A/N: ...
Rating: Smut. Smut. Smut.
"I'm pregnant." Brittany grinned at the shocked faces around her.
"...Are you sure?" Santana asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes! I went to the doctor and everything! Just like the grownups do."
Kurt smiled, taking Brittany's hand.
"Brittany... you do know that you are a grown up now?"
Brittany blinked at him in shock.
"No I'm not! Lord Tubbington told me- " They tuned out as she went off into a rant, Blaine and Kurt exchanged stunned glances, Santana looking just as shocked as they were.
"Brittany? Who's the father?" Kurt interrupted.
"Santana, of course." Brittany shrugged happily. "We're going to be mommies!"
"Oh…dear god…" Santana muttered, and Blaine and Kurt turned anxious eyes to her.
"Do you guys remember…about…three or so months back…"
Kurt paled as he recalled the particular incident she was referring to.
^.^
Kurt didn't know why he was drunk. Kurt didn't know why he had drunk so much. He was contemplating finding out, but something shiny distracted him.
"Hey Blaine!"
It took him a moment, but Blaine turned around, a wide, silly grin on his face. "Kurt!"
Santana and Brittany lay half upsidedown on the bed, grinning widely. She had drunken just as much- if not more – than the boys and was ready to continue her original plans for the night. Of course, she didn't just get Kurt and Blaine drunk for no reason. It took long enough to convince them both – why not take something from it?
"You should make out in front of us." She said bluntly, and Kurt and Blaine looked at her.
"Why?" Kurt asked unsteadily.
"Cause you two are cute." Brittany grinned dopily, climbing onto Santana's stomach and straddling her hips, kissing up her neck.
Santana petted her hair lazily and Kurt and Blaine looked at each other.
Blaine licked his lips. "I do kind of want to kiss you right now."
Before Kurt could say anything, Blaine had attached himself to him. Kurt forgot his morals and his self-consciousness, kissing back and completely forgetting their audience. Brittany paused her kissing to watch them, letting out a low moan and grinding herself down onto Santana. The friction did nothing for either of them, and Brittany moaned impatiently.
Santana petted at her hair absently, watching Kurt and Blaine with satisfaction. Their kissing had become hungrier, but suddenly Blaine broke away.
"I want to kiss Sanatanana" he announced. "For real this time. I'm sick of pretending to be her boyfriend."
Ever since the four of them moved in together – since uni started – they'd been playing each others' beards – just in case.
Kurt nodded. "Me too."
"You want to kiss Santana?"
Kurt shook his head wildly. "Not Santana."
"Do we get a say in this?" Santana asked from the bed, where Brittany was trying to get her shirt off.
"Nope." Blaine said with a smile, crawling up the bed and resting a few inches from her lips.
Brittany giggled as Kurt crawled over Santana and pushed her down onto the bed, stroking up her arm gently.
"This is weird." He breathed, and Brittany grinned, lifting her head up to press her lips to Kurt's.
The sucking and moaning from the left alerted Kurt that Blaine and Santana had already started, but those thoughts quickly fled as Brittany's talented tongue flicked through his mouth teasingly.
Her left hand trailed down his chest, her other hand resting on his hip.
"You taste the same." She giggled, placing a few short kisses to his mouth.
"Mm." Kurt whispered, trying to kiss her again.
She didn't taste like Blaine – she tasted like a girl – underneath the copious amounts of alcohol.
Santana and Blaine shifted – Kurt was vaguely aware of Santana's legs coming out from under his own, and suddenly they were right beside Kurt and Brittany, in exactly the same position. Blaine grinned triumphantly and glanced over at Kurt, before leaning towards him and kissing him.
When both boys pulled apart, Santana and Brittany had both somehow lost their shirts.
"Are we doing this?" Kurt whispered against Blaine's lips, which were somehow on his own again.
"Yeah." Blaine grinned.
"Awesome."
With that, Blaine didn't feel as if he had to hold back, now that he had Kurt's full permission. His hands went to Santana's stomach, catching her belly-bar. With wide eyes, he ducked down and sucked it into his mouth, eliciting a moan from Santana.
Brittany, distracted by Santana's moan, glanced down at them after breaking away from Kurt's mouth.
She giggled, putting a hand on Blaine's head and twirling a finger through his curls. "That's one of my favourite things to do too."
"Kurt." Blaine barked. "You're getting one of these."
"Do I have to?" Kurt whined. "What if it hurts?"
"Only for a little while." Brittany soothed him seductively. "Just a little pinch." She sucked his lower lip into his mouth and bit down hard.
He whimpered and his hands flew to her thighs, tickling her gently. Santana smirked from where her head was thrown back over the edge of the bed, her hands nestled in Blaine's hair as he worked his way down her stomach until he hit the waistband of her shorts.
Kurt's mind blanked out – he vaguely remembered kissing everyone from there on – Blaine's head between Santana's legs – touching Brittany everywhere and making her scream.
And suddenly they were all having sex – and Kurt didn't understand how they came to this point. It seemed to all happen in unison, and then it became competition – who came first.
Both boys thrust into their respective partners – Kurt to Brittany and Blaine to Santana – drawing long moans and panting from each girl. Their breath was hitched and everyone was so close and sweating and completely drunk off their faces, but all four of them were enjoying themselves.
Santana and Brittany, despite being preoccupied, were intent on trying to kiss each other and touch each other, despite the awkward angle.
Finally – finally – Brittany let out a low moan and one hand clutched Kurt's shoulder, the other hand gripping Santana's arm as she came, Kurt following soon after with a broken moan. The sounds of their actual partners losing it was the only thing Santana and Blaine needed, before they were coming too.
It was gross. That was one thing for sure. Kurt and Blaine had pulled out, scrabbling for each other and ending up cuddling at the end of the bed, pressing lazy kisses to each other's faces as if they hadn't just been having sex with two girls. Santana and Brittany were doing the same at the other end of the bed, stupid smirks on their faces.
They fell asleep like that – curled around their respective partners with no concern for what just happened.
^.^
The next morning, Kurt and Blaine woke up at the same time first, with the biggest headaches. They stumbled blindly from Santana's room, aiming for the bathroom without even realising that Santana and Brittany were there, naked and cuddled around each other.
With the hot water streaming down around them, Kurt felt marginally better. Blaine was using him for support, moaning slightly whenever he had to move.
"Morning." Kurt finally whispered, and Blaine just grumbled a reply.
They made it out of the shower without incident, dressing and finding themselves with coffees in front of their faces. Blaine was far more awake now, almost managing a smile as he grabbed Kurt's hand.
"We got drunk, didn't we?" Blaine asked, glancing around at the empty bottles of alcohol lying around.
"No shit." Kurt said dryly, "Did you think we both had headaches for fun?"
Blaine frowned and Kurt sighed, wiggling experimentally. Now it was his turn to frown.
"Blaine, is your ass sore?"
When they were drunk, Blaine got insanely possessive and dominating – he usually topped then – and they almost always had sex when they were drunk.
Blaine shifted. "No..."
Kurt paled slightly. He remembered having sex. Well, he almost did, but he just knew he had had sex that night. He always felt different in the mornings afterwards, and he felt different. But...if Blaine wasn't sore, and he wasn't sore...
At that moment, Santana stepped into the kitchen with a wide-eyed look.
"Hi." She said softly.
And then it came back.
^.^
"Oh my god." Blaine's hands flew to his hair, tugging on them with an exasperated moan. "Kurt..."
Kurt swallowed hard. "No. No, no no!"
Santana pressed a trembling hand to her head. "Dear god."
"What?" Brittany asked, her smile gone.
"Well..." Blaine said softly. "Now we know how she got pregnant..."
A/N: Well, there that is. We're going to write a sequel to this eventually.