Well after the last chapter everyone was insisting on an update ASAP, so I decided to go ahead and get the next chapter out a week early. ;) It has a bit of a surprise in it, so buckle up! In similar news, this story is actually divided into two arcs, and we're coming up on the end of Arc 1. Because I'm still working quite a bit on Arc 2, there will be a bit of an update gap between the two, of about a month. Two reasons: one, NaNoWriMo is coming up soon and I can only juggle so many things at once; and two, Arc 2 still has some kinks I need to work out so I'll be working on it during the update gap. Writing two stories at once isn't so bad, but writing and editing two at once gets to be a little much.
Alright, enough business. Thanks to every favorite, follow, and especially review. Sarahwood, liz-04, rosegold1994, and joycelyn. , special thanks to you for your incredible feedback last chapter, it really made my day!
Chapter 16
This time the usual annoying beeping is faded and far away. It's like listening with cotton stuffed in her ears.
Her eyes take a while to open too; they feel sticky and unused, practically glued together. When they finally slit open, that effort alone leaves her tired, oh so tired.
She can barely make out their faces.
The two taller shapes must be her parents – she can vaguely hear them crying and saying something about holding on. The other shape must be Leila. Her friend is crying too, but it's quieter. Are those wet spots dripping on her hand – her hand, that feels millions of miles away – tears?
"Leila," Miranda tries to say. Her lips won't part enough, nor will her voice supply the right volume. She can't even move her tongue to form the name properly.
Desperately, she thinks of Aslan and begs him to help.
Moments later, her tongue unsticks from the roof of her mouth and a whisper-soft sound pushes past her lips.
"Leila," she says again.
The shape that must be Leila leans in, and tears fall on Miranda's cheeks. It's a strange thing, her body feeling light years away.
"Be…careful…" Forcing the words past her lips is sapping the already minimal energy she has, but what else can she do? Leila needs to know, Leila has to know.
"What?" Is that Leila? She sounds so far away…
"You're in d-" Miranda has to take a gasping breath before she can get the last words out. "-danger," she finishes.
"Shhh," comes Leila's voice.
All in a rush, Miranda realizes she does know her demon's name.
Bates.
Maybe Leila will know it too?
"Bates," Miranda whispers hoarsely. "Be careful."
There's nothing else she can do; her breaths are becoming more and more labored with each rasp. She only has enough words left for a goodbye. She can only hope Aslan spoke true.
"I love you," Miranda coughs out. Her chest is as heavy as a semi-truck. "All of you."
That's it; there is no breath left in her to tell them anything else. She can only draw in minimal amounts of air and listen to her heart roaring in her ears as it beats slower and slower. She thought it would hurt more.
Both her hands are encased now. She can't make out who's holding on to her, but she tries to force her lips up into a smile for them.
She wishes she'd had more time.
This is the last thing on her mind as she slips away.
The last thing she knows is cold.
Then…nothing.
Nothing is something.
Miranda slowly realizes that she can feel again, can feel something other than clammy cold. She's dimly aware of lying on something hard, but beyond that she's too tired to try to decipher anything else.
It feels like hours pass as she returns to herself. She comes to understand that she's lying on the floor, and the fuzzy thing under her cheek must be a rug. When her eyes blink open, the rug is the only thing in her vision at first. Footsteps sound, but they could be miles away.
Her foot moves, just the tiniest bit, and bumps against something hard and unyielding. She isn't sure what that is at first, but she realizes it must be the door.
Narnia? She's woken up in Narnia? More importantly, she's woken up at all?
Confusion reigns as Miranda gradually pools her strength to peel herself up off the floor, bit by aching bit. She aches all over; no, she burns all over. Her muscles are on fire from just the smallest movement, and it's exhausting even just getting to a sitting position.
Blinking against a sudden light in her eyes, Miranda scoots away from the door and toward the sofa. It's closer than the bed, and a good deal lower too. Is that light the sun? It's morning?
Yes, it must be morning, even though the last thing she remembers is Aslan telling her there was little time and a vague sense of hurrying down the hall. Now there is only a blazing throbbing everywhere, no matter what she does or how still she tries to be.
Somehow, she makes it to the couch and starts the arduous process of pulling herself up, inch by inch. By the time she's made it, the entire thing has taken its toll and it's all she can do to keep herself awake. For now, perhaps she should stop trying to move so much, no matter how annoying that constant sunlight through the curtains is. Yes, staying still sounds inviting. Breathing steadily is hard enough as it is.
A knock at the door comes not too long after she's started to let her eyes drift closed for just a few minutes of rest. Miranda doesn't bother trying to answer it, not when she is painfully aware that she has no energy even to ask who it is. A second knock follows her inaction, and third after that. Madia's voice drifts through the door, asking if she's awake. Miranda starts to nod before she remembers that Madia can't see her.
The door opens, and on a whim Miranda decides to pretend to sleep, if only to spare herself the effort of forming words and answering questions and anything else she'll be required to do while awake. Letting her eyes slide closed is almost too easy anyway.
Madia comes inside slowly from what Miranda can hear. Perhaps she should stop pretending, but lying here on the couch is nice enough and she doesn't want to have to get up.
"Miss?"
Miranda resists the urge to groan in frustration and opts to stop being difficult if only to make Madia's life a little bit easier.
"Everyone is assembling in the city courtyard," Madia says the moment Miranda's pried her eyes open. "King Caspian asked after you specifically."
Miranda doesn't trust her voice to hold steady, so she just nods and starts to drag herself up off the sofa that's feeling increasingly comfortable the longer she reclines on it. To her relief and slight embarrassment, Madia notices her struggle and hurries over to help her.
"Are you feeling well, miss?"
Miranda has to speak now, so she swallows, clears her throat, and hopes that she won't sound half as awful as she feels.
"Just tired," she croaks.
Madia seems dubious that tired is all she is, but Miranda grimaces her way to a wry smile and Madia leaves it alone.
Getting ready for this meeting, what exactly it is Miranda doesn't know, takes longer than she'd have liked, but Madia is patient and doesn't ask any questions when Miranda asks her not to. Miranda makes sure to thank her for the help, and especially for her discretion.
"Of course, miss," Madia replies with a gracious smile.
Miranda thanks her once more for good measure before making her way out of the room and toward the courtyard. To her surprise, Suncloud is there to greet her. In point of fact, she opens the door just as he's raising his hand to knock.
"Suncloud?" she asks. "I thought you'd be a while yet."
He shakes his head and says, "We arrived yesterday at dusk."
Miranda instantly feels guilty for holing up in her room all day; she should have been there to say her hellos.
"I was surprised not to see you at the celebration last night," Suncloud continues as he moves away down the hall. He must be on his way to the meeting too.
"I wasn't feeling well," Miranda answers. It's not really false, but it still leaves a queasy feeling in her stomach. She doesn't like telling half-truths to her friend.
Suncloud believes her in spite of her surely obvious discomfort and even asks if she's feeling better today.
"I'm getting there," is how she phrases it. She thinks he's guessed by now that it's not something she wants to discuss, and he gracefully leaves it lie.
They arrive at the city courtyard after far too much walking. Her legs are aching more than the rest of her when they finally arrive, and she can only hope that Suncloud hasn't noticed how very stiff she is. Were anything about the situation funny, Miranda might have cracked some wise comment about walking like a penguin, but she most definitely does not want to draw attention to her strange gait, so refraining is easy.
"What's all this about?" she asks Suncloud to distract him. He is starting to look the tiniest bit worried, after all.
"King Caspian has called everyone here to address all of us regarding the Telmarines and their place in Narnia. Many of them are a bit disgruntled, you know."
She can well imagine, and she tells him so.
"They did just lose a war, after all," she says. "What do they think of Caspian?"
Suncloud shrugs almost imperceptibly.
"They are not so unhappy as they could be, but they are not entirely pleased either. Many are relieved Miraz no longer has the throne, but I think they are concerned about being allowed to stay in Narnia." As Suncloud says this, his voice darkens, particularly on the last sentence. Miranda lays a hand on his arm to say she's sorry. They both know that his brother died at the hands of Telmarines.
"Caspian will have some solution to this. Aslan won't let anything unfair happen," Miranda says in the hope that it will bring at least some reassurance to her friend. It works a bit, but she can see Suncoud is still troubled.
He does put on a brave face though, she'll give him that. She's also keenly aware that this subject is likely one he would rather not discuss at length, so she changes the subject to ask after his journey. It went well enough, by his word.
Their conversation is brought to a halt when Caspian's voice wafts above the noisy chatters of the crowd calling everyone's attention. Everyone quiets rather quickly, to Miranda's surprise.
"Narnia belongs to the Narnians just as it does to Man," Caspian begins, his stance firm and strong as he addresses his knew subjects atop the three or so stairs. He continues, "Any Telmarines who want to stay and live in peace are welcome to. But for any of you who wish, Aslan will return you to the home of our forefathers."
Miranda instantly understands what Caspian and Aslan and come up with. Anyone displeased with the outcome of the war can leave and start again, and so the peace will hopefully come a little easier.
"It's been generations since we left Telmar," someone in the crowd chimes up with doubt in his voice – doubt Aslan quickly puts to rest.
"We're not referring to Telmar," Aslan says. "Your ancestors were sea-faring brigands – pirates run aground on an island. There they found a cave, a rare chasm that brought them here from their world. The same world as our Kings and Queens."
Miranda blinks a few times to take in this new information. The Telmarines were from Earth? That would explain a few things about them, but then Miranda has to wonder just how common it is to stumble into Narnia. There were the Pevensies, and herself, and now the Telmarines as well, in numbers far greater than four.
As she looks around the crowd, everyone else is having a similar reaction: shock, curiosity, slight confusion. Even the Pevensies look surprised.
"It is to that island I can return you," Aslan continues. "It is a good place for any who wish to make a new start."
Miranda is fully expecting a long and tenuous silence to follow, but to her and everyone else's surprise, a voice wafts up from the crowd almost immediately.
"I will go," it says. "I will accept the offer."
The crowd parts and a man walks forward to the Lion. A middle-aged woman carrying a baby and another older man follow him.
"So will we," says the woman.
Caspian bows slightly to the three, and Miranda wonders if he knows them.
"Prunaprismia," Suncloud whispers to her. "Caspian's aunt. She is a widow now that Miraz is dead."
"Because you have spoken first, your future in that world shall be good," Aslan tells the trio. He breathes on them (Miranda remembers how warm and wild it feels to be on the receiving end, and the memory sends goosebumps up her arms) and then the most unbelievable thing happens: the giant twisted tree Mirands hadn't even noticed before now begins to unwind, and continues to do so until the trunks are split and a door-like opening is formed.
Miranda, for her part, can only stare on in silent wonder, but the crowd reacts less quietly. A plethora of gasps rise up, and a few even shriek in surprise and fear. But for the three who have chosen to leave Narnia, this seems only mildly troubling, and they go forward when the tree stills with only one long look at Aslan as they go.
They walk forward slowly but steadily, even up to the last moment they're at the tree. And then they disappear, almost as if they never were. Naturally, this prompts shocked yells and accusations from the predominantly Telmarine onlookers.
"How do we not know he is leading us to our death?" shouts one particularly rattled citizen.
Miranda can't quite hear if there's a reply to that or not, but Aslan looks down and smiles, and she can only guess that one of the Talking Mice is there. But then Aslan turns and looks straight at the Pevensies, and Miranda at once notices the heavy lines in the eldest siblings' faces.
"We'll go," King Peter says, stepping forward as the words leave his mouth. His face looks a little pinched, like he's sad and trying hard not to show it.
Apparently, this is not something all of them have discussed; Edmund looks confused and surprised, and says something to that effect to his older brother. Peter replies with determined sort of sadness; the only part of it Miranda can make out is, "Time's up."
Then Peter is taking his sword from around his waist and passing it to Caspian, the lion on the handle clearly visible for all to see. He's passing on his authority, from what Miranda can guess.
"I will look after it until you return," the new king says as he takes the sword with a steady hand.
"I'm afraid that's just it," comes Susan's sad voice. "We're not coming back."
Miranda understands then that her experience of Narnia is not quite the same; Aslan has not told her that her time in Narnia must come to a close, but it seems that for the Pevensies, that is the nature of their time here. It must come to an end. Miranda instantly feels sorry and wishes there was something she could do. They were good friends to her, after all.
Lucy is having trouble with this, Miranda can tell. Her child's brow is knitted in confusion and she turns to Aslan with a "Why?" even after her eldest brother has spoken to her.
"Did they do something wrong?" she adds on as she seeks some answer from the beloved Lion.
"Quite the opposite, dear one," comes Aslan's comforting rumble. The rest of his words are too quiet for Miranda to understand, but what she does know is that he's reassuring the young queen.
Peter goes to Lucy and seems to be comforting her. She looks a little more at ease afterwards, yet still not quite comfortable with the situation. But Peter leads her toward the Narnians standing by Aslan to say their goodbyes, and Lucy goes along. The four of them move down the line shaking hands and curtsying (respectively, of course) until there's no one left to say goodbye to. Well, at least, Miranda thought so. Lucy suddenly taps Susan on the arm and looks around the crowd urgently.
When the two queens spot Miranda and start to come down the steps toward her, Miranda feels her entire face flush red in a pleased sort of embarrassment. She ignores the pains in her body and walks toward them as swiftly as she is able. Luckily, Suncloud found her a nice spot toward the side, and the distance isn't so bad as it could be.
Miranda is caught in a rather tight hug as soon as Lucy comes within arm's reach.
"Take care," Lucy tells Miranda as she clings tightly.
Miranda can't help but smile at the show of affection, nor can she keep from returning the kind gesture.
"And you as well," she answers.
"Perhaps I'll see you again," Lucy says with a slightly pained smile as she steps back. "Aslan did say Edmund and I might return."
"I'll look forward to it."
After Lucy, Susan gives Miranda a hug too, though hers is more gentle than her sister's.
"I wish you all the best," Miranda says to the older queen. "Thank you both for everything."
"We'll miss you," Susan says, with a deeper sort of sadness that Miranda can relate to well.
"And I'll miss you."
With that, there's little else to say, and the two queens go back to rejoin their brothers. Susan stops on the way and speaks to Caspian quietly, but Miranda's too preoccupied with making her way back into the crowd to pay much notice. When she does look back, she notices the two clasping hands and smiling sadly. This gesture is followed by a hug that lasts a while, and Miranda for a moment isn't sure what to think. Then the moments ends and Susan steps away with watery eyes.
Mere seconds later, the four siblings have stepped through the door and disappeared as completely as the first three. This time, the crowd reacts a little less loudly, though some still shout their surprise. To Miranda's surprise, once the initial commotion dies down, quite a few Telmarines go through the door. Entire families make the leap, and Aslan looks pleased as more and more come forward to start a new life.
The whole process takes a good part of the morning, and very quickly Miranda finds that her strength just isn't where it needs to be. By the end of the first hour, she's fighting hard (and unsuccessfully) to keep from swaying on her feet. She does notice, however, that one of the many to go through the door is the soldier who confronted her only a day or two ago, and seeing him disappear gives her a brief burst of strength from the relief alone.
But by the time the exodus is winding down, Miranda is swaying and praying that her knees don't buckle under her. Suncloud notices and asks what's the matter, but she can only spout something about not feeling her best and just needing to take a seat in the shade for a moment. She waves off his worry as best she can as she makes her way to the edge of the courtyard and takes a seat on the surrounding wall, but he persists until she has to tell him that she'll be fine in a minute unless he keeps pestering her. She says it lightly, but it has the desired effect – he leaves her be.
She watches the rest of the proceedings from her seat and does her best not to fall over. Even sitting up straight is taking far more energy than it should. Distantly, Miranda wonders if she could get away with sleeping for the rest of the day and on through the night if she just tells Suncloud that she really isn't feeling good and should sleep it off.
She can only hope he doesn't ask questions. Not only is she acutely without the answers, but she's exhausted enough and answering a barrage of inquiries would not help matters. She's nowhere near ready for that; she can barely even grasp how she's here right now.
Aslan.
Miranda at once knows who she needs to talk to, and she waits patiently until everyone who is going to leave Narnia has left and those who remain are trickling out of the courtyard back to their daily business. Suncloud checks on her again, but she manages to put on a smile and tell him that she's feeling alright now and she'll be around to bug him later, perhaps tomorrow. At least, Miranda hopes she will, but maybe Aslan can help with that.
She has more than a few questions for him, anyway. And when everyone has left and only Caspian and Aslan and a few Narnians remain, she stands and hopes that Caspian will go back to the castle with the Narnians soon.
Aslan notices her waiting and beckons her over silently with his eyes. Miranda goes willingly and tries to keep from thinking any extreme thoughts, but it's difficult. Without the meeting to distract her, all she wants to think about is how on earth she's still here if she already died back home.
"Mira?" Caspian asks quietly as she comes up. She sees the question in his eyes after she hears it, and for a moment she softens. He must have noticed how rigidly she's walking.
"It looks like this went well," she replies quickly, hoping he'll respect the change of subject.
"Yes," he says. "I think it did." He's still questioning, but he doesn't outright say anything.
"Congratulations." Miranda means that, and tries to really make sure he knows she does. "Looks like you'll be a good king."
"We'll see." He's hopeful, and it's good to see.
A moment of awkward silence descends, but before Miranda can get too uncomfortable, Caspian breaks it in possibly the worst way.
"We missed you last night," he says, the concern mingling with the questioning plain as day.
"I fell asleep." That answer is the truest he will get before she can figure all this out with Aslan.
And here is the Great Lion now, looking at her as if he knows exactly what she's seeking him out to ask.
"May I speak with you?" Miranda asks instantly.
Aslan agrees and Caspian heads back toward the castle with the remaining Narnians, just as she had hoped. Maybe they understand this conversation is important and needs to be private.
As soon as they're out of sight and earshot, Miranda stops trying to keep her eyes from welling up.
"Did you know, Aslan?" Miranda blurts out as her body trembles a little from holding itself up. "You did know, didn't you?"
The Lion doesn't reply at first, and Miranda finds that she just keeps going.
"I died, Aslan, I died and now I wake up here like it was all a dream. What happened? I know you know what happened, you must!" By the end of this, Miranda is crying openly and has to accept the Lion's help in standing upright.
"Miranda-" he begins to say.
She can't help her impatience; she interrupts.
"Tell me!" she cries, sinking to her knees and letting the weight of it all pull her down towards the earth.
"Peace, Miranda!" Aslan's growl cuts right through her swirling thoughts and stills her at once.
She feels a bit ashamed, and that feeling only grows as the Lion looks at her in silence. Maybe she shouldn't have raised her voice like that.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, looking down at the ground rather than meeting the Lion's eyes.
A warm rush of calming air sweeps over her, and she looks up in surprise. Aslan offers her help then, and with the Lion at her side she makes her way back to the wall and sits once more.
"Why?" she asks him, the pained realization of what waking up must mean starting to rush about again.
"Your second chance must not be taken from you so simply."
Miranda feels the white-hot burn of anger rushing through her, but she tries to stifle it in the interest of not incurring the Lion's scolding again. Sadness quickly follows the anger, and that drains her once more.
"I don't understand," Miranda whispers brokenly, at last meeting Aslan's gaze with tears in her eyes. One by one, they spill over onto her cheeks and drip off her chin and onto her hands.
Aslan offers her nothing but silent comfort; no words pass between them, but Miranda gets the tiniest sense that he's not angry with her now. She hesitates, but the Lion even allows her to cry into his mane, a privilege she's sure not so many can claim to have experienced. That alone helps her calm down.
"Am I never to see them again?" she hiccups in between sobs. She was prepared to die, but she was not prepared to go on in Narnia, having to miss her mom and her dad and her best friend in all the worlds she knows, wishing she could have helped them somehow day in and day out.
"Peace, Miranda." This time, there is only gentleness.
"I'm so tired, Aslan," she tells him as her crying winds down.
"You will recover in time, but for now you are weary. Rest."
She almost asks the Lion what he means, but when her head sags against his side again and she doesn't have enough determination to pick it up again, she thinks she might understand.
Aslan lets her stay there until the tears on her face have dried and she thinks her nose might not be so red. When she wonders aloud if she should return to the castle, Aslan breathes on her and sends her on her way with a reassuring rumble.
When she looks back, he's disappearing into the door the tree made. After he's passed through, the tree twists itself back together again and all is quiet.
Miranda finds that she has just enough vitality left to get to the castle and her room, but the moment she sees the bed she sinks down without even bothering to get out of her clothes and into her nightclothes. Within moments, she's lost to the world of dreams.
Anyone surprised how that one played out? ;)
sarahwood - Miranda definitely would feel some relief, but also apprehension I think. She's not used to telling people about it, and now that she's opened up it can cause a whole other host of insecurities. Lovely kettle of fish, isn't it? Though Caspian might be able to help...
I'm glad the hospital scene hit home! I thought it was important that we see a little more of the little devil himself though Miranda's eyes. Leila will certainly hold some significance later, especially at the end of Arc 1!
Review!