I Want My Gun Back (The Story of Thog)

by gio-the-vax

Thog's gun is gone, and he wants it back. Less than patiently or politely, he asks the people he comes across, one by one, whether they have seen it. Each one says no, some more elaborately than others. Join Thog in his adventure to find his missing hat, affectionately told in the style of the children's book I Want My Hat Back.

Thrilling Intent belongs to The Third Wheel

I Want My Hat Back © Jon Klassen

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Thog: I want my gun back.

Thog: Have you seen my gun?

Ashe: No, I haven't seen your gun.

Thog: Alright, thanks anyway.

Thog: Have you seen my gun?

Markus: No, I'm afraid I haven't seen any guns around here.

Thog: Alright, thanks anyway.

Thog: Have you seen my gun?

Rat: N-no! Why are you asking me? I would not steal a gun! I don't even need a gun! Get off my case!

Rat: Might I interest you in some of my fine wares?

Thog: No.

Thog: Have you seen my gun?

Gregor: I haven't seen anything all day!

Gregor: I've been watching this giant monster statue in case it comes to life and tries to kill us all.

Thog: You need to stop that.

Gregor: Okay.

Thog: Have you seen my gun?

Kyr: I had a gun once! Two, in fact! They were big, and made of steel, and shot out humans!

Thog: I don't care. It's not my gun.

Thog: Have you seen my gun?

Colvin: What is a gun?

Thog: ... ugh, never mind.

Thog: No one has seen my gun. What if I never see it it again? What if someone stole it? I swear if someone did... I think I actually miss my gun...

Inien: What's the matter?

Thog: I lost my fucking gun. No one's seen it.

Inien: Well, what does your gun look like?

Thog: It's a flintlock pistol, with a mahogany grip and and-

Thog: I HAVE SEEN MY GUN.

*intense running footsteps*

Thog: YOU. YOU STOLE MY GUN.

*a gunshot*

Thog: I love my gun.