Author's note: Very long chapter ahead. I did more point of views so if you wish to skip straight to Lyrina you can, but I wanted some Cersei and Jon in this one. Jon will come more in later ones as well, when the story gets a little more AU. Anyway thank you all for the reviews they mean a lot and trust me I definitely take what you say to heart and even use some ideas.
Disclaimer: I do not own Game of Thrones, or their characters. I own Lyrina and my plot points.
Chapter 9: Do you know what love is?
Cersei wanted to hate Lyrina, she really did. On the day of her daughters birth she wanted to be rid of her, but she could not do it. Not that she was incapable of killing a child, no it was not that, but because her husband had been there. After their first child he had made a point of being gone when she was giving birth, but by some curse of the Gods the little girl had come early. The second he was informed of the black haired, blue eyed young babe he was in her room snatching the child away from her. Cersei hated the babe for being early, she could have killed the child if she was on time. She would have no guilt over it, she did not want Robert's spawn in the world risking the parentage of her other child.
Cersei did not grow any feelings for her own child until the girl was about three, she had wandered into her bed chamber one night when Robert put his hands on her. The little girl looked so frightened and fragile, while Robert swept her away Cersei sat on the floor staring. The man she had grown to hate, loved her child more than she did. She had lost her own mother and she swore she would be a mother to her children, yet she ignored her second child. So Cersei did what she felt was best. Her husband was going to send her away to Winterfell of all places no doubt in hopes of marrying her off. Cersei would not send her daughter that far north, so she had hatched a plan to send her to her old home of Casterly Rock. Cersei was convinced it would be a better place for her, at least there she would learn to be a proper lady and lioness.
She knew differently though, her daughter had not grown up as Cersei wished. Her father was cruel to the girl, Cersei had not planned for that. She did not think he father would see the Baratheon in her and abuse it. Lyrina was meant to be safe there, and despite her lack of love for her daughter in the beginning, her intention was never to have Lyrina live in home of abuse. She wanted her to never know that life, she wanted her to be removed from hate. Cersei had feared being close to Robert at a young age would taint the child mind to violence but now Cersei was the one who had caused the damage.
Cersei had watched her child grow in the time they had been reunited. She had seen the young girl go from afraid of her own shadow to a woman. She watched the way she walked, the way she talked she was shifting into something different. Cersei knew there was still fear inside the child, still an ignorant impulsion of a child, but there was a fire also. A fire she had seen in her father, a fire she saw in Ned's daughter Arya, a fire Cersei was determined to extinguish.
Jon Snow had been at the wall for a while and he was greatly disillusioned. He was lead to believe taking the black was a thing of honor and respect but instead he was met with rapists, murders and the like. He was lucky enough to find companionship in a group of three fellow young men. Grenn, Pyp and Sam they were all good men in their own rights. At first Grenn and Pyp were not the people Jon would have associated with but after a time he grew close to the pair. With Sam it was different, he was weak and untrained in fighting so Jon sought to help him. He looked out for the portly boy, and in return they became watch partners.
When he received the letter from Lyrina he had been so excited to hear from her. He was sad that she was not enjoying her new home, but then again he was not exactly enjoying his either. Jon took no time at all writing back to her, but when Grenn had caught a glimpse of the letter he began to mock the boy.
"Who is Lyrina,Snow?" Grenn was teasing Jon as he held the letter in his hands. Most guys at the wall did not receive letters, let alone letters from women.
"She is my closest friend, now give the letter back."
"Friend, I am sure. Was she pretty? At least you got it out of the way before your vows." Grenn shot a joking glance over at Sam, who no doubt was a virgin. But Jon was as well and he did not much like these men talking of Lyrina in such a manner.
"She is the kings daughter, she came to Winterfell after running away. We became close, but no we never." He could not bring himself to say it among these men. They just laughed, not believing him. He did not care if they believed him. He knew how he felt about his friend, and he knew he missed her very much. He missed her, his sisters and his brothers, he wished he could see them again. But he had chosen this life, and this life he shall lead.
"So you were really never with that girl, the one who wrote you?" Jon was cleaning with Sam when the topic of Lyrina was brought up again. She had written him one letter and everyone was assuming he had bedded her. Sure she asked if she could run away to the wall to see him, to live and hide out there, but that did not mean anything more than friendship.
"No, she was my best friend and someone else already liked her." Jon knew of Robb's feelings for her, he had seen it in the way he loooked at her. Even if hadn't know for a while, he would have known by the way Robb kissed her.
"Was she ugly?"
"She was pretty enough, black hair, blue eyes." But he knew Sam was not talking about her facial features or hair color. He wanted to know of her body, and that was something Jon would not discuss, she was a princess not a whore. "I came close once with someone else, a whore named Ros."
His mention of Ros was a quick subject changer, and Jon was thankful. He had thought Ros was a beautiful woman and part of him regretted not being with her, but the other part of him didn't. He could not risk the woman getting pregnant with his bastard child, it would be a hard life for that child. He knew he was better off not taking the risk, and instead remained pure. Now he took to the black where
he would never be with a woman again.
Later on that night after using Ghost to threaten a particularly horrid fellow, Jon found himself in his bed unable to sleep. He had gotten word of Bran back when Tyrion Lannister was still at the wall and he was still shaken by it. He worried for Robb knowing he would have to run Winterfell, care for their siblings and his mother. The letter did not mention anything other than Bran losing his ability to walk, but Jon knew there was more to the story. When it came to Winterfell and the Starks there was always more the story.
Lyrina's P.O.V
The gardens of the capitol were much prettier than Lyrina had expected them to be. She often found herself walking among the trees, and flowers with Sansa. Arya was busy with sword training, and sometimes Lyrina would visit her to watch the lessons, but when she wasn't she was with Sansa. It had taken time but the young red head had forgiven her for the episode with Joffrey. Lyrina knew Sansa was committed to the idea of marrying her brother, so she would do her best to be a good sister to the girl.
"Do you love him?" Lyrina almost stopped in her tracks as Sansa asked her the question. Lyrina had been speaking about Robb, and how he had sent her a letter. She did not expect Sansa to be so abrupt.
"I care for your brother very much." Lyrina did not know what to say, she could feel her face get warm as they continued their walk.
"I know that but I want to know if you love him. Do you know what love is?" Lyrina looked at the younger girl skeptically. Of course Lyrina knew what love was, or at least she knew what she thought love was.
"I do know what love is, I think. Sansa, Robb was never a man I looked at with the vision of love, I never longed for a future with him. He was always just Robb Stark the future Lord of Winterfell, until he showed me a different side of him, and I began to care for him deeply. Love is complicated and I guess in the fairytale sense of love I do love him."
"I love your brother." Did she though? Lyrina did not believe she could just love her brother, she did not see all of him. She saw the saint he painted of himself for her.
"I am sure he loves you too, and if he does not I am sure he will." I pray you run before that happens. Sansa smiled at Lyrina and she smiled back even though she did not want to. She did not want the young girl to fall victim to her brother, she knew what it was like to be his prey. Both girls just walked together, linking arms and smiling.
Lyrina could not deny the weather in the capitol was nicer than she thought as well. She was used to the cold of the north, she was used to gloomy days and warm clothing. In Kings Landing it seemed as if the sun never stopped shinning, it was always warm and the dresses she wore were thin. Lyrina enjoyed the feel of the sun on her skin, maybe she truly belonged in the south after all. She knew Sansa was enjoying the weather as well, she could truly see the young girl glowing each day.
"I am sorry princess, but do you mind me interrupting?" Lyrina looked in front of her to see a very handsome man standing before her. He was a stranger to her, yet something about the man was eerily familiar. Sansa bowed her head to the man while Lyrina just looked confused.
"I do not mind, if of course you are willing to tell me who you are. I mean no disrespect but i do not think we have met." She watched the mans familiar blue eyes shine as he laughed.
"It is no disrespect. You can not be expected to know me, Lyrina. I am your father's brother, Renly, that would make me your uncle." Lyrina blushed. She felt bad for not knowing who her own uncle was, then again she had never met the man. She was aware of two uncles on her fathers side, Stannis and Renly.
"I am so sorry, uncle. We have never had the pleasure of meeting."
"That is the exact reason I came to find you, I would like to get to know my brother's daughter." Lyrina looked over at Sansa who was just smiling at Lyrina.
"Walk with him, I will save you a seat at the tournament." Sansa let go Lyrina and smiled at Renly before walking off toward the hall. There was an awkward pause between the pair before her uncle held out his arm to her. She was still unsure of who in the capitol she could trust, but they were not alone in the garden.
"How old are you now? The last time I saw you was I think your second name day." Lyrina could not remember that far back, and if she did it was in fragments.
"I am fifteen,uncle." She smiled at him.
"So eleven years it was from the time my brother let you go until he got you back? We have not spoken much since you all have returned but he is very glad to have you back." Her uncle seemed nice enough, Lyrina watched him as they spoke. He was much more delicate than her father, he seemed someone less prone to battle and more suited for sitting on a throne.
"It was some time yes, but I am home now." Home. Calling Kings Landing home still felt foreign to her, but she did it to make others happy. She wanted everyone to think she was happy here.
"I could only imagine it was an adjustment from a few years a Winterfell. The north can be such a dreary place."
"It is different than the south that is certain, but it is a special place all the same." They continued their walk as he asked her many questions. He asked her about her father and how they were getting along. He asked about her mother, and siblings. She answered every question he gave her with a smile, but she was getting increasingly uncertain of her uncle's intentions. So when the Hound appeared in the garden looking for her, Lyrina was relieved.
Lyrina excused herself from her uncle and made her way to her guard. He was not as brutish as she had once thought he was. She was able to have small conversations with the man, she even learned he had a brother. They did not speak of him much but he did mention him, which to Lyrina was enough.
"I can not call you ser, but I do not wish to call you the hound. So what may I call you?" Lyrina did not know his real name, no one had taught her anything other than the Hound. She did not want to see the man as a dog, he was still a man.
"I do not care what you call me." Lyrina groaned, every time she thought she gained some re pore with the man he would back off. She knew he was no saint, but she did not want the time she spent with him to be so horrible.
"Well than what is your name? I wish to call you by your name." She as not going to back down, the man had never harmed her and she did not think he ever would. Her father had won him over somehow from the service of her brother, money no doubt, unless of course her mother had been part of it.
"Sandor Clegane." Lyrina smiled at the man as they continued their walk to the tournament. She did not look forward to the fighting, but it was a distraction. She thanked the man for his name and allowed him to continue the rest of their walk in silence. She learned a lot about the man by just watching him, he was loyal that much she knew. He was scarred and did not like fire, he was also very quiet. She knew he liked to drink ale,and had seen him drunk only once while in her service to which she was thankful. Her father was the only drunken man she wished to deal with.
She found her seat easily between Arya and Sansa who were in the front row at the jousting area. Lyrina smiled at both girls and planted herself between them. She could see the excitement in Arya's eyes, she was always one for knights and fighting. As she sat there for a moment Lyrina wished Bran could be there too, she wished he could enjoy the moment as well. Lyrina had written back to Robb,she had kept it short but she made sure to wish Bran well. She may have also told Robb she loved him too.
Lyrina found herself talking to Arya about her lessons, and the child was more than excited to inform her of all the details. Lyrina smiled listening as she went on and on about how much she had been learning. Lyrina missed archery, she missed being with Jon learning how to shoot even if she was not that good at it. She would have to ask her father to find her a teacher, she just hoped he would be okay with it. Lyrina looked over at Sansa for a moment and noticed she was staring off in the distance. Following Sansa's gaze she saw her brother just looking coldly at Sansa before turning away.
"Lover's quarrel." The group all turned to the new voice in their company. While everyone else was curious as to who the man was, Lyrina felt her body freeze. She recognized the man as the one who was in the brothel with Lord and Lady Stark. From the talking she gathered he was the littlefinger the whore had mentioned to her, and Lyrina was instantly on edge. Had this man been the one to leave the note in her room? She was still unsure of who had done it, but she had some ideas. Lyrina did not introduce herself the man, she did not need to. She was sure he knew she was the princess, what more else needed to be discussed.
Lyrina heard her father begin to become agitated, and she knew from his tone that the wine had gotten to him once again. Lyrina loved her father, and loved the time they would sometimes shared but the way he drank made her sad. He was too good for something like that. Soon the second rider approached and Lyrina was in awe of the size of him. The man was bigger than any she had ever seen, he was almost like a giant to her. She heard Littlefinger begin to tell Sansa who the men were, and she herself learned that the giant of a man was Sandor's brother. She looked back at Sandor was standing by her father, she smiled at him but he did not return the same smile.
Lyrina turned back in time to watch the two men begin their joust, she sat there in silence slightly holding her breath. Lyrina had never been to a tournament, she had never seen two people really fight each other either. She watched as the two horses raced toward each other, each man missing the other by an inch allowing Lyrina to breathe. She began to chastise herself for thinking it could be that bad, it was just a tournament for fun. But as the men came toward each other again it all changed, in one moment the Mountain's lance hit the other knight and someone screamed. Lyrina looked down where the man lay on the ground, blood flowing from his mouth and neck. Lyrina covered her mouth, she had never seen blood like that before and it was making her sick. She tried to look over at Arya and Sansa to make sure they were alright but her gaze was brought back to the dying man. Before long Lyrina got up and excused herself running off the platform they were sitting on.
Lyrina ran behind the nearest tent and felt herself begin to get sick. She had never seen so much blood, she had never seen a man die like that. Lyrina just kept getting sick, tears streaming down her face. She felt so weak being so sick at the sight of blood, but she did not care at the moment.
"Are you okay,M'lady? Are you feeling ill?" Lyrina turned around to see her uncle Renly approaching her. She went to stand up straight but she once again got sick. She wiped her mouth and began to try to breathe properly.
"I have never seen something like that, you must think me so weak."
"I can not stand the sight of blood much either, so do not fret." Somehow hearing that he too could not handle blood comforted her. She was not alone in the feeling, and knowing they were related just made the bond stronger. "Let's get you cleaned up."
Lyrina followed her uncle into an empty tent that had flowers on their banner. She tried to remember the family that had flower banners, and after a moment she remembered. The family with the rose was the Tyrell family of Highgarden. Renly brought her over a pitcher of water to wash her hands and a cloth to whip her face. Lyrina felt so stupid for running off and getting sick but it was a first time. Once Lyrina was all cleaned up her uncle ushered her back out of the tent and toward the girls once more. She joined them to finish the rest of the tournament, but in the back Lyrina's mind all she could see was the blood coming from the poor young knights neck.
Robb's P.O.V
Robb was drunk, he was very drunk, or at least that was the excuse he was going to use for the moment. He laid there as the girl before him took of her dress, standing naked in front of him. He could not deny she was a thing of a beauty, her hair was dark, her eyes were green and her body was that of a woman. He wanted to reach out and touch her but he didn't he jut laid there looking at her. Her body was moving in provocative ways and he could feel his body reacting to the sight before him. The woman slowly crawled onto the bed until her body was completely over his own and her face was inches away from him. He took a deep breath looking into her eyes.
"Robb." He had told her not to call him Lord Stark, that just made the whole situation a lot worse. He did not even know how he had gotten himself in the situation. One minute he was getting drunk with Theon, the next two girls were being sneaked into the castle and he was taking one up to his room. He was not the kind of man to sleep with random women, he had never done so before but he needed something. He was dying for some kind of contact that was not from himself.
The whore leaned down and kissed his lips gently at first but quickly escalating the kiss. He had not kissed a woman since Lyrina, and something about this girls lips did not feel the same. He pushed the though of Lyrina out of his head, he could not be thinking of her at a time like this. Robb reached up and grabbed the woman's face in his hands deepening the kiss. She tasted of wine and tea, an odd combination that he did not exactly enjoy. As they kissed Robb rolled them over so he was now on top the naked woman. She looked up at him with a wicked smile before she began to remove his shirt.
It was not hard for her to remove his shirt and she quickly went to work on his breeches but he stopped her. He took her hands away from him and began to kiss her again, he wanted to kiss her. She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair, Robb could feel himself loosing control. He had so much stress, so much tension from for days but he was going to let go. Without warning Robb moved his lips from her own to her neck, slowly kissing enjoying the sounds she was making. He knew she was only making the sounds because she was paid to act like she enjoyed what he was doing.
As he was continuing his kissing he slowly removed his own breeches so he too was naked. He sat up for a moment after, looking down at the naked girl, her hair a mess on his pillows and for a moment he was ready. He leaned down capturing her lips once more as he spread her legs apart inching himself closer to her center. Right as he was about to do it, right as he willed himself to push himself inside her he stopped. Robb pulled away abruptly and laid down on the bed next to her completely naked, he couldn't do it.
"I am sorry, I just can't. I will get you the gold in a moment." He laid there his mind a mess. He had kissed another woman, he had touched another woman with the intent to bed her. He was betrothed, he was promised to marry a woman who he would admit he loved. Why would he be so stupid?
"My Lord, if I offended you."
"No, it is not you. You are a very beautiful woman, and I am sure you are very good at what you do but I just can't." He heard the woman shuffle around a moment and then she was suddenly on top of him. Her legs were straddling his waist and he felt himself shift uncomfortably.
"I can't have sex with you." His voice was serious, he needed her to understand that.
"I know, but how about I help you with something else." Robb was confused for a moment, unsure of what the girl meant exactly. She leaned down kissing his lips, until she left his lips to make a trail down his body. She kissed his neck, his chest, his stomach and lower she went.
"Wait, you don't need to do.." His sentence was cut off by a groan. He could not deny that the woman mouth around him felt good, he had never had someone do that for him. She continued to move her mouth down his manhood, her tongue swirling around him for a moment. Robb felt himself groan and grip the bed looking down at her. He could only see her dark hair nothing else and for a moment, just a moment he got lost in the thought of her.
"Lyrina" His voice came out choked and as a moan. The whore removed her lips from his cock and sat up looking at him. His face turned red and he felt horrid for calling another woman's name but she was a whore, he was sure she was use to it.
"Is that why you can't have sex with me?" Her mouth may have left his cock but it was replaced with her hand as she slowly touched him. Thinking of Lyrina again just made everything worse and he removed the woman's hand from him. It had felt good but he was not this kind of man, he had honor.
"I am sorry but we can not do this." Robb got off the bed and put his pants on, hoping the woman would get the hint to dress as well.
"Who is she? What is she like? What about her has you so transfixed?" Robb looked at the whore incredulously. Why was she asking all these questions? "I don't only get paid for sex, people sometimes just need to talk. Lord Stark, you are a young man with no one else to turn to. You must not tell Theon about it, he honestly thinks you need to get fucked, so please just talk."
"I can not trust you would keep my information private." She just laughed and propped herself up on his pillows.
"I get paid to keep what happens between us private, trust me. You look like a man who is about to explode." Robb sat down at his desk just looking at the naked woman, he could not just tell her about Lyrina. She was right though, he had been consumed with thoughts of her and no one to talk about them. He worried for Bran, Rickon and his entire family but he could not talk to any one about it, maybe it would help.
"Her name is Lyrina." He said it like everyone knew who she was, which he had thought every person in Winterfell knew of her. But to his surprise the whore just looked at him confused, unsure if she should know the girl he spoke of. " I promised to marry her in a year after her sixteenth name day."
"So you can't have sex with me because you are promised to another? So I guess what they say about Stark men honor is true."
"I guess so." Robb looked down, he was feeling guilty for even letting things get this far.
"Where is she? Why isn't she in your bed tonight, Lord Stark?"
"She is in Kings Landing, it was part of the agreement I reached with her father. I am really not supposed to be talking about this."
"Who am I going to tell?" Robb knew she was right, but he had already gone too far with her. He could not just openly tell her about the betrothal when he had to lie to Lyrina about it. But he even so he found himself trusting of the black haired girl.
"She doesn't know that we are to be married. When we were children her father and my parents made an agreement to make a secret pact of marriage. I do not know why it was meant to be a secret, my guess is because of her mother."
"The poor girl does not even know? You did not feel the need to tell her?" The woman was sitting up now, still naked and staring at him with intrigue.
"I was told that I had two options, tell her about marriage and she would stay, or let her go with her family for a year. I am sure you have heard the story of Lyrina, so you should understand why I let her go."
"Is she the princess girl? The one who ran away or something? One of the girls told me about her when I came to work here about a month ago." It shocked Robb the way she spoke of Lyrina, he thought everyone in Winterfell knew the whole story.
"Yeah, the princess."
"So you let her go, why?" Robb sat back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment, thinking back on everything that had happened.
"I felt after eleven years of not being with her family, I owed her at least some time with them." It was true, he felt he would have been selfish to keep her.
"Did she want to go?"
"She told me the night before she left that she didn't, she asked me if I knew of a way to help her stay if I would. I told her I would do anything to help her stay, but I had no way to."
"So you lied to her?" Robb had not seen it as lying really, just protecting her. Everything Robb had done as meant to protect Lyrina.
"I was protecting her by sending her away. I thought being with her family would be best for her." The whore laughed, finally getting off his bed to get her dress back on.
"If only love was that easy."
" What the fuck do you know about love?" Robb was completely sober now, and everything he had been dealing with came flooding back into his head. His anger toward the Lannisters, his worry for his family, and his regret for letting his loved one go. To his surprise she just laughed at him.
"I know a lot of love, Lord Stark. I know you think you love her, and I am sure you do. I was in love once, and he died of a fever before I could save him. Love is rough, it is like going to war. Sometimes you fight, you lie, and you hurt the other person. But love is also passion, forgiveness and honesty. If you do not talk to the person you love, than you may as well let them go forever." Robb could not think of what to say. He just sat there staring at her, before reaching for the gold he owed the woman. Robb reached out his hand with money and she simply took it and headed for the door.
"One last piece of advice my Lord, if you do not tell her of the marriage before someone else I fear she may not forgive you. A girl does not simply run away from being a Princess for no reason, she must have gone through a lot and if she trusts you tell her before it's too late."
Robb sat in his chair staring at the bed the woman had just left. He was going to fuck a whore, he would have fucked her if he hadn't thought of Lyrina. He would have ruined his life with her before it had even started, he would have been unfaithful. Theon would tell him he can't be unfaithful if Lyrina wasn't his wife yet, but Robb did not see it that way. Lyrina may not have been his wife yet, but she was his. She was his love, she was the girl he had grown close to everyday, the girl who one day would be the mother of his children. He had sent away the one girl who he wanted to wake up to every morning, he sent her into the lions den. Now he feared it was too late, he feared he would never get her back again.
Before Robb went to bed he wrote the letter, he wrote the letter telling her the truth. He told her everything, he told her of the agreement with their parents and of his choice to let her go. He told her he was sorry, and that he wanted her to come home. He would send it by rider in the morning, he could not trust a raven with such information. He prayed she would forgive him, and that it was not too late.
The next day when Robb got word that a man of the nights watch and Tyrion Lannister were approaching Winterfell, he felt his blood boil. He sent Theon to get his brother Bran, he wanted the bastard Lannister so see the damage someone in his family had caused. He wanted the imp to feel the pain of what his family was going through, he was lucky Robb did not kill him. If his mother had not left for Kings landing he would think of staring a war, but he knew he could not. His job was not to start a war, his job was to be Lord of Winterfell.
"Do not call me boy Lannister, I am the Lord of Winterfell while my father is away." Though Robb knew he must have looked just like a child to the older man. He did not care, Robb was more of a man than any Lannister. The tension between the two men could have been cut with a great iron sword but they fell silent as the simple man Hodor came in carrying Bran. He could see the imps lips move but he did not hear what he had said.
"I am sorry to hear of the results of the accident, my young lord." The imp bowed his head to his brother. "Do you remember anything of what happened to you?"
"No he does not remember a thing." Robb's voice was harsh, but as he watched the interaction between the two he became increasingly more angry.
"Curious. Bran, do you enjoy riding?" Robb gripped the arms of his chair as the imp talked. Why would he ask Bran that, it was obvious the boy could no longer ride.
"I used to, but I will never ride again."
"Oh but you will." The imp began to tell them all how it would possible for Bran to ride. For a moment Robb felt his anger subside, this man was willing to help his brother. Was it because he cared or because he felt guilt? Robb watched as Bran became excited by the prospect of riding again, of being able to be on a horse again.
"The hospitality of Winterfell is yours." But Robb was only doing it because he helped Bran, and the Lannister knew it. He refused Robb, speaking of whores and how he could find welcome company among them. With that the man turned to leave but he quickly turned back around to Bran.
"I made a promise Bran that if I made it back here and you were awake I would tell you hello from Lyrina." Bran smiled at the mention of his friend, and Robb felt his blood boil again. "Speaking of my niece, have you spoken to her, my lord?"
"I am awaiting her reply as we speak." And that was it, that was all that was said between the two men. Robb could not begin to fathom what could be going on in the imps head, because he knew his own was a mess of questions.
Lyrina's P.O.V
" I do not want to go." Lyrina sat defiantly in her chamber, she refused to go back to the tournament. She did not wish to see more bloodshed and death. The image of the young knight continued to haunt her as she slept. Her father was standing in her door way, his face stern and unrelenting.
"Lyrina you have to go, I will have you dragged there if you do not get up out of that chair."
" I do not have to be there, all your other children will be there." Lyrina did not want to make an appearance, her siblings could do that for her. It did not make matters better that her handmaiden had told her a nasty rumor earlier that morning. The young girl had told Lyrina that a young knight who her mother was thinking of marrying her off to would be at the jousting match.
"Lyrina, we are going now, plus I plan to fight today." Lyrina stood up and glared at her father. There was no way in Seven Hells she was going to let him fight, not after yesterday.
"Fine, let's go." She allowed herself to go with him, plotting the whole way how she would make it so he could not joust or anything of the sort. Lyrina was not losing her father, not yet, not when he was one of the only people she could trust. Lyrina had been away from him for eleven years, and he thought he could just go into a tournament where someone had died, she would not allow that nonsense.
The whole way to the tournament Lyrina spoke to her father of how much she loved kings landing, it was a lie but she loved the way he smiled down at her. He was happy with the thought of her adjusting well, when in reality Lyrina wanted to be back in Winterfell. Just months from now she would be back in Winterfell, back with Bran, Rickon and Robb. She could not wait for those days, the days where she would be something more than just a princess. But what if her mother did send her off to be married, would she ever get to return to Winterfell? She would run away if she was forbidden to go back, she would run right back there and never leave. She would not marry someone her mother deemed her to marry.
Lyrina sat in her fathers tent while he tried to put on his armor, it made her giggle that it did not fit him. He must have gained weight since the last time her fought in anything, all the wine the king drank. Lyrina sat at the table and just wrote a letter to Winterfell, Robb had never replied to her last one, and she wondered if he had gotten it yet. She would write him another, she had so much to tell him, and of course she would write Jon again as well. She had received her reply from Jon the day before last and he was very receptive to her letter. He told she could not come hide away at castle black, said it would be unsafe around all those horrid men. He told her of his friends, and how he was safe to which Lyrina was grateful.
Soon Lord Stark entered the tent making Lyrina sit up straight and hide her letter. She knew she could trust the man, but she was on edge ever since the brothel. He was concerned over her family trying to harm his son, and she knew he could think she had something to do with it. She was part Lannister after all. She cringed as the two men spoke and her father began to belittle his squire. Lyrina did not mind the poor Lannister boy, he was always nice to her. Eventually Lyrina just blocked out the men and continued her letter to Robb. She doubted herself with each word, he had not responded to her other letter. Did he not wish to speak to her? Did his mother tell him about their Lannister suspicions, and did he think she was part of it? He couldn't possibly think Lyrina would have harmed Bran, or even allowed someone to do so.
"Lyrina, come on we will just watch I suppose." Her father sounded so disappointed but Lyrina was happy. He would not joust, he would not be harmed. As Lyrina got up to make her way out of the tent a thought crossed her mind. She thought of what her handmadian had told her that morning, and she had to know who the man was.
"Father, who is the knight out there that mother wants me to marry?" She did not want leave the tent without knowing. Lyrina had to know.
"Lyrina what are you speaking of? Your mother has no control of who you marry." Lyrina could see the worried glance her father shared with Lord Stark. There was something going on that she did know of, and that did not sit right with her.
"My handmaiden told me mother wanted me to marry a handsome knight who was in the jousting match today. Who is he?" Lyrina stood her ground.
"My fawn, I am telling you that your mother has no say in the man you marry." Her father sounded convinced but there was something in the way he looked that bothered Lyrina. He looked over at Lord Stark once more, and the man just nodded. Lyrina was growing annoyed with their silent conversation. "Your mother can not set you up for marriage, because you are already promised to another."
"What? Excuse me, but when did that happen?" Lyrina was livid, she was angry. Her father had plenty of chances to tell her of an arranged marriage.
"Lyrina, please calm down, it was set up a long time ago. The alliance your marriage will bring will be one of the strongest, please my fawn just be calm." Lyrina could not be calm. A long time ago, and he was just telling her now.
"Who? Who is my husband to be? Why haven't you told me until now?" She felt sick, she felt terribly sick. She had begun to imagine being with Robb and now her father was going to take that from her. She had become so close to him, so close to the only thing she ever imagined love was and her father was going to take it away.
"You will know it in time, and I did not want you to leave. I needed you to be with me, my fawn, I wanted to keep you safe." He was sincere but Lyrina did no care she was mad. She stormed up to him and smacked her father across the face. For a moment she stood there livid, an then she felt the reality set in of what she had done.
"You are selfish, and I can't stand to look at you right now." She was gone before her father could react. She was so angry, so hurt and just so confused. She was promised to marry someone and her father could not even tell her who. He was afraid she would leave his side,afraid she would run away. Of course she would and she would run away now too. She would stay in Kings Landing where she could hardly trust anyone.
She found a seat beside Sansa and for a moment she was not going to take it, she was thinking of sitting by her younger siblings but she decided against it. She did not want to even be near her father at the moment. When she sat down beside Sansa the young girl asked her what was wrong but Lyrina just shook her head. She did not want to worry Sansa with her anger, and soon they were joined by Lord Stark. Lyrina did not want to speak to him either, she was sure he knew of it too. She just wanted this whole thing to be over so she could do what needed to be done.
When the mountain rode out Lyrina could feel herself begin to shake, the man was terrifying. Seeing him just brought back the images she fought to forget, the blood, the feeling of being sick. She could not imagine that the next match would be any better than the day before. The other knight rode out and Lyrina was almost in awe of him also. He was like no man she had ever seen,his hair was long curly and blonde, he was beautiful. He rode up to where she was sitting with Sansa and handed the red head a beautiful rose. Lyrina saw Sansa blush and she could not help but smile to herself, it was sweet. She watched the mountain's horse react like a wild beast when the knight rode up, something was not right.
"He is beautiful." Sansa whispered and Lyrina just agreed. He was not the type of man Lyrina found attractive but she could not deny he was a thing of beauty. Watching the man she began to compare him to Robb, her brown haired, blue eyed handsome man. She longed to be with him again, and she knew if she did not leave Kings Landing she would never see him again. But he promised her she could return in a year, he promised her father had agreed. Was that her fathers wedding gift to her,letting her visit Winterfell one last time before she was sent off to marry someone else?
She felt so betrayed by her father, everything that had spent time building up was just yanked from under her. She deserved to know the truth. Did Robb know? He could not have known, he would not have allowed them to get so close, he would not have kissed her. She began to wonder how he would react to it, and she hopped he would keep her hidden.
As the two began to set up to joust Lyrina could hear Sansa whine and talk to her father about how she did not want to watch. Lyrina could understand, she did not exactly want to watch the match either. Ser Loras, seemed like a fine man and she worried the mountain would kill him as well. To her surprise ser Loras got the mountain of his horse, and Lyrina felt herself smile. She continued to smile as she heard an exchange between her uncle Renly and the man Littlefinger. She was very wary of that man still, and when he leaned over to whisper to Sansa, Lyrina felt her skin crawl. He was a horrid little man and she would never see him as other than that. All the smiles and laughter died down when the mountain grabbed his sword from his squire and went to attack the lovely knight.
"No, Stop it this instant." Lyrina was up and yelling at the man with the most authoritative voice she could muster. She was the damned princess, he better fucking listen to her. She was standing with her hands on the rope in front over yelling, but the mountain just ignored her. " I said Stop it."
Lyrina did not expect everyone else to remain silent, even her father as the man just attacked the knight. Lyrina could not stand there and let this horrible man kill someone else. She kept yelling, which eventually caused the mountain look over at her with great hatred as Lyrina saw Sandor run down the steps toward his brother. Lyrina fell back down in her seat as the two men began to fight, she was shaking and she did not know what to do. She felt Sansa wrap her arm around her and Lyrina just laid her head on her shoulder. She felt as if she had no control of anything, and everything was a mess around her. She was going to break before the day was through.
Her father eventually got the men to stop and it actually took a lot for Lyrina not to run down to check on Sandor. He had become a person to her, not just a guard and she hoped he was not harmed. She watched the knight of flowers name Sandor the victor, thanking him for saving his life. Lyrina just left after that, she asked Sansa to come with her. She wanted to be alone but Sansa was an innocent girl, she would not know anything. Lyrina needed her to come with her to make sure she was not required to have a guard, because she my like Sandor but Lyrina had no intention of going back to her room.
Lyrina let Sansa retreat back to her room while she herself continued to walk around. Her head was a mess, she was a mess. She had calmed down from earlier and was not nearly as angry at her father as she had been. It took her time to realize he had a the right to be afraid that she would run away, because she would. He had spent eleven years without seeing her, and when he finally had gotten her back she would have run away. He would of mentioned marriage and Lyrina would have been north of the wall before anyone could catch her. She was still bitter over the thought of marriage, she did not want to marry some random man her father thought suited her, he did not even know her. Lyrina was almost knocked to the ground as Arya coming running past her breaking Lyrina's concentration.
"Slow down, stranger." Arya looked up at Lyrina with a messy face. The girl looked like a street urchin, and for a moment Lyrina had to hold back a laugh.
"I have to see my father, please." Arya sounded desperate and Lyrina grew concerned. She asked the girl to tell her what was going on and in a moment Lyrina felt her world shake. Lord Stark was in danger, and no one could be trusted. Lyrina knelt down next to the girl making sure to look Arya in the eye.
"Do you trust me, Arya?" The young girl nodded and Lyrina knew that the bond between them was strong. "Go to your father and tell him everything, I know he has been looking for you for hours. I need you to go to your room after and stay there for just a little while. Arya I need to tell you something very important, I will meet you in your chambers just after nightfall." Lyrina kissed the top of Arya's head before taking off in the direction of the city. She had affairs to get into order before she made any plan to leave Kings Landing.
Lyrina had walked the city with Sandor a few times, he had been teaching her how to navigate the towns. He showed her all the places not to go, and all the secrets of the walls of Kings Landing. He was dumb in doing so, because by teaching her how to navigate it made her easier to sneak out without him. She moved through the shadows on the street avoiding anyone she could, and making sure not a single guard saw her. It took her no time at all to find the small area of blacksmiths, she needed weapons. She could not get them from her father, or anyone else so she would have to get them herself.
"Excuse me, I was wondering if I could have a dagger or a knife made, something small that I can keep hidden. Also do you have bow and arrows or would I have to go somewhere else for them?" Lyrina was not sure how weapons worked, she did not even know if she was asking fro the right things. All she knew was, sometime soon she may have to defend her friends.
"I can take care of the bow and arrow, I have a spare." it was not the old man in front of her who spoke, it was a young man in the back. He was tall, with slight muscles, his skin was tan and he had dark hair. Something about him struck a cord in Lyrina but she did not bring it up. The old man looked to the boy before looking back at Lyrina.
"We can make you the knife you seek, M'lady. Am I making it on your father's account or someone else?" Lyrina did not think of her father, he could not know of this.
"Mine, I have the gold for you. I just need to make sure you know this stays between us, no one can know." Lyrina looked over her shoulder as she felt like she was being watched.
"I understand. When do you need these by, m'lady?"
"I would say by sun down but I know that is rush for you. Just by tomorrow if it is at all possible." The old man nodded before turning back towards his apprentice. Lyrina put the gold down on the counter and thanked the men before she rushed back off. She would need to make it back to the keep before anyone would notice her absence. She only made it a few blocks before she felt a hand on her shoulder causing Lyrina to jump.
"Sorry, princess, but I wanted to tell you that I can get you the knife and bow before tomorrow. I can not get into the castle but I can meet you somewhere." Lyrina smiled att he young apprentice, the closer he was the more she felt odd. When he told her he could do it, she wanted to hug him, she had this overwhelming urge to hug him. She did not know him.
"Thank you, can you get to the stables? There is a horse, Alyris he is grey and I am sure if you ask the stable hand he will show you. I need you to put the weapons in there if you can there is a saddle bag." Lyrnia felt herself talking fast, she felt rushed and she made sure to be quiet.
"I can, I hope that whatever you plan on doing isn't too bad." The boy smiled at her and patted her head before running off. Something about him felt calming, but she knew she would never see him again. She just hoped she did misplace her trust, and that when she went to leave with Arya, and Sansa the weapons would be there.
Lyrina went to stop at her own chamber before heading to Arya's she wanted to get bed clothes and some other things. She had intention to sleep at Arya's for the night, and she planned to tell the young girl what she knew. When she reached her chamber the guard outside her door was different, he was not the normal guard her father had there. This man was different he was dressed as the guards she had usually seen with her uncle, Lannister men. She did not regard the man as she entered her chambers, she knew she could not trust him.
As Lyrina began folding some clothes to take with her, she felt herself begin to panic. Something was going wrong, she could feel it and something had to be done about. It was no longer just about the marriage her father did not tell her about, it was about someone threatening Lord Stark, and in turn his children. Someone in her family had already hurt a Stark, and she could not stand by while someone tried to hurt the two children who came to the capitol. She would get them back to Winterfell, even if she could not convince Lord Stark, she would get the girls out. Lyrina took the notes from Jon and the one from Robb adding them to her pile of clothing. Soon she would be ready to go.
As she was grabbing her robe off her bed Lyrina saw another note laying there. It had the same hand writing as the one telling her to be careful, and lyrina could feel more panic set in. She still had no idea who sent the first one, and now there was another. She was not going to read it at first, she even walked away putting her robe with her other things but she was drawn back to it.
What does a princess need from a blacksmith? Why is she talking to a young apprentice all alone on an empty street? Wonder what her mother would think, or her brother. Be careful.
The person had been watching her again, and it made Lyrina feel sick. Someone had so much sway they could watch her, and be in her room. She did not know who it could be, but judging by the Lannister guard outside her do she could guess it had something to do with her mother's family. Lyrina tore the note to pieces, letting them scatter around the floor before she grabbed her things. Someone else could clean that mess up.
"Where are you going?" The guard outside her door questioned as she left her door with the clothing.
"I am going to stay at Arya Stark's chambers for the night."
"No, you will not. You're mother and father are requesting your presence in your fathers chambers, now." Lyrina looked at the man startled. None of her other guards talked to her in such a way, they all regarded her with respect. Yet this man acted as if she was nothing, and for some reason that made Lyrina angry.
"I am your princess, and you shall address me as such." She was furious.
"When you start acting like a princess I will, now go see your parents before I escort you there myself." She glared that guard, he was a rude man. She stormed off in the direction of her father's chambers. She would go see him and then she would go see Arya, it was the simple.
When she got to her father's chambers she heard arguing behind the door and she hesitant on knocking. The guard outside her father's door just gave her a weak smile and knocked for her, before opening the door for her. When she walked in the room her parents were on opposite sides of the chamber and she could feel the anger in the air. She did not want to speak at first, she too was angry.
"Lyrina, we have a lot to discuss." It was her father who spoke and Lyrina nodded placing her clothes onto his desk. They did have a lot to discuss, but now was not the time.
"Lyrina you are not to spend anymore time with the Stark children, do you understand me?" Lyrina turned to her mother with a fire in her belly. Her mother was not going to tell her not to be around the only group of people in the kingdom she wanted to be around.
"No I do not understand you. I know them better than I know you mother, if I want to see Arya and Sansa I will."
"Cersei, Lyrina we are not going to argue right now. We need to talk to her in a calm manner and explain the situation." Her father was being the calm one for once and it shocked Lyrina. She was fuming mad, and he could see her mother was angry as well. Lyrina took a deep breath and sat in the chair in front of her father's desk, where the man had sat himself. They looked at each other as Lyrina heard her mother come up behind her. She was waiting for her father to explain himself, to explain why her mother was refusing to let her see her friends.
"Fawn, Lady Stark has arrested your uncle Tyrion. She believes he had something to do with lord Stark's son becoming a cripple, and an attempt on his life."
"I am sorry that she did that, but that does not change the fact that I wish to see my friends. Arya and Sansa knew me when I did not want to be your daughter, they accepted me as I was." Lyrina could only imagine what the arrest of her uncle would mean. No doubt Robb would know of it soon enough if he did not know already.
"That is not all the Stark family has done to this family." Lyrina looked at her mother in disgust. What they have done to her family, what about what her family has done to them?
"If lady Stark believes uncle Tyrion of pushing or trying to harm Bran then I believe her. He is fucking child mother, and if Uncle Tyrion is to blame so help me."
"Lyrina, please do not speak like that." She could not believe her father was trying to keep the peace, he must have been afraid of losing Lyrina. Afraid her anger at her mother would drive her from the family.
"Lord Stark attacked your uncle Jaime after leaving a brothel drunk." Lyrina knew that was a lie. Everyone who knew Lord Stark would know that was a lie, he rarely drank and he would never be in a brothel for sex. He loved his wife and Lyrina had seen that with her own damn eyes.
"That is still under investigation Cersei, your brother fled the city and his guards did slaughter Ned's men. Not to mention Ned is badly wounded and drinking milk of the poppy for the pain." Lyrina stood up from her chair put her hands on her father's desk.
"You are telling me uncle Jaime injured Lord Stark that much and you will not let me go see his children? That man helped raise your fucking daughter, me, because the man you sent me to treated me horridly. He is your best friend, the hand of the Kings and I can't go see his children?" She was shaking and not ready to back down.
"So much like her father." Lyrina spun around as she heard her mother mumble under her breath.
"I am so much like my father,mother? Why because I am passionate about seeing people who care about me? I am sorry that I am worried about them being alone in this time of need."
"And what of your family, do you not care about them? Your uncle was attacked and your other uncle is being held prisoner by a crazy woman."
"I care greatly for this family mother. I care for father, I care for Myrcella, Tommen and even fucking Joffrey. I care about you and my uncles but you can not ask me to not care about the Starks. For four years they were my family, for four years they helped me become something more than a broken mess. The broken mess your fucking father left me." Cersei just stared at her and Lyrina felt guilty for a moment, her mother looked as if she had just been slapped. The feeling faded when her mother's face went from any kind of compassion back to stone hearted bitch.
"Cersei leave us." Her father cut the silence between her and her mother. Once Cersei was gone Lyrina sat bad down in front of her father, she was still unhappy with him for the marriage thing but something else was terribly wrong and she had to be focused.
"Lady and Lord Stark would not do something if they did not feel they had proof, father. They are honorable people you need to trust that." Her father just sighed, putting his head in his hands.
"It's all gone to shit. I wanted Ned here because I trusted him, he is like a brother to me but he quit. He quit hand of the king and I said horrible things to him. He had been so good to you, to my daughter, and instead of worrying about that I told him off. He is an honorable man, and I know he would not do anything to ruin that." Lyrina reached her hand out and touched her fathers arm.
"I know this has to be hard for you father, he is your closest friend. Not only have you two grown up together but you went to war together. You defended each other and now you feel as if he betrayed you." Lyrina began to scare herself at how easy she could switch from anger to compassion. Her voice changed into that of a caring mother, and she was beginning to scare herself.
"I thought being king would be different, but it is shit."
"I know father, but give this time to blow over. Talk to Lord Stark when he is feeling a little better, and in the mean time I will be spending time with his children." Lyrina smiled at her father, her tone gentle but her words strong. Her father just looked at her with a stressed face.
"We need to talk about earlier, my fawn." When I slapped you? Lyrina just nodded at her father. "I did not mean for it to be some kind of secret, but when the pact was made between families it was a secret. The boys parents, myself and the high Septon are the only ones who knew of it. I just did not want you to leave because you thought I was going to just ship you off again."
"I know father, I overreacted. I just have always had this vision of what my life was going to be like, you tainted my mind with stories of true love. I am sure whoever he is I will come to love him." Lyrina still wanted to know the mans name, not that she had intentions to go through with it. She was still going to run, she just had to time it better.
"I promise you will, and I promise I will tell you who is once this all blows over. I am going on a hunt soon, and when I get back I will tell you everything. I promise." Her father had stood up and walked around the table to kiss her on the head. "Now go see the Stark girls, I am sure they need a friend."
Lyrina took her things and left her fathers room, the day just kept escalating. She was on her way to the tower of the hand when she ran into her mother, Lyrina stopped for a moment and just looked at the woman. She did not look the same as she had in her father's chambers, this woman looked weak. Her mother was good at putting on a face when she had to. Lyrina went to walk past her mother but the woman stopped her.
"Lyrina, what happened with your grandfather I never meant for that. If I had known, I would have.."
"You would have brought me back mother? I am sure you would have, but you didn't." Lyrina wanted to walk from her mother but something kept her glued there.
"I am sorry, daughter, I really am." Her mother hugged her. Her mother had not hugged her since they were reunited and it felt off to Lyrina. She did not trust her mother, she had her suspicions about her mother. If both of her uncle hurt members of the Stark family, she was sure her mother was not different. But the woman was still her mother, so she could fake it.
"It is in the past mother, now please excuse me I want to check on Arya. Can you tell Myrcella I won't be in to read her a story, maybe tomorrow." Once a week Lyrina would read Myrcella a story and she would have done it that night but other things were important. Her mother nodded and Lyrina walked away, she needed to see that Arya and Sansa were being looked after.
Cersei did not care that Tyrion had been arrested but Jaime did, and because Jaime did she had to as well. She was not surprised when Jaime went after Ned Stark, she thought he would have killed him but he did not. Jaime must have thought the only way to get their brother back was to send a message to the Lord. Robert would not take kindly to Jaime beating up his friend, but Cersei would see to it that the king saw it her way. Her father was needed by the king and if Robert wanted his money to continue his ways, he would have to listen to Cersei. Her other issue would come in at their daughter, their perfect little daughter. Nothing Lyrina did bothered Robert, and it angered Cersei. She heard Lyrina had slapped Robert and he did nothing to her, but what Cersei couldn't understand was why her. Lyrina was gone for eleven years but she was the child he chose to love. He ignored Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen but he doted on Lyrina. The same could be said for herself though, she did love all her children, she had to admit she took care of Joffrey just a little bit more. But she was going to ensure he was king and he had to be ready.
Cersei was livid when she was with Robert arguing over the whole situations, he let the Starks have too much power. She was sure that Ned was catching on to the children just as Jon Arryn had and soon he would know Jaime pushed his child. The intent was never for the child to live, let alone be a cripple. When Cersei had first heard she had felt bad, being a mother herself, but that lasted only a moment when she realized the boy could tell them what he saw. She had to make sure that the boy kept quiet, or she had to make sure that nothing the Starks said was believable.
Cersei was yelling at Robert about Jaime when Lyrina came in, she looked calm but Cersei could see it in the way she walked. She was very much like her father, she let her emotions get the better of her. It only took a moment for her daughter to turn viscous and begin yelling at her. She could see that fire in her eyes as she yelled, and looked at her with hate. Cersei tried to remain passive, but with each moment she could feel herself ready to snap. Her child stood their arguing for the people who were destroying their family, she stood there with that damned wolf necklace defending them. Lyrina was her daughter but in that moment Cersei felt like she wasn't. Robert tried to keep the two of them calm but it really did not work, harsh words were shared between the two.
When Lyrina brought up what Cersei's father had done to her, the way she said it, the emotion in her voice killed Cersei. She never wanted Lyrina to be broken, she wanted her to be strong. Her intentions were to keep her strong and keep her safe. But her guilt only lasted a moment and it only lasted at all because the child was of her own womb. When she was shooed of the room Cersei began to reflect again. She wished she had killed the damn girl, but in the same breath she was glad she hadn't. It was a double edged sword, she would just have to hope that over time she could teach the girl that Lannister blood was all that mattered.
Cersei tried to apologize to Lyrina when she had exited Robert's but at first it did not go as planned. But as her daughter spoke Cersei noticed it, the way her voice changed, the way her expression changed. She went from hateful, to calm and caring, that was when Cersei knew. Cersei knew as her daughter walked away, that maybe they were more alike than she thought. Her daughter knew how to show people what they wanted, she knew how to be the version of herself that people wanted. At least the version of Lyrina that her family wanted to see, she had no doubt that the real her was saved for private moments with the Starks. Cersei knew though that her daughter would either become a valuable resource in the coming months, or she would be a deadly enemy. And she hoped for her daughters sake that family came before anything else.
A/N: I am so very sorry for the length, and I am sure some parts seem pointless but they won't later on. Like her interaction with Renly plays a part later, and her actually not hating Sandor. Also yeah my failed attempt at sex lol I am going to get better at those things when it comes time for Lyrina and Robb to do the fun stuff lol. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter.