A/N: I'm sorry it's been so long since my last update I can't believe how fast time has gone. I still can't promise regular updates, but I will promise never to abandon this story! So, in reward for your patience with me, the next chapter or two will be extra warm and fuzzy! As always, thanks for your reviews, you help me keep going!
P.S. I got a 95% on my first midterm!
Chapter 23: Every Day Better
When Persephone said she loved him, Hades never imagined he could be happier than in that moment. He was wrong. Every day was better than the last. Every day he found more things to love about her, fell harder in love with her. It began the next morning after their declaration. Before she came to the Underworld, he found it hard to get up in the morning. What did he have to get up for? Now though, he was awake early. He had enough time to reach out to the Underworld and create a flower for her. Now that he was finally courting her, he felt free to express all the little gestures he'd been suppressing. He gave her the flower to her when she opened the door.
"Hades," she said in pleasure. They shared a chaste kiss. "This is beautiful." She tucked the flower in her hair.
"You make it beautiful," he responded, and she blushed. "I love you," he added.
She gave a little gasp and a shiver. He frowned, not expecting that reaction. She smiled wanly and touched his cheek.
"I was afraid yesterday was a dream," she admitted, "I love you too."
That made him smile. "Then I had the same dream, and I don't want to wake up." He cupped her face in his palm, then kissed her lightly. She hummed in pleasure, making him grin. It was all he could do not to scoop her up and press her against him. He settled for tucking her against his side as they went down to breakfast. His heart felt light for the first time in centuries. What a wonderful change one goddess could wreak upon him!
They reached the parlor door, and she pulled away from him. He stopped to look at her. She put her hand on his arm, but kept a careful distance between them. After last night and this morning, why was she suddenly shying from him? Her expression was… stoic. She was trying to be brave, to cover the hurt lingering in her eyes.
He had to resist the urge to growl at whatever was causing her distress. Nothing would touch the woman he loved in his own home! It was difficult to calm himself, but he had no desire to upset her further. He took both her hands in his as he faced her.
"Persephone," he began in a far gentler tone than he thought himself capable, "I had hoped today that we could announce our courtship."
Uncertainty flashed over her face. Her eyes darted to the parlor door, and he began to guess at her hesitation. Declaring he loved her in private was one thing, but she was intimidated at the thought of revealing it to others. He should have told her not to worry; Hecate and Thanatos would likely be overjoyed that he had finally decided to court her.
"You would do that?" she asked nervously.
"Of course," he said firmly. "I love you, and I'm not going to hide it."
"You want that? I mean, you were always so careful, before."
Abruptly, he understood. This was his fault. He kissed her hands, still holding onto them.
"I'm sorry for that," he said in a low tone. "I did not realize my actions would damage you so much. I can see how they would make you feel insecure. I've been fighting my attraction to you from the moment you came to my kingdom. Hecate and Thanatos saw it, and tried to encourage us in any way possible. I worried about taking advantage of you, since you were already under my power. I didn't want them to falsely assume about us, so I held back in front of them. Now, though, I am not ashamed of being with you. I want to tell the world about us."
She trembled, blinking rapidly as if to ward off tears. "Really?"
"Absolutely," he swore fervently. Unable to resist, he pulled her to him and pressed soft kisses to her forehead, her cheeks, her lips. She nuzzled into him. Her hand crept up and played with the hair at the back of his neck, sending shivers of pleasure down his spine. She watched him curiously.
"What changed your mind?" she asked quietly.
"Hmm?" he responded incoherently. It was impossible to think when she was touching him like this.
"You said you were afraid of taking advantage of me. What changed your mind about not saying anything?"
"I watched you. I saw how strong and courageous you could be. You weren't afraid to stand up for what you believed in. I realized, if you wanted nothing to do with me, you'd have no problem with turning me down."
She gave a disbelieving laugh. "I don't think I could ever tell you no."
He raised his eyebrows. Was that what she thought? He'd have to prove her wrong. Without warning he swooped down and grabbed her around the waist. He lifted her in the air, spinning in circles.
She gasped and laughed, clutching at his arms. "Hades! Put me down!" She hit his shoulder playfully.
He stopped and gently lowered her, though he kept his hold on her. She rested drunkenly against him.
"See?" he said breathlessly, "You have no problem telling me to stop."
She paused in surprise, and then smiled. "Maybe you're right," she agreed. She put her arms around his neck and leaned up to whisper in his ear, "But I would have never told you no after you kissed me." And she pressed her lips to his cheek.
A fine shiver ran through him. Had he thought he was courting her? Apparently, she was pursuing him as well.
"No, me either," he said hoarsely when she pulled back. He put both hands on her shoulders, squeezing lightly.
"Are you ready?"
"When you say you love me, I'm ready for anything."
"I love you."
"And I love you too." She covered his hands with hers. He intertwined their fingers with one hand, and used the other to push open the parlor door.
They walked in together, smiling at each other. Hecate and Thanatos glanced at them, then hurriedly pretended to see nothing. Hades suppressed a grin. His advisors were trying to give them the illusion of privacy, in the hope he'd continue touching Persephone if it didn't seem like they were encouraging it. Little did they know not even blatant, accusing stares could tear him away from his beloved. He was about to make his friends very happy. He cleared his throat loudly, and when he had their attention, he deliberately raised her hand and kissed it. Their eyes went wide in shock. This was too easy.
"Persephone and I would like to make an announcement," he declared, unable to hide his smile. How long had he dreamed of being able to say these words, to have this beautiful woman acknowledged at his side like she deserved? He swore his advisors stopped breathing.
"I have asked her, and she has granted her consent. We are now courting," he flushed with pride.
There was a stunned silence for a moment. He could almost see them thinking, wondering how after all this time of trying to push them together, it had happened under their noses. And then they burst out into congratulations.
"Good for you!"
"We're happy for you!"
They spoke over each other, moving forward. Thanatos offered his hand to Hades, while Hecate pulled Persephone into a hug.
"It will be my privilege to serve you both," Thanatos said, shaking his hand heartily.
Next to them, Hecate was saying, "You truly make him happy."
"Thank you, Lady Hecate."
"No, you should call me Hecate, and I shall call you Lady Persephone," the older goddess said, stunning the younger, before turning to him.
"I really believe the two of you will be good for each other," she told him.
"Lady Persephone," Thanatos bowed deeply to her, "I do not think there is anyone more suited for each other than the both of you."
"Thank you," Persephone said shyly, then gained courage, "I love him."
Her words shot through him like one of Eros' arrows. It was the first time they'd confessed their love in front of others. Tender feeling threatened to overwhelm him as he responded, "And I love her as well." Joy bloomed in his chest. She leaned into him, and he kissed the top of her head.
"Aww, don't you look darling!" Hecate cackled, while Thanatos looked on indulgently.
Breakfast after that was a lively affair. Everyone was in the mood to celebrate. Hecate and Thanatos worked to make sure Persephone was welcome. Hades called for a rare wine to be brought out, one of Dionysus' vintages made from mortal grapes. Eventually he would offer her the choice to become bound to the Underworld by sampling its fruits, but not until she was bound to him first. As for himself, he was already wondering when he could propose to her.
She needed more time. This morning had shown him that. She knew that he loved her, but she didn't understand what that meant. He loved all of her, without reservation. She needed to know that he didn't love her because she was dependent on him, or because she was the first woman to set foot in his kingdom. It wasn't because she thought herself lower than him; he knew she was his equal in every way. Had they met in any other way, under any other circumstance, he still believed he would have fallen in love with her. Once she realized it, then he would feel confident in proposing to her.
After the meal, when they stood to separate, his held his hand out to her.
"Come with me?" he asked her. She hesitated, looking at Hecate.
"Go on," the older goddess laughed, flapping her hands at them. "I'll not be the one to keep you lovers apart."
Persephone blushed, and Hades fixed Hecate with a stern look.
"That was uncalled for," he warned. He was now courting Persephone, and he wasn't going to allow others to tarnish her reputation.
Hecate blanched. "I apologize. I only meant, I am happy to see you together, and she can certainly be spared from lessons and such for the day."
He nodded slowly, though he wondered what she meant by and such. What else did his love usually do besides learning witchcraft? He led Persephone to his throne room, where they sat through his standard hours of judging souls. She still sat at his feet, but he knew she wouldn't remain there much longer. He had every intention of granting her full rights to his kingdom. She would sit on her own throne next to his, and have as much power to judge the dead as himself.
When the judging was finished, he pulled her into his lap and kept his vow to kiss her senseless. It was every bit as wonderful as he'd imagined. She was startled at first, but quickly became enthusiastic. He sensed this was a new tradition they were starting. She was so delightfully alive, she made him forget about the strain of judging, made the weariness fall from him. He was careful not to push too far, aware of how easily they could get swept away in their passion. The last thing he wanted was to anticipate their vows. She deserved more than to be used like a common tryst. He stopped, breathing hard as he forced his lips away from hers. She all but collapsed against him, tucking her head under his chin.
"I love you," he said raggedly.
"I love you," she repeated, also breathless. "I could get used to that."
He chuckled. "We have all day together, sweetheart," he murmured, trying out the endearment for the first time. He decided he liked it. "What do you want to do?"
"Actually, there's something I need to tell you," she began. "Can we go to your study?"
"Of course," he agreed. He wasn't worried about what she had to tell him. Nothing she could say would alter the way he loved her. He ordered lunch to the brought to his study as they walked there. They sat on the couch, at opposite ends for once, a food tray between them. She picked at her meal nervously.
"What is it?" he asked indulgently.
She looked up at him and took a deep breath. "You know how Lady Hecate, I mean, Hecate, has been teaching me witchcraft? She's been teaching me other things as well."
He blinked in surprise, but felt only curiosity.
"Like what?" he asked.
"Like—about the laundry, and housekeeping, and kitchen work—" she babbled anxiously.
"Servant work?" he asked incredulously.
She flinched. "Are you mad at me?"
"Of course not," he reached out and took her hand. "There's nothing wrong with it, but that is why we have servants, so you don't have to."
She raised her chin in a hint of pride. "I wanted to."
"Were you that bored?" He really should have seen to her entertainment when she first came here, instead of leaving her to her own devices. He didn't think it a bad thing that she had done it, but it was below her status as a goddess and his guest. He hated to think she had nothing better to do than scrub floors.
"I wanted to learn about this realm," she defended herself. "Hecate was willing to teach me."
"And did you learn what you expected?" he asked in amusement.
She slowly relaxed. "I learned so much more." She sighed, a happy sound.
He might not understand her desire to learn housework, but he wouldn't begrudge her something that brought her pleasure.
"Then I'm glad for you." He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. She jumped in surprise.
"You are?"
"Did you think I'd be upset over such a little thing?" he laughed.
"No, but…" she hesitated.
He looked at her expectantly.
"There's more."
"More?" he grinned. His little goddess had been busy! What had she gotten into when he wasn't looking?
"With, um, Lord Thanatos."
"Thanatos," he said cautiously, suppressing a flare of jealousy. She was sitting with him, not his advisor. She had accepted his love, his courting. And, it had not escaped his attention that Thanatos had not granted her the casual use of his name like Hecate had. It had been deliberate, Hades realized. Thanatos was maintaining his distance from the woman his lord loved. He had to admit, the god of death had always been deeply loyal to him.
"What could Thanatos possibly have to teach you?" he asked, not as amused as before.
"Well, I wanted to learn about the management of the gardens and fields…" she began.
He relaxed with a smile. Of course. It was a perfectly natural interest for the goddess of spring. He should have thought of it before.
"…And the mines," she finished.
He froze. He knew what sort of souls were chosen for mine duty, and he was not pleased that Thanatos had exposed her to them. What if one of them had gotten out of hand? Thanatos was well able to defend her, but it remained that she should never have been put in that situation to begin with. His thoughts flashed back to her early exhaustion, and the cut on her chin she insisted was an accident. If someone had laid a hand on her, the flames of Tartarus would look like the Elysian fields before he was done with them.
"Is that all?" he asked evenly.
"Well…" she hesitated, then burst out, "Lord Thanatos had been teaching me to protect myself!"
"What?" he demanded.
"Umm… protect myself?"
"And how was he doing that?" he asked in a dangerous tone.
"Err… Just, showing me, and stuff…"
She wouldn't meet his eyes, and he had a feeling she wasn't telling him the whole truth. He would be having a discussion with Thanatos later.
"So," he said flatly, "Witchcraft and housework from Hecate, management and defense from Thanatos. Is that all?"
She said nothing. He laughed darkly.
"Who else have you been learning things from?"
"Charon," she whispered.
He froze. Waves of disbelief, hurt, betrayal, anger, shame and grief rushed over him. There was only one thing she was likely to learn from Charon. The one thing he hoped she would never learn about him. He was a monster that had tried to learn to be a god. Charon was the one who never let him forgot who he had been. He had no idea what he'd done to make the other man to hate him so much. While Hades was trying to become a better person, Charon was the one that constantly reminded him of the things he'd done. The terrors he'd seen. The pain he'd inflicted. The horrors he'd committed.
Filled with disgust—at himself, not at Persephone—he dropped her hand and stood. He moved to stand behind his desk, facing away from her. He would never harm her, but the desk might give her a small measure of comfort as a barricade. How could she stand to be in the same room as him, given what she knew?
"And what did you learn from Charon?" he asked heavily, his heart writing in agony. To think he almost had her, was almost able to hold her in his arms forever… But if she knew the truth of him from Charon, she wouldn't want anything to do with him.
"About you," she whispered, and he flinched.
"You can go," he said quietly, his soul weeping. "You don't have to stay with me. I won't… I won't hurt you, or keep you trapped." She might expect something evil from him after hearing the very worst of him from Charon. Had she said yes to him as a way to placate him, because she was too afraid to say no? It began to bother him suddenly that she used the familiar form of the ferryman's name. How close had she gotten to Charon? When she left, would it be to go to him?
Hades heard her rise from the couch. His head bowed with the agony of her leaving. Except the door never opened. He jumped when she touched his shoulder.
"Hades?" She tried to turn him. He resisted.
"I want to see you, please," she asked softly. Reluctantly, he faced her. She'd come around the desk to stand in front of him. Her expression was uncertain; his probably mirrored hers.
"How—" he began hoarsely, "How can you stand here after what he told you?" He licked his lips nervously.
"How can I not?" she replied guilelessly, and reached out to put her delicate palm on his face. He winced. Someone so wholesome should not touch a depraved being like him. For a while, as she confessed her love for him, he had forgotten that he wasn't worthy of her. The mention of Charon brought it all back.
"I see you, Hades," she said, catching his wrist when he would have moved away from her. "I love you."
His breath caught in his throat. He couldn't move. His shadow quivered at his feet, unable to believe her. She watched him with knowing eyes, realizing that he didn't understand. She reached for the hem of his shirt.
"No!" he shouted, jerking free from her grip. He jumped across the room in panic, afraid of her seeing him, seeing the horror written in his skin. His scars ached viciously, trying to drown him in blood and pain.
"Hades, please!" she cried, following him slowly. She moved like she would toward a frightened and dangerous animal. Wasn't that what he was? He tried to hold still, but before she came within arm's reach he was rocking back on his heels, leaning away from her. The urge to flee was overwhelming. She couldn't see him like this. She stopped. One more step and he would have bolted again. His breath came in short, terrified gasps. His entire body was shaking.
"Hades," she said in low tone. "Please don't go. I love you. Do you love me?" She edged forward carefully. How could she ask that of him? Of course he loved her. He nodded jerkily. She closed the last bit of distance between them.
"I want to see you," she pleaded, taking the bottom of his shirt in her hands. He grabbed her wrists, stilling her.
"I won't hurt you," she promised, not trying to fight him. It should have been ridiculous, this maiden assuring him, the monster, that she wouldn't harm him. Wasn't he the one that needed to comfort her? But no, he felt very much that the one that was vulnerable here.
"I can't," he rasped.
"Do you trust me?"
He closed his eyes and shuddered. She had trapped him, and now he was going to lose her. If he said yes, she would see his scars and run from him in disgust. If he said no, she would stay, but the lack of trust would eat at her bit by bit until she could stand it no longer. Which was better, to lose her now or later? To sever her affection abruptly, or watch it wither away over time? To never experience her in his arms again, or to hold her, knowing she wasn't really his? There was only one answer he could give.