Chapter Seven

Freak Magnet, I read the first sentence of that book at least a hundred times within the two hours I spent in the library, but I do not remember a word of it.

It was three days after the Hanamiya incident and I was trying my hardest to forget everything and dive into the fictional tellings of an easily digestible rom-com, but no matter how hard I tried to get into it my brain would march right back into the war it was having with itself: Whether or not to take up the deal.

Did I want to have sex with Hanamiya? Hell no. His ugly eyebrows, heavy dark eye circles, anemic looking body, and long greasy hair, were anything but a turn on. Not to mention his god awful personality, but could I stand letting more players get hurt when I knew that I could do something to stop it? Especially, when all it takes is to have sex, one time, with some virgin high school boy. But sex does mean something, right? That's what everyone says, anyways.

I kept running around in circles with these ideas, not noticing the dead eyes that were staring at me, waiting for a response. That is until the figure physically took the book out of my hands, "Are you paying any attention to me? The library is closing."

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up at the tall boy that was looking down at me, "Oh, sorry. I was kind of zoned out." I quickly started to get my things together to leave, hoping to make up for any time the kid must have spent waiting on me.

"It's sad. " He stated emotionless, dragging my attention back to him.

"What's sad? The book? I thought it was supposed to be more of a romantic comedy based on it's description but –"

"I didn't mean the book. I meant the situation you are in. It's sad. The more you struggle to deal with it, the farther away from an answer you become."

Who was this kid? How did he know I was struggling with something? Why was he even talking to me? At the time, I had no idea and all his comment did was piss me off. I grabbed my now full bag and stormed off leaving him and his dead fish like expression behind.

~x~

The entire ride home my thoughts volleyballed between the proposal and the new experience in the library. It was like the whole world around me was getting so weird and I was getting so frustrated. If only I hadn't dragged myself into this mess.

When I got home that day I didn't even bother trying to contain my frustration. I rushed past my family, who I didn't even notice was there, and stormed up the stairs to my room. When my privacy was assured by the sound of the closing door I threw my bag onto the ground and gave the wall next to me a good punch. Tears began to fall down my face, partially due to the pain and partially due to my anger, and I let myself fall to the ground.

No matter what choice I made Hanamiya would win. I couldn't stand to think about my obvious failure but that sense of loss consumed me, so much so that I didn't even notice the knocking at my door.

"Chouko? Common open the door." My brother's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked over at where his voice was coming from.

Without a word I got up and opened the door and walked over to my bed, finding a comfortable spot to sit in.

"What's wrong?" The concern in his voice hit me and guilt instantly washed over. I knew I couldn't tell him what was going on, but I knew he was worried about me.

"I can't tell you. It's a personal thing." I looked away from the boy who was now sitting next to me.

"Is it a boy? A girl maybe?"

"No, I wish it was that simple." I scoffed.

"Love isn't as simple as it may seem."

"Just because the girl you like has a crush on your captain and has you deep in the friend zone, doesn't mean love is complicated. It means you're undesirable." I shot back.

"Ouch, you don't need to be so harsh about it." He said playfully, as if I didn't just shoot him down, "And when did this become about me? You are the one sitting here crying."

When I didn't respond he sighed and pushed my hair behind my ear and wiped the tears from my face, "Did some one say something mean to you? Do I have to go and beat someone up?"

"You wouldn't beat anyone up. You'd probably just kill them with kindness and then leave." I gave him a soft smile.

"Was it Hanamiya?" My smile instantly faded at the sound of his name. How was it that everyone knew my business? Teppei doesn't even go to the same school as me.

My reaction must have given something away because he followed back with, "It was him, wasn't it?"

"No, I don't even really know him. Isn't he the head of the disciplinary committee or something? Why would he say something to me?" I tried playing it off, but I doubt that this was by any means a believable performance.

"Common, Chouko. What did he say?" His face got really serious and for a moment I wanted to spill everything to him. Tell him about every single thing that was going on, but I knew better than that.

"He didn't say anything. Really."

"If you tell me I can make it stop, but I can't do anything if–"

"Who said I wanted you to do anything, huh? Just go and mind your own freaking business. No one asked you to help me." I snapped.

Teppei just sat there, his expression blank.

My brother was the kind of person who's self worth came from helping those who need it. His purpose was to make the people he loved feel protected. His happiness sprouted from the smiles of others. Without that, he was nothing. Empty. So, me saying what I had hurt him more than any basketball injury, but at that moment I didn't seem to really care.

After a moment, he put himself back together and stood up from my bed, "I see you are growing up now. You are right. You need to start fighting your own battles. Just do what you want and what makes you happy because I don't think I can stand seeing you cry like this." He turned and gave me a pained smile before walking out of my room, leaving me alone to my thoughts, once again.

~x~

After a couple hours of mentally running around in circles, I figured it would be best to go and apologize to my brother. I had been a total jerk to him and he was just trying to help. Plus, the sad look on his face when he left my room made me feel super crappy.

I knocked on his bedroom door and waited for him to come and open it. When the door opened and revealed my face to him, he looked back at me with surprise before letting me into his room. He went and sat back at his desk chair and I stood by the door, not expecting this interaction to take a long time.

"Look, I am sorry for being a pain in the ass, I know you weren't trying to be overbearing. It's just that schools been much more stressful than I thought it was going to be. I have been staying after school and stuff, but it feels like I'm not getting any better. It really wasn't that Hanamiya person." I lied, but I also apologized, so it balanced itself out. I just couldn't let my brother know about Hanamiya.

I have no idea if he actually believed me, but he did go along with it, "Is that why you've been coming home so late recently?"

"Yeah."

"Don't over work yourself. At the end of the day your mental health comes first."

"I know. I know. I just don't wanna let anyone down." I slid down the door and sat on the floor.

"Don't worry about that. If you try your hardest people will still be proud of you, no matter what the grade."

"I guess." I pouted and Teppei smiled back at me.

"Common," he stood up from his chair, "Let's go and have dinner. Grandma and Grandpa already ate, but I figured I would wait for you to eat so you wouldn't be alone." He reached out to me with his huge hands to help me up.

I accepted his gesture and got up, "What's on the menu?"

"Something delicious." He grinned.

"Are you trying to keep it a surprise? Cause need I remind you that you suck at surprises?"

"Nope, I genuinely have no idea." I laughed and we went down stairs to enjoy a delicious meal.

It was sometime while we sat at the dinner table that I decided to listen to what my brother had said and put my happiness first.