This update is a little late, I know. I'm doing Camp NaNoWriMo this month, so it's easy to lose track of time. The good news is that I anticipate finishing the writing part of this story by the end of August so from there it's just editing and steady updates :)
Thank you so much to liz-04 and sarahwood for reviewing, it's always wonderful to hear your thoughts on the chapter!
For those of you who are hoping for more Caspian, the next chapter will have what you seek. ;)
Chapter 8
She shrugs at the strange look Suncloud gives her.
"A girl has to have some secrets, doesn't she?" It's more of a rhetorical question, so she doesn't feel quite so bad for getting annoyed when he shakes his head.
"You needn't have secrets here."
"It was rhetorical," she answers, unsure whether to be firm or sarcastic.
"Has something happened while you've been here?" he asks, forehead creasing in concern.
Technically, it happened on the way here.
"Not here, no," she finally says, hoping against all hope that he won't ask. He wouldn't really want to know anyway, about her demon breaking into her hospital room when he doesn't even know about the hospital.
He looks at her for long moments like he knows exactly what she's thinking, like he's debating whether to ask for details she won't give.
At last, he nods once. "Do not hesitate to ask if you need anything."
Miranda doesn't think it's necessary to point out that she doesn't make it a habit to ask for much of anything. So instead, she smiles and nods like she will, if only to try to make up for being difficult.
She's expecting Suncloud to leave and let her return to her training, but he surprises her; he suggests a walk around the How so they can catch up. Naturally, that sounds much more appealing than swinging a fake sword around for the few hours until dinner, and so she agrees.
They walk and talk, mostly of the things she missed. She makes a point of asking him about the Kings and Queens, both out of a vague curiosity and because she knows that will keep the focus away from her.
As it turns out, they're quite a pleasant sort, if she believes her friend. Queen Lucy is the youngest and friendliest, Queen Susan is practical but kind, King Edmund is stoic with a hidden sense of humor, and High King Peter is a determined leader. They sound agreeable, but secretly Miranda is in no rush to meet them. She asks how they get along with Prince Caspian, but that doesn't have so pleasant of an answer.
"Prince Caspian still doubts himself, and High King Peter is eager to take charge. Perhaps too eager, at times," Suncloud says after a brief hesitation, voice hushed even though there isn't anyone around.
She isn't surprised about the first part, and she's a little sorry about the second. The prince doesn't need to question himself any more than he does already.
Miranda says this aloud, though she isn't sure why. Suncloud nods and agrees, which surprises her more than it should.
Once the subject of the new leaders has been exhausted, Suncloud asks more about how she's found her training to be.
She tries to sound nonchalant. "It could be better, of course, but doesn't everyone have trouble at the beginning? I'll work it out," Miranda says with a shrug.
"You do not like the sword, I think," her friend returns with a slight grin.
"Not really, no." She almost asks if there isn't something else she can learn, but Urothorn really is a good teacher and she doesn't want to offend him.
"Have you thought to try the bow?"
She hadn't.
"That's an option?"
He nods in the affirmative. "Queen Susan is starting the training tomorrow. You are welcome to join them."
"I won't offend anyone? You know, for switching?"
"Naturally not! Everyone has their own skillset, Mira, and there's no fault in that."
How is everyone so very nice here? She's a stranger still, and yet she feels almost at home. How odd.
At length, she smiles her first real smile in days.
"Thank you. I think I'd like bows and arrows a little better than swords."
Before she knows it, the hours til dinner have passed and it's almost like it was in the forest, having dinner with Suncloud. There are many more people – creatures? – around here than there were in the forest, but she almost forgets her apprehension at this mass of relative strangers with the centaur next to her, joking every now and again because why not.
To her surprise, Nartus trots up and timidly asks to join her.
"Of course Nartus, you don't even need to ask," she replies with a warmth she didn't know she had in her.
Well, even though Nartus can be a little too talkative sometimes, he still is shy, and it feels good to help set him a bit more at ease.
She introduces him to Suncloud, and at first he seems intimidated by the son of one of Narnia's generals. But soon Suncloud's easygoing nature wins him over and the three of them talk as if they're old friends.
And so Miranda passes dinner in between a centaur and a faun. She's had dinner with centaurs and fauns quite a bit since coming to Narnia, but something about tonight feels less unreal. Tonight, she almost feels home, even though she knows that's absurd because Narnia can't be a home if it isn't real. She still hasn't worked that one out yet.
But sitting in between Suncloud and Nartus, chatting with them about nothing and anything, she finds she doesn't care. It's real right now and that's what counts.
The next morning, she wakes early as usual, grabs a bow and quiver, and trudges outside to where Suncloud said Queen Susan would be teaching the art of the bow. She's relieved to see a sizable number of people there. Hopefully, it'll be easier for her to blend in.
And thank goodness she's arrived before they started. She melts into the crowd as easily as anything. Well, it's a bit different because she's human and they notice, but the fauns are really quite nice and she finds herself chattering pleasantly with them before too long. Apparently they're just waiting for Queen Susan and a few others.
And just as the faun next to her finishes saying just that, Queen Susan arrives, looking every bit as regal and confident as she did walking into the How with her siblings.
She quickly introduces herself, not exactly short but not precisely easygoing either. She tells them she needs to see where everyone is, skill-wise, so she can figure out what they need most from her. Miranda instantly wants to hide under a rock. She's never shot an arrow in her life.
Luckily, perhaps, as soon as Queen Susan finishes her slightly but not entirely brusque greeting, she hones in on Miranda.
What should she do? Try and blend in? Smile and say hello like a normal, friendly person?
Miranda is still trying to decide what would be best to do when Queen Susan reaches her, looking more curious than anything.
"Queen Susan," Miranda greets her, doing her best to dip into a curtsy. That's what you're supposed to do around royalty, right?
"There's no need for that," the Queen tells her with a smile that's a bit warmer than her greeting to the entire group. "I don't mean to be rude, but are you a Telmarine?"
Miranda shakes her head.
"I'm just a girl." That much is obvious. "Human," she adds. And that is obvious as well.
"I'm sorry, it's just that I haven't heard of another human coming to Narnia. Well, not for a long time. Are you Miranda?"
"Yes, that's me. How did you know?"
"Caspian told us about you," she says simply.
Prince Caspian told the Kings and Queens about her? Why? Surely she's not that important.
As if she can read her thoughts, Queen Susan smiles. "The arrival of another Daughter of Eve is a bit important. My sister quite wants to meet you."
Queen Lucy wants to meet her? Miranda's head is starting to spin.
"Would you sit with us at dinner? Lucy's determined to get to know you."
"Sure. I mean, of course," Miranda manages to stammer out. Dinner with kings and queens and princes. Who would have thought?
"Wonderful. Now am I correct in assuming you don't have experience with a bow?"
Miranda dips her head in embarrassment and admits Queen Susan is, in fact, correct.
"That's alright, many of the Narnians here have little experience themselves. But you'd best be prepared to learn fast."
Miranda can only hope she doesn't crash and burn at this as badly as she did with the swordplay.
At first, it looks as though she will do exactly that, but Queen Susan gently explains it to her as she has the others shoot at a Telmarine dummy held up by Trufflehunter. Miranda's pleased when she makes her first shot and it actually brushes the dummy. Far from good, but it's about where most of the others have fallen and so she's pleased with the result.
Yet another volley of ill-aimed arrows flies at the barely-scratched dummy, Miranda's among them. She feels a little proud to be at least blending into the pack, but Queen Susan's face is pinched like she's trying to hide her disappointment. At the end of the volley, Trufflehunter appears from behind the dummy and confirms the result.
"Not a scratch," the badger says, and Miranda can feel the weight of the words on the group of them.
"It's alright," Queen Susan tells them after a few long seconds. "Rome wasn't built in a day," she adds quietly, almost as an afterthought they weren't meant to hear.
Murmurs pass through the Narnians - mostly confusion at the unfamiliar phrase. Miranda feels a little sorry for Queen Susan who has to teach them, especially when turns of phrase familiar to her are foreign and confusing to her pupils. It's quite a predicament to find oneself in.
The hiss of another projectile launching toward the stuffed suit distracts all of them from talk of Rome and how long it took to build it. Trufflehunter lets out an indignant yell at the close call that nearly took the fur off his ear.
Miranda looks to the other archers in training standing in the line around her as they all do the same. No one knows who fired that one. Queen Susan is just praising the shot when a thick accent announces the presence of Prince Caspian and his crossbow.
"I thought you could use some help," he finishes his greeting as he walks over, eyes trained on Queen Susan.
Miranda watches the scene unfold with the same curiosity as the rest of her fellow trainees, though she wonders if they feel the same twinge of discomfort and awkwardness that she's feeling pinching at her stomach. She feels as though she's intruding on some private moment, even though they're technically just discussing a target for the uncharacteristically self-assured prince to hit to prove his skill. At least, that's what she's gathered from the exchange.
A quick glance around shows her that the Narnians around her are having mixed reactions to this. Some look on in blatant curiosity they don't even try to hide, others peek over like they're ashamed but too interested not to look, and the rest either shift uncomfortably from foot to foot (or hoof to hoof) and avoid glancing that way altogether or seem to not care in the slightest, picking at splinters in their bows and chatting with a neighbor like there's nothing of interest going on at all. And as for Miranda? She's somewhere in the middle of trying to pretend they aren't there flirting none-too-subtly and too curious not to look over a few times.
Prince Caspian takes aim at a tree that seems a little too far away to shoot at, in Miranda's humble opinion. But it looks as though Queen Susan is daring him to at least attempt the shot, and so he does. Miranda tries to avert her gaze.
Instead of gawking, like a few of the fauns on her left are doing, she reacquaints herself with the bow and strings an arrow. Best get in her practice whenever she can.
A few of the fauns join her in taking aim at the as yet untouched dummy. None of them manage to hit it straight on, but a few arrows brush the sides. Most hit one of the trees behind, and a few, including Miranda's, fly off somewhere into the forest.
A thud and a grunt sound from the forest, drawing their attention to a horse with an empty saddle galloping away. Prince Caspian and Queen Susan start running toward the tree line and disappear into it as Miranda stands surprised and looks on with the rest of the Narnians.
Queen Susan darts back outside of the trees asking which one of them fired that shot. All of the archers in training look at each other, unsure. Miranda starts to open her mouth to reply that it could have been any of them, but then she remembers where she is – in a strange world with strangers whom she hasn't decided to trust for sure yet – and claps it back shut again.
And then she opens it once more because she thinks someone is dead, because Prince Caspian is carrying a limp body covered in armor out of the trees.
"It could have been anyone. We kind of missed the dummy." Miranda finds her heart is in her throat at the words, simply because they are words and they're coming out of her mouth and she can feel so many eyes looking right at her.
She's almost expecting to be made fun of or brushed off, though that's an irrational thought. But Queen Susan just sighs.
"I know. Thank you, whoever it was. You stopped a Telmarine soldier from reporting back and giving away our position."
Queenly gratitude sounds like such a difficult concept to wrap her head around, but Miranda quickly decides that Queen Susan is the walking, talking, breathing definition of the term at the moment. Queen Susan the…Gentle? Isn't that what Suncloud said? She does seem gentle, somehow, because she's sad that someone's dead but relieved that he won't bring the Telmarines crashing down on all their heads.
The whole thing must be so complicated. Miranda almost wishes for home before she remembers exactly what home entails. She's grateful to be here all in a rush, and then sorry for being grateful, and then ashamed because this is a gift, her time here, and she should at least appreciate it.
But the more pressing question she has at the moment is what, exactly, Prince Caspian intends to do with the body slung over his shoulders. Perhaps he means to bury him; after all, it is a fellow Telmarine. He can't really leave him there in the woods, come to think of it. That would be a dead give away.
She's tempted to ask, but that isn't really her place. The royals can handle one dead body.
It's just then, as Prince Caspian is walking off with the body, presumably to bury it, and Queen Susan is just starting to go through some helpful tips for accuracy, that Miranda realizes that it could have been her arrow. She could have killed that soldier. She just might have blood on her hands.
It shouldn't matter. He was going to report back about their location, and so many Narnians could have died in the attack. She should be happy that she might have been the one to stop him.
She's not.
The thought of taking another life suddenly makes her sick, almost sick to her stomach right there in front of everyone. She shouldn't be so horrified, she shouldn't, but she is and it's all she can do to keep her face still and try not to betray her thoughts to everyone else.
She could have killed. Did she kill? Miranda knows she didn't mean to, it would have been an accident if it actually was her arrow.
By some miraculous force of will, Miranda manages to get through the rest of the long day. Her aim suffers from her distraction, but as her aim wasn't spectacular to begin with, no one really notices. Queen Susan does, perhaps, but she's kind enough to not say anything.
Noon comes and goes, the sun starts to sink on the horizon, and still Miranda can't help but wonder if it might have been her who killed that soldier. He was only doing his duty, following orders, doing all he'd ever known most likely. But that would have cost so much to the Narnians.
She's so caught up in her dark wonderings that she almost forgets that Queen Susan wanted her to meet Queen Lucy at dinner. Luckily, Queen Susan doesn't let her forget; she goes up to Miranda and reminds her.
"I think we're done for now. We can only get so much done on the first day." Queen Susan sounds disappointed, her face pinched a little at the eyes and around the mouth.
"Then I guess it's time for me to meet your sister." Miranda tries to sound cheerful, she really does, but she's afraid it sounds more forced than it should.
"The soldier's death was unsettling, wasn't it?"
Miranda's tongue almost sticks to the roof of her mouth. She can only nod.
"I haven't seen someone die before," she finally manages to get out, voice hoarse from her efforts to not tear up.
"Neither had I, before I first came here. It gets easier, but it never gets pleasant."
"How did you deal with it?" Miranda asks as they begin walking back toward the How.
Queen Susan shrugs. "The first time I saw death was Aslan at the Stone Table. Crying helped, but mostly I tried to comfort Lucy. It was a good distraction."
"You were there? At the Stone Table?" Miranda remembers Suncloud telling her about Aslan's sacrifice for King Edmund, but she somehow didn't remember that Queen Susan was there to see it.
"Lucy and I saw the whole thing. But we were so happy when Aslan came back that morning, alive and well as though nothing had happened."
Miranda makes sure not to point out that the Telmarine soldier certainly isn't coming back from the dead, nor would it be quite so wonderful if he did.
"I'm afraid I don't have much advice. There isn't much to do about it," Queen Susan adds.
"Perhaps meeting Queen Lucy will be a welcome distraction then," Miranda offers, as much for herself as for Queen Susan. She can dwell on this later, but for now it's probably best if she lets the subject drop.
Queen Susan immediately picks up this new subject thread, obviously relieved to not speak of death anymore.
"I'm sure it will. She will want to know all about how you came here, I warn you. She's very excited to hear about how another human girl got into Narnia."
"It was completely by accident, I promise," Miranda answers with a smile, putting away her loaned bow and quiver now that they've reached the armory.
Queen Susan smiles. "Lucy stumbled into Narnia quite by accident as well."
"Does that happen often? People just stumbling into Narnia?" Miranda asks, confused. Why are there so few humans from her world if people can just fall in to this one?
"No, not at all. As far as we know, it's just been us and you."
Miranda instantly wants to curl up. What's so special about her that she got to come here?
"I confess I'm a bit curious as to how you got here myself. I think we all are," Queen Susan continues as they leave the armory and head toward the cavern where everyone eats.
And there it is again. Veritable strangers asking her about personal matters. She should be as put off and unsure as she was with Glenstorm, but this time it feels a little better. Maybe just because it doesn't seem so intimidating, telling the fantastic tale over dinner with two queens close to her age. She doesn't get the feeling they could snap her neck inside two seconds, nor that they ever might want to.
"I think I should warn you, I normally don't take well to people asking all about my life," she says quietly, almost as though she's ashamed of it. Should she be?
Queen Susan nods, almost like that's to be expected.
"Well you've only just met me and you'll have met Lucy moments before she starts asking, so I think that's understandable. Just cough if you're uncomfortable and I can change the subject for you."
She'd do that?
"Thank you," Miranda says simply. She's expecting to be able to tell them when to stop asking, but it's nice to have the back up.
They arrive at the cavern and get their soup. The whole time Miranda's trying to wrap her head around the impending reality that she's about to eat dinner with royalty. Well, she's eaten dinner with royalty before - her first night in Narnia when Prince Caspian woke from being hit on the head - but this feels different.
Queen Susan leads her to a table where a young girl and a dark-haired boy are sitting. They must be her siblings, Queen Lucy and King Edmund, unless Miranda misses her guess.
As soon as Queen Lucy sees them, she springs up and rushes over with a grand, toothy smile on her face.
"You must be Miranda! I'm Lucy," she greets, still with that almost oversized smile.
"Nice to meet you, Queen Lucy," Miranda says, blinking twice at the brunette's exuberance. How does she keep that kind of perk up during a war?
Queen Lucy smiles even wider, if such a thing is possible, and says, "Oh that's not necessary. Lucy is just fine."
"Alright, Lucy."
The three of them sit down at Susan's prompting. Queen Lucy makes full sure Miranda sits with her and Queen Susan takes the seat next to her brother, King Edmund. Miranda manages to get two heaping spoons of soup down before Queen Lucy starts with the questions.
"Caspian told us a bit about you, but I'm curious to hear from you how you ended up here. I happened upon Narnia quite by accident myself, you see, and I think the same might be true for you."
Miranda takes another spoon of the almost scalding soup and chews on a chunk of potato before answering, "It is. I woke up here without really knowing what on earth happened."
"You woke up here? What do you mean?"
Miranda almost comments on how Queen Lucy is now completely ignoring her soup, but she opts instead for taking another steaming spoonful.
"I mean I was in a car accident and when I woke up, I was here and not on the side of the road. The whole thing was strange."
Queen Lucy frowns, seeming to puzzle over this explanation.
"You don't remember walking through something? A door perhaps?"
Miranda shakes her head. "No. It was like waking up in a dream. A very good but very strange dream."
Queen Lucy glances at her abandoned soup for a moment, looks across the table at her brother, King Edmund, as if to ask his opinion.
"What else happened before you woke up?" King Edmund asks her in a voice much deeper than she was expecting.
"I was on my way to…" She's not about to mention her fraying mental state of the time, but how else to explain where she was going? "A doctor's appointment, and I was driving across town. Someone was a little close behind me, and next thing I knew the car was swerving and I blacked out."
"And you woke up in Narnia?" Queen Susan really says it more like a statement, since Miranda knows she's mentioned that several times.
Miranda nods through another mouthful of soup and chews on a bit of mushy carrot.
"That's right. Just outside Trufflehunter's cave."
"And Caspian was already inside, yes?" Queen Lucy asks, clearly trying to piece the whole peculiar thing together into something sensible.
"He was out cold. He came to soon after Trufflehunter and Nikabrik showed me inside though." Miranda feels a smirk sneak onto her face. "He wasn't exactly the model guest."
"Oh?" Queen Susan seems interested in this, and Miranda has to remind herself not to crack a joke about the flirting earlier in the afternoon.
"Anytime you start swinging a fire poker like a sword at one of your hosts, they're bound to be a little sour about it. And spilling soup never helps matters."
Miranda has no idea where this joking ease is coming from, but she decides that she likes the feeling it brings. Freedom.
The three royals all chuckle, which only boosts Miranda's mood. She rather likes them; she can almost forget they're, well, royal. They seem like mature fellow teens she can talk to normally. It probably helps that they're from her world.
"Is there anything else? I'm still a bit confused," Queen Lucy asks once the amusement dies down.
Miranda thinks that yes, there certainly is something else, mainly that sometimes she wakes up in the hospital. But can she tell them that? Is she ready to tell people she's only just met about that very personal aspect of her time here?
Queen Susan must pick up on her hesitation, because she gracefully changes the subject to how Miranda is liking Narnia.
"It's magic, I guess is the best way to put it." Miranda wants to add that it's safe, but that might provoke another question she's not quite ready to answer.
"Yes, it is." Queen Lucy smiles at her simple answer, and somehow that makes Miranda feel so much more at ease. They won't force her to answer anything she doesn't want to, she realizes.
She's lucky.
For the rest of dinner, the three royal siblings make small talk with Miranda, which she happily participates in. It feels relaxing, easy, to talk to people close to her own age. Even more so to talk to people from the same world as her. Give or take a few decades, as she soon finds out from King Edmund, but still.
That she can hold a conversation with King Edmund and not fall to nervous bits is a rather large source of pride for her. Miranda was sure she'd be uncomfortable at best, but he's not threatening in the least and doesn't elicit much of her attention anyway. He seems content to speak little and looks at her even less, not out of disgust but simply because, she thinks, he doesn't know her and he's perhaps a bit shy. It also helps that he's a bit younger than she is. After all, her demon was a bit older.
After they've all finished their soup and exhausted the small talk of their homes and Narnia and their favorite things to do on rainy days, the trio of them leave the cavern. (Queen Lucy has a propensity for hide and seek, apparently, and Queen Susan likes to put the time to good use with schoolwork. King Edmund prefers to nap, because he says the rain makes him sleepy.)
King Edmund peels off to speak to his older brother, High King Peter, and catch up on the strategy he inevitably was concocting during dinner with Prince Caspian and Glenstorm, but Queen Lucy and Queen Susan seem quite content to walk off dinner by strolling about the How with Miranda in between them.
Queen Lucy is still curious about Miranda's story, however, and asks her once more if anything odd has happened after her arrival in Narnia.
Funnily enough, Miranda feels just safe enough to tell the two of them, these Queens no older than she is, about the hospital. So she does, in minimal detail.
"It's only some nights, not many at all," she says, regarding how often it happens that she wakes up there and not in Narnia. "It seems random," she adds as an afterthought.
Both Queen Lucy and Queen Susan don't seem to know what to make of this new revelation. Miranda shrugs at their puzzled faces, because she isn't sure what to make of it either.
"I'm not sure what to think," Queen Lucy finally says, breaking the strange silence. "But Aslan wouldn't have brought you here if he didn't have a reason."
"What reason might that be?" Miranda is keenly aware of how skeptical she sounds, but she doesn't think it to be all that unreasonable. After all, it's a bit of a leap to think that a talking lion wants her here for some grander purpose than sheer accident. Then again, this whole Narnia thing is a bit of a leap in and of itself.
"Aslan might take his time in answering that," Queen Susan answers, a bit sadly if Miranda's reading her soft tone correctly.
"He's not been around as much this time," Queen Lucy explains. Well, sort of. The explanation only confuses Miranda more until it clicks that Queen Lucy must mean the last time to be the Pevensies' first trip to Narnia.
"I'm sorry," Miranda says, because she isn't sure what else to say.
The three walk along for a little while longer in a surprisingly comfortable silence until Miranda excuses herself on the pretense of going to bed early and catching up on sleep. The sister queens graciously excuse her and continue on as Miranda peels off.
As soon as they round a bend and she's out of eyesight, Miranda starts off in the opposite direction of her sleeping area. Rather, she heads straight for one of the ledges she stumbled upon one day while she was trying to find the armory on her own.
The sun is well set by now, and there's a chill in the new autumn air that puts goose-bumps on her arms. Miranda breathes a bit easier out here, where there's no one around and she doesn't have to hide quite so much. Out here, there's no one to hide from.
She only intends to stay out on the ledge, sitting on the sparse grass with her legs dangling over the edge, for a few minutes, but Miranda quickly finds that she doesn't have the wherewithal to get up. So she sits there quietly, basking in the cool air and reminding herself that she doesn't have to have quite so many masks up right now. If she wants to, she can just feel.
Sadly, Miranda isn't sure quite how to do that.
She stays out there for what must be several hours; the stars creep across the sky, wisps of clouds come and go, crickets chirp every now and then, the moon rises from the tips of the trees to being nestled among the stars. All is peaceful, but Miranda finds that inside, she is anything but. She can't pinpoint exactly why, nor does she wish to.
'There never is a good time for dealing with all of this,' she thinks, twisting her fingers together like that'll help matters.
She's startled from her thoughts by soft footsteps on the ground behind her.
I couldn't resist a small cliffhanger...:)
sarahwood - Remembering is definitely important, even if it's not the easiest thing in the world. You hit the nail on the head about there being just so much confusion, but at least Suncloud can help cut the tension just a little!
Review!