I'm not sure of absolutely anything about this story. I just know that I've had this idea, I loved it and tried to put it into words. I love this plot, it's really really angsty but... what can I say, I love angst. I know I should stop publishing 93478954 long-fics, but I just can't stop my fantasy.

please let me know if you like it, if I should continue, even if it sucks. it's okay. I just needed to know. thank you so much :)

The bell rang and Regina Mills took a breath of relief.

It's just third period and she had still three ones left, but it was time for her launch break and she could finally dedicate some time to herself. For a quarter, at least.

"Miss Mills, the headmaster would like to meet you in his office." she heard someone knocking and then a feminine voice that woke her up from her thoughts.

"It's my launch time now, tell Mr. Locksley I'll be there in twenty minutes." she didn't know that man at all. She'd never met him, she just knew he was the new headmaster, that he'd been there for just a couple of days. But still, she'd heard many stories about him, about how dashingly handsome he actually was.

Probably he just wanted to introduce himself to her and Regina had no intention to waste the only free quarter she had that day with a man she barely knew.

The girl -who probably was one of the new assistants- nodded and smiled kindly at her before finally leaving.
Regina smiled to herself and searched for a box in her purse which contained her launch: a ham and cheese sandwich and a bottle of water. It was all she had been able to take that morning before leaving her house as quickly as possible, while tears were filling her eyes and keeping her from seeing things clearly. Her face darkened at that thought and she looked down to her phone: no calls, one new message:

Victor: Good morning, babe. Sorry for last night. Have a nice day, love you.

Even though that message was apparently sweet, Regina couldn't smile.

Liar. Bastard.

Asking for forgiveness wasn't enough anymore and she knew it far too well.

"May I?" that knock again, followed by a voice; but this time it was warm, deep and low. Regina looked up and found her eyes completely buried in the ocean blue ones of the man standing right in front of her. Oh, my God.

Before she could say a word or even just nod, he walked towards her and offered his hand:
"Mr. Locksley." he introduced himself with a smile and Regina felt her knees getting weak. She immediately dropped the sandwich she was holding in her hands back in the box and cleaned her hands against her red skirt. Shit.

"I'm sorry, I..." she was clumsy, just as if she had been caught doing something against the rules. "it's my launch break and I was eating..." she kept on trying to justify herself for not shaking his hand, as if her whole career depended on that, but he simply giggled and left his arm fall back to his side.

"it's okay. I knew it, I insisted to see you." his blue eyes penetrated hers for a long instant and her breath caught in her throat. Those eyes, those dimples, those thin but still so damn inviting lips, those blond hair that sligthly fell on his forehead.

God, he's truly handsome. Now, finally, she could understand her colleagues when they giggled and chatted in the corridors about how absolutely charming the headmaster was. He was handsome. He really was. And he had insisted to see her.

"oh" she blushed lightly, looking down immediately.

"yeah, well... you're the only teacher I still had to meet in this school." he smiled at her and she swore she could feel her heart pushing against her chest as if it was begging to break free.

"oh. well, here I am." she shrugged with a sweetness she didn't think she had.

"I must say that I'm not disappointed. At all." he whispered as if it was a secret that Regina had to keep, as if it was enchanted by her chocolate brown eyes and couldn't stop his mouth from telling exactly what was going on in his head.

Was he... flirting with her?! She felt butterflies in her stomach, the ones she used to feel when she was fifteen and had her first crush. For a moment, with him, she forgot about anything else; about how much she was suffering, about how miserable she actually was. What the hell was that man doing to her?

His eyes fell on the ring Regina was wearing on her left hand and his smile immediately dropped. She was married and he was definitely exaggerating.

He cleared his throat and smiled again, a bit uncomfortable.

"so... math, right?" his tone was gentle and kind and Regina kept on reminding herself that there wasn't anything strange in that conversation, that she didn't have to give herself false hope, because he was just the boss, trying to introduce himself to her for the first time, so he just had to be kind. And they were probably both married, anyway.

She had to stop feeling... something for that man.

"yes, right." finally she smiled too. Not a shy smile but a wide one. "it's so nice to meet you, Mr. Locksley."

"please, call me Robin." Robin. That was probably the sweetest but still hottest name she had ever heard in her whole life. She suddenly felt the need to pronounce it; she wanted to, she needed to hear how it sounded coming from her voice.

"and you can call me Regina."

"Regina." he said it like a scripture and for a brief moment she got jealous he'd gotten to say her name out loud and she didn't. It sounded just amazing coming from his deep, penetrating voice. "it's such a beautiful name."
They locked their eyes again, this time for quite a long minute, until he finally spoke again: "is that your lunch?" he pointed to her sandwich with his index finger and arched a perfect eyebrow, clearly perplexed.

"yep."

"are you sure it'll be enough?" Regina noticed his skepticism and decided to play a little with him:

"are you judging?" she crossed her arms over her chest.

Robin looked at her for a second, as if it was trying to understand if she was serious or not, then he laughed:
"not at all! I just... you know, the canteen is on the second floor, it's not that far, we have an elevator!"

Regina glared at him for an instant, then she burst into laughter too, loosening the grip around Robin's stomach:

"hey! You are the new guy here, not me. I know this school very well." why did it feel so natural to laugh with that man? It was like they had known each other their whole lives. What was different in him? How was he able to destroy all of her walls, even for a couple of minutes?

"it's just that I prefer staying here, alone." she shrugged and he smiled sweetly.
"then I think I should go." for a moment, Regina hoped she had just imagined that last sentence. She really wanted him to stay; it was the first time in a very long time she felt comfortable alone with a man in a room. She just wanted to know him better, he was so nice with her, she wanted to keep on laughing with him, carefree like she had never been.

"it's been a pleasure, Miss Mills."

"Regina" she corrected him with a kind smile.
"Regina." and again, a shiver ran through her back. It was amazing hearing her name coming from that warm voice, she wanted him to say it over and over again, in different circumstances. It was just able to stuck into her head.

"same, Robin." finally she left his name rolling off her tongue and she could almost swore she had seen him gasping for air as she did it.

His blue eyes slipped in her chocolate ones again, that long silence fell between them one more time and two shy smiles were painted on their lips. Again. Everything was so embarrassing, but they didn't feel the embarrassement at all.

They just stayed like that until one of them -him- swallowed hard and nodded, breaking that magic made up of looks and left her alone. Again.

She stood still in front of her own house for a couple of minutes, in her car, her hands gripping the steering wheel and tears stuck in her chocolate brown eyes.

She could do that, she was strong enough. Maybe today Victor was of good mood, maybe it wouldn't happen again; maybe this time she would spare her pillow the tears she used to cry every single night.

Regina asked herself how far she could go with that story. She was miserable, so miserable that the only thought of coming back home frightened the hell out of her. So miserable that she kept on shutting all the people she had around out of her sad bubble; she didn't have a friend or someone to talk to. She didn't even accepted the help of a psychologist.

She just wanted to be alone, hold everything she felt back until she exploded.

Sometimes she thought if she could just die, everything would be so much easier. She'd gotten close to that, several times, when, during the night, in the middle of a fight, she'd locked herself in the bathroom and grabbed the razor. She'd gripped it hard, cried as silently as she could, but never dared to touch the blade. So she'd left it fall on the floor and suppressed the millionth sigh.

You don't even have the balls to make this stop, Mills.

She passed a hand in her hair, trying to wipe away the bad memories; she took a leap of courage and opened the door.

"oh, look who's finally home! Miss Mills." his voice was the first thing she heard. She squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breathe and calmed herself. You can do it.

"hi, Vic." she tried to smile but when she saw him walking towards her with a pervert smile on his face, she couldn't help but shiver. She felt his dirty hand resting on her cheek, there when he had used such violence the night before.

"how was your day, babe?" he smiled and for a second she thought she was going back in time, to seven years before, when everything was still perfect. When they were "madly in love".

"good. I've had all the classes today. It was challenging, but i'm finally home. I have to check some tests, then I can finally rest." she was saying things she was sure he didn't give a damn about; things she had never told him in three years.

"interesting. I've waited for you to come home to have launch." you waited for me because you wanted me to prepare you launch.

"I've already had launch, but I can prepare you something. What do you want to eat?" she bit her lip, damning her own self for being so nice with him after everything she'd been through because of that man. Last night, the one before, the week before; every day in the last three years.

"you." he buried his face in her neck and started to bit, suck, lick it. Regina felt her stomach turning upside down, an incredible sense of nausea invading her completely until she felt the vomit burning the bottom of her throat.

"Vic... I'm very tired..."

"come on, I've been waiting since this morning." it wasn't a request, but an order, and she knew it far too well. Please. Just not now.

"Victor" she moaned as she felt his cold hands slipping under her clothes, on her hot skin.

"mmh..."
"Victor, I have to..." with a strength and a courage she didn't think she had, he pushed him away and ran to the bathroom, opening the door and bending over the toilet to throw up what was left of the cheese and ham sandwich she had eaten at launch. Shit.
At the thought of her launch, the memory of Robin and how he had lighted up her day for a second came back to her.

"god damn it!" she heard him shouting from the kitchen, right before an incredibly loud noise. He had punched the table, hard, making it shake completely. Regina squeezed her eyes, again.

"I'm not even allowed to fuck you! Now I make you vomit?!" he walked towards her, gripping her arm, forcing her to stand up.

"Victor, please... it's just... I think I caught the flu. It's not you."

"Oh, that I know!" he shouted "it's you. You are the fucking problem, Regina. You can't even satisfy me anymore!" her back was pressed hard against the cold wall and she could perfectly feel his breath on her neck. His awful, putrid breath.

"I'm... I'm sorry."

"you should thank me because I still find you attractive. You're 37, Regina, open your eyes! Who would find you even interesting if not me?!"

Perfect. Now she wasn't even decent to his eyes anymore. She was... just attractive. She was just a fancy way of satisfying his needs.

"I'm sorry. W-we... we can try again, if you want. I can make it work, just... give me a second" the only thought of having him inside of her, of feeling him thrusting and touching her deepest spots made her want to throw up again, but if that was the only way to stop all of that... she was going to do it.

"of course!" he said ironically "do you think it's easy to make it hard again?" while he said -or better, shouted- so, he unzipped his trousers and pulled down his boxers. Regina looked up, trying to look anywhere but at that sick situation. She felt the nausea coming back and closed her eyes.

"look at it. And think you could've had it all, hard, deep inside of you. Look at it now. Look what have you done." he ordered but she refused to obey. She kept on staring at the ceiling, praying whoever was up there that that torture would be over soon.

"LOOK AT IT!" Victor shouted, gripping her head and forcing her head down. Regina couldn't hold back a sigh and she damned herself for it.

"I've already told you that I'm sorry" she murmured softly, trying to hold back her tears as much as she could. But it was useless, they were already rolling down her cheeks.

"I don't give a shit about your apologies!" he left her fall against the door and there she cried, silently, as always.

Everything seemed to stop for a moment; Victor was there, a few steps away from her, passing a hand through his dark hair, trying to calm himself down. Regina was still on her feet -she didn't know how, where she found the strength to stay like that- against the wood of the door, mentally praying that she could finally be alone. For a couple of minutes, just the time to cry her soul out. Just the time she needed to explode in sighs.

"go check those fucking tests that make you feel all proud of yourself. You ruined everything." as he said so, he was about to leave, but not before he whispered bitch when he got sure she was hearing him.

"Victor" she called him, her voice broken by the tears "I want to divorce."

He looked at her for a second, from the bottom to the top, completely. His eyes were serious for just a moment, then he burst into a laughter, out of nowhere, as if he was crazy. He walked to her and slapped her face, hard. Then he left.

She left her back slide down, till she was sitting on the floor. She closed the door and finally let go all the tears, all the sighs, all the screams she had tried to hold back for too long.

I know. The angst. I'm sorry.

thanks for reading! xxo