The Talk
The day after Connie botched their mission Pearl drove Steven into town. She was ominously silent as they went into town. She said nothing as she dropped Steven at his father's carwash. Greg was standing there with a dark look on his face. He motioned to a deck chair and Steven reluctantly sat down.
"This is about the Connie thing isn't it," sighed Steven.
"Yes Peridot told the Gems everything. You're not in any trouble and I'm not angry at you. I'm just angry."
"Oh Dad it was just awful. Connie was acting all weird. I mean she's just a little girl I see that now."
"I think it's time I gave you the talk."
"Daad you already did. Even about the birth control bits," the boy blushed. He stared down at his feet.
"I mean the other talk about feelings and relationships."
Steven looked the question was in his eyes. Greg continued, "First off women are people. You cannot own them. That's a lesson that many guys I know never caught on. There are their own persons with thoughts and needs of their own.
The gems are trying to make you grow up I'm not against it but growing up means dealing with thoughts and feelings that are sometimes disturbing. I'm proud of the way you dealt with the Connie situation. She's a little girl I don't know what was going through her head but the Gems insisted on not telling her parents. I would have.
When it comes to pursuing a woman there are three things you should follow. First off if you are attracted to a girl you should make sure you like and respect her before pursuing a relationship. Secondly take it slow before becoming physical you need to develop a bond before doing that. And finally make sure she's ready for intimacy before you even start."
"How do I do that?"
"Well with your mother and I, we went on dates for months before I tried to fuse with her. After our talk Rose saw me as a real person and not just an amusement. Then we started to get serious. It was not easy, we had our misunderstandings. I remember when I first proposed to your mother. I found this ring with a beautiful emerald. It ended up she was one of Rose's old friends. Let me tell say you do not want to give the remains of a dead friend as a love gift. It all worked out in the end and our relationship ended up being stronger. Remember even if you are in love you will have the occasional fight and bad times but if you care about this person you ride it out come to an understanding.
Oh and one other thing, Steven you are very strong. More so than any human you should never use your strength to hurt or to force women. Never"
"I think I understand but I've never been on a proper date. I mean when I hung around Connie we were just having fun like kids. I mean I've never really done adult stuff before. Thanks Dad, for the talk."
When he left his father his head was spinning with the new information he had to process. On autopilot he found himself at the Big Donut.
"Whoa what happened to you," asked a strangely sympathetic Lars.
"Dad just gave me the talk. The one about girls. It made me realize that I really don't know anything about dating," said Steven sadly.
"Well you've come to the right place just ask the dating master right here," Lars leered and pointed at himself.
Sadie laughed, "No you're not. Steven if you want to know anything about dating you should ask a woman."
"That's a great idea, I'll go on a practice date," Stars appeared in Steven's eyes. "Sadie would you like to go on a practice date with me."
Lars did a double take. Sadie blinked a couple times.
"Sure why not?" said Sadie.
"That's' great," blurted out Steven. "Er what do you like to do?"
That evening when Pearl took him home. Steven announced the good news in the barn where everybody was working. "I had a talk with Dad and I realize I don't know much about girls. So I'm taking Sadie out for a date."
Peridot muttered something in gemmish. She dropped the welder and walked away.
"Er Steven money's a bit tight right now," said Pearl hesitantly.
"I know. I've got it all planned. We'll go out on Tuesday half price movie night and then we'll go to that new restaurant that everybody talks about, y'know the Manchurian Chinese restaurant. I'll order something cheap and Sadie doesn't drink so we should be fine."
"Remember Steven just have fun, okay," said Garnet.
In the days coming up Peridot was in a bad mood. She avoided Steven as much as possible and barely spoke. Amethyst did enough speaking for them all.
"Okay Steven believe it or not I've been on many dates," bragged Amethyst. "So here are a few pointers. First off you should dress a little nicer than you normally do. Shoes instead of sandals that sort of thing. Secondly get her some flowers it doesn't have to be expensive just tasty like Mums, or daisies. The most important thing is to treat her like a lady."
She continued on and on with her advice trailing after him. When the big day came Pearl fussed over him like a mother hen. She kept checking his outfit which consisted of a polo shirt, jacket and canvas sneakers.
"Oh, Steven your first real date. I'm so excited," gushed Pearl.
"Pearl you're embarrassing me," said Steven.
Before Pearl and Steven left Garnet called out to them.
"Steven remember treat her like a lady," said the cube headed gem.
When she was confident Steven and Pearl had left Peridot crept up to Steven's bicycle. A bike couldn't possibly follow a car but Peridot had heard everything about Steven's and Sadie itinerary and knew exactly where and when they'll be. If she kept to the side roads Pearl and Steven couldn't possibly find out she was following them. The green gem was extremely jealous. Now that Connie disgraced herself Peridot thought she had a chance with Steven but the hybrid had another girl waiting in the wings. What had she got that Peridot didn't? Well maybe after some surveillance she'd just find out.
They stopped off at a supermarket to buy a bouquet of flowers for Sadie. Then Pearl dropped Steven off at Sadie's door.
Sadie paced back on forth in the living room. Never before had she felt so nervous even when going out with Lars. Steven was nice but Sadie never considered him romantically. So why had she said yes?
There came a knock at the door. Her mother opened it revealing the small form of Steven. As he walked inside she could see that he looked nice. With a smile he held a bouquet of daisies.
"These are for you. I don't know that if they are your favorite flowers but Amethyst said these tasted best," said Steven.
The boy was being so earnest. It was so sweet. Sadie smiled down at him and took his hand.
Peridot made it to the Boardwalk theatre in little under an hour. According to her calculations both Steven and Sadie should be watching a movie. That would give her plenty of time to find a vantage point where she could observe the pair undetected. When you're a green skinned alien that tends to be a problem. There were no bushes or trees however where she could camouflage herself. Guess that meant that she would be heading to the Mandarin Chinese Restaurant and hiding herself there
Sadie and Steven watched a dark Swedish comedy. It shouldn't have been funny but it was. The plot was about a hoarder that had accidentally killed a corrupt social worker. His family was doing the best they could to hide the crime. Butchering and concealing body parts shouldn't have been funny but it was.
"ha, ha, ha that family was so pathetic," laughed Sadie. "I mean they were all screwed up way worse than Ingmar and when they found that Japanese runaway living in the basement."
"Yeah they should have taken a clue when when Miko was so good at disposing bodies," giggled Steven.
The movie still went on. This time the family had to confront Miko's abusive father.
"Steven thank you for taking me. This is something Lars would never do," said Sadie quietly.
They leaned closer together until they were nose to nose. Sadie cupped Steven's face with her hand, kissed him and felt nothing. This was nothing like kissing Lars no thrill at all. She pulled back. Steven looked confused.
"Did I do something wrong?" asked the boy.
"No, no, Steven it's just that a didn't feel anything. I think you're great but not like this."
"I understand I feel the same way. You know I just realized that I had been on dates with Connie. We just didn't realize it."
"So you are in love with Connie?"
"No, I thought so but lately I realize I am in love with someone else. Peridot."
"Isn't she the one trying to destroy the Earth and hates all humans?"
"That's what Connie's been telling everybody but she's just trapped here. Peridot's scared and alone. She doesn't hate humans she's trying to reach out but the lies Connie and Garnet tell make it that much harder."
"You should tell Connie this."
"Make the girl with a sword angry good one."
They left laughing the movie theatre and walked over to the Mandarin Chinese restaurant. It was quite a long walk being on the other side of town. The restaurant was nice. It was a low key affair that was designed for the locals rather than the tourists. There was a small line up but soon enough Steven and Sadie got a table.
Peridot watched as the couple talked and laughed. She had chosen a thick green bush nearby which concealed her very well. It was an excellent hiding place so much so that another being had the same idea. She felt someone sit down beside her. Lars nearly jumped when he realized that he was not alone.
"What are you doing here?" said Lars.
"The same thing as you, obviously watching Steven and Sadie. Do you know how to read lips?" asked the gem eagerly.
"No."
"Then we have no idea what they're saying."
Steven and Sadie were enjoying a shared dish of appetizers as they talked about their love interests.
"Ohh Steven that's classic. Peridot actually did that?" snorted Sadie.
"Yes, she actually ate Connie's flowers that's the last thing I remember," admitted Steven.
"Sounds like a wild party."
"Okay now your turn what crazy thing did Lars do."
"oh he wanted to take me on a trip to New York. So instead of working more hours he joined the underground wrestling ring with Ronaldo. He had this costume the red rooster he looked ridiculous."
"I can't see him as much as a fighter."
"He wasn't. On the first night he battled someone in a giant cheese costume and lost. Ended up throwing up all over the audience."
"He must really love you to risk looking so stupid."
'I know."
In the bushes outside the restaurant Lars and Peridot watched the couple with angry expressions on their faces.
"Look at time having the time of their lives," growled Lars.
"It makes me so jealous," snarled Peridot.
"I'm going to buy her a necklace."
"I'm going to build him his own robot."
"You can do that?" said Lars turning around.
"Yes any many more things."
"Well the way Connie describes it. You're a bimbo."
"Tell me more about what Connie says."
"Well last week she went into the Big Donut crying. 'Wah wah Steven doesn't love me. I was ready to give him everything and that green freak burst right in while I was making the moves. Took my sleeping bag. Peridot turned the gems against me. Now Steven loves her. He was the greatest boy ever and now I lost him.' What really happened.?"
"Well for one thing Connie needed to cool off big time," Peridot told Lars about the mission to retrieve the worm. How the first night they set up camp Connie shoved her out in the middle of a downpour where Peridot caught leeches.
"I thought you don't have blood?" asked Lars.
"Well the leeches didn't know that," Peridot shivered. "It's getting cold do you want to go to the McDonalds across the road and get a coffee?"
They continued to talk about the mission, Connie and then about the people they loved. Soon they forgot why they were there and the time.
"And so I say to Connie we can't all ride pink lions."
Peridot snickered until she saw two forms standing before them. There right before their eyes stood an angry Steven and Sadie.
"What are you two doing?" said Steven angrily.
"Spying on you," replied Peridot. Lars slapped his hand on his forehead. The green gem continued. "We were jealous and decided to watch you."
"So you don't trust us?" accused Sadie.
"I trust you. It's just that I wanted to take you to that new restaurant," admitted Lars.
"And I don't know where I stand with you Steven," confessed Peridot.
"Wait are you saying you're in love with us?" said Sadie with quiet realization.
"Yes," shouted out Lars. "I love you. I find the Big Donut lame and the donuts taste terrible. The only reason I work there is to be around you!"
Stars lit up Sadie's eyes, "oh, Lars I think the donuts are awful too."
All three of them looked at Peridot, "Really Steven did you think that all the trouble you go to teaching me about Earth and protecting me wouldn't have an effect on me? Of course I love you, you clod."
"Oh Peridot," said Steven. "Okay how did you get into town?"
"I rode your bike."
"Then we will ride the bike home together."
Traditionally the girl is supposed to ride the handlebars while the boy peddles but because the barn was over 20 miles away. Peridot peddled while Steven rode the handlebars with a big smile on his face.