**Hello readers! I have a song. It describes the way Loki feels, and the amount of pressure she places on herself.
The song is called, 'Atlas' by Coldplay.
Here's the link:
youtube-.-com/?#/watch?v=I-GGkFT03fc
The last letter of the link is a lower case 'c'.
Enjoy Chapter 45! :)**
Chapter 45: Instruments of Hope
It had been two weeks since they had fallen.
Or as I now believed, disappeared.
I refuse to believe they are dead. No face? Well, there was no escaping that one.
My brother and Eiji? There was a chance they were still out there. Why?
Because we didn't have the dreamstone.
No. I will not accept their deaths, because I don't think they are dead. These words, however, only caused the others pain.
I know what I must do. Or rather...
Attempt to do.
I have memorized the location of the last portal.
The amulet cannot allow the user to travel between realms. Were I standing on a Stargate? The rules may be bent.
It was the middle of the night. I was standing on the location, amulet in hand.
"Take me to my brother." I said.
A light flashed... And I had moved.
...
Kuhn was looking after Eiji. He was asleep, but clearly he was in pain. From what Kuhn saw, he was getting better at the training. He had finally discovered a technique to find all of the birds, but it was easier said than done.
He had to hear each bird drop, and listen to Loki as she jumped around. He would have to work on his fine tuned listening.
Kuhn mused this thought.
Well, that shouldn't be too hard. Teenagers are gifted with selective hearing...
A light flashed.
Kuhn jumped, and looked over.
Loki had already tackled the intruder, holding one dagger at his throat, the other was in hand to strike anywhere else.
She looked at him, and blinked in surprise.
"Um... So, I take it you're related to Kuhn?"
Kuhn stood. "Kahn!? What the hell!?"
She let go, and allowed him to stand.
Kuhn sighed. "What happened. How did you get here?"
Kahn hugged him. "I knew you weren't dead."
Kuhn hugged him back. "Guess not." He said.
"How did you end up here though?"
Kahn held up the amulet.
"A Stargate that led me to your location, bending the rules of the amulet for a moment... I'm afraid it only goes one way though."
Kuhn laughed. "Oh... That's all..."
He punched him in the face.
"Are you STUPID!? Do you have ANY idea where WE ARE!?"
Kahn sat up, and rubbed his head.
"Enlighten me then."
Kuhn clenched his fists. "You know... The abyss, endless oblivion? Hell!? Yeah... Holy shit. That was stupid..."
Tears streamed down his face.
"You're such an idiot Kahn!"
Kahn sighed. "I'm sorry."
He stood.
"Don't be sorry!" Loki exclaimed.
"I've never seen a finer entrance into this sanctuary. We could use that amulet to get out of here! All of us!"
The crowd stopped, and stared at them.
"Look at how this man entered." She said.
"Could we not use it to everyone's advantage... This gives us the upper hand!"
They whispered excitedly among each other.
Loki looked at Kahn. "Do you have the coordinates of the Stargate in your world. And where is your world? In what perspective is it aligned with earth, and so on... If I can have this information, I can find a way to another Stargate."
Kahn looked at her. "You're human..."
She looked down. "I think... Maybe. It's been too long to tell anymore."
She looked at him, and her gaze became cold again.
"Do you, or do you not have the coordinates." She said.
He looked down. "I do not, but perhaps I can figure them out."
She nodded. "Then do that."
She walked away.
"Kahn? Is that you?" Said Eiji.
...
I looked over, and saw Eiji. He was sitting against a wall, his leg was wrapped, and his arm...
It was gone.
I ran to him. "Eiji! Thank god you're alive! Here, let me see that."
His shoulder was swollen, but otherwise, clean. His leg had been set, but was still broken. I guess there were no magic healers, but the medical care was exceptional.
I began working on his leg. Then his shoulder. He cringed as I pulled away the cloth. I realized then, that they had no pain killers. The way the cloth was tied prevented a great amount of the pain.
I quickly healed it.
A girl was standing there, holding a glass of water. She stared at me in awe.
She set the water down next to Eiji, and looked at me.
"You... You're a magic healer!?"
The crowd stopped, and stared at me again.
The girl dragged me to that woman from before.
"Loki! LOKI! He's a MAGIC HEALER!"
She stopped. "You are!? Good work Tira. You, come with me."
She dragged me to an infirmary, where there were many wounded.
"Can you heal them?" She asked.
I nodded.
I walked over to each one of them, and healed them. There was this one that made even me cringe. It was a woman who had lost both of her eyes, and apparently her hearing. Her face had been wrapped, because most of the flesh had been torn off.
Even a little was enough to reconstruct.
He healed her face, and her eyes. Her ears and hearing were healed next.
"Are you alright now?" I asked.
"Is there anything else that you need healed...?"
She clutched onto me, and sobbed.
"Thank you!" She cried. "Thank you so much!"
I sighed. "It was no trouble."
I healed her son, and he ran to her.
The embrace was bittersweet, and I smiled tearfully. How wonderful...
Loki nodded. "Good work." She said.
Despite her cold appearance, I could tell she was happy.
I smiled. "It was my pleasure, and honor..."
I looked over at the mother and son, still in a warm embrace.
"Quite a sight, yes?"
I looked over, and Loki was already gone.
...
"You need a magic healer to do your work for you!?" Freya yelled.
"You are the definition of PATHETIC!"
"Stop it!" Loki yelled.
"We've needed a magic healer, and now we have one! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!"
Freya laughed. "God, isn't it obvious!? To not FUCK UP, AND LET EVERYONE DIE AGAIN!? Or do you need more statues for your collection!"
"SHUT UP!" She screamed.
"Just SHUT UP! You have NO IDEA WHO I AM! All I do every day is keep everyone safe, but it's NEVER ENOUGH FOR YOU!"
Loki laughed... Then she realized she was laughing.
She was alone.
She was always alone, and it was her the whole time.
"It's never enough..." She said softly.
She grabbed the whip, and began lashing herself. She had gotten in about fifty, and stopped when she felt the blood again.
She felt her arms freezing.
"This is it..." She said. "I've lost it."
She let her thoughts slip to the past.
...
Loki had wandered the lowest plain for ten years now. She was fifteen. She just walked, and waited for the wolves. They always came about now.
She heard the howl, and readied her bone knife.
One tried to lunge at her, and she pierced it's skull, stabbing at the temple, which was a weak spot.
She brutally massacred the others in the same manner. She heard humming, and walked away.
She stopped, and let the ground open, dropping an exploding mushroom which was activated by it's saliva.
The ground exploded, and she landed in the pit where it used to be.
She laughed maniacally to herself.
"The beast had that one coming! About time I found some explosives!"
She laughed darkly. "That just felt... Good!"
She laughed maniacally again.
She stopped when she saw someone.
A small boy, who was horribly injured. He wasn't dead.
His leg was gashed open.
She quickly pulled out her homemade suturing out, and sewed it up.
He'd lost a lot of blood, so she made sure he drank the rest of hers while he slipped in and out of consciousness.
He would often try to refuse it, but she made him drink it anyway.
"Just try to drink it all." She said.
He eventually woke up, and looked around.
"Wh-Where am I...?" He asked.
Loki smiled at him. "You are in the beast, but it's dead now."
He looked up. "Well I'd say!"
She laughed. "Yeah, there are so many! But I don't think they'll be a problem here..."
She looked up, and his eyes filled with tears.
He hugged Loki.
"Thank you!" He sobbed. "Thank you so much!"
She held him. "We'll make this a safe place... I promise."
...
I had heard her yelling, and listened to most of the self conversation.
I was concerned when it had suddenly stopped.
I heard this loud cracking noise... Was she hitting something?
It stopped. "This is it..." She said softly.
"I've lost it."
I walked in, and saw her beginning to freeze up, like a statue.
Her back was covered in gashes...
She had been lashing herself!
He healed the gashes on her back...
She was still freezing.
I shook her. "Snap out of it!" I yelled.
"Those people NEED you! YOU CAN'T DIE!"
She began to unfreeze.
"That's right." I said.
"Just keep doing that... No need to lose hope now..."
She unfroze, and collapsed on the floor. Her hands sitting in a pool of her own blood.
She tried to stand, but collapsed even further, laying down in the blood.
"Hold on, you've lost too much blood." I said.
I healed her further, until color returned to her face. I got her some water, and gave it to her.
"Try to drink it all." I said.
Her face was blank as she nodded.
She took the water, and sipped it slowly.
She set down the glass.
"I need you to leave... I'm going to get changed."
I nodded. "Okay, but I'll be waiting outside and listening. Just making sure you don't hurt yourself again."
"Okay..." She said monotone.
I left, and allowed her to get dressed.
Whatever had happened to her, it was horrible... Most things can be healed, but wounds of the soul are different.
Sometimes those wounds mend over time... And sometimes they never heal.