A/N: OMG HAI GUYS IT'S JEN! Haha, trying to get this out before Claire gets home. She's on the bus XD So I had an awesome Christmas, I hope you guys did too. Thanks so much for the abundance of reviews, you're all terrific and I love you. I wrote this and many others over the duration of my trip, so excuse...lots. :D

Rating: G/K (offensive language)

"Kurt! Kuurrrttt! Oh my god KURT!" Blaine whined, surprised at the sounds he was making.

A calico feline appeared at the top of the stairs in a panic.

"Blaine!" It hissed.

"Kurt! You're a kitty! And I HAVE A TAIL!"

It wasn't easy, being on four legs, and Kurt ungracefully fell down the stairs, hissing and flailing.

Blaine snorted with laughter, rolling onto his back.

"Blaine!" Kurt hissed, swiping at him slightly. "We're…we're ANIMALS. This isn't the time to play!"

Blaine whined gently and Kurt rolled his eyes, miaowing at him.

"Oh my god!" Blaine's ears perked up, his whole body going rigid. "Everything smells SO good!" he barked happily, turning in a small circle.

"Blaine!" Kurt hissed and Blaine's ears went down, his tail dropping between his legs.

"I need to find my dad. Maybe he knows what's going on…"

Blaine barked again and started upstairs.

"He's at work, genius." Kurt called and Blaine bounded back down.

"Want me to carry you? I can carry you!"

"No." Kurt said softly, and suddenly Blaine was on top of him, licking him relentlessly. "Blaine!"

"It's so much easier to love you!"

"Blaine!" Kurt hissed in protest.

Despite his height as a human, he was quite small as a cat. Blaine was a bit of a mutt – a mixture of at least a few dog breeds – but was the size of a large puppy.

Still, he was larger than Kurt.

"I know you love me." Kurt swiped at him gently and he backed off. "But I'd really like to know why I'm a cat!"

Blaine just laughed. "I always wondered what it would be like to have a tail!"

Kurt gave him an exasperated sigh and this time forcefully swiped him across the nose. Blaine yelped, backing away.

"Stop getting distracted!" Kurt scolded and Blaine waited patiently as Kurt paced.

"I think I can get to my dad's work…come on…"

Blaine frowned. "What do you mean think?"

"Everything is weird…ya know, big, and bright!" Kurt said softly and Blaine nodded, his tongue lolling out.

"Come on! Let's Go!"

Kurt let himself laugh at his enthusiastic boyfriend and started towards the cat-flap. (Had that always been there?) Blaine pranced happily after him, toppling over and getting stuck half-way.

"Help?" he whimpered.

Kurt turned, spotting him with a sigh.

"What are we going to do with you?" he purred, slinking up to him and resting his paws either side of Blaine's shoulders.

"This might hurt…" he apologised quickly, digging his claws into Blaine and pulling.

Blaine let out a pained squeal, jerking his way out of the cat flap.

"Thanks…" Blaine mumbled, licking his shoulder pitifully.

Kurt nuzzled him briefly before stalking to the front of the house, eyes wide. Blaine bounded up beside him.

"What are we looking for?"

"People." Kurt informed him, sneaking out a few centimetres before pouncing towards a tree.

Blaine rolled his eyes and followed him, happily sniffing at the ground.

"Okay…" Kurt said softly, looking around. "This way!"

Blaine was silent, his nose to the ground as he followed Kurt down the street.

"God you smell good." Blaine breathed in heavily. "It's like…I can't avoid your smell. It's so good."

Kurt sighed. Blaine obviously didn't see the problem with this whole situation – they were freakin' animals for gods' sake.

Kurt continued on – they weren't far now.

Blaine's sudden squeak of alarm made him pause and whip around. His throat dropped into his stomach as he saw what had happened.

A comical looking dog-catcher had trapped Blaine with a net! Kurt rushed forward, claws extended and pounced – but was caught instead by a second catcher.

"Animals are generally smarter than these two…" said the first, scooping Blaine up.

"Kurt!" Blaine yowled.

"Blaine, it's okay!" Kurt whispered, screeching as he was thrown into the back.

Blaine joined him a second later, snuffling and wheezing and shaking.

"Kurt!" Blaine whined. "I'm scared."

Kurt licked the top of his head gently and he whined.

"What's going to happen to us?"

Kurt sucked in a deep breath, lying down next to him.

"I don't know."

^.^

The pound had never looked so scary.

They arrived at the dark building, and after a bit of struggling, ended up in separate carriers. The two men took them inside, but both boys were silent. Blaine whimpered occasionally, calling for Kurt, but the feline was silent – watching and waiting.

"Scan them for microchips." Said one, and they were placed on a large table.

A sigh. "Yeah, sure…whatever, your highness." Said a very bored sounding woman. A very familiar, bored sounding woman.

Kurt's carrier opened and a hand reached inside, plucking Kurt from where he had scrunched himself into the corner.

"SANTANA!" Kurt miaowed when she came into view.

"Santana! What! Where? Is she a kitty too?" Blaine panicked

"Hey kitty-kitty." She cooed, pulling him close to her face and nuzzling him.

"Oh god!" Kurt tried his hardest not to hiss at her, struggling ferociously.

"What?"

"She's…cuddling me!"

"Hey!" Blaine growled. "That's my job!"

Finally, Santana let him go and placed him on a metal desk, sighing.

"Let's see who you belong to…" she muttered, stroking him gently.

Kurt purred involuntarily at her touch and she laughed.

"Hold still kitty."

Kurt did as he was told; jumping slightly when the desk gave a shudder.

"You're okay…" she soothed.

"What's happening?" Blaine was panicking again.

"Hush Blaine." Kurt miaowed, and Blaine snuffed impatiently.

"You guys friends, hmm?"

Blaine barked happily and Santana laughed.

"Okay kitty." Santana lifted him off the table and clicked a few things on the computer, letting Kurt roam.

She opened Blaine's carrier, and he dashed out, leaping up on her and licking at her face.

"Santana! Santana! It's me, Blaine! Santana!"

"Blaine!" Kurt hissed. "She can't understand you…"

Santana laughed and pushed him off.

"But she tastes so good!"

Kurt scowled and perched on top of the machine attached to the table.

"Good kitty." Santana praised, lifting Blaine onto the table. "Good puppy."

Blaine barked and Kurt shook his head. "You're enjoying this far too much."

The table shook and Blaine whimpered.

"Calm down." Kurt miaowed and the puppy lay down, his tail twitching uncertainly.

When the machine stopped, Santana continued to the computer.

"Oh…you guys are so lucky." Santana grinned. "You're both owned by…oh…"

Both Kurt and Blaine were watching her expectantly, and she seemed a little surprised at their attention.

"I can't believe I didn't recognise you…" she said softly, scratching Blaine's back.

"Did you get a chip?" one of the catchers had stepped in.

She nodded absently.

"Well?"

She sighed. "They're Burt and Carole Hummel's pets. Kurt and Blaine."

"Why the off-in-the-distance face?"

Santana sighed. "Burt and Carole got them and named them after the real Kurt and Blaine were killed."

"Killed?"

Santana nodded sadly. "Two years ago – prom night. Dickhead called Azimo was drunk and didn't think two blokes should've danced together."

Kurt could only stare at Blaine in horror.

Blaine whined, and Kurt lunged for him-

^.^

Kurt jerked awake, a whimper escaping his throat.

"Babe?" Blaine mumbled sleepily.

Blaine was human. Alive and human.

Kurt sighed in relief. It was just a dream.

"I'm okay." Kurt assured him.

Blaine nodded and yawn, before leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Mm. You taste good."

A/N: Anyway...I'm HOME! Omg.