A/N: Sorry I'm a day late in posting this! I had a friend come over yesterday and forgot about getting a new chapter up. I also have some bad news, I'm going to have to go down to posting every other Friday. I'm starting school next week, taking Pharmacology, which is probably going to be the hardest class in my entire major (RVT). Also, the chapters I've posted have caught up to my writing, which means I need to get more story written down before I can post it. Sorry!
Also, in response to a review from dcdcdctctdtdctd about promising a happy ending... I promise! Happy, happy ending, when we get there. It might be surprising how I plan to wrap it up, considering that my Demeter is not against Hades and Persephone being together. You'll see!
Chapter 20: Advice from the Ferryman
Over time, she began to talk to Charon about other subjects. For example, she noticed a tick in Lord Hades' face every time Sunny was mentioned. He had been excited to give her the horse, but at some point in the barn that first day, he seemed to lose a bit of enthusiasm.
"Do you like it down here?" Charon asked instead of answering her directly.
"I do," she answered freely.
"If there was no danger, would you go back to your old life?"
Would she? The question took her back. There were certain things she missed about her old life, but she was learning and doing so much more here. Being in the Underworld gave her a sense of purpose she hadn't had before. She had never considered what she would do if she wasn't in danger from the other gods. It had always been part of her stay here, and the thought of leaving made her sad. That was her answer then.
"No," she said slowly, "I don't think so."
"Do you like Hades?"
"You know I do. I've never met anyone like him."
"How does he treat you?"
"He's been a gentleman in every way. He treats me like an equal, and he's been very considerate. I couldn't ask for anything more from him. He's wonderful, really." She heard the longing in her own voice, and wondered if Charon could too. Despite their growing closeness, she still didn't know if Lord Hades thought of her as more than an inconvenient guest thrust on him by Demeter.
"It seems to me," Charon said carefully, "That you named your horse after the one thing that he can't give you down here."
She started in surprise, and then realized how it must have looked to Lord Hades. "No, that's not what I meant at all!" she exclaimed. "It's only because of Sunny's color, not because I was missing the sun. I could have easily called him Topaz, or Golden." She huddle in misery. "Do you think I should change Sunny's name?"
"Only you can answer that. You've pricked the man's pride once by choosing that name. Would you risk pricking it again by changing it?"
She shook her head. "No. But I'd like to make it clear to Lord Hades that I don't feel lacking in anything here."
Charon nodded. "I think that sounds like a good idea."
Being able to talk to Charon was a great help to her. Not only did he give her sound advice, but it was a relief to have another friend in the Underworld. It was easy to relax around him in a way that she couldn't around Lady Hecate and Lord Thanatos. She wished there was something she could do for him in appreciation. Her opportunity came almost a week later, when she realized that none of Charon's stories were written down.
"If you want, I could transcribe them as you speak," she offered gladly.
Charon went silent for such a long time she feared she had offended him.
"I would dearly like to see my stories written down," he began wistfully, "But I feel obligated to tell you that Hades had forbidden that they be recorded in any way. I already risk his wrath by daring to tell them on my boat. I would not want you to be at odds with him over this."
She blinked in surprise. "Why would he do that? This is his own history."
"That is true, but there are certain disturbing elements in some of the stories, which he does not wish to remember."
"You mean like the way you haven't told me the full details of the stories?" she asked shrewdly.
He didn't bother to hide it. "Even so," he agreed.
She thought about it. He hadn't refused her offer completely. He was only warning her of the potential risks if Lord Hades found out about it. It would mean a lot to him for his stories to be written down and remembered, or he wouldn't keep telling them despite being forbidden.
"I'd still like to write them down for you," she said at last.
Charon looked relieved and apprehensive. "And what about Hades?"
"I see this as a matter between you and I," she said boldly. "It doesn't need to concern him at all." It was a lie, of course. Most of the stories were about Lord Hades. He was involved whether he wanted to be or not. She wasn't stupid enough to think she could hide this from him forever. But she felt—she hoped—that he had enough tolerance to allow her this. If worse came to worse, she would take the blame for it, not Charon. She wanted to do this for her friend, and she would deal with the consequences as they came up. Until then, there was no sense in borrowing trouble. Charon gave her a long look, then agreed to it.
The next day she brought a quill, ink, and a scroll to Charon's boat. He started from the beginning of Lord Hades' part in the histories—and this time, he told her the truth. She was hard-put to hide her reaction to the horrific things he was telling her. If she hadn't known better, she would have thought he was embellishing the tales in order to frighten her. But his voice was grim, not sensational. He took no pleasure in another's pain.
Gone were the heroic, almost bloodless stories of the titan war. In their place was something from which nightmares were born. There was no doubt that the stories told by Athena and Artemis had sprung from the words she was now writing down. It had happened before the goddesses were born, but one of the original Olympians must have kept the stories alive. The stories had only grown in the retelling, and they haunted Lord Hades to this day. She was no longer surprised that he didn't have company. She could also see why he would want them forgotten.
It wasn't as simple as pretending they didn't exist, though. These experiences, as painful and terrifying as they were, had formed him. He'd learned and grown afterward. It took him ages to pull himself together. Without that, would he be the same man she loved today? Or would he be like Zeus, who had never been opposed in his life?
She learned more of Lord Hades than she expected. From Lady Hecate and Lord Thanatos, she learned of his kindness and generosity. From Charon, she learned of his sadness and agony. He had committed terrible acts during the titan war, and had atrocities committed against him. It was not her place to judge him. Some of his reactions made more sense now. When someone had been as burned and abandoned as he has been, they shied away from the ways of the world. It was truly a privilege to be one of his inner circle.
She learned of his many scars, both visible and not, and how he gained them. She ended more than one session with tears flowing down her face. Lord Hades became more precious to her. Not because of what he'd done during the war, but because of how close he, an immortal god, came close to ending. Immortality was a fragile thing when it came to a war between gods and titans.
The worst of it left her devastated and in no mood to face company. She went downstairs by route, but didn't enter the parlor. She waited outside, wiping away tears she hadn't managed to stop. Lord Hades came around the corner and saw her.
"Lady Persephone," he exclaimed, "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" He started to reach for her, but hesitated. Through the haze of her tears, she saw his indecision. His desire to comfort her warred with hisknowledge that he was unworthy to touch her. No matter how many times he washed his hands, he still felt the blood on them.
So she moved for him. She stepped into his arms, hugging him tight. Her hand went to his side, over the massive knot of scars she had written about that day. If she hadn't been watching for it, she might not have noticed his flinch. He didn't know that she knew about the scars. She laid her hand on his chest as his arms came around her.
"What is it?" he asked. His shadow prowled restlessly, looking for some way to avenge her.
She shook her head. "I don't feel like company right now. Can we go to your study?"
"Certainly," he agreed. His shadow snagged a passing shade. He instructed the maid to give their regrets to Lady Hecate and Lord Thanatos, then bring a meal up to his study.
"I'm not hungry," she murmured. All she wanted to spend time with him.
"But I am," he whispered back. The shade was dismissed, and they began walking toward his study. She leaned heavily on his arm, not because she wanted the support, but because she needed to feel him. Once they reached his study, a small, intimate meal had been set up for them on a little table. He pulled out a chair for her, and then took his own seat. He served himself some food, and wordlessly offered to do the same for her. She shook her head. Her stomach clenched at the thought of food. He reached out and took her hand. His fingers felt warm compared to hers. It was as if she could feel his life through his hand.
"Now, what shall we talk about?" he asked.
She shrugged. "Something happy," she suggested.
A smile touched his lips. "I haven't taken you to the Elysian fields yet, have I?" he began. "There are many different Elysian realms, actually…" and he went on to describe some of them as he ate. It was a light-hearted conversation, just what she needed to banish her sorrow. He was no longer on the battlefield she had written about, suffering, in agony, alone. He was in front of her, alive and well, speaking of a joyful place in his kingdom.
Every now and then he would add in comments like, "This really is very good. You should try some." He'd offer her something off his plate. She was slowly starting to relax, but still wasn't hungry. It was impossible to deny his gentle coaxing though. His eyes lit up in pleasure as she took the morsels from. That made it entirely worth it. He never did serve her, delighting instead in feeding her himself. They continued until she'd eaten a whole meal. She was aware of something shifting between them. They were acting like lovers, even more than usual when they were alone.
Afterwards they moved to the couch. She sat next to him as always, but then he did something he'd never done before. He turned his body sideways and put his legs up on the couch with hers. She knew instantly this was what she needed. She stretched out next to him, every line of her body touching his. He was so much taller than her that her feet didn't reach his. She loved this position. She loved that the couch wasn't wide enough for two people, so she was half-reclined, half-pinned to the back of the couch. His weight, lightly holding her in place, didn't make her feel trapped. It gave her a sense of freedom, as if she could surrender all control and he would never hurt her. She laid her head on his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his steady, deep breathing, hearing the strong, reassuring thump of his heart. She sighed in deep contentment. Yes, this was precisely what she'd needed.
He ran his hand through her hair and down her back. "Is this alright?" he asked.
She snuggled into him. "This is perfect," she slurred in pleasure.
"Will you tell me what happened? Did someone hurt you? Did someone say something to you?" His hand continued to stroke idly along her back. It was incredibly soothing.
A chill went down her spine. Her hand moved to his side again. This time he grunted and jerked. He caught her hand and rested it on his chest.
"Sorry, tickles," he lied. She allowed him the falsehood. Someday, she hoped, she would hear the story of those scars from his own lips instead of Charon's tales.
"Sometimes," she hedged, "You just need to cry, and then you feel better."
"Do you feel better?" he asked skeptically, not believing her any more than she believed him.
She hugged him. "I do now," she said fervently. He continued to hold her until she fell asleep.
It wasn't only Charon and Lord Hades that she made progress with. After weeks of practicing witchcraft, she finally began to manifest her magic. At first it was a blurry, vaguely shifting patch of green. The movement reminded her growing vines, and suddenly the green blur resolved into thin tendrils of new vines. There were a few nascent leaf buds that had not yet sprouted. She was utterly charmed by the manifestation of her magic. It seemed very appropriate for her, like nothing else would fit.
In the next instant she was crippled by head-splitting pain. Her skull was on fire, or being crushed, or maybe about to explode. She didn't know what it was, only that it hurt. Her head was about to fall off, or her brain would leak out her ears. She gasped and all but passed out. She collapsed in the middle of the lesson, clutching at her head. Lady Hecate came over to her.
"Don't worry," she said with a startling amount of pride in her voice, "It's always like that when your magic first begins to manifest. It will get better with practice. Why don't you take the rest of our session off today?"
It took Persephone several minutes before her headache subsided enough that she could move without vomiting. She rose unsteadily. When she was feeling this bad, there was only one place she wanted to be.
Lord Hades was about an hour into his judging when she entered the throne room. She tried to be unobtrusive but he saw her, in obvious distress, and immediately ordered everyone out. He met her halfway down the room and carried her back to his throne. He sat down and pulled her into his lap. She huddled against him, weak and miserable. When he understood that it was a headache, he began to massage her temples with his clever fingers. Eventually the ragged spikes stopped pounding into her skull. Her head still felt tender, but it was not nearly as bad as it had been.
"What happened?" he asked, "And don't try to avoid me like you did before!" He scowled at her.
She started guiltily. It seemed he hadn't accepted her explanation for her chin injury and the day she couldn't stop crying as well as she thought he had. She took a deep breath, and told the truth.
"Lady Hecate have been giving me witchcraft lessons," she admitted nervously.
He blinked in surprise. "Oh," he said blankly, not meeting her eyes. He quickly changed the subject.
Later she asked Charon about it. He nodded in understanding.
"You can ask Hecate about it," he began, "But everyone manifests magic in different ways. We can do certain things without manifesting, but for major items, you have to manifest. You've seen me work magic with coins. Thanatos has his scythe, and Hecate uses orbs." He raised his eyebrows expectantly at her. She realized at once who he'd left out.
"How does Lord Hades manifest his magic?" she asked.
"You've seen it, actually," he replied mysteriously. "It's always around him."
She thought about it, and only one answer came to mind. "His shadow?" she spluttered. "But it's always like that!" It nearly killed her to manifest her magic for a few seconds. Even Lady Hecate, Lord Thanatos and Charon were sparing when they manifested magic.
"In order to do that," she thought out loud, "It must take…"
"An enormous amount of power," Charon confirmed. "And he never feels the least bit drained from the effort. He doesn't notice it at all. I imagine, when he found out you were taking lessons, he was worried you'd find out how his magic manifests, and then you'd know what a freak he is."
"He's not a freak!" she snapped hotly.
He gave her an indulgent smile. "You and I both know that," he said, "But Hades thinks he is different, and that's how he feels."
Persephone nodded in understanding. Over the next few days, she made sure to treat Lord Hades the way she always did. His shadow had not bothered her before she knew what it was, and it didn't bother her now. Once he realized it, he relaxed around her once more.
Life in the Underworld went on as normal. Persephone was kept very busy, but she couldn't remember a time when she was happier.