Chapter Notes

Thanks to everyone who left comments on the last chapter. I truly appreciate your input and support of my story and writing.

A state of numb had set in by the next day. Logan woke Veronica the night before, encouraging her to eat the Mama Leone's feast he had ordered, but she only picked at it. Having to fast before her surgery meant that she couldn't eat breakfast, so instead, that morning, they both lay on the couch together, silently watching 'Friday Night Lights' on Netflix. Logan didn't know what was worse; the constant crying from the both of them, or the silence of two people who had cried themselves out. The journey to the hospital felt like some bad dreamlike haze. There were the murmured "I'm sorry" by people at every juncture, as clerks and nurses read the reason Veronica was in the hospital. Then there was the orderly who looked like she recognized Logan, but fell short of asking for confirmation of his psudo-celebrity status. And finally there was the priest who came down to offer "parochial care" who was unanimously dismissed by the non-religious couple, after it took them a minute to realize what "parochial care" meany.

When Veronica was changed and waiting in the private room for them to take her down to surgery did she finally speak to her husband. She sat in bed in her hospital gown, tucked under the covers for warmth. Logan sat across the small room from her in a big vinyl easy chair, that he was sure was designed by the Marquis de Sade. He shifted around uncomfortably, making the occasional squeaking noise against the fabric.

"Do you think they did it?" She said, her attention at the clock.

Logan was confused. "Who did what?" Raising one eyebrow and making a face.

Veronica smiled a bit at her husband's expression. "Look at the time. The 'plan' should have been executed by now."

Logan glanced at the clock. It was 1:30. The plan to descend on the Kane residence was happening at 1:00. 20 minutes in and out; which meant they should be gone by this time, if it worked. He grinned at Veronica. "Keith is in charge; of course they did it." Veronica made eye contact with Logan for the first time since they arrived. The pain radiated from her beautiful blue eyes. He stood and walked over to her, sitting on the bed. She turned away, unable to meet his eyes anymore. Tentatively, he reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Everything will be fine." He whispered.

"I know." She responded, not looking at him. She was weak. The emotional toll and the lack of food was getting to her and she was taking on a ghostly pale complexion. "I just want it all to be over."

Logan continued to stroke her head. "It will be, soon."

She was too tired to cry, but Logan could hear the tears in her voice. "I just want to stop thinking about this. Go back to our lives and be together."

"It will get better. After this is over, we'll go home and hide from the world for a while. Regroup. Heal. We'll move on, together." Logan leaned over and kissed her head. When he pulled back, she turned to look at him again.

She reached up and put her hand on his face. "I can't stand to see the pain in your eyes. I keep thinking I put it there." She murmured.

Logan's chest felt heavy. "None of this is your fault. My pain is not because of you; my pain is for you. Seeing you like this kills me, because I love you so much. Please, promise me, you will stop blaming yourself for this. Because the more you beat yourself up, the harder it is on both of us."

Veronica reached her head slowly and kissed him on the lips. "I love you."

He took her hand in his and held on for dear life. "I love you too."

There was a gentle knock before the nurse and orderly stepped into the room. They both smiled kindly at the couple holding hands. "Ms. Mars. It's time to take you down for surgery."

Veronica squeezed Logan's hand before letting go. He stood from the bed and turned to the nurse. "How long will she be...gone?" He asked, still having problems verbalizing what was about to happen.

The nurse came closer as the orderly set about putting up the gurney bed rails and unlocking the wheels. "A few hours. After surgery, we will keep her in the recovery ward to monitor her as she comes out of sedation. You are welcome to stay in here for that time, or leave and come back." The nurse put her hand on Logan's shoulder and guided him out of the way of the orderly.

He looked at Veronica. She seemed calm, almost serene, as if she finally accepted the inevitability of what was about to happen. "I'll be here when you wake up."

She nodded and closed her eyes, unable to look at him as she was wheeled out of the room. When the gurney was gone, the nurse gave him another sympathetic look before closing the door.

The void left in the room threatened to swallow Logan whole. The terrible puke green walls with the big pink stripe through it; the buttons and knobs, florescent lighting and bad furniture; he needed to leave. Walking to the thin window, he pulled back the pink black-out curtain and looked outside to the street. It took him a few moments of thinking and watching before he saw exactly where he needed to go. Grabbing his leather jacket off the chair, he escaped into the hallway.

"Bad Medicine" was officially the worst bar name Logan had ever heard of, but he wasn't there for the name. He was there for a drink. And the proximity - being located directly across from the hospital – was exactly what the doctor ordered. Walking through the doors, he found the dimly lit room comforting. A long oak bar, lined with stools, filled one wall of the narrow room. On the other side, two-seat booths filled the rest of the space. His eyes adjusting to the darkness, he slid himself into one of the booths, facing the back, in the hopes if some privacy. From the figures he could make out, there were only a few patrons this sunny Friday afternoon.

"What's your poison?" A middle aged woman with a bar apron walked up to him from behind, causing him to jump and lose his cool.

"Uhhhhh...Jack Daniels. No ice." He stammered like he was a teenager sneaking into the bar.

The waitress stood next the table, looking down at him. Her face was pale, showing an abundance of laugh lines, even though she didn't look like she ever smiled. Her dark black hair had silver streaks and she wore it in a partial beehive. "You got someone in there you waiting for?" She said and jerked her head towards the hospital. Logan nodded obediently. She gave a grunt. "Wife in labour?"

He looked up at her with painful eyes. "No. Miscarriage."

Her features softened. "I'm sorry to hear. First one's on me, honey." She said and walked to the bar. Logan watched as she told the bartender his order. The young man looked over her shoulder at Logan and gave his head a shake. He quickly poured the highball and handed it back to the woman, who turned and headed back towards him. She placed the drink on the table and patted him on the shoulder. "Just signal me when you want another." She then went back to making her rounds with the other customers.

Logan stared at the drink. He closed his eyes and thought back to a time when this was all that mattered; dulling the pain of life. A time when there was no Veronica...at least not in his life anymore. A time before the Navy...the career that changed him from a boy to a man. A time when he lived out of a hotel...before he knew how to make a home. He thought about everything he didn't have to lose back then, and what he could lose now. He spent most of his childhood living in fear. He fought the last decade to train himself not to fear his own existence. But today, he was filled with that same fear; that his very existence was on the line. His marriage to Veronica, their home, their business, their lives were now so interconnected that he feared if he lost her that his entire reason for living would fall out from under him.

"I've prayed over a drink or two before." Came a familiar game-show-host voice through his head. Logan opened his eyes and blinked in the sunlight. Cliff was standing over him, his own drink in his hand. "Mind if I join you? Drinking alone is for losers."

Logan couldn't help but chuckle. "Have a seat. If we talk about serving some papers for you, then you can write off your drinks as a meeting."

Cliff laughed. "Ever the shrewd business man. I will, however, mention that breaking your sobriety is a pretty stupid personal move."

Logan looked down at his drink. "Not actually going to drink it. Just needed a reminder."

Cliff brought his drink up to his mouth and finished off his cheap scotch. "Of what?"

Logan smiled. "Of a time between Veronica; after we broke up in college. No matter how bad things are now, they are still not as bad as then. At least now, I have her, and we can get through it together."

Cliff scowled. "And how bad are things?"

"Bad. Veronica had a miscarriage. We lost the baby." Logan replied, leaning back into the booth. "She's in surgery at the hospital across the street right now."

Cliff looked deflated. "Oh shit. I'm sorry." The lawyer put his hands up to his eyes and rubbed them to keep the tears at bay. "You know, I've known Veronica almost all her life. If I had a daughter..." He said, trying to find the words.

Logan interjected. "I know you care about her. She's in a really bad place right now. And I don't know if I know how to help her. Or us."

The older man reached over and took the glass of Jack Daniels. In one long shot, he downed the drink. Logan wasn't sure if he should laugh or applaud or punch him. "That's for you both." Cliff croaked out. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "You getting drunk or showing up with alcohol on your breath won't help either of you right now."

"I wasn't actually going to drink it!" Logan growled at him.

"Sure you weren't, Kid." Said Cliff and he gave a small hiccup. He waived to the waitress. When he had her attention, he yelled across the bar. "A Pepsi for my friend and another scotch for me, Rosie!" The waitress nodded and turned to the bartender to wait for her order.

"What are you doing, Cliff?" Logan asked, getting exasperated.

"I am getting drunk. And sitting with you until you go back to the hospital, sober. Got it?" Cliff pointed his finger at him, attempting to be menacing.

Logan smiled as Rosie planted a pint glass of Pepsi with a pink straw sticking out of it in front of him and another highball in front of Cliff. "Got it."

Veronica felt like she was trapped in a sleeping bag. She opened her eyes slightly, trying to adjust to the brightness. She was wrapped tightly in blankets in her hospital bed. It seemed that there was a curtain around part of her and she was facing a bright window. Recovery. She was in recovery after her D and C, she remembered and closed her eyes. She felt herself shivering. Her breathing was slow and shallow. Mentally, she took stock. She realized they must be treating her for the effects of the anaesthetic and what felt like shock. Veronica heard a man's voice talking to a woman. It sounded familiar.

Her mouth was so dry it was like it was filled with gauze, but she managed to whisper. "Lo-gan?"

"Don't worry, Veronica. I'm here." Said the voice. She quickly comprehended, it wasn't Logan. Veronica opened her eyes enough to see Duncan siting next to her. She closed her eyes again and she turned her head away. Veronica's body let out another spasm when she felt him reach over and touch her head, which was still covered in a surgical cap to contain her hair. "I was so sorry to hear what happened to you and your baby. I was in a board meeting and I rushed over to see if I could help you. Kane Software donates heavily to the hospital and I know you will have the best care here." He began.

She forced herself to turn her head back and open her eyes at him. "Lo-gan." She managed again.

Duncan shook his head in mock sadness. "No. I'm afraid Logan is across the street at the bar. He's not here to comfort you. But I am." He put his face down near hers. "If you were carrying my child, there would be no way I would abandon you like this."

Rage built in Veronica that cut through everything. How dare he attack her husband. How dare he mention her child. How dare he show up at her bedside. She wished she could tell him all of this and more. But her throat was on fire and her body was betraying her so instead, she was only able to choke out one phrase.

"Fuck off." She gasped with a much force as she could, her eyes shooting daggers from behind heavy lids.

Duncan looked startled. Pushing himself away from her bed, he stood and looked down at her. "Logan really has changed you." He said. "Don't worry, though. When this is over, I'll help you remember who you really are."

Veronica forced her eyes to stay open and watch him walk around the curtain, the sound of his dress shoes clicking on the linoleum flooring. When Veronica was sure he was gone, she let herself succumb to her sleep once more.

When Veronica opened her eyes again, she was staring at the familiar green and pink walls of her private room. Logan was sitting in the chair, staring at her. As she opened her mouth to speak, he jumped up and ran over to her bedside. Grabbing a cup of ice water with a straw, he shoved it in front of her face.

"The nurse said you may have trouble speaking from the dry mouth when you got up. Drink this." He ordered.

She felt like he was offering her champagne and she eagerly took the straw between her lips and drank until she felt the life flow back into her. She released the straw when she was done and smiled. "You make a good nurse." She whispered.

He smiled back. "Get used to it. I'm going to be taking care of you the next few days, whether you like it or not."

She gestured for him to come closer. When he got eye-to-eye, she sniffed the air. He frowned and pulled back. "What are you doing?"

She let out a sigh. No smell of alcohol. "Were you in a bar?" She queried softly.

Logan looked at her with horror. "Yes. But I didn't have a drink. Well, I had a drink, but I didn't drink it. It's a long story..." He rambled. "How did you know I was in a bar?"

Veronica reached out and tried to take his hand. Realizing she was still hooked up to an I.V., she struggled for a moment until he took hers in his. "Duncan told me you were in a bar." She answered.

Logan's jaw tightened. "What?"

Veronica shifted so she could face him better, making eye contact. "Someone from the hospital must have tipped him off about the D and C and he was waiting for me in recovery."

If he wasn't in a hospital, Logan would have destroyed every inch of that room. "What. The. Fuck." He spat.

"He wanted to see if I needed anything." She said and rolled her eyes.

Logan started moving from side to side, full of nervous energy. "What did you say?"

Veronica smiled. "I told him to fuck off."

A huge grin crossed Logan's face. He leaned over and kissed Veronica's hair. "That's my girl!" He said and sat on the edge of the bed, almost getting caught in her IV tube as he did. When he was comfortable, he kissed her hand, over the tape and needle gently. "How are you?"

She shrugged and made a face. "High as a kite. Hungry." She paused, taking inventory of her body. "Bloted. Crampy. Violated." She continued. "Traumatized beyond measure. And I just want to go home."

Logan frowned. Her pupils were dilated and she couldn't focus. Whatever they gave her had her slightly loopy and it was noticeable. "We'll go home as soon as you are able. It's around 5 pm. You were in recovery for a while."

Logan heard the door open behind him. The nurse entered with a clip board and walked over to the other side of the bed. "Ms. Mars. Good to see you up finally. Those fluids must have helped." She flipped open her chart. "You were showing signs of shock and dehydration so the doctor ordered an I.V. and we kept you in recovery longer than normal to monitor you. How are you feeling now?"

Veronica frowned. "Stoned. Hungry. Crampy." She summarized.

The nurse nodded along with her statements. "It's good to hear you are hungry. Often the anaesthetic will make people nauseous. You may feel light headed for a while from the anaesthetic as well. As for the cramping, that's going to last a few days. Advil or Tylenol should help take the edge off at home." She pulled a package in a large manila envelope off her clipboard and handed it to Logan. "This is everything you need to know about caring for Ms. Mars, once you are home. On Monday, you need to make an appointment with your OB/GYN for six-week from now to follow-up. No intercourse until she clears you at that time." She gave Logan a glare and turned to Veronica. "You are to take things easy for the next few days, Ms. Mars. Sleep. Eat. Regroup. If you feel depressed or anxious, there is some information on counselling for both of you." She looked between the couple. "Do you have any questions?"

Veronica and Logan looked at each other then back to the nurse and shook their heads in unison. She smiled again at them. "I will be back in a little while to take out your I.V. then when you are feeling up to it, you can go home."

Veronica suddenly spoke. "When I woke up in recovery, there was a man next to my bed...an old acquaintance who heard I was in the hospital. Why was he there and not my husband?" She asked through her foggy brain.

The nurse looked horrified. She clutched her clipboard to her chest and shook her head emphatically. "Oh no, Ms. Mars! I don't know what to say. It is not our policy to have any visitors in the recovery room. I will have to speak to my supervisors about this matter. I'm terribly sorry!" She began leaving the room in a fluster. "I will speak to someone at once."

Veronica let out a big sigh. "Well, that spooked her."

Logan's mind started turning. "Do you think he snuck past her? Or would it be different nurses in recovery?"

Veronica winced and shifted herself in the bed. The drugs were wearing off faster now that she was awake and she was definitely feeling uncomfortable. "Different nurses. She left when they started prepping me for surgery. So he may have either paid off or parlayed his status as a patron of the hospital to get it. He mentioned that he donated a lot to this place."

Logan felt his anger start to rise, but decided to push it aside for now, seeing his wife in discomfort. "Do you need anything?" He asked.

Veronica shook her head. He watched as her free hand moved from her side and rest on her belly. She looked down, realizing where her instinct placed her hand. She moved her palm over her stomach slowly. Before there was resistance; now it was just a soft, painful mass under the blankets. The emotional pain began bubbling up again. One word kept going through her head... "Gone." She said out loud.

Logan reached over and put his hand on hers over her belly. "I can't believe she's gone either." His eyes were wet again.

Veronica looked up at him. "She?"

Logan kept looking at her stomach, afraid to meet his wife's eyes. "In my head, she was always 'she'. I even gave her a name." His calm voice gave Veronica a sense of peace.

"What was it?" She whispered to him.

"Violet. Violet Lynn Mars." He responded, tears now running down his face freely and dropping onto the blankets.

Veronica's heart burst wide open with love for Logan. He did what she never had the guts to do. He named their baby so they could say goodbye. "Goodbye Violet Lynn." She said and began to weep.

"Goodbye Violet Lynn." Repeated Logan, his body shaking with grief. "Thank you for letting us love you for a while."

"We'll never forget you." Veronica added before her mourning took away her voice completely, allowing themselves to get lost in their sadness one more time.

Keith Mars sat at his new computer with Mac. All of the bugs had been planted by Wallace without a hitch and they were reviewing how to 'follow' Duncan around the house by switching from one bug to another. He looked at the time on the computer: 4:30 pm. The board meeting was supposed to be over at 4:00 and they were hoping to hear something other than Lilly's tutor trying to teach her the state capitals all afternoon.

Keith pulled one of his headphones off and looked at Mac. "You know, surveillance work is still just as boring as it was back before all this nifty computer stuff came around."

Mac grinned at him. "Yeah, but now that you are a best-selling writer, you can multitask and write while you wait."

Keith chuckled. He opened his mouth to say something when he heard Duncan's voice. The computer indicated that he was in the office. Mac saw what was happening on the screen and grabbed the second set of headphones so she could listen too. Keith's face became stoic as he placed his headphone back on to listen.

"...those old men are going to bring down my father's company, C.W." Said Duncan.

"Those are some of your father's most trusted advisors, Mr. Kane. I have faith they know the proper direction for the company." Responded Weidmen in his quiet monotone.

There was the sound of rolling chairs and Duncan began talking again. "Did your man get the photo of Logan drinking at that bar?"

"No sir. It seems he didn't actually drink it. Cliff McCormack...that two-bit lawyer of his drank it."

Duncan let out a frustrated sigh. "Well, keep tailing him. We have to catch him doing something that will piss off Veronica so much that she will leave him. Her losing that baby couldn't have come at a better time for us. They'll be so unhappy that they will turn on each other."

Keith nearly put his fist through the computer screen. This was his daughter and dead grandchild Duncan was discussing so callously. The man was going to exploit his grieving daughter for his own gain. Keith knew he shouldn't have been surprised, but it still filled him with rage.

"I have mentioned before, Mr. Kane, I don't think that Mr. Echolls and Ms. Mars will be easy to break up."

"That's before their baby died. Logan doesn't deserve to be a father; he'd probably beat it like Aaron beat him. Veronica should be with me and carry my child and care for Lilly like she did so many years ago."

Now Keith was sure the best option for their plan was a bullet between Duncan's eyes. As if reading his thoughts, Mac looked over at him and put her hand on his shoulder for support.

"The way Veronica spoke to you at the hospital, I would say this little game you are playing will not end with the both of you happily married." Scoffed Weidmen.

There was a loud bang as Duncan slammed his hand on his desk. "Damn it, C.W. Veronica is mine! Logan stole her from me! Now, are you still an employee of the Kane family, or is this how you would like to resign?"

A short silence fell before the sound of a chair moving pierced the air. "I have to go check on a security issue, Mr. Kane. The fire alarms were tripped this afternoon while we were gone. Possibility of a small electrical fire. I should follow up though. Excuse me." Weidmen's footsteps then followed and the sound of the door opening and closing punctuated the end of the conversation.

Keith listened a few moments longer before he pulled off his headphones and flung them on the table. "He's having them tailed." Keith's voice became strained. He was still trying to come to terms with the loss of his grandchild, but still managed to pull off their plan that afternoon. The confirmation that Duncan was indeed hell-bent on breaking up Logan and Veronica began to send him over the edge as ideas for Duncan's death ran through his head. He rubbed his eyes and covered them while he talked. "We need to do something, Mac. He can't hurt my daughter again."

Mac put her hand on his shoulder. "We'll get something on him. We just have to be patient. Why don't you go and get some coffee; I'll take over for a while."

Keith nodded and pushed his chair back. He knew that he needed a big cup of coffee while contemplating the destruction of Duncan Kane.

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