How Far

Chapter 15

Guy retrieved two crystal tumblers for the bottle of expensive whiskey Luke brought. This would be his last night in the guest room, his last night as a guest in his new home, his last night as Malkuth's most sought-after single nobleman.

Finally.

He poured two fingers of the amber liquid into each glass and handed one to his best man. "Got a good toast?"

Luke pondered this for a moment. "In the Knights we say, 'Here's to those who went before, protectors of the sacred Score, and to us who now rejoice, Lorelei bless our sacred choice.'"

"Kinda wordy."

"Yeah, but nice, I think."

"Then I'll take it. Cheers." He clinked his glass against Luke's, took a celebratory swig, then settled with a heavy sigh into his chair. It had been a long, long week. He wouldn't say the longest of his life, because he'd been through too much to put those events into such a frivolous context, but still. It was exhausting enough to be in the royal fishbowl, but toss in an attempt on his life, and most people would be a quivery mess by now.

Luke took the chair across from him with the chess table in between. "You know, it's not too late to change your mind and rustle up some of the guys for a proper bachelor night. I'm sure we could get Jade, Ginji, and Florian to join us for poker, at least."

Guy shook his head. "Nah, this is good. It's been a while since it's been just us. Like old times."

"You're the boss. Well, until tomorrow. Then Natalia's the boss, so good luck to you." Luke raised his glass again, this time as a sarcastic little salute. He'd obviously been spending way too much time with Jade. "It's just as well, anyway. Don't ever play poker with Florian."

"Why, did Anise teach him to cheat?"

"She did, but he doesn't even need to. He's got that face, you know?" And then Luke made a circular gesture in front of his own face in case Guy did not, in fact, know. "He's got that face, and so you think, 'Look at this sweet kid. He couldn't bluff his way out of a tree.' And I fall for it every time."

After the crack about Natalia being the boss, Guy felt no guilt about laughing. Luke never had been good at poker. If Florian had a perfect poker face, then Luke was the exact opposite. Every card was written all over him, and the more he attempted to hide it, the more he gave it away.

When they were younger, Guy had taught Luke to play cards, but he'd tried to insist that they play for fun, not money, because it felt wrong to take advantage of Luke's… transparency. Luke had turned around and insisted that they play for real money like real men, and he was the master, so what he said went.

Guy would easily double his week's wages in one game. He stopped feeling bad when, after losing his allowance, Luke would just go ask his mother for more. And Luke had nothing to spend his money on, anyway, being locked in the house. At least this made Luke feel like he was doing something; focusing on the game and swearing to win back all his lost gald was a distraction from the anger over his confinement and missing memories.

It had been a distraction from Guy's own anger, too.

Seemed like such a long time ago now.

Setting his glass down, Guy started setting up the pieces for their chess game. "Black or white?"

Luke shrugged. "It's still your night."

"I'll be white."

"Good, I wanted black."

Before the game could get underway, however, they heard conversation coming from the other side of the door. "I know that," Natalia's voice said clearly and with obvious exasperation, "but I'll just be a moment." The guard's reply was muffled, no matter how Guy tried to perk his ears. "And Luke's here isn't he? So that will do." Her tone accepted no refusal.

Sure enough, the door opened with the lack of patience Guy had come to expect when Natalia wanted her way. She was still dressed as she'd been at dinner, as was he, though he had discarded his jacket and cravat before dismissing Merton for the night. Nothing was untoward or objectionable about her calling on him.

"I need to speak with you," she said, everything about her all business. So this definitely wasn't a pleasure call.

Even Luke knew it, and he started to rise. "I'll just let you guys—"

"No, Luke, stay," she said. "You need to chaperone." She rolled her eyes at the ridiculous formality of it all. In less than twenty-four hours, none of these obsolete proprieties would need to be recognized, but until it was official, they had to act as if they had no interest in being alone together.

Luke retook his seat and pretended to be uninterested in what was about to happen.

Guy decided against saying something until she continued. For once, he had difficulty gauging her temperament. She seemed upset, but not necessarily angry, or at least, not with him. If she wasn't annoyed, it couldn't be with Luke, either, or else she wouldn't have come here in the first place.

"I believe this belongs to you," she now said, and that was when he noticed the square of white linen in her hand. With a dramatic flourish, she draped it over his whiskey glass.

It was a handkerchief, and in one corner, his family crest had been stitched in gold thread. It was his, all right, but he couldn't remember giving it to her. Natalia usually carried her own handkerchiefs.

"Okay," he answered slowly, not understanding the urgency. "Thanks."

She folded her arms beneath her breasts. "Sera gave this to me. One of the maids had it."

"Uh oh," Luke said, failing in his attempt to look like he wasn't listening.

Guy tried to think of a reason besides laundry that a maid would be in possession of one of his handkerchiefs. He guessed he could have dropped one, or…. "Oh, I remember. She was crying, so I gave it to her."

"You made a maid cry?" Luke asked. "And here you thought you weren't cut out for royal life." He held up one hand for a high-five, but the looks both Guy and Natalia shot him made him lower it again.

"She must have forgotten to put it in the laundry, or else I would have gotten it back by now," Guy said. Eliza was turning out to be a pretty inefficient maid, but he couldn't help feeling sorry for her. He remembered some of the maids in Luke's house came there when they had nowhere else to go, maybe because their families had died in the war like his had, or because their fathers were cruel to them, and he was sure Eliza had a similar story. It was sadly all too common, and he wouldn't have her fired and put out on the street over a couple of innocuous mistakes.

Natalia's expression softened slightly. "You are too kind for your own good sometimes, you know." Her arms and her tone likewise uncrossed. "You also know how this looks, and you know better than anyone that servants talk."

He felt stupid for not thinking of that. Servants passed the time gossiping. Some of the stories were true, some were speculation, most of them colorful and dramatic. It made the daily drudgery more bearable.

"All it takes is a rumor," she continued. "A rumor can become gospel before you know it. You are chivalrous to a fault, Guy, and I love that about you, but you must be careful."

"You're right," he said. As a rumor became gospel, so could a handkerchief become a token, a signal, evidence of inappropriate attentions. It would take nothing for his innocent gesture to be misconstrued. "I'm sorry."

"Man, someone's really going to a lot of trouble to make Natalia doubt you," Luke said, interjecting himself into their business once more. "First dredging up the old revenge story, now planting your handkerchief in a maid's room."

"What are you talking about?" Natalia asked.

"Yeah, weren't you listening?" Guy added. "No one planted it. I gave it to her."

"Oh." Luke scratched his nose and frowned with confusion. "Huh. Thought I had something there."

Natalia made a little huff of annoyance, and her bangs fluttered from the puff of air. Guy tried to bite back a grin; she might not appreciate her irritation being found cute. "Anyway, I suppose I should leave before I'm scandalized any further for being in your room after dark." She overemphasized the word "scandalized" the same way she had said "chaperone" earlier.

"We could turn on all the lights. Get a few dozen candles." He raised his eyebrows, and that finally got a giggle out of her.

"Yes, because insufficient illumination is the issue here."

"It's a serious problem. You should have someone get on that. We don't want you bumping into things."

"I'll make it my first priority tomorrow, should nothing more pressing be on the agenda." Now that her posture had relaxed and her exasperation had been replaced with amusement, she started to bend down to him with twinkling eyes and a promise-filled smile. Then, remembering their audience, she slanted her eyes at her cousin. "Luke, could you…?" She twirled her finger in a quick circle.

"Sorry, I'm the chaperone." Luke leaned back in his chair and waited.

Her shoulders stiffened again, but not to be completely thwarted, she proceeded to grace her fiancé's cheek with a chaste brush of her lips.

Guy, however, was just about finished with all this nonsense, and he took her chin in his hand to bring her mouth to his. If Luke wanted to watch, let him.

He tugged lightly at her lips, flicked his tongue over them while remaining properly outside, and her fingers brushed against his cheek just as her mouth had. He could feel she wanted more, as he did, but somehow he was able to leave it there.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she whispered in the space between them.

He nodded. "I'll be the good-looking one standing up front."

"That's funny, so will I," she answered, then kissed him one last time, which almost broke him. He clutched the arm of his chair with white knuckles to keep from grabbing her and pulling her onto his lap. "Good night. Again." She straightened, regal as ever, and cast a wry glance at their ineffectual chaperone. "Good night, Luke," she said sweetly, waggling her fingers in parting as she walked away.

When she was gone, Guy snatched the handkerchief from his whiskey glass and knocked back half of the contents in one gulp.

"Geez, you guys are nauseating," Luke griped. "How do you stand it?"

Guy focused his attention on the chessboard instead of the closed door and moved his starting pawn two squares forward, gripping the rounded top of the helpless piece a little harder than necessary. "A lot of cold showers," he answered.

Luke grimaced like he'd bitten into something rancid. "Ugh, dude, it's Natalia."

"Yep."

"So, I take it that means you guys haven't..." In the awkwardness of the pause, Luke moved his own starting pawn forward and pretended to be interested in a painting of a vase of violets on the wall. "… haven't... you know... yet?"

"Nope." Guy picked up his knight pawn and jabbed it toward his opponent to punctuate each of his next words. "I am being honorable."

"And how's that working out for you?"

"It sucks."

Luke, like any good best friend should do, laughed at Guy's frustration.

Being honorable was what he should be, yeah, and it was almost bearable given that he only had to suffer for one more night, but there were times when honor had been the furthest thing from his mind. That day last week, under the tree, with the exhilaration of their ride and being together again, he'd been tempted to do more than kiss her. If they hadn't been interrupted, he wasn't sure when he would have stopped. Natalia had made no indication that she wanted to stop, either. How much more of her skin would he have tasted, how many more of her moans would have echoed in his ears and made him—

Continuing to think about this was a bad, bad idea. He took another swig of whiskey and waited for Luke's move. Like in poker, Luke was a careless, overeager chess player, making grand moves and going on the offense right away instead of taking a more measured approach. Being aggressive was one thing; aggression without strategy was the quickest path to defeat.

As perfect illustration, Luke moved his knight forward, nodded with approval at this brilliant tact, then took a tiny sip from his own glass. He wasn't much of a drinker, but he'd insisted that having whiskey together was a best-man-and-groom kind of thing to do. "Then I guess as best man, I'm supposed to give you a pep talk for the big night, huh?"

"Oh, man, please don't." Guy still hadn't recovered from his other pep talks. And Jade had obviously just been making stuff up, he was pretty sure. There were physical limits to how much a human body could bend. "Besides, isn't there some saying about the blind leading the blind?"

"Yeah, but they also say that in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king." Luke let that sit for a second before adding, "And I happen to have two eyes."

Guy was considering his next move and how it would affect his strategy down the line, so it was another second before Luke's meaning hit. He looked up and met those two eyes. Luke's arms were folded, and he looked back, completely calm and serious. "Shut up," Guy said.

"You shut up."

"You're like five years old. How did you get laid before me?"

"Hey, some guys got it, some guys don't."

"Tear?"

"Who else?"

"She wouldn't."

"Would. Did. Has." Luke mockingly punctuated each word with his bishop before returning it to the board and capturing Guy's pawn. It was a good strategy, both for the game and distracting Guy from the conversation, because Guy wasn't sure what to do with this information. He was impressed. And stunned. And kind of weirded out. It was like finding this stuff out about your little brother and sister—sure, at some point it was bound to happen, but you wanted to pretend it didn't.

Luke took Guy's silence as an opportunity to explain. Not that that was Guy's reason for being silent. "It was when I first got back," he said, raking a hand through his hair and glancing away, the bravado replaced with a younger air of sheepishness. "We hadn't seen each other in two years, you know? And so..." He cleared his throat and looked back again. "Anyway, then I joined the Knights, and they have rules about that kind of thing, and, well, you know Tear. She's a stickler." He rolled his eyes, but he couldn't keep a note of fondness from creeping into his voice. "So I feel you on the honorable thing. It sucks."

"Yeah." And at least Guy's waiting would be over tomorrow. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all, not knowing what they'd been denying themselves. Instead of thinking of it as denial, he should view it as anticipation. They had good reasons for waiting—honor, propriety, tradition, expectations, lack of any damn privacy—and the anticipation would just make it that much better, right?

Nah, it still sucked.

While Guy made his next move, Luke took another sip of whiskey and grimaced as it covered his tongue. It was a good blend with a smoky, burnt caramel flavor, but definitely an acquired taste. "My mother wants us to get married, you know," Luke added. "She hasn't said anything, but I can tell."

"Pretty sure that's illegal, not to mention creepy."

The face Luke made this time had nothing to do with the drink. "How did you know you wanted to marry Natalia?" he continued, and Guy stopped grinning at his stupid joke. Luke was being serious, and he'd respect that. "And none of this 'because she asked me' stuff. I mean, when were you really, really sure?"

Usually he would give a flippant or charming answer like that, but if this was something Luke was thinking about, Guy would answer candidly. And when he came up with the answer, he wondered why it took him so long to admit that he was in love with her. In hindsight it was completely obvious. "After we got engaged and I'd been back in Grand Chokmah for a couple of weeks, I'd had a long day in the House of Lords. It's a bunch of old men with old ideas, and trying to argue for a new way of doing things is like banging my head against the wall sometimes." Natalia might call her Council the "grumpy old men", but he had stronger words for the moldering political relics that musted up the Imperial Court. "I was tired, and I was frustrated, and I came home to an empty house, and I just... I wished she was there. I needed to see her and talk to her." He'd sat down and written her a long letter, pouring out everything that pissed him off about these men who were still clinging to the past instead of embracing the challenges and possibilities of a new world, because he knew she would understand.

When he received her reply, she'd extended her sympathy and related her own difficulties, and she'd reminded him that as a team, they'd have the strength to enact real change. Her encouragement got him through the next session. "Before, I had lots of good reasons for marrying her," he continued aloud for Luke's benefit, and Luke was nodding thoughtfully. "But that's when I knew I had the right reason. I was always willing to stand by her side, but I need to have her by mine."

Luke swirled the whiskey in his glass and stared into it as if an answer would appear in the amber. "I get that," he said, shifting in his chair, like talking about feelings made him even more uncomfortable than talking about sex. "And I'm happier with her than without her. She makes me better, I know she does." He continued looking for the answer in his glass, but was shaking his head. "I'm with her all the time, but sometimes it doesn't feel like enough." He took a bolder sip of whiskey, managing to avoid making a face like a little kid. "Maybe that sounds dumb or selfish or something, like it's all about me."

"It should be about you," Guy answered honestly. So much had been expected of Luke for so long, and when he was younger he'd had such an entitled swagger about him that now he felt guilty for thinking of himself too much, for wanting something for himself, for even the appearance of disrespecting the sacrifices others had made for him. "It's about both of you, and it's okay to want to make a change. And it's okay to not be ready, too."

"I want what's best for her, too, you know? More than I want anything for me, even."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Yeah." Luke raked his hand through his hair and let out a self-deprecating chuckle. "Man, and here I was accusing you guys of being nauseating."

"Don't worry, I think we're still way ahead of you." Guy retrieved the whiskey bottle and topped off both of their glasses. This would have to be it, though. Natalia would never forgive them if they showed up for the ceremony bleary and hung over. And as long as this week had been, tomorrow was going to be an exceedingly long day. "So…" he continued, raising his glass to his lips with nonchalance, "out of respect for Tear I won't ask for details, but… how was it?"

Luke shrugged with equal nonchalance as he concentrated on moving his bishop forward and capturing another of Guy's pawns, but when he looked up again, one corner of his mouth was raised in a satisfied smirk.

"I hate you." As Guy said this, he finally noticed that Luke had been matching him move for move throughout their game. "And when the hell did you get so good at chess?"