A/N: Really, just don't ask. It's best not to.

"I personally think it would be cute." Rachel laughed, setting her sheet music on the piano next to Blaine.

"In a completely, dominatrix, awkward way, right? Where if they're not bickering, they're avoiding each other completely?" Blaine asked.

"Or having sex?" Rachel laughed again. "Either way. Or both, even."

Blaine was stunned. "I'm dead, right? He's not cheating on me or anything?"

"In my fantasies, you and Kurt always live happily ever after and you're pretty much perfect, so this is probably before Kurt goes to Dalton."

Blaine smiled slightly, but returned to watching Kurt and Puck argue over something trivial.

"Who do you think would top?"

Blaine spluttered, almost knocking the sheet music onto the floor. "What?"

Rachel laughed. "Come on, this is fun. Who tops normally out of you two?"

"Rachel!" Blaine hissed, narrowing his eyes.

"Ohh, it's Kurt, isn't it?" she pried, grinning and poking Blaine in the ribs. "Do you think Puck would be into bottoming?"

"Rachel, I'm walking away."

"Oh Blaine! Please?"

"I'm not playing this game anymore! It was okay when you were doing it with Brittany and Finn, but this is my boyfriend you're talking about!"

"Oh fine…" she huffed. A beat later, she started talking again. "That duet you and Kurt sang today was absolutely amazing!"

Blaine grinned, relieved that he had managed to get away from that conversation. "Thanks!"

"How often did you practice?"

"Uhh…lots? Every time we were together."

"Ohh, so like, after you duet, does Kurt get super into it and you-"

"Rachel!"

"I'm sorry!" she laughed. "I'm curious."

Blaine rolled his eyes, looking back at Kurt and Puck. He sighed, glaring at the ground, a subtle blush rising up his cheeks. Rachel was silent, waiting expectantly.

"We…we take turns. But Kurt tops more…"

Rachel grinned triumphantly.

"So…with Puckurt…?"

Blaine blinked. "Puckurt?"

"Their ship name. We discussed the- oh. You and Kurt were at Dalton. Okay…so like you combine names. You and Kurt are Klaine. "

"…okay…"

"So…what do you think? Who would top out of them?"

Blaine shook his head. "I don't even want to think about that…"

She laughed. "They're such a strange combination. I bet they'd do weird things like…bottoming from the top! Or something. Did Kurt ever take riding lessons?"

"Oh my god Rachel, really?"

She giggled. "Come on – just agree with me already! If you weren't in the picture, they'd make a really, really good couple!"

Blaine took another look at them, closing his eyes. "Fine. Yes. If I had never met Kurt, I suppose I could see them being in a…weird…relationship. Somehow…"

"But a good one, yes?"

Blaine hesitated, before sighing. "I suppose. They'd learn to live with each other eventually and they could make a somewhat good couple."

Rachel laughed delightedly. "Perfect!"

She pranced towards them.

"Hey, Kurt!"

Blaine froze.

"Blaine says you and Puck would make a good couple!"

A/N: What a little bitch.