A/N: I'm sorry...
Beca didn't make it onto the field until halfway through the first half. The team had managed to keep up a good defence and were slowly getting more circle penetrations, but neither side had seen any real chances. As Beca was watching the game she grew anxious. She wanted to get out on the field and make a difference. Her replacement was obviously a weak point in their defence and the opponents were picking up on that.
When she did make it back onto the field, she was immediately put under pressure. Their opponents kept attacking over her side of the field. She held them back the first time, but made a foul in the process. When they lined up to take the free hit, Beca saw Naomi run around in attack and freeing herself up. She took a big step to her left to cover the attacker, but consequently left a big gap on the other side. Another attacker ran into the free space and received the ball. She broke through only to be stopped by Aubrey at the edge of the circle.
Beca cursed under her breath. She knew she had to trust that the girls behind her would be covered, she had to her own area of the field to defend. Barden was already in a counter attack, and Beca ran to cover the distance between the defenders and attackers. The attack was on the other side of the field, so she took a defensive position in midfield. Her teammates were doing a great job and had nearly gotten the ball into the circle. The ball was snatched from them at the last minute and was pushed away directly towards Beca in sheer panic.
Beca hadn't been ready to receive the ball, so when it hit her stick it took her an extra second to decide her next action. This allowed the attackers to run a tackle back. She heard Chloe yell a warning before she heard the footsteps closing in on her. She made a run for it, but was caught in between several opponents quickly. She managed to get a foul out of it, but by that time their opposition had already set up their defense.
Beca kept receiving more and more pressure, by the end of the first half all attacks were set up on her side of the field. She made a lot of defensive mistakes and Aubrey had to step in most of the time. They hadn't conceided a goal so far, but it felt like it was just a matter of time. Barden didn't go into half time too confidently and Aubrey yelling at them didn't help much either. It was a close game and they had to be on point, but they made too many small mistakes. Eventually one of them would result in a goal.
When the coaches and captains finished their talks, the girls made their way back to the field, but Aubrey asked Beca to stay behind. Chloe was standing at her co-captain's side with a worried look. Before either captain could say anything, Beca jumped in.
"I shouldn't have yelled at you or walked off the field earlier," she acknowledged. "I'm sorry."
"No, you shouldn't have, but we'll deal with that later. I need to know what is going on, I have never seen you play this badly. If we want to have any chance to go home with a win today, you need to get your shit together."
"I know, I'm trying," Beca said in response. She really was, but she didn't know how to get back into the game.
"So what is going on?" Aubrey asked. She seemed determined to find out what was bothering Beca, probably so she could fix it. Sharing with one person was already a stretch for Beca though, and she didn't think telling Aubrey would be any help to her situation.
"I will get it under control," she deflected.
"Beca, I'm sorry to say this, but if you can't even tell me what is going on, how are you going to get it under control? If I am not confident that you will be playing any better, I will have to bench you for the rest of the game."
Beca felt her face grow pale. "Aubrey, I've got this."
Aubrey started to turn around and walk away, but was stopped by Chloe. "Aubrey, a word please?"
Chloe shot Beca a look, indicating that she should leave. Beca picked up on this and made herself scarce. She wondered what Chloe could be saying to convince Aubrey, but she surely had her ways. Chloe knew Aubrey way better than Beca did and seemed to have a calming effect on the blonde girl.
Just before the start of half time Chloe and Aubrey stepped onto the field. Aubrey was glancing at Beca with pity all over her face. She walked towards the coaches and talked to them in a hushed tone, while glancing at Beca occasionally. Meanwhile Chloe made her way to Beca's side.
"What did you say to her?" Beca asked her girlfriend. The girl shrugged and wanted to say something, but was cut off by the whistle. Coach Smith called Beca towards the bench. She wasn't too happy with this, but was confidence that she would be allowed back in again soon.
After a while Coach Smith indeed told her to get ready to be substituted. She put on her glove, shoved her mouth guard in her mouth and made her way to the midline. Right before she could go in, she saw that Naomi was being switched out. The girl bumped her shoulder as she walked out of the field.
"Now look who can't handle the pressure," she said under her breath before sitting down on the bench.
Beca didn't have any time to think about the comment, because she had to step into the field. From the moment she stepped onto the field, she heard Aubrey and even Chloe give her instructions. They did everything they could to keep her on point. This helped and things turned around for Barden. They were attacking more often than not and had had some big chances. When the long awaited goal finally came, Stacy shot the ball beautifully past the goalie, everybody was relieved.
About ten minutes before the end of the game, Beca saw Naomi enter the field again. Instead of her usual position in attack, she was replacing Beca's direct opponent. Barden was currently in defense. Beca had taken her position next to Chloe and they were trying to pressure the defender into making a foul. The defender passed to Naomi, who ran into the space in front of Beca. She now had to prevent the girl from running up the sideline, so she stepped to the side. Naomi faked towards the middle, causing Beca to be caught off guard. Instead of watching the ball, she was watching the player, and made the beginner mistake of following the body movement.
Beca's mistake opened up the line and Naomi made a run for it. She ran passed Beca and passed the ball to one of the attackers. Beca was already running the tackle back, but she was too slow. She could only helplessly watch as Naomi got the ball back at the top of the circle and hammered it into the net.
Beca was substituted immediately and she plumped down on the bench. She watched the game end in a draw, which neither team was happy about. Barden were still ahead in the poule, but this game broke their winning streak. Aubrey looked extremely angry and Chloe looked defeated. They all shook hands and quickly made their way to the changing rooms. Everybody wanted to shower quickly and go back home. Aubrey didn't even bother to talk to the team before their shower.
When they got back on campus everybody scattered. Chloe had asked Beca to wait, so Beca was currently waiting awkwardly while the coaches and captains had a small talk. When they finished and Chloe turned towards her, she immediately felt like something was off. The girl was smiling at her, but the smile hadn't spread to her eyes like it normally did.
"We talked about your behaviour today," Aubrey informed her. "It is unacceptable that you walked off the field like that. We cannot condone this kind of behaviour, but we understand that there were special circumstances." Aubrey and Beca simultaneously glanced at Chloe. "We're not going to kick you out, but we do think it is best if you don't play the next game against your uhm… ex-girlfriend. Have a nice winter break."
Before Beca could respond Aubrey had already turned around and made her way towards her dorm. Both coaches wished her a nice winter break as well and walked towards their cars. Beca was now left with just Chloe.
"You told them?" she asked her girlfriend. "Why would you do that?"
"They were talking about kicking you off the team. Aubrey asked me if I knew anything that could soften the circumstances, so I told them. I was trying to help you."
"I thought that if I told you something, you could at least keep it to yourself," Beca said a bit too angrily.
"I get that you are angry, but I thought that you would prefer staying in the team," Chloe said as calmly as she could at this point.
"Maybe that is not your call to make."
"I think that you're overreacting. It's not like everybody knows not, Aubrey and the coaches are not going to tell anybody."
That was definitely the wrong thing to say to Beca right now. She looked like she was about to explode.
"You don't get it, do you? Everybody in my hometown started looking differently at me after what happened, don't you think that the coaches will as well? I even see that same look in your eyes. My father made me a deal to convince me to come here and I took it because it is my chance to get away next year. I just wanted to finish this year quietly."
"What do you mean, get away?" Chloe asked. Beca swallowed. They hadn't talked about their plans for next year yet, and this didn't seem like the best moment, but she had let it slip and couldn't back down now.
"I am moving to LA. I made the deal with my father that if I stay here for a year and play hockey, he will help me move," Beca admitted. Chloe looked at Beca like she just killed a puppy.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked quietly. Tears started falling from her eyes and her body shivered. Beca felt her heart break and she knew she had messed up. The moment reminded her of the moment before she had told Chloe she was gay. The look on Chloe's face resembled the look she had then. But then, Beca could still fix it. Now it seemed too late.
"I didn't know how, I'm sorry," was the only thing she could think to say. She saw that this was not enough. Chloe's eyes, which were always so soft and friendly, turned cold as stone. Her face was pale with red streaks from the tears. Her mouth was just a thin line. Beca looked at her for a while before the words she had been dreading came out of the redhead's mouth.
"I think we should break up."