Chapter V- Sesshomaru's Emotions

Sesshomaru continued to think about his feelings for Kagome, which were more complex and complicated, as he oversaw the gardens from his study's window. He saw the woman, who he would want to call her his life-mate someday. Hopefully, it would be soon. He sensed that her aura was almost back to normal. He knew that I would probably take a while for her heart to be heal, at least, heal enough, for him to steal her heart away from her. He wondered how long that he felt this way toward his little miko.

Rin was so excited to see Kagome and Shippo, that she pounced them down to the soft, green grass below, which that made Sesshomaru smiled a bit. She said, "I'd miss you Lady Kagome. And you too Shippo."

"Well, I'd miss you too Rin," Kagome said as she touched the little girl's cheek. Shippo nodded.

"Lord Sesshomaru will be really happy now that you're here. He'd missed you very much," she said with a big smile.

Kagome laughed nervously and said, "Oh, I bet he does." She said that like she'd never believe that, which made the Lord of the West saddened.

He said, "So, she doesn't believe that I do indeed miss her. Why would she say that? Was I not there when and after Inuyasha's death? I sensed a little fear from my miko. I wondered what she's afraid of? Is she afraid of me? She should know that I wouldn't harm her in any way, shape, or form, does she know that?" He shook his head with his hand on his forehead.

"Lady Kagome, may I ask you something," Rin said as she gave her a beautiful white lily and a thornless red rose.

"Uh..yes, you can ask whatever you desire, Rin." Rin squealed and smiled excitedly.

"Well, I was wondering if you like my lord," she asked with a sad tone in her voice.

"Of course, I do, Rin. What made you asked such a question?"

Sesshomaru thought about the same question as he was eavesdropping on their conversation.

"I don't know, it's just that you seemed different to this Rin, that's all."

"Well, I am fine and for me liking your lord...well, like I said before, I do and will always care about him."

Sesshomaru thought to himself, "You only care, huh? Well, we'll see about that miko. I know deep down inside that you do love me as this one loves you, desperately.

What? Did I actually said the fearsome word 'love'? I know nothing about this love that I said that this is, yet...I'd never experienced it.

I remember what my parent's 'love' was, my father took a human princess, Izayoi, as his second wife. My mother didn't seemed to care that father marry another. I really never once saw what Kagome calls 'love' even between my parents.

However, I do know that they did, indeed, cared about each other because they were friends before they married. I remember my mother told me that if I decide to be with the one I choose to be my mate; she told me to find the love that her or my father had never found in life. She also told me that they married for only political reasons; not for love.

She always encourage me to find someone that I would love forever. She said that's one of the reasons why they never mated and became life-mates. As for my father's marriage to Izayoi, as my mother was concern, was also a political marriage between the Lord and her lord father. It wasn't about love, but duty. Although, she may had been a beauty, but that was all that she processed; nothing more and nothing less than that.

When father died, he was so weak; not because his strength was weak, but his heart was, he felt the urge to protect Izayoi and their unborn son from that bastard, who took his life. It was his duty to protect those who were dear to his heart, after all and he did.

Perhaps, that was why I was angry because of that and decided to go after the one love that I know that can't reject me, left me either in divorce or in death. That one love that was world conquest.

I was bitter then. When I met Jaken, I realized that that imp could be useful on my quest. That was why I let him follow me, until I met Rin. She had taken care of me when I was seriously injured. I can't really understand it myself why I revived her other than mere testing the Tenseiga.

Perhaps I did had a little compassion in my ice-cold, bitter heart or was it because I just wanted to test the youkai sword that came from my father's fang to see if it were true that it, indeed, revived the dead once that they'd just died.

Afterwards, Rin began to follow me. At first I just ignore her, gave her a warning growl to go away, and I even showed her my youkai eyes, but she showed no fear to this one just like Kagome did when I just met her. Then I just gave up and gave in. I just let her follow me with no questions asked and overtime her carefree nature had taken her into my heart. It was frustrating to me. I couldn't fathomed it. It was driving me insane until Rin had died. My heart broke into many pieces. I believe my mother saw what I was in denial. I did, indeed, loved and cared about Rin as though she were my own daughter. If it wasn't for mother then Rin would be just dust by now. I had to admit that I was grateful to her after she'd did resurrected Rin from the dead."

Sesshomaru was still at the window when he decided to join them in the gardens. He walked through the palace as servants bowed as he passed and made his way to the palace's garden. Rin noticed her lord, ran her lord as the said excitedly, "Lord Sesshomaru! Lord Sesshomaru! Lady Kagome said that she and Shippo was staying here with us. We can now be a real family!" Then she grabbed his lower legs as he looked at her and she just smiled as big as her little mouth would allowed her.

Sesshomaru coughed as to want to changed the subject and said while he was looking at Kagome, "We should head to the dining room to eat. Afterwards, this Sesshomaru will show around the palace. After all, this is your home now. (He looked down to Rin as she was still holding on to his leg.) As for you Rin, you will go with Jaken to continue with your studies. Is that understood?"

"This Rin understands perfectly clear, Lord Sesshomaru," she said before she'd let go of his leg and with Shippo skipped down to the dining room as Sesshomaru and Kagome followed from behind.

Inuyasha (c) Rumiko Takahashi

Fanfiction & OCs (c) kamorris