Wolf: Okay to all those who have followed, favorite and commented... Gi melin, llie naa si hinmin.

Thorin: Stop speaking in elvish.

Wolf: Caro amin!

Thorin: Did you just insult me?!

Wolf: Auta miqula orqu!

*Legolas, Thranduil and Tauriel giggling*

Dwalin: You are insulting him!

Wolf: Dolle naa lostui!

Balin: *sigh* Wolf doesn't own The Hobbit... if she did... she'd ruin it...

(translation by line: - I love you, you are now my children. - Make me! - Go kiss an orc! - Your heads are empty!)

Fili and Kili snatched Bilbo away the second Thorin let him go. Actually, he didn't let him go. They just grabbed him from Thorin's arms once the hobbit was moved from his back to his arms and said they'd carry him for a while.

So far they really meant they.

Bilbo was currently being swung between the two, a elbow hooked in each of their arms, as they slowly ascended the mountain. The rough terrain and slope didn't seem to deter the brothers at all and Bilbo didn't seem to mind at first.

At first.

The higher they got the more nervous he became, even with reassurances from his companions that they wouldn't drop him. Up ahead of the group Balin was near the point of giving his king a good slap upside the head.

They'd been arguing for what seemed hours now and Thorin's piece never changed. Balin tried to get the brick-for-a-brain moron to see reason.

"Thorin, this road will be dangerous enough, with the little lad along it will be twice, if not thrice as dangerous-"

"And how is that Balin? We keep an eye on him, he comes to no harm, he can practically walk unseen already, and no elf or wizard will change my mind on this. Young Master Baggins is joining us, that is the end of it."

"It is understandable to wish to keep an eye on him, and I hate to admit this, he would have been safer with elves laddie-"

"I would not leave him with them for company." He growled out lowly. "He's here anyhow and it'll be dark in a few hours, you wish him to return at night?"

Balin sighed at that, however he nodded and slipped back a bit, muttering about 'being too old for arguing with children'.

They made camp a little while later while Fili and Kili refused to let Bilbo out of arms reach. Bilbo didn't mind that Kili practically demanded to grab supper because he seemed happy to. He also didn't mind that the brothers decided to sleep on either side of him for the night.

He did mind however, when he was practically suffocated the next morning. It seems in the night Fili pulled him to his chest and his elbow dug into his side. Kili must have moved over in the night from lack of warmth and had a knee in Bilbo's back, shoulder at the back of his neck, and hair in his face. How can they be such a tangle of limbs?

... Most uncomfortable

After some minutes he finally managed to flip Kili over and wiggled out of Fili's hold on him and sat up. You know you're going to be sore when your bones crack and click at just sitting up. He stood and let out a breath, and stretched out, causing a wince when his back popped multiple times.

This adventure was going to be a pain, he could already tell.

"Oi!" The princes turned to the noise of their little burglar's voice, he seemed pretty irate. They'd been traveling up the mountains on the road, which was more like a path, actually not even that come to think of it, it was more like a track. Anyway so they were on the road like a path like a track for a few days now and they'd just made camp at dusk. And two certain dwarves were being blamed for something.

"Yes Master Boggins?" Kili asked a little too innocently. He also smiled for good measure.

Bilbo just sucked in another breath to not get distracted by Kili's uncanny ability to grate on his little hobbit nerves and step on his toes. At the start of the trek he'd asked the dark haired brother to just call him Bilbo, a) he was sure he wouldn't mispronounce anything, and b) it was less taxing on the brain than to say 'Master Boggins'. So the hobbit just sucked in a breath and crossed his arms over his chest. "Where is it?"

Kili tilted his head looking confused, again, a little too innocent... "Where's what Master Boggins?" Oh confound this dwarf!

"You know what. Just like you know where it is."

Fili joined the battle, he was on his brother's side, obviously, "We don't know what you're talking about Master Baggins. Perhaps telling us what it is will help."

A certain hobbit child was about to retort with venom laced in his tone when he paused and looked between the two. He pondered out and knew they'd never tell him so he just decided to play along. He grinned.

"I guess you don't know anything huh? I'll just keep looking around for it then." And with that he left the two, a plan already going under way.

"No! Where is it? Kili!"

"For the last time I didn't take yer stupid knife! Now where did ya put my quiver? I'm not draggin' these arrows all th' way ta Erebor!"

Bilbo just sat looking innocently over his morning oatmeal at the two. Ah yes, this was working out marvelously. He looked over to his right and caught Bofur's skeptical look which he chose to looked insulted by.

They started it after all, plus he found it hilarious the brothers would blame the other, instead of the person they stole from in the first place. It was actually better than expected and easier to pull off to snag Fili's favorite knife. It was simple enough in design but had gold encrusted in the hilt. Kili's quiver however was a bit more difficult to grab without creating too much noise. However being quiet as a mouse proved to be very helpful in the night.

The only problem was that Dwalin was on watch at the time and when he was walking away with his prizes he'd caught Dwalin's eye. He stood frozen for a moment, looked at the princes and back Dwalin placing a finger to his lips. To his relief Dwalin just nodded and turned back to the surrounding terrain. Apparently the boys deserved it from previous shenanigans they'd accomplished in the past.

Good to know Dwalin was on his side.

"You can carry your arrows all the way to Mordor for all I care! Just give me my knife!"

"I don't have it! Just give my quiver back!"

The others just finished breakfast when Thorin informed them to pack up camp and be ready to leave in ten minutes.

A few hours later...

They wouldn't shut up. A couple of times they got into a small argument but this was unreasonable.

Fists were clenched and a few arrows were dropped of the side of the mountain. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea... But they deserved it! Until he got what was his back they could throw insults and threats as much as they liked.

That same night...

Camp was being made and Bilbo found shadows looming over him as he sat on a rock. He tilted his head back and found the princes glaring. His hobbitish nature kicked in.

"Can I help you?"

"Where are they?" They demanded together.

"Where are what?" He put a finger to his chin in mock contemplation and brightened his face, "Oh! You mean your knife and quiver?" At this the brothers nodded silently. Bilbo shrugged and looked at Dwalin for a moment before back to them, "I can honestly say I don't know."

"Where are they?" They asked again.

"Where is it?" Bilbo questioned back. The brothers looked at eachother, nodded, and Kili pulled out the hobbit's missing article, his sword. He took it in both hands and sighed contently when it sat in his lap.

"Well?" Kili asked.

"Well what?"

"Where are they?"

Bilbo sighed, placed his sword down and stood saying, "One moment." He walked over to Dwalin and pulled at his pant leg. The dwarf turned around and looked to him in mild concern. "I have to give them back now."

Dwalin frowned at this and looked over at the slightly upset looking princes. "Can't it waita bit longer?" At a smile and shake of the head from the hobbit he sighed and went to his pack, pulling a knife and quiver from within, "Ye were right in thinkin' they wouldn't think I had 'em, smart lad, unlike th' boys," Bilbo giggled and received the quiver and knife.

"Thanks Master Dwalin,"

"Oh no, thank ye young master burglar, twas a treat seein' the lads get theirs," At this Bilbo grinned and went back over to those he burgled from and handed each their own missing articles.

"Don't take this again," They spoke in sync.

"Then don't take my stuff." Bilbo deadpanned.

"No more cuddles for you Master Boggins." Kili said, placing his arrows back in his precious quiver.

"Yeah no more cuddlin' for you." Fili repeated, kneeling and placing his knife back in his boot.

Bilbo glared at that and grabbed his sword, not a letter-opener thank you Master Balin, and began walking away, "I'm sure I'll manage." He called back.

Bilbo could use a cuddle right about now. The rain had only just started and he already hated it. It wasn't his fault actually considering the fact that it was an utter downpour. Cuddle indeed, he needed some place dry and warm! A mere hugging wouldn't be enough of a distraction.

He regretted his latest decision to not need anyone to carry him, he'd basically been passed around to a few dwarves and after he'd recently been passed off to Dwalin, the tallest of the lot, we're already on a mountain, I don't need to feel this close to death thank you, he decided he'd had enough at the end of that day and said as much. He had his own two feet and he could very well use them! He didn't need them to babysit his every step.

During the rain the stone beneath gradually became more slick and he managed to catch himself every time he'd nearly taken a tumble off the side of the mountain. It was a good thing too, lest one of his dwarven companions decide to carry him. He really didn't need that, not after it took nearly an hour to convince them he was capable of simply moving up an inclination of land.

He actually had to resort to pouting with the leader of the company. He clasped his hands together, jutted his lip, and gathered 'tears' in his eyes making them as wide as possible.

Oh honestly?

Thorin didn't stand a chance.

And so it was that Bilbo was now pouting at his predicament. We'll go on an adventure his mother said it'll be fun she said.

... Adventures are not fun.

The company with you may mean well and be entertaining for the most part however, adventures in themselves are not fun and entertaining. They consist of far too much walking and they make you late for dinner! His little hobbit stomach informed him dinner would have been about half an hour ago, maybe even three hours ago.

But nooooooo, Mister Thor-jerk Stupid-shield had them walking up a harsh incline on a slippery mountain slope at Eru knows what hour in the evening or night and they still hadn't found a cave in the wall face to rest in.

The rain started to feel like shards of ice were digging into his skin and embedding into his very bones.

He was just about to call it quits on this whole adventure nonsense and just run for the Shire when Gloin appeared up ahead and waved his arm about motioning for everyone to catch up.

Okay now they found a cave in the side of a mountain. Now the dear young hobbit was just too tired to care to complain. Instead he just swished his bag off his shoulder, tossed it on the ground, and face planted into it.

"Bilbo? Aren't ye hungry?" A voice sounded above him but he didn't bother lifting his head.

His only response was, "mmmmph"

"I'll drop this food in yer hair if ye don't take it,"

"mmmmph," he steeled himself and turned his head slightly and opened one eye to glare at who ever would threaten him with such a notion.

He'd sever their fingers before any food would be wasted like that.

He found Bofur sitting cross legged at his side holding dried, (not so much), meat and an apple with some lembas bread. (The dwarves didn't seem to care much for it so it was all Bilbo's yay!)

He lifted himself up with a sigh before turning to face the dwarf and accept his delayed dinner.

"Gloin, you have first watch, Dwalin you have second I'll take up third," Stupid-shield decided to inform the Company. There were a few grunts of acceptance before bedrolls were laid out and several snores rose immediately.

While Bilbo was working on his apple and chatting with Bofur, a wild Oin sat down directly in front of him which elicited a small shriek from being startled. He looked up to see the dwarf's face and saw that face trained on his feet, which did look rather red.

"Master Oin," he started, trying to hint through tone he was perfectly fine. That didn't seem to work on someone with an ear trumpet because the dwarf simply answered back with,

"Master Baggins," there was a mutual staring contest for what can be decided as a minute, while Bilbo slowly moved his feet to rest beneath him, never breaking eye contact, before the dwarf narrowed his eyes, "I'm gonna need to have a look at those feet lad,"

"What feet?" No one goes near his feet alright?

"The feet attached to your legs." Except apparently a certain sassy dwarf.

"You mean the perfectly tip-top-shape feet?" Because there is most certainly nothing wrong with his feet!

"I'll be the judge of that."

"Bofur make him stop" He looked over to find Bofur, not beside him, instead he was on the other side of the cave attempting to reassure Bilbo from a distance. Apparently this is a fight he wouldn't win...

But Bilbo would make Bofur pay for his betrayal.

He looked back to the Company healer who looked ready to grab Bilbo's ankle when a dwarf body plopped down beside him.

Oh great another one.

He tilted his head to look at the newcomer and couldn't fight the need to make a face. It was Stupid-shield.

"Is there a problem Master Baggins?"

"Yes, Master Oin is trying to grab my feet." At this he sent a glare to the elder dwarf who was tapping the ground with a finger in a show of impatience.

"He must, seeing as how you don't wear footwear," insert scoff and crossed arms from Bilbo, "and you did spend several hours in freezing rain, it wouldn't do to have your toes break off."

That got his attention. Of course now he was glaring daggers at the fire not four feet away. "Just let him check to see if they're injured from the cold,"

"No,"

Thorin very nearly sighed in exasperation but proceeded to ask, "Why not?" Never let it be said this Durin did not have the patience for children.

"... It's a family thing," Bilbo looked up to meet the dwarf's eyes when he said nothing and continued, "I guess it's a hobbit thing then," He looked back to the ground, "Hobbits only let family touch their feet, or beloved."

"That is most certainly a problem," a nod from the hobbit is confirmation that it was the right thing to say. The only problem is that the king was about ready to yell at the Valar for making something as simple as checking someone for injuries extremely unseemly and outrageous. He pinched the bridge of his nose instead and let out a huff of air, "Oin," The dwarf turned at the use of his name, "look don't touch, if there's anything wrong inform me," a nod from the healer and baffled look from the 'patient' is when Thorin took his leave.

A few moments later... (Because we all need arguments between a kid and old man who 'knows best' from a distance)

"They aren't swelled, they've always been like this!"

"I know swellin' when I see it boy!"

"Have you seen your feet? Anything compared to them looks swollen!"

"I know our feet are different, but yours are swollen."

"Nuh-uh!"

Bilbo was grumbling to himself after being in the rain again. It didn't cease for the past two days and continued its war against the mountains they stood on.

Well, not Bilbo, he was being piggy-backed by Dwalin, hence the extra grumbling and mentally cursing of a certain dwarf healer who said he shouldn't walk for a couple of days, and since the rain didn't let up, and these dwarves were stubborn, and they were on a deadline, someone had to carry him.

Before a fist fight would break out Dwalin just swung him up on his shoulders, tossed Bilbo's stuff to Dori, and left the cave. The others were motionless for a while but caught up soon enough.

And now there was a torrential downpour acting about overhead. But the worst thing about the night was not the happenings in the sky. But the happenings on the ground.

The ground shook and the Company of Thorin Oakenshield halted. The surrounding space was hazy and misted. The sky only seemed to clear when a large rock sailed through the air to a point above where they were all standing. The rock shattered on impact and fell along with chips of the mountain where it struck.

"Watch out!" was exclaimed from Dwalin who pressed himself against the mountain side and pulled Fili back with him.

"This is no thunderstorm! It's a thunder battle! Look!" As Balin said those words every head turned to see rocks split from other mountains and stand. One such mass of rock tore a chunk of earth off near it's head and threw it at another just turning the corner, knocking it down into the abyss. Bofur leaned in to get a better look at the brewing battle.

"Well bless me, the legends are true! Giants! Stone Giants!"

"Get back you'll fall!" Is Thorin's demand and Bofur obliges with a look of utter awe cast back. to the giants in a 'fist fight'.

The moment is shattered like the ground they walk on when a cracking noise comes from the stone beneath their feet. The Company is split in two as the stone separates further and further until they realize they stand on a stone giant. Fili calls to his brother several times to grab his hand but their giant stands and is immediately head-butted by a rival.

"Hold on tight lad," Dwalin reaches an arm back to secure his hobbit to his back while leaning against the force of the wind and gravity as the fight rages.

"Master Dwalin, make it stop," Bilbo shuts his eyes and tightens his arms around Dwalin's neck, (he isn't strangling him I swear, plus kids think adults can solve everything, remember those days?... continue ^^)

As they fall back the other half of the group is able to run off onto another ledge while they're hurled back into the fight when the giant regains its footing. Their giant finally bashes the other back and it falls away, crumbling to pieces. When everyone's about ready to cheer with thoughts that they won't fall as well, another block-head throws a boulder at their giant and its head comes clean off.

The body sways endlessly before finally breaking and the Company is hurled at the stone wall.

"No! No!" Thorin runs and has his half of the Company trailing after to see the damage dealt, and hopefully not the bodies.

They found the area of the impact and found everyone, for the most part, unharmed.

"Where's Dwalin?" Balin asked in a distant tone.

"Where's Bilbo?" Bofur scrambled about and they found a dwarf boot sticking out of a pile of rocks. "Dwalin! That you?"

"Yes, now get these rocks off!" Bofur, Dori, Nori, Gloin and Bifur went about digging Dwalin out of the rubble while the others looked about for any sign of their hobbit.

Dwalin was finally unearthed from the crumbling rock and huffed shaking off bits and pebbles from his coat, his arms crossed.

"Dwalin," Thorin began, and moved over to inspect his old friend for injuries, "are you well?"

"Fine-" and was about to continue when Bofur emerged, waving his arms about.

"Where is he? Was he with ye Dwalin? Where's the hobbit?" And continued to run about, checking under rocks for a certain wee hobbit child.

"I'm right here," and everyone turned to see Bilbo being clutched in Dwalin's chest, and nearly invisible except for his eyes and tips of his toes. With the hazy rain it would be nearly impossible to see him.

That's when Dori began his scolding, "Dwalin, you aren't holdin' him right!" and went to reach for Bilbo when Dwalin pulled back and turning slightly away.

"I'll let 'im out of my arms when we get ta shelter," And with that he turned on his heels and walked away from the Company for the second time in about four hours.

A few minutes later...

They arrived at a cave Nori and Bifur found and Dwalin still didn't let Bilbo go...

Until the leader of the Company told him to scout out the cave which he received a grunt in response.

"It looks safe enough,"

"Search to the back. Caves in mountains are seldom unoccupied." Another grunt however it is accompanied by a short nod and a careful placing of a hobbit on the floor.

"I'll be back," and he poked Bilbo in the nose, got his hand swatted away, and walked to the back of the cave with his axes unsheathed. It took a few minutes for him to return with news, "There's nothin' 'ere." He sat next to Bilbo who smiled up at him, albeit shakily.

"And now to check on you two," Oh great. Bilbo lost his smile and wanted to cry. It was the 'wise' old man. Dwalin promptly rose, made an excuse, and made to sit on the other side of the cave, out of the resident healer's reach...

Cowardly little-

"Can't you check on someone else? Dwalin took the fall more than me," He whined.

"Well ye still fell didn't ye? Come on then, let me look at ye," Oin sat directly in front of the child so there was no room for escape... Jerk. "Don't worry boy, I'll get to Dwalin in a moment, he hasn't escaped me yet, aye?"

Bilbo giggled and nodded, at least he wasn't going to suffer alone, but he also wasn't letting Oin anywhere near his feet.

"I'm not going near rain or mountains ever again..." Was said after a moment of being prodded and poked by a greying dwarf, moving his arms this way and that, tilting his head up and down, turning him side to side, checking his leg reflexes.

"Hmmmph," was the response but that was probably to the bruise and small cut on Bilbo's head. Once Oin wrapped it up, he gave a confirming nod and stood, "Well done Master Baggins, not gettin' yerself banged up too badly,"

Bilbo was about to retort that Dwalin's the one that broke his fall, thank you, when a mass of brown and blonde sent him sprawling on the dirty ground.

"Bilbo!" They cried.

"I survive mythical stone giants and then I'm crushed by dwarves-" Was his reply.

"We'll sleep by you again Master Boggins! No crushing from us!"

"It's Baggins!"

Sleep may have come easily to Fili and Kili, who did sleep on either side of him. it was an exhausting day after all, however, the storm continued outside, and Bilbo still jolted awake endlessly from the feeling of descent and cold wrapped in his skin. The sense of falling and with each crack of thunder or light from lightning had him sitting upright and shaking.

So he maneuvered out of the limbs of the brothers and made his way to sit next to Bofur and the pile of their supplies. When he sat down and huffed, the dwarf actually jolted and looked over only to try and relax with a sigh.

"'snot nice to sneak and startle people in the night Master Baggins."

"Sorry," He started, while rummaging around the packs until he found his little sword and placed it on his lap and sighed himself, "I couldn't sleep."

"Oh aye, the storm's rather, loud isn'tit?" At a nod, Bofur decided to draw out a conversation with Bilbo, distract him from his surroundings, and maybe make him feel better, "So tell me some more about the Shire."

And Bilbo did, he felt like he went on for hours talking about hobbits, their ways, why the Shire's so green, why they love flowers there, their meals, their family clans.

It was a lovely distraction... until Bofur looked down and scrunched his eyebrows together.

"What's that?" the hobbit tilted his head over in question when he noticed where Bofur was looking. He looked to his lap and partially unsheathed his sword to see it was glowing blue. They looked at each other with wide eyes as Thorin called the others to wake.

And then they were falling.

Wolf: Whoooooooo

Bilbo: Whooooooo what?

Wolf: I finished a chapter this month! :D

Thorin: ...Well done?

Gandalf: Yes indeed, well done my dear.

Wolf: Thank you :3 okidoki my lovelies, I want you to know I love you all and I'll try to post when ever I can, things are hectic atm :/ sorry...