Crazy Day

*Roman's POV*

I would love to say it started like any other day, but it didn't. Dean was chasing AJ around the kitchen with a large container of strawberry ice cream screaming, "Eat it, biatch!" And as always AJ was yelling, "Dude, I told you a million times I HATE STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM!" Renee was busy watching Dora the Explorer while drinking chocolate milk even though she's lactose intolerant. Seth and Paige were on my back porch doing God-knows-what. And I, being the only sane one in the group was trying to clean up everyone's messes.

I heard a loud, girlish scream coming from the kitchen, which I recognized as belonging to AJ. I ran into the kitchen just as AJ barreled past me. I caught him by the arm and spun him around. "WHAT IS GOING ON?" I demanded.

"Smell for yourself!" AJ simply said before rushing off to the family room. I took one whiff and almost lost consciousness. "DEAN! YOU'VE BEEN EATING BRUSSELL SPROUTS AGAIN, HAVEN'T YOU?!" I yelled.

"They're just so yummy," replied Dean as he popped another brussell sprout in his mouth.

I took another whiff and ran out of the kitchen, knocking Renee onto the floor in the process. "Where do you think you're going, snack-pants?" I asked.

"To get more chocolate milk."

"Hon, you're gonna kill yourself if you keep drinking that shit."

"Don't care." She stood up and started to go into the kitchen.

"Don't go in there if you value your life!" I warned.

"Geez, I just wanted one more glass of it."

"It's not that. Dean farted."

"So? It's a normal body function that we all do."

"He's been eating brussell sprouts."

Renee screamed and ran back into the family room.

When I entered the family room, Renee was yelling, "VAMANOS, DORA! VAMANOS! IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE MAP! WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME?"

AJ, who was sitting next to her, asked, "Can I please change the channel?"

Renee growled and grabbed the collar of AJ's shirt, pulling him so close that their noses were touching. "WE'LL CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL WHEN DORA REACHES THE BANANA TREE!"

"Um…Renee? You're breaking my zone of comfort," AJ said.

"Your voice sounds like the chorus of a thousand angels," Renee purred seductively.

"If you don't back off, my foot is gonna feel like the chorus of a thousand—"

"Guys? Where are the other two idiots?" I interrupted.

Dean came waltzing in with a box of chocolate chip cookies. Grabbing one from the box, he took a bite of a cookie and sat down between AJ and Renee. Renee took a sip of chocolate milk and said, "Eew, chocolate. I hate chocolate."

Dean gasped. "You disgraceful bitch."

"Ooh! Cookies!" Renee squealed, completely ignoring Dean's comment.

Sighing exasperatedly, I went out onto the back porch to see what Seth and Paige were up to.

The two were on the back porch grilling…pizza rolls. Paige was rubbing frozen pizza rolls on her body seductively, while purring in a deep voice, "I'm…too sexy for the pizza…too sexy for the pizza…so sexy…I'll eat ya…"

I stared in confusion for a minute before saying, "Dude. What the fuck…"

Inside the door burst open. ''WAZ UP BABY!?'' Charlotte had arrived. She plopped down next to Dean and ate a cookie straight out of his mouth.

"Hey! That was my cookie!" He said indignantly.

"Yeah, but you got to admit, it was pretty hot." Charlotte replied.

"True, true …"

Ignoring the commotion inside, I stopped Paige's "I'm Too Sexy" pizza roll dance by grabbing the frozen rolls of pizza sauce-filled dough and chucking them about twenty feet across the backyard.

"Dude!" she squealed. "You chucked my rolls!"

"I did not 'chuck' your rolls," I replied. "I simply tossed them."

"What did you 'simply toss'?" AJ asked, coming to the back patio.

"He chucked my rolls!" Paige yelled.

AJ started to giggle and I said, "Oh, grow up."

All of a sudden, Charlotte popped up out of nowhere and kissed Seth on the mouth.

Seth realized that he'd just been kissed and said, "Wow. I'm hungry." Then he waltzed over to the grill, grabbed a pizza roll, and stuffed it in his pants.

Renee appeared on the back porch crying and sniffling.

"What's with you?" I asked.

"D-Dora's been canceled," she sobbed.

Seth began kicking the grill while screaming, "OH MY GOD! WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!"

I walked back inside to the living room and changed the channel to MTV.

Dean came in and said to me, "Charlotte and I are engaged!"

"To do what?"

"To be married!"

END
STORY #3 COMING SOON