cerberus."

Lance nodded and went on.

"The Illusive Man wanted Saracino in control of Terra Firma so he had his agents removed his opposition, Claude Menneau. One of Claude Menneau's bodyguards and his pilot, killed him when he was enroute to Shanxi in his private vessel. The bodies and the vessel were disposed of. By the time Saracino became the party leader, the ranks of Terra Firma had expanded, comprising of people from all walks of life. Their identities above reproach in public records. Cerberus was quick to draw on this resource. Those in key positions in government, research facilities and industries began to filter information back to Cerberus."

"Did they know they were working for Cerberus?"

"They thought they were working for Saracino, contributing to his plan to protect humanity's identity and their prosperity. Cerberus's ambition for humanity to have greater control over their future, to ascend than to be dictated to by alien races marched in accord with our own. Both principles have merit."

"We can at least agree that the objective of both groups intended positive pay-offs for humanity," he said when she gave a derisory snort. "The Battle of the Citadel more than justified that stance. Your warning was not heeded. Those in power were too complacent and presumptuous in their prestige and power. They should have died. Instead, we have to make sacrifices to keep those aliens safe."

Shepard opened her mouth, then closed it. What's the point of picking a debate at this time?

"That was the first storm warning. When our people should have begun to take steps to defend against the hurricane, they chose to accept the paltry offerings. A sop of a Council seat with a bridle put on by the hands of aliens whose wisdom are no more profound than that of a sloth. You knew the truth, you and those few in the Alliance who tried to get people to listen. Admiral Hackett and Admiral Anderson. Oh yes," he said when she started in surprise. "They believed in you but they could do little because power lay in the hands of political parties and their peers who were more interested in their own games. But Hackett and Anderson were not the only ones who heeded your warning. Cerberus believed and took steps to build the defense."

"You can't have been ignorant of their ruthless practices in their march to human ascension."

"I was not. I do not condone everything they did but in some cases, harsh action was necessary. After what happened at the Citadel, gaining the majority back home was no longer the answer. The danger that was coming could spell the end of humanity. Charles Saracino and I began looking for other ways to preserve humanity. By then, we were able to access some of the projects Cerberus was carrying out. We saw there was potential in several. When you were reported lost in the Collectors' attack," he halted for a moment as if reliving some emotion, "it was a blow. We were hoping, looking for some way to link up with you, to combine efforts in establishing a bulkhead against the coming threat."

"Coming from Cerberus? Unlikely."

"No, as Terra Firma. We believed you would have accepted aid from an organisation that publicly had no ties to Cerberus. We had begun establishing small underground colonies with Terra Firma members, using the exploration charts that Cerberus amassed from their clandestine survey of uncharted systems. We hoped that if it turned out worst than we thought, some of these colonies would survive. We needed ships and all the materials necessary for survival so we took steps to get what we could from Cerberus."

"They were steadily and quietly acquiring whatever ships they could steal besides the ones they were building. It seemed like a miracle when you were found and more still, when the Illusive Man was confident that you could be brought back. By then, people had begun disappearing. Little by little, then more and more. We knew it had to be enemy action but no one wanted to act on it. Not the aliens nor the Alliance which were as ineffectual as we thought they were."

"Cerberus sent as many operatives as could be spared to the far flung colonies, hoping to get some idea of the enemy. There was debate whether it would be better to create as many clones of you and send them out with the agents rather than to wait for your reconstruction. Creating a full grown clone and infusing them with instructions is not difficult but to inject that same kind of personality and determination, that same rate of effectiveness and successes as the original is impossible."

"The idea was rejected. The reconstruction process was carried out. In the two years hence, Cerberus failed to gather any viable clues on the enemy as all the agents similarly disappeared with the colonists. There were hints, suspicions but no evidence. We could only wait and study the pattern of the disappearances. Waiting for you was the right decision. You did what we hoped you would."

He paused for a moment as if to collect his thoughts. "The attack on the research station on which the Lazarus Project was carried out was of immense concern to the Illusive Man. He did not like the fact that his own people could be suborned. He passed an order that everyone with access to sensitive material be chipped. Our own projects were in jeopardy. If Saracino refused, we could be exposed so he complied. It was a risk either way, we could still be exposed but it was fortunate the Illusive Man trusted him. I escaped because I secretly grew my own clone who took my identity and acted as a liaison, carrying out Saracino's orders. I was able to insert my own instructions and was kept abreast of their actions."

"Why didn't Saracino do the same?"

"Saracino served time for tax evasion. When he was released, he chose to leave Earth and worked closely with the Illusive Man. A clone could not have fooled him. This development was worrying, especially more so when I learned that he wanted the Collector Base preserved. His reasons seemed sound but I was extremely troubled because I discovered he was conducting experiments and implementing them on himself. To understand the enemy, I overheard him say. I realised he meant the Reapers. It was foolish. He was meddling with technology he had no control over. Perhaps he thought he would find that control but when he began to turn on his own people, injecting them with Reaper nanites, experimenting on humans, turning them into monsters. I knew he was lost."

"I had to save as many of our people as quickly as possible. Saracino was lost to me. He and many others were programmed via their mind chips. They were all dancing to the Illusive Man's tune and behind him were the Reapers. I was on my own. With other Terra Firma members, we tried to prepare as best as we could. The Reaper invasion exploded upon us. We lost many. I tasted despair, terror and never thought that any of us would survive. But we did, thanks to you."

"Don't thank me, I didn't do it alone." She would have added more but he forestall her.

"But it is you who carried it through. You survived when the others fell. They were brave, heroes but still, it was you who killed the Reapers."

She decided to move on. "What did you do after that?"

"My clone had somehow escaped the death scythe. From him, I learned the Illusive Man was dead but the others of his inner circle lived still. They were in control of Cerberus's remaining resources. They were determined to carry out his mandate; human ascendancy by any means. By then, their minds were unstable, their actions irrational. They wanted to conquer Earth themselves, implant everyone and then try to bring the Reapers back. The Reapers were the springboard to ultimate power. They were lucid enough to know they needed to build up their depleted infrastructures and send out agents. By then, almost everyone working for Cerberus was beyond hope. They could never return to Earth nor step foot on any civilised world."

"They were aware of the problem and yet they sent out their agents. What they did not realise was that the people who carried out their orders did not belong to Cerberus. They were Terra Firma. With the clone's help, we were able to keep this fact from the rotten leadership. Saracino was still held in thrall. I found the sequences in which his chip was programmed and tried to wake him out of it but it was not as simple as I thought."

"I directed my focus to the colonies that survived. They needed aid. We diverted what we could from supplies traded at Illium and Cerberus stockpiles. A year after the war, the Cerberus projects Saracino and I were keeping an eye on threw up some interesting results. With the chaos the TI were wreaking and the clear continual lack of prudent resolutions from the aliens, I knew we could not stay. We had to leave. We knew how. What we needed was more materials, ships, fuel, everything to set up a new world in a new place."

"A new world in a new place. You don't mean this galaxy."

"No, April, we don't. Have you heard of a galaxy far far away?" He laughed.