Chapter 31: Daydreams
Hiro was laying in her bed. She enjoyed her breakfast, but she felt tired and wanted to rest.
Her parents let her, considering the way she fell asleep. They figured it wasn't very restful.
That wasn't the reason Hiro was laid in her bed though.
She'd felt tired, but she was awake. She was laying around, just thinking... Or rather daydreaming. Visualizing what it would be like to be away from all of this.
She rested on a semi happy thought. It was more bittersweet, considering the circumstances. It drug her down further and further into a state of depression.
"Hiro, you need to move around, and do something."
Hiro angrily opened her eyes.
"I was dreaming... Why would you interrupt that?"
Her face became glum. "Just let me sleep..."
"You aren't sleeping, your running scenarios as a source of comfort. I did this too, so you can't hide any of this from me. It won't help anything, the lying around just makes this worse. This can last for months if you're not careful..."
She sighed. "But I don't want to move..."
"But you have to, and you should. You're wasting precious moments of your life laying and feeling sad, and trust me, life can go by faster than you think. No one is immortal."
She slowly sat up. "It... It would be a little easier if these stupid dreams just went away. Why us? Why me? I might die anyway! So what's the point!?"
Junichi phased next to her.
"Hiro, I'm sorry this is happening to you, but moving around does more good than you think. You might not feel as sad. Just give it a try, a solid try. If I'm wrong, I'll let you sleep."
She stood. "Okay... I'll try."
She walked downstairs, and ran into her parents.
"Just try making conversation." Said Junichi.
"It will help ease some tension."
"G-Good morning..." She said.
Her dad smiled. "Good afternoon."
Her mom shook her head. "Damn kid, you must have been tired! It's 1:30."
"Sorry about that..." She said.
Kuhn was concerned. "Hey, you were tired. No harm done... Are you okay?"
She clenched her teeth. How could he be asking that!?
"No, I'm not okay, but I'm trying."
She didn't mean for that to come out so harsh and cold.
"Sorry..." She said. "I'm going to walk around some."
She walked away.
Linn sighed. "I think I know what's going on."
Kuhn looked at her. "You do?"
She nodded. "Some of it anyway. Junichi used to get like this a lot. I'd find him laying in bed, not even sleeping, just... He said it was like thinking, but deeper. I remember I told him, 'Play with me, and you won't have time to think'. It seemed to help him some. He also explained to me that when he got like this, sometimes there wasn't a reason. He was just sad."
Kuhn looked down. "My mother used to get like that, but she'd never explain it to me. I think that's what killed her... There were also times when she'd be really happy and full of energy. One day she just stopped moving... And that was it... She just faded away, even before she disappeared."
Linn looked at him. "Then that's what this is. Junichi used to get the same way, exactly. I don't doubt that he made her get up, and walk."
Kuhn sighed. "Is there anything we can do?"
Linn smiled. "We could probably get her doing more things around the Warrior's. Sentences obviously won't work, so we could work her instead. Yeah! Then she could accomplish something, and she'd be too tired to get into trouble!"
Kuhn's eyes widened, he grabbed her shoulders.
"Linn, that's an excellent idea! Let's do it!"
He pulled her in, and kissed her passionately.
Linn grabbed his collar, and pulled him into a room.
...
Hiro walked around in the lobby, and up and down all of the halls. She didn't feel perfect, but she had more energy.
She ran into Eiji. He was carrying a load of boxes.
"Eiji what are you doing?"
He smiled. "I guess I'm being punished... Delivering each resident monthly supplies. I don't know, I think it's fun."
He walked past. "See you Hiro! We should do something... Oh yeah, we're grounded."
Hiro stared at him incredulously.
How could he think THAT was fun?
She walked a little further, and heard Haku and Chihiro.
"I don't know..." Said Haku. "He's doing a pretty good job."
Chihiro sighed. "But he's enjoying it! Haku... Punishment shouldn't be enjoyed, it should punish."
"I think he's just been trying to impress Hiro. Should we really punish him like this? Maybe we could just talk it out?"
"Well, I guess that's true too." Said Chihiro. "Hiro seems to be somewhat of a bad influence..."
Hiro walked away tearfully.
"Yeah, she can be..." Said Haku. "She's also protective in her own way, and she's not a bad person..."
Chihiro sighed. "Yeah, I know. Hiro's a good girl, and it was Eiji's choice to sneak out. He should be responsible for his actions."
"You're right." Said Haku. "I think it's time we realize he's not a small child anymore."
...
Hiro felt bad about all of this. Now Eiji's parents thought she was rotten too...
Maybe I am...
Maybe I really am a bad influence on Eiji...
I wonder if he's trying to mess up, just so he CAN impress me?
He doesn't want this, it sucks being in trouble all the time!
I can't do that to him...
"Hey Hiro! Um... I was wondering, what kind of-?"
"Eiji... I can't." She said.
He stopped. "Wait, what are you saying...?"
She looked away. "I can't be with you. I'm sorry."
His eyes widened. "Hiro!? If I did something, just tell me! Hiro...?"
She walked away, and concealed her tears.
...
Eiji stood there, frozen. Just confused and motionless.
Why would she say that?
What did I do...?
All I wanted was to be with her, I even wanted to get her...
Dammit! DAMMIT! WHAT DID I DO!?
What's been up with her lately?
She seems so closed off, and unapproachable...
What did I do wrong...?
...
Hiro walked back up to her room.
She punched the wall, and left a hole.
"Dammit! I'm such an IDIOT!"
She looked at the wall...
"Uh oh... Shit, what do I do!? They're going to see it!"
Junichi sighed. "I'm staying out of this one..."
"I need to hot something." She said.
She grabbed her club, and walked over to her parents.
"Can I go outside for a minute?" She asked.
"I'll be fast."
They looked at each other, and nodded.
"Just be back soon, it starting to get dark." Said Linn.
She nodded, and walked outside. She ran to one of the old pens. The Leviathan's saw her.
"A MISTRESS!? YOU'RE HERE!"
"She's HERE!" They screamed.
She swung at the pen, blowing parts of it to splinters.
"DAMMIT! GOD DAMMIT!" She screamed.
"The Mistress is angry..." Said Fred.
"No, I think she's sad..." Said Talin.
Tears spilled out of her eyes.
"What is WRONG WITH ME!? WHY am I just such a FAILURE!? A SCREW UP!?"
"I can't do ANYTHING RIGHT!"
She continued to smash the rubble on the ground.
"Eiji's parents hate me! Eiji probably hates me! My parents don't trust me! And EVERYTHING'S FALLING APART!"
She fell to her knees, and cried.
Someone touched her shoulder.
Hiro looked up, and saw the woman Eiji was sitting with that one day.
She knelt down. "He doesn't hate you. That kid doesn't have a hateful bone in his body. Are you two having problems?"
Hiro sniffed. "I'm the problem. I always get him into trouble, and I didn't want him to try to mess up just to impress me..."
She laughed softly. "No, actually it's quite the opposite!"
Hiro stared at her. "What!? What do you mean...?"
"Eiji isn't trying to get himself in trouble, he's trying to get you out of trouble..."
She smiled. "You're all he talks about! He's been pretty worried about you..."
Hiro looked down. "I'm such an idiot..."
"Don't say that." She said. "It will only make things worse. You know, I was your age once. The difference is, my parents weren't good people, and all of the guys I hung around weren't amazing either."
She smiled sadly. "I was so frustrated, and angry all of the time... I ran away at 14, and had Navin at 15. The man I was living with was horrible, and I tried to run from him one day. He found us at the Warrior's Respite, where we were staying. Eiji saw what he was doing, and got rid of him. That young boy, is the one who freed me from that life..."
She looked at Hiro. "Don't go down that path. You have a family that loves you, and you have Eiji. Don't give that up for what I did... I know it's hard growing up, but with a family like that? You'll turn out just fine, I know it."
Nobody had ever told Hiro that she would turn out fine, then again, she'd never really given them the chance.
She hugged the woman, and cried.
"I just... I don't know what they want from me!? I feel like whenever I try to something right, I just mess it all up anyway!"
She sighed. "You probably don't mess up as much as you think. Nobody hates you, they just have a hard time understanding where you are right now. You'll be okay, I'm sure of it..."
Hiro felt a familiar tiredness wash over her.
"T...Take me back to the... Warrior's... I'm..."
She fell asleep.