Caroline kept rubbing her hands over her jeans, her palms wouldn't stop sweating. She was nervous, and with good reason. This was her first time on a plane. She looked outside the window, the plane wasn't moving yet and she felt like dying already. Her stomach was in knots and there was a pressure on her chest that left her breathless.
Now she regretted telling Klaus she would go alone, even though a part of her felt proud for not depending so much on him. Sure, having him around would make things easier, but Klaus wouldn't always be there to hold her hand and make her feel better. She survived a year living on the street. She could do this.
The engines roared and Caroline instinctively gripped the armrests.
Just because Klaus wasn't there and she didn't depend on her, didn't mean she couldn't find shelter in some sweet memories. As the plane took off, Caroline's mind drifted to a moment she shared with Klaus not long ago, when he dropped her off to the airport.
"I really hope I'm not forgetting anything important." Caroline said for the tenth time while going through her purse."
"I'm sure you aren't. Not after you checked out that long list you wrote." He said teasingly.
"I like making lists. Sue me." She said before closing her bag in frustration.
"I think I remember seeing Spots' ashes on the table this morning…" Klaus started.
"Oh my god! We gotta go back! We…" The look on Caroline's face must've been very comical, with her eyes opened widely, because Klaus started to laugh.
"Relax, love. You put the jar in your suitcase, last night. I saw you do it." Klaus said. It earned him a punch in his arm.
"Don't do that! I'm nervous enough as it is!" Caroline whined.
Klaus smiled softly and moved to wrap his arms around her waist.
"Don't be. You'll be fine, I know it. You wanna know how I know it?" Klaus cooed. "Because you're Caroline Forbes, you're a survivor. And if you need me, remember I'm just a phone call away." He said before kissing her forehead. If anyone had told him he would be all sweet and cheesy with a girl he could call his girlfriend months ago, he would've laughed. But now, he was like a new man, loving and happy. He had someone in his life that made his days brighter. He wanted to do the same for her.
"Thank you." Caroline whispered against his chest before looking up at him. "I don't think I would be able to do this if I didn't have your support."
Klaus smiled to her and leaned to peck her lips.
A voice came from the speakers, "Passengers to Richmond, please head to door number 8 to go on board."
"Well, that's me." Caroline said. Klaus' arms didn't move. It was like he had a hard time letting her go. It didn't occur to her until then that maybe Klaus needed her as much as she needed him. "You have to let me go now."
"Right, of course." He said dropping his arms. "Call me when you land." He said and Caroline nodded. She stood on her toes then and kissed him one last time.
"Love you!" She said stepping back.
"Love you too, sweetheart."
It was only after she got on the plane that she realized what just happened. She told Klaus she loved him, and he said it back.
.
There was something soothing about painting. The way the brush slid over the canvas, leaving a trail of paint behind brought some sort of comfort to Klaus. He welcomed it, seeing he missed Caroline the second she left. There was no point on going back to the office once he dropped her at the airport. But this was a good thing. Her absence allowed him to finish the painting he started. Things between them were alright again, but he still wanted to give it to her. He saw no harm in giving her something more personal. And just because they were talking again and saying the L word, it didn't take Klaus' mistake away.
He now couldn't believe he ever gave up painting. It was part of him, and he saw it as necessary as breathing. He remembered how painful it was to quit painting, but he also remembered how much it hurt when he found out his biological father was dead. Picking a paintbrush didn't feel right after that, art being the only thing that connected him to Ansel, beside their blood.
Now, years later, he could finally breathe again. He focused on the canvas in front of him. It had to be perfect. He had to mix the paint to create the perfect yellow that would make Caroline's even more perfect hair. He would add some shadows here, some light there… perfection!
It was a bright, colorful painting, and how could it not? Caroline herself was a bubbly light of sunshine –and clearly, she was turning him into a softy, since he would NEVER say the words bubbly light of sunshine before he met her-. She really did brighten up his life, to the point he thought he would explode of happiness.
It happened just a couple of hours before, when she voiced out loud that she loved him. His reply came out so quickly and so easily, without a second thought, that it was only then that he realized he loved her back. Of course he always knew he had strong feelings for her, but this? This took him by surprise. He knew he would eventually love her, but he expected it to be nerve wraking!
That's the thing about being with Caroline. Everything was easy and he didn't have to over think it. She was sweet and affectionate, with so much love to give that he could be himself around her. That didn't stop him from making some changes in his persona. Caroline was also a good influence in him.
His phone rang and his heart skipped a beat. Caroline's lovely face appeared on the screen. He took that photo one morning after waking up with her. Her hair was messy and the white sheets bunched around her up to her chest, showing her naked shoulders. She looked like a goddess with that wide smile on her face. He loved that picture.
"Hello, love." He said as he accepted the call.
"Hey, just wanted to let you know I landed. I'm just waiting for my suitcase."
"How was your first time on a plane?" He asked curiously.
"I was terrified the whole time… It was AWESOME!" She replied laughing.
Klaus chuckled at that and glanced at the painting. God, he missed her already.
"What's the plan now?" He asked.
"I'm booking a room at B&B and then… you know." She said taking a deep breath.
Klaus smiled sadly, knowing what was going through her head.
"I'm proud of you, sweetheart." He whispered. Something told him Caroline was blushing.
"Thank you." She said shyly. Yep, definitely blushing right now. "I have to go now, I can see my suitcase on the conveyor belt. I'll call you tonight."
"Alright. Take care. I love you." He said.
"I love you too!" She said before hanging up.
Turning back to the painting, he realized something was missing. He took the black and white paint tubes and continued working on it.
.
She knew what she had to do, but she wasn't ready just yet. Yes, she knew she was stalling it, but it had been a long time since she was in Mystic Falls, so there were places she wanted to go and people she wanted to see.
So after she booked a room at the B&B, she made her way to a house where she spent many happy afternoons when she was growing up.
Elena's house looked exactly the same, and Caroline felt her stomach turning in knots as she walked up to the front door.
She knocked a few times pretty quickly and waited on the porch, her hands twisting the hem of her shirt. The door opened and Caroline turned to find a friendly face.
"Hi, Mrs. Gilbert. I don't know if you remember me, but-" she was interrupted by Miranda Gilbert hugging her tight. Apparently, she did remember her.
"Caroline." Miranda said. "I thought I would never see you again." She added before stepping aside. "Come in, come in." She said pulling Caroline through the door.
.
Caroline sat awkwardly at the kitchen island while Miranda made some tea.
"We were all so worried about you, we thought you went missing or that you had been kidnapped." Miranda said. "Until Tyler Lockwood told us you wanted to leave. I never liked that kid." She added in a motherly way.
"I'm sorry I scared you. Mystic Falls didn't feel like home anymore."
"Oh sweetie." Miranda said sadly while placing a cup of tea in front of her. "I'm so sorry. I know you went through a lot, I'm just glad to see you again, safe and sound. Elena will freak out when she finds out."
Caroline smiled and took a sip of her tea.
"Where is she, by the way?"
"Richmond Hospital, she's doing her residence. I will call her and tell her to come over to see you. Can you believe it? My baby will be a doctor!"
"You must be very proud. What about Jeremy?"
"He's in Chicago, studying art." Miranda said proudly, like Caroline predicted. "What about you? What have you been up to?"
Caroline pursed her lips, she wasn't ready to tell anyone she lived on the streets, so she went for something easier to explain.
"I work at an investment services company. I'm one of the partner's assistant."
"That sounds fancy!" Miranda said impressed.
"Yeah, it is." Caroline said smiling.
"So, what made you come back now? Don't get me wrong, I'm soooo happy to see you, I mean, you basically grew up with Elena in this house. I'm just surprise you didn't come sooner."
"My dog died." Caroline blurted.
"Oh?" Miranda mumbled confused.
"And I realized then that I never visited my mom's grave. I think I'm looking for some sort of closure." Caroline said.
"I see. Have you been at the cemetery already?" Miranda asked.
"No, not yet." Caroline replied shaking her head. "I'm still mustering some courage. I guess I just wanted to talk to someone first, maybe walk around town for a little bit."
Miranda got up and walked around the island to get her purse.
"Here." She said handing Caroline a set of keys. "Take my car." And then she retrieved her hand with a playful smile. "But you have to promise me you'll come later for dinner."
"Yes ma'am." Caroline said taking the keys when Miranda offered them to her again.
.
The ride to the cemetery felt longer than it really was. It took her a few minutes to find her mom's grave since she hadn't been there in so long. But once she did, she knelt down on the grass and ran her hand over her mom's gravestone.
"Hey mom." Caroline said softly. "I brought you a friend." She said lifting the little jar with Spots' ashes. "His name was Spots. He came to my life when I really needed him. I like to think he was like a guardian angel, you know? He watched over me… Anyway, I thought he could keep you company." She said digging a hole on the ground and placing the jar in it. "Because you must get lonely here, right? Especially when your only daughter doesn't visit you…" She finished half joking, but her voice breaking at the end. She chewed her lower lip and let out a sob. "I'm sorry mommy. I'm so sorry. I know I should've come sooner, I know. But I couldn't. I felt like I let you down, and the thought of it was unbearable. You raised me to be so strong, I knew you would be disappointed to see. My life was down the drain, I was a mess… I just wanted to make you proud, mommy." Caroline took a deep breath and leaned over her legs, pressing her forehead against the grass. At this point she was crying hard. "I'm so sorry."
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AN: Writing this chapter was hard, not just because of all the feels it gave (made me tear up once or twice) but because I've been sooooo busy. If I disappear, blame the final exams and my thesis.
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