A/N: My insides hurt. Guys, don't drink 'ESC' - it hurts you. Anyway, since you asked nicely, here is the next Angst one. (Because I can't think of a better name)

Rating: T

"Rachel stomed out of the hospital, bawling her eyes out. She collapsed on a earby bench and pulled out her phone.

Flicking to her contacts list, she found Blaine's number.

But should she call him?

She hadn't spoken to him since he dumped Kurt…and if he hadn't been in contact…it meant he really was serious about not wanting to see Kurt again.

Besides, what would a phone call do? Worry him? Disrupt him from his life?

She put her phone back into her purse and wiped her eyes before heading back into the hospital.

Kurt was in a bad place – leaving him alone was not the right thing to do.

^.^

When Rachel finally gathered the courage to go back into Kurt's room, he was asleep. Despite that, she sat at the end of his bed, feeling guilty. Visiting hours would be over soon, but she was fairly sure she could convince the nursing staff that she was family. Besides, she doubted they would let him be alone for too long.

Before long, Kurt stirred and Rachel watched him expectantly.

"I thought I told you to get out." He rasped, and Rachel retireved another cup of water for him.

"I'm not leaving you." She said softly.

"You should."

"I love you Kurt…no matter what happens, I'll always be here."

Kurt looked away, tears springing to his eyes. He couldn't deal with this.

Rachel let him sulk, placing a tentative hand on his leg.

"What did the nurses say?"

Kurt swallowed a sob. "They want me to go to rehab…talk to some people…let them convince me that life is worth living."

Rachel bit her lip. "That's good…at least a little, right?"

Kurt shrugged. "What if I don't want to be alive?"

Rachel's eyes widened. "Kurt, you can't be serious!"

"I've…there's nothing left for me. Every vision and plan for the future revolved and involved Blaine. What else is there?"

"Make them involve me. You can still do everything you planned."

Tears filled his eyes again. "I wanted to do this with him."

"Please Kurt! Please. Don't…don't do it." Rachel resorted to begging.

"Rachel…"

"Kurt…I'll…I'll call your father!"

It was a low blow, and she knew it.

Kurt froze, his eyes narrowing.

"You wouldn't."

"I have him on speed dial. He told me to call him in an emergeny." Her gaze matched his. "This is an emergency."

"Rachel, this is none of your business!"

"It is every part of my business! You are my best friend! How am I supposed to deal without you?"

Kurt was silent, glaring at the end of the bed. Rachel got him another cup of water before sitting on the chairs provided. Both of them sat in slence – for a good ten minutes before a nurse poked her head in.

Kurt's eyes were closed, but neither of them knew if he was asleep. The nurse beckonded for Rachel to step outside.

"Are you his…"

"Sister." Rachel clarified and the nurse nodded.

"Has he said much?"

Rachel sighed. "He wants to die… Doesn't want to go to rehab…doesn't want anything."

The nurse 0nodded. "Can you tell us about his ex-boyfriend?"

"Blaine…they were together for about a year and a half…? Maybe two? Blaine's a year younger – doing his final year of school. One day he just…called and broke up with him."

"How was Kurt then?"

"In shock. For a while, he wasn't right…but he was getting better."

The nurse nodded again. "Thank you. Are you…staying the night?"

"If I can. I need to get some clothes and stuff…for Kurt as well…"

"Let us know when you leave – we'll get someone in to talk to him."

Rachel nodded. "Thank you so much."

The nurse left again and Rachel crept back into the room – Kurt's eyes were still shut.

^.^

When Kurt's eyes opened again, Rachel was curled up on a chair, reading.

"Morning!" she said brightly.

Kurt just glared at her – what gave her the right to be so cheerful?

"Guess what?"

Kurt continued to glare.

"I get to come to rehab with you!"

"What?"

"You have to go to rehab today – it's a group session, and don't give me that look. You haven't been out of bed properly for days."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Rachel, I was admitted yesterday."

"Whatever…anyway…I'm going to be your moral support!"

"Must you?"

Rachel grinned, unfazed by his attitude.

"Yep. According to the nurses, I'm your sister!"

An hour later, Kurt was fressed and clutching Rachel's hand as she led him to the counselling room. To be honest, he was glad she had gone with him.

"Rachel, I can't do this."

Rachel grinned, pulling him forward.

"Yes you can."

"Rachel. I don't want to do this."

Rachel sighed, giving him a long look as they paused in the hallway.

"What happened Kurt…" she shook her head. "Come on, I'll make you a deal. One session of group therapy. If you hate it then you can do a session of counselling alone."

"And if I hate that?"

Rachel sighed. "Then we'll look for another option…"

Kurt sighed and allowed himself to be dragged along. He didn't really want to die. It just seemed easier at the moment. The tiny, rational part of his brain told him he was being stupid, but it was far too small for him to even consider listening to it.

When they stepped into the room, Kurt was surprised. There were eight chairs in a circle – it vaguely reminded him of Rent – with people all about the same age as him milling around.

"Ah." There was an older man standing in the middle of the circle. "That's everyone – Please take a seat!"

Kurt dubbed the next half hour as one of the worst of his life. They all introduced themselves and went around the cirlce, discussing why they were there and how they were feeling.

Mark had just become homeless – he'd been gambling.

Lucy's dog had just been killed.

Jason's little sister had died from cancer.

Tony had just found out he had AIDS.

They all had different problems – some worse than others – but each leading to depression and attempts of suicide.

At the end of the session, Kurt felt emotionally drained. He had remained silent throughout the entire session – even when the counsellor asked him to talk, he managed to get away with a small shake of his head. He sighed, leaning back against his chair as the occupants started to leave.

"It's tough." The man to his left – Jason – said softly. "They hurt for a long time…but gradually they become easier."

Kurt glanced over, remembering why Jason was there.

"Death?"

"These sessions." Jason grinned. "Death doesn't ever get easier."

Kurt sighed. He was wrong. It had been almost twelve years since his mother died, and everday it got easier.

"How long have you been in here?"

The first time I attempted I was seventeen – I'd been cutting since I was thirteen. Back then, it was for a different reason…." Jason shrugged. "I'm gay…and…" he faltered. "Wait…you don't have a problem with homosex-"

Kurt smirked. "Don't worry. I'm gay too."

"Right." Jason's grin returned. "So you understand that not everyone likes gays…" Kurt nodded. "So I landed myself here and tried group therapy…I continued cutting, of course, and things got a little easier. But then Sarah died…"

Kurt bit his lip. "You didn't say that today."

Jason smirked. "I hide behind other stories…it's easier that way…"

Jason seemed wise beyond his years, and Kurt was immediately drawn to him. It was a strange feeling.

"Kurt…do you want to go get some coffee?"

Rachel stiffened beside him. "Kurt, I've got to get to work soon…I'll be back later tonight. Have fun!" the grin on her face was unmistakable.

Kurt had a fleeting thought to beg her to stay, but he turned to Jason with a half smile.

"Yeah. I do."

The coffee shop in the hospital wasn't very appealling, so after a bit of talk to some of the nurses, both boys gained clearance for the afternoon. Jason walked with him down the street silently. Kurt had a faint smile on his face – Jason's presence gave him weird feelings in the pit of his stomach.

"So…" Jason started with a small grin. "Suicide, hmph?"

Kurt laughed. "You have a great way of starting conversations."

Jason grinned. "I'm curious. How'd you do it?"

"Sleeping tablets." Kurt informed him, surprised at how easily it rolled off his tongue. "You?"

Jason lifted up his shirt, revealing milky white abs and a pink scar.

"When I was seventeen." Jason informed him. "Tried to cut out my stomach because all the sadness…that's where it fell. That's where it hurt the most... They only called it attempted because I was fully aware that I could bleed out." He pulled up his shirt sleeve, revealing a few hundred scars. "Almost got away with it that time."

"Did it hurt?" Kurt asked, reaching out and tracing a few of the cuts.

"Not at first…but then it started to throb…like nothing I've ever felt before."

Kurt drew in a deep breath."But it felt better?"

Jason cracked a wide grin. "The few seconds between putting down the knife and passing out were the happiest of my life…"

"Why?"

"Because I forgot…"

^.^

Kurt lay awake in his hospital bed that night with a wide grin on his faece. It was a different, strange concept – having someone understand. Someone who didn't judge him or make up excuses for him.

Rachel had texted him earlier – she couldn't make it back tonight but she had to text him if she needed him, and that she would see him in the morning for his next therapy session. He didn't particularly want to go, but maybe with Jason there, it would get better.

After each session, Rachel would leave and Kurt and Jason would go out for coffee. It was only after their third trip that Kurt realised his whole life had changed – just through the little things.

He no longer ordered a non-fat mocha – instead he got a small frappe. Everything about Blaine was slowly ebbing from his life.

Kurt and Jason often didn't talk. They let the silence fill between them comfortably, and they shared small smiles when they happened to catch each others' shy glances.

"Do you still want to die?" Kurt asked softly one afternoon.

Jason nodded slowly. "Not so much anymore though."

Kurt frowned, but he didn't press the matter. He wasn't sure he was ready to hear the answer just yet.

"Is it still because of Sarah?"

He nodded again.

They both sat in silence again, sipping at their drinks.

"You're wrong."

Jason cocked an eyebrow, taking a sip of his drink. "When?"

"When you said that death didn't get easier."

Jason sighed, shifting his chair slightly. "It doesn't."

Kurt smiled slightly. "I lost my mother when I was eight. Trust me…it does get better."

Jason raised an eyebrow. "When?"

"When you find something to distract yourself."

Jason smirked. "You know heartbreak?"

Kurt gave him a steady look, nodding slightly.

"It gets better."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "When?"

"When you find someone to distract yourself."

A/N: I lurrrve Jason. :)