Chapter 51: Unspoken Rules
I was laying in my bed again.
I didn't notice this as much when I was grieving over Eiji and my brother, but this smell...
It still lingered on all of the blankets. The smell of Lavender, which was the most prominent in her hair. I held them, and let a sadness wash over me. These were our covers... It wasn't her. It would never be her I wake up to, but myself.
Alone.
I knew I wasn't completely alone. But here? I was lonely...
I miss you.
I know that everyone else is fine. No one else there really cared about you like I did.
In fact? They didn't kill you only because I was in love with you...
I'm still in love with you.
I just wish I could hold you... And warm you on colder nights. If my hands were just able to touch you... Hold you.
My eyes filled with tears.
"Can you hear me...?" I whispered.
"I miss you... I need you. Where are you love? I hope it's warm..."
"Here..." Whispered a familiar voice.
A voice that dragged me into sleep.
I opened my eyes, and saw her. We were in that tent where she had shown me the armor.
I reached out my hand, and grabbed hers. It was soft, and it felt like as if she were here.
I wrapped her in a hug.
"Where are you love?" I asked tearfully.
She sighed. "Just wandering..." She said.q
"It's really not so bad. This way at least I can see you..."
She kissed me softly. "I miss you too." She said. She was crying.
Tears spilled from my eyes, and I kissed her.
"I wish I could wake up with you every morning, like we used to..."
She smiled. "Sometimes waking up was fun too. You made sure of that..."
I grinned. "Well, I wasn't the only one who knew what I was doing."
She leaned in, pushing against a tent wall. She nibbled my ear, teasing it with my tongue. Biting my neck, and I hardly noticed when she removed my shirt.
She grabbed me lower, her hands sliding.
"Shall we take this where we left off...?" She whispered.
She nipped my ear again... And pulled.
I let out a low moan.
I held her against the wall.
"Now, now..." I said softly.
"Don't get too carried away."
I undressed her, and carried her to the cot in the tent. It was small, but comfortable.
She let out softer moans. My hands were low and sliding in, my lips brushing against her chest.
She jolted, giving a louder moan.
"You like this...?" I whispered.
My other hand grabbing her chest. My tongue teasing her earlobe, biting it softly.
She flipped me over, and bound my hands to the cot.
She trailed kisses up my chest, then a soft and lingering kiss on the lips.
"Now, now..." She whispered.
"Wouldn't want you pulling what you did the first time... You're going to be a little tied up, is that alright?"
She slipped a blindfold on me.
"Oh... I see how it is..." I said, a grin playing on my lips.
She trailed kisses down my chest... Then lower.
I jolted slightly. Not being able to see her lended to more... Surprises.
The slight restraining was also a turn on.
She was on top of me, our bodies pressed together.
I jolted, and let out a pleasured moan as she trailed soft kisses and bites on my neck.
I could feel that my lips were close to her skin. I smiled, and gave her a soft bite.
Both of our bodies filled with bliss, and my body relaxed.
She was still on top of me.
She removed the blindfold, and gave me a soft kiss.
I kissed her back, feeling the warmth of her smile.
She lied down beside me, and untied my bonds. She sighed, and her expression became sorrowful.
"What's the matter?" I asked softly.
I pulled her in. "You look so sad... What's wrong...?"
She sobbed. "Don't do it! Don't use the amulet to siege the heavens!"
I looked at her. "Isn't that what you wanted?"
She cried. "It's not what you think... Hell, it's not even what I thought! I thought if I died, then you would be the rightful ruler. I didn't mean to die so soon... But..."
I stared at her. "I would have never wanted that if I had known!" I exclaimed.
"That's why I didn't tell you..." She sniffed.
"You deserve that... Well, I guess it doesn't matter now."
I grabbed her shoulders. "What doesn't matter!?" I asked frantically.
She sobbed violently. "I can't tell you! They will find me, and kill me! But... I will tell you. Don't do it... Please."
I shook my head. "It is a tyranny, isn't it?"
She nodded. "Yes. But-!"
"Then I have to!" I exclaimed.
"I cannot sit idly by and let more lives suffer because I don't want to die..."
"I don't want you to die!" She cried.
"It's a permanent death! Don't you understand!? Worry about yourself more Kahn! Not even about me, just you! If you want? I'll tell you what would get me killed to protect you! Just don't die..."
She cried into me.
"You were the only one I could see ruling all of this... You're kind, and you never judged me, but loved me. A monster... Someone like you should live another day."
I sobbed. "No! Don't say that! You are wonderful, and you're not a monster! You are misunderstood, and cast aside, and abused... And no, I don't agree with all of your choices, but I understand why... I know you didn't care about everyone else... It was wrong, but I will never hold it against you. I wanted to show you what that meant to build bonds. Not just with me..."
I looked at her.
"Nina, know this. When you love someone, you must protect not only them, but those they hold dear. My brother, who I grew up with. His wife and daughter, who are dear to him. Shisuta, like me, has seen many hardships. This is how we bonded. Her lover Karo, and his sister... Which are held dear to them. All of this matters when you love someone. You don't necessarily have to love those you protect, but the reason you protect them, is for someone you love."
I kissed her.
"I know you love me, because you are always willing to put me past yourself... And I love you all the same. Always... You may not fully understand what I have told you right now... Think about it though... Promise?"
She looked down, and tears spilled from her eyes.
She kissed me. "I promise..."
I held her in my arms for a while longer, feeling how warm she was, and breathing in her scent.
I could have been like this forever... Just holding her.
But eventually? Everyone wakes up.