Thessia
Using thumb and forefinger, Sanar gently pressed the fish fillets. They felt right to her so she removed them from the grill and set them on the plates she had prepared. Nyrine had not returned yet so she placed the plates on the protected warmers on the kitchen table and went to clean up the rest of the apartment. The cleaning bots took care of the floor and bathroom daily but not the furniture and the bed covers. All of which showed more than a month's neglect; a thick layer of dust. The apartment was neither her own or Nyrine's but it would soon be occupied by the original owners. She preferred to leave it in the clean condition they found when they moved in.
The apartment was almost gleaming when a soft chime sounded. The swish of the door announced Nyrine's return.
"Dinner's ready," she said without looking up from the coffee table she was wiping in the living room.
"Be right back."
A swipe at the final corner. She regarded the shiny coffee table critically. Satisfied, she tossed the dirty cloth into the recycler, cleaned her hands and went to warm up the sauce. As the sauce began to heat up, she checked the pot of herbs steeping at the side of the stove. The colour was just right. Nyrine came in as she poured the sauce on the fillets. She stared in shock and surprise at the table.
"Goddess, I thought there was something wrong with my nose. You didn't say you're going to cook." Nyrine inhaled the aroma appreciatively and sat down. "It's been so long."
"I know," Sanar said feelingly as she sat at the table, feeling the plaints from her stomach. "I happened to see the fresh stock they were breaking out at the canteen and filched some. Mmmm..." The fresh taste of crispy greens left her humming.
"This is really good," Nyrine exclaimed after swallowing a bite of succulent fillet. Nothing was said for several minutes. When she came up for air, there was nothing left on her plate. Nor on Sanar's plate when she looked across. She sipped her cup of tea, feeling more relax than she had ever felt in recent years. "Thank you. I've forgotten how fresh food taste like."
"We need it," Sanar sighed as she leaned back in her chair, "we'll turn into one of those sticks of stiff humus if I don't do something."
"I couldn't agree more," Nyrine said. "To come home to such a meal is a sign of a new turn."
Sanar nodded in silent agreement. The past weeks was a numbing routine of getting up, gulping down a simple MRE, going to the outskirts of Kalice, Sharzis and Armali to oversee the search and recovery of bodies. They come home to another bland offering of MRE and falling into bed. The offerings at the canteen wasn't all that stimulating either for the past weeks; no one had any appetite for more than soup, salads and fruits.
"How long before they tell them to come home, do you think?" she said after several minutes of peaceful contemplation of a homeworld that would soon be bustling with positive purpose again.
"We aren't finding any more remains at the outlying hamlets so I would say not long. Clearing up the rest of the planet is going to take a long time but I think that's not going to be an immediate concern. Time and nature will take care of the disintegration while resettlement is going on. Perimeter defense is going to stay up for a few more years however," Nyrine continued musingly.
"I think most people need more time adjust to the change." Reaching for a bunch of orange coloured fruit globules from the fruit bowl, Sanar munched them slowly. "We need to be absolutely certain they're all gone. Another three years?"
"Two possibly, given the rate of atrophy on those found living," Nyrine said quietly.
Speaking of those TI found still alive was no longer difficult or brought any spasms of pain and tears. After so many weeks of handling hordes of them, a great number barely alive, grief had turned to numbness. Most had come to terms, including herself. Now there was only muted sorrow.
"Three more years for Thessia to be completely cleared of reaper wrecks but that is an estimation. It hardly matters when expansion would be cautious."
"We're fortunate," Sanar muttered, "the effect here is weak. I think the turians and vorcha have to endure another week of savagery."
"Shepard's hypothesis is right on target. Other than them, the rest are having a quiet clean up." Nyrine said. "It will soon be over, the future looks set. It will get better."
That was something Sanar really looked forward to. Rebuilding with no lingering fear and doubts. Instead, there would be peace, hope and progress.
"I've been hearing some rumours. Do you think the new doctrine will stay?"
Nyriine knew what rumours she was referring to. "Conservatives have much to lose if they refuse to heed the calls for change. Although the successes we enjoyed have been few, most realise they do work despite our inexperience. The new doctrine will stay," she said confidently, "but I do not think we will abandon our strengths either."
"We should look into more cooperative training efforts with our allies," Sanar said thoughtfully. "The turians are good fighters in the air and on land but their regiments and doctrine are somewhat rigid. The salarians and humans are more versatile and innovative."
"We do indeed need more military congress with the humans. They learned much from internal conflicts before they stepped onto a bigger stage. They adapt quickly. "
Popping the last fruit nto her mouth, Sanar twirled the denuded stalk in her hands. "I wonder if Shepard wouldn't take up another spell with us. I know she's on active duty," she added quickly before Nyrine could answer, "but I'm sure she would be taking regular leave, especially now she has two children."
"Really, Sanar, asking her to work when she's on leave to spend time with her family?" Nyrine chided.
"Utterly selfish of me I know but you know the effect she has on the recruits."
"With more than half of them falling head over heels for her it's a wonder we had anything done," Nyrine said dryly.
"Other than that," Sanar said reprovingly while keeping a straight face, "you know Shepard shook them out of it."
"She certainly did drill them out of their dreams," Nyrine chuckled when she recalled the first training session Shepard conducted. The utter shock and shambles of the recruits' response to the start of an aggressive training regime was something the youngsters never envisioned. "And got them hopping."
Sanar giggled. "Priceless. You want a copy of her intro?"
Nyrine sat up in astonishment. "No, you recorded it?" At Sanar's affirmative nod, her eyes glinted. "You know damn well I'd want one."
"Done," Sanar grinned. "Gallia is good but Shepard has a different touch."
"She challenges and inspires the recruits in subtle ways," Sanar said reflectively. "I wonder if this is an exemplative trait of their elite corps."
"I don't think we'll be able to get any of them here to spread their wisdom. They have suffered losses."
"True." Nyrine sighed. "We can always ask for her input if she's available."
After a glance at the chronometer, Sanar got up and began to collect the plates. "Speaking of Shepard, I've got a letter to write."
"Why don't you let me clean up? You cooked dinner after all," Nyrine said.
"Thanks. There'll be a lot to do when Hiaras comes back," Sanar said with a dreamy look.
No doubt thinking of future halcyon days with her prospective bondmate. Nyrine smiled indulgently and made a shooing gesture. "Get on with you. I'd expect a sumptuous spread at your bonding reception," she added just as Sanar was about to exit the kitchen.
"I'd expect the same from yours."
"What're you talking about?" A perplexed frown creasing her brow, Nyrine stared at Sanar.
"Haven't you been looking into Dr Thorton's eyes recently?" Sanar shook her head in disbelief at the bemusement in Nyrine's expression. "I suggest doing so if you haven't 'cause he can't take his eyes off you. Seriously, Nyrine, you should think of yourself for once and relax." With an impish grin, she left the kitchen.
Citadel
The embassies were filled and bustling again, Shepard noted as she made her way through the embassy wing on the Citadel. Clear signs that travel restrictions in Citadel space would lift soon. People and business would flood back. The marines at the entrance to the human embassy braced to attention at her approach.
There was no one in the lobby. The receptionists were preoccupied as she glanced around. A lieutenant appeared as if summoned by magic from nowhere, ushered her into one of the back offices and vanished just as quickly. There was no one in the room except a silver haired uniformed officer standing at the windows.
"Admiral Hackett."
Hackett turned away from the window and returned her salute. "Shepard, take a seat," he said, gesturing her to the couch. He looked her over critically and was pleased with what he saw. She in turn was similarly assured with the air of health and good colour of his face. "Congratulations on the latest addition to the family roster."
"Thank you, sir. Unexpected but totally welcome," she said as she sat down.
"I gather there's no question on her origin?" he said as he sat down across from her. "The room is secured," he added when she hesitated, her eyes flicking to their environs.
"She's not a clone, sir. Dr Chakwas postulated the process was a mix of clone and surrogacy procedures. As in," she continued when he looked enquiringly at her, "taking an egg from one of the clones, replacing the nucleus with a recent genetic sample of mine and fertilised in the usual manner. As to the surrogacy, she couldn't be certain how it was done. There's barely two months from the time I went to the core to that final conversation with Greenacres."
"The child has the new gene composition."
"Yes sir. There is no sign of any foreign device or substance associated with Reaper nanites."
"But you have some misgivings," Hackett noted.
"Greenacres may have created her out of emotional predilection but she could be an unknowing pawn in a future conflict. I hope she is not but it's not something I can dismiss."
"That is a legitimate concern but it is also a drawback in the shaping of the child's development if it overshadows rapport," Hackett cautioned.
"I'll not hold back," Shepard said firmly. "I'll give her all I have but that is a particular apprehension I have to keep in mind."
"How has she taken to you?" he asked curiously.
"Greenacres went through a lot of trouble that she does. We found recordings in the cryo unit which we believed were played out to the child during gestation and her journey. Body rhythms within the chamber that Dr Chakwas identified as akin to mine. Recited children stories in a voice that sounded like mine."
"They used a clone to record them," he said, brows raised in inquiry.
"The body rhythms, yes but the stories-," Shepard grimaced unhappily, "I think they were recited by the clone that tried to replace me. Perhaps they were recorded during the rehabilitation process the clone went through."
"He wanted to make sure the child recognises you as her mother," he said musingly. "Does Dr Chakwas have any explanation for the gestation discrepancy?"
"She think it's an unknown process or device that accelerated growth. She's not certain if it would affect the child physically as she develops at the normal rate."
"Would Greenacres have taken such a risk?"
That was a strong concern for Shepard. "I wish he hadn't," she said. "We'll keep a close eye on her. She is a few months younger than Delenn."
"That is a level of technological expertise that's amazing and troubling. How much time do you think we need in order to advance to that level?"
"On our own, maybe a century to reach shouting distance?" Shepard guessed. "It's difficult to assess how much they have assimilated. Perhaps it's just a tap on the surface to build a device that gestated the child."
"If they're going to another galaxy, they have to be using a colony ship. What's your take on it?"
"It's hard to say sir. The Milky Way is largely unexplored. We wouldn't be able to find them even if we launched geth probes everywhere. It would take decades. More than enough time for them to establish viable colonies and build a strong fleet. There has to be something they found that is more enticing than setting up shop here. If the Leviathan of Dis survived for so long, there's a high probability that Cerberus could have found some sort of ark like vessel. Big enough to carry people and ships."
"Where do you suppose it came from?"
"It could have been a remnant of another ancient race, built in response to a Reaper invasion. It could also be part of a plan to explore, migrate, who can say. There's one outstanding factor Greenacres spoke of that we must heed. There's a lot more information out there that could be found. If we are to find them, survey and archaeological expeditions have to be extensive and robust."
Certain Citadel conventions had to be reworked too but she made no mention of the obvious since that was out of her league.
"Given the current state of affairs, that is something to be looked into further down the line."
"I know, sir, but the existence of the Reapers. Their technology of traversing space and vast distances put the question of external galactic incursion an extreme probability." Hackett's receptive expression invited her to carry on. "We have no idea of the Reapers' origin, where they come from. If they were themselves an evolved species or created by someone else. If there's one, then there's likely to be more. They may be friendly but that is an uncertain aspect to stake the future on. We need information."
"You consider outside incursions more likely than internal conflicts?"
"Internal conflicts will never go away. The geth may turn, the krogans may once again take to war to increase their territories. It's inevitable that old problems would crop up again unless something is done to address them."
That was the Council's hot coal. She hoped they did remember the cause of the Krogan Rebellions and come up with a solution before it happened again.
"We may even find ourselves fighting one another. It's hard to say but we should try to prevent such an incursion which is why I think the Council should form vanguard forces of allied ships."
"A vanguard against?" He eyed her intently.
"With the withdrawal of navy presence after the war, there is no check on outlaw movements, giving rise to increased criminal activities and expansion. Surviving colonies in the Terminus Systems are vulnerable. The vanguard forces could trim down those activities and remove the pirate menace. More trade routes will reopen, make safe with regular patrols and extensive surveys of the region."
"Those who live in the Terminus Systems are there to deny Council authority," Hackett said. "They tolerated our presence because we kept our patrols close to human colonies. Since they were left to defend themselves in the Reaper War, I doubt their perception has changed. I expect their cynicism to harden enough to rival plasteel. A revival of Council presence can only fan resentment and fear for their independence, provoking them into taking up an alliance with the very organizations we want to remove."
"What if there is something out there they should fear more than losing their independence," she said cautiously, wondering how he would react to what she was going to say.
His brows shot up. "What do you mean?"
"Ambassador Raltania has given me a reply in regards to an audience with the Rachni Queen. The Queen prefers to keep a low profile. The scientific and technological collaborations are enough to maintain a presence. She does not wish to call attention to their military capabilities. The Rachni ships on patrol around the Citadel will withdraw when the station resume normal status."
She paused for a moment as she recalled the look in the ambassador's eyes; they weren't quite normal. There was a hint of an echo when she spoke, much like that time when she spoke to the asari commando at the Binery Helix labs on Noveria. She doubted the queen was anywhere nearby. The ability to speak through her representative through vast distances said much about the queen's abilities.
"She emphasized on understanding the need for a unified front," she continued. "But the Queen will not allow outside forces that nearly brought about their extinction to dictate the fate of her children. They will maintain a constant surveillance but they're not intending on broadcasting such a fact. She has all but tell me they will remain a shadow force to be called upon when needed. I think it will work to our advantage."
Hackett stared at her as if seeing her for the first time. "That has merit but it can also backfire if the pirates and mercenaries take it into their heads to look for those unknown ships."
"It's not going to make any difference because the Rachni ships are already out there for the past year," she revealed.
Hackett frowned at that surprising revelation.
"I do not know if they have been spotted but I suspect they may have been. News of mysterious ships is possibly rippling through the underground rumor mill in the outer sectors."
"Hmmm," Hackett said reflectively.
"We're getting reports of criminal activities over Pubnews. This is a good time as any to reach out to the colonies and find out the causes of the activities. For all we know, there could be scattered TI remnants making trouble." She leaned forward to make her point. "This is an opportunity to secure a foothold in the Terminus Systems. If we can get that, those colonies may be amiable to providing supply and port facilities once they see an improvement in security and trade picking up."
"That may convince a few more."
"I think it's better than none, sir. If they're reminded of the Reapers who came from outside the galaxy. If they could see the possibility of further threats, the rest may fall in. At this point of time, sir, the memory is still fresh. It's best to act on it."
He didn't refute the point. "What kind of fleet components do you have in mind?"
"Frigates will form the major composition with a few cruisers which will be supplemented by the destroyer class once it is introduced. The fleet can also serve as an extensive arm and reinforcement of the Spectres."
Hackett's eyes widened. That was certainly unexpected. He straightened, keen to hear her reason. "Why?"
"Spectres often operate alone. There are occasions when a situation requires the Spectre to take drastic measures," she said grimly. "Sometimes unorthodox solutions are resorted to as a means to achieve a positive result due to lack of resources and reinforcements. Having something to call upon could cut down such incidents."
"But there's more, isn't there?" he guessed.
She smiled. "They could act as eyes and ears for spectres and alert them if they find anything that needs looking into. Keep tabs on them, if they can. Saren went rogue without anyone knowing because no one was keeping track of his activities. That is a mistake that should be rectified."
Nodding in agreement, Hackett smiled warmly. "Your suggestion of the vanguard fleet fit in the shell of one of many changes we're thinking of making to personnel deployments."
"Changes?"
"We lost many ships but Navy recruitment has not slackened so we're finding ourselves having too many trained personnel with no shipboard and battle experience and nowhere to send them. Admiral Langdon suggested military cooperation with our allies to include personnel exchanges."
Shepard's breath caught. It was a great idea though no doubt the old diehards back home would think it radical. Foreign armsmen aboard Alliance ships? Sacrilege! She could well imagined the howls ringing through the Admiralty Board.
"It's not going to see favour with some of our allies." She frowned, thinking of the turians. Some of them would be on the same wagon as the diehards. "It's going to be difficult enough to try to fit in some of them especially with environment and health issues."
If the krogans hopped onboard, incidents were bound to happen.
"If the Council approve of the vanguard taskforce, we could try experimenting with a single fleet and see how it turns out." Hackett rubbed his bearded jaw absentmindedly as he turned the idea over in his head for the umpteenth time. "No doubt it'll take some time to iron out some sort of agreement on the matter of personnel but the taskforce is a prudent and urgent measure that must be carried out as soon as possible. There will be other changes too to military treaties. Much needed changes. Now," he cleared his throat, indicating a change in subject. "Have you come to a decision on your career choice?"
"I have, sir, I'm taking the wet."
"Why?" he asked curiously, hiding a smile.
"Being in the marine vanguard has its perks. I've seen a lot and the war-," she looked down at her hands clasped in her lap for a moment, thinking of those days before looking up, "is more than I or anyone expected. I'd prefer a slower and even pace."
She didn't bother to bring up the fact that she had a family now, Hackett would understand. That was another factor to take herself out of the marine corps, out of ground pounding unknown worlds and putting herself at the fore front of every landing mission. Commanding a ship wasn't any less perilous but it did reduce the risk percentage. That didn't mean she wouldn't be called on to lead ground forces if there was need.
Choosing the navy only meant she would specialise in commanding warships and fleets. Eventually, she could end up on the Admiralty Board and perhaps in charge of the Systems Alliance since she was one of the Cross Service Personnel or Crosscuts (CSP); personnel trained and active in both marine and navy doctrine and specialties. Only CSPs made it to the apex of the pyramid though that wasn't her objective when she chose to sign up.
Hackett nodded. "ATC classes should be up and running by the time you're officially affirmed. The Council meeting is scheduled to convene in two days. Enough time for you to prepare your proposal."
Taken aback, Shepard stared at him in surprise. "Sir?"
"If you want to kickstart it as fast as possible, it's better coming from you," he grinned at her bemusement. "The military leaders will know where you're coming from. That's more than half the battle won so make sure you plug up any plausible leaks and give them an airtight case. My aide will forward the time and venue."
She stood as he got to his feet. "Yes, sir."
"I'll see you in two days," he nodded at her in dismissal. "Shepard," he added as she saluted and turned to go. "I look forward to more input from you."
Citadel
Civilian Departure Lounge
Hiaras insisted on accompanying Liara when she knew she intended to see Feron off. She put no credence in Greenacres's claim that the drell was worked over to act only as a messenger. Since the drell refused to seek help in defining the exact nature of that control, it compromised his credibility. The departure lounge was a huge area divided up into screened sections. Usually it would be an active noisy area but today, it was quiet.
The sales and service booths were inert but the screens were active with the status of arriving ships. With the embargo lifted, merchant freighters were now beetling for the station, bringing in fresh supplies, merchants and traders anxious to return quickly to get their business going again. Passenger liners were not evident yet though they would not be far behind once present and potential residents were screened and approved for station resettlement. The lounge was empty except for C-Sec officers standing guard at numerous exits. With only one screen lit up over an exit door, it was easy to locate the drell on the seats near it.
Feron looked up at their approach, closed down his omni-tool and stood. "Hello, Liara. Major." His posture was rigid, as if he was holding himself in check.
Hiaras scrutinised him carefully. The wretched and angry aura about him did not burn as brightly as the first time they met in the garden. It was still there but tempered. For the moment. She nodded but made no reply to his greeting.
"Feron, are you sure you want to do this?" Liara asked unhappily.
She had spent great effort over the past weeks, trying to persuade him to seek help from asari counselors but he refused without citing any reason. Nor did he display any desire to talk about his ordeal or his feelings and had mostly isolated himself. She felt she couldn't see him go without one last attempt.
"It's many years since I left Kahje, it's time I go back," he said without inflection.
"Do you think the hanar can help?"
"It will help," he looked away. "Going home."
"I am sorry."
"Stop that."
The sudden hiss startled Liara. She took a step back when he turned back to her, fury blazing from his eyes. He looked as if he was going to shout at her but visibly controlled himself with effort.
"Stop saying that. It probably helps you to feel better but does it change anything about my situation? Does it help me in any way?"
"I-." Dismayed, Liara couldn't think of anything to say.
"You are afraid," Hiaras said.
Feron glared venomously at her.
"I cannot trust myself any more nor can I trust any of you. If I stay here-," he broke off, to stare at the viewing windows. "If I stay here or go to Thessia, be certain it will turn into something else. Though I said I do not blame you-," he looked back at Liara, his gaze icy, "it is not true. I hate you, I hate the whole lot of you for you put me in this predicament. The words you speak only fan the flames. It stokes the part of me that wills that I act on it. Another part of me speaks of reason. Speak no more platitudes if you wish me to leave in peace. Let me go and find my own answers."
While Liara was stunned into silence, Hiaras was pleased that the drell had finally unleashed his feelings. Though she understood Liara's desire to help her friend, her attitude of guilt and responsibility was overly inordinate and dangerously reminiscent of the unbalance that plagued her in the last several years.
Though the words hurt, Liara felt as if a fog had lifted. With a sinking heart, she recognised the early signs of the cloying malaise that held her after the war.
I thought I would not be caught again but clearly I am wrong. Telienos said I must temper guilt and hold it a distance. I have failed. I have failed Feron too. I should have encouraged him to speak of the pain but instead I only have been pouring and pushing my own conscience on him.
Finding her voice again, she said without any hint of pleading or guilt. "Will you write?"
"I make no promises."
A soft chime sounded. The station V.I. announced the arrival of the shuttle that would rendezvous with a turian courier that dropped off some personnel to the turian fleet and would pass Kahje on its mission run. He grabbed his duffel on the seats.
"Goodbye." He did not look at them as he walked to the exit.
Hiaras put a comforting hand on Liara's arm as they watched him vanished through the door. "It's the best thing he could have done."
Liara nodded. "He may not know it but his words showed me I was slipping back into that mental astasia. I thought I climbed out of but I am still prone to overweening guilt trips. He saved me again."
"It takes time to recover. You're doing very well if you recognise it. It will not plague you so much in future," Hiaras said confidently. "What do you want to do about him?"
"He is angry and hates me. Perhaps anyone associated with me, most likely the asari because of what we can do. He may think Greenacres used an asari thrall to do something to him. His ability to trust is in tatters. That is why he does not want any help from us."
Turning around, Liara walked slowly to the exit that led to the lifts. "I doubt he will write. If he manages to recover, perhaps he will. I will see ask my contacts on Kahje to send regular updates on him."
"It's best not to lose track of him."
"I know." Liara smiled at the faint skepticism in the look Hiaras sent her. "I have children, Hiaras. I must think of them, of Shepard, of the asari. If he cannot recover, he could turn against us. I cannot let that happen."
"You will go far," Hiaras declared.
Liara laughed softly. "I hope so." Shrugging off the sombre mood as they stepped into the lift, she said brightly, "I am so looking towards going home."
"As are we all," Hiaras returned fervently.
"Have you arranged a date yet?"
"There're numerous applicants waiting in line so it's Sub-solstice at the earliest."
"I have a better idea. How about combining it with our Full Advent?" Liara suggested.
Hiaras stared at her in surprise. "But the costs, the venue-," she stuttered, thinking of the numbers that would turn up. The logistics would be a nightmare to handle.
"The T'Soni estate can accommodate hundreds. The cost to you is less than what you would have to spend. Moreover, the arrangements of Full Advent is not finalised yet, it will be easy to slot in the bonding ceremony. Hiaras," Liara said earnestly when the commando remained undecided, "you are friend and have served Aethyta for so long, it is no less than what you deserved. Aethyta will insist on it."
"Then, thank you!" Hiaras gave the surprised younger asari an enthusiastic hug. "I can't wait to tell Sanar!"