Hey guys! Hope everyone's had a good time. Canada day was Wednesday, that was fun, and is also where I happen to live - something no one really cared about. And today is Independence Day! What's everyone doing (who lives in America, that is)?
So, in some reviews, there was some questions about how Finn reacted to Clarke's killing of the buck. In my opinion, the reason that Finn acted this way is because he's still in that blissful state of "holy shit we're actually on the ground, look at all the pretty things" whereas Clarke has been through it and didn't want anything spooking the animal. She acted as she had to to get food back to the camp, and Finn had an issue with that.
Now I have some questions for you guys.
The first is silly; I just want to see who else you guys think came back along with Clarke. I'll give you a hint, there's at least one other person who remembers.
Secondly, ship opinions. I have some ideas for anything, really. But one big concern of mine - in regards to you guys - is whether you think Octavia would and should still be with Lincoln, or if you like her with someone else. Say... Raven? These are the two I'm really asking about. Linctavia or Octaven. Please let me know!
And C... I mean third. There's going to - hopefully - be a good amount of Trigedasleng in this story. The sentence from the last chapter said "Your fight is over. Safe passage." My question is, do you guys want the translations at the end of the chapters or..?
Awesome, I think that's it. So, here's the next chapter of Once More (with feeling*).
*Jokes. But props to anyone who gets the reference.
For the Disclaimer, see chapters 1-3.
Before:
She thought of going to Lexa and, right now, that seemed like her best option. Solidify a treaty of peace with the Commander of the tree people and the 100 would be just fine in that regard. No war, no needless deaths on either side.
...
I'll leave once I'm sure my people will be safe and taken care of.
...
Her heart caught for a moment in pride as the metal sunk into its target, dropping the buck. It wasn't dead, and for that she was sorry, but it definitely wouldn't be running off. ... "Yu gonplei ste odon. Gouthru klir." ... The language and the buck both belonged to the forest.
...
The brunette just shook his head and turned on his heel, marching back into the forest.
...
This time, because it hadn't been Jasper to cross, Finn was the one taking a spear to the chest.
Now:
Clarke fell forward out of her crouch to her knees in defeat and took a deep breath, closing her eyes and reclining her head. She let her body fall back against her heels and slowly let her breath out, trying to keep her annoyance and frustration inside. She heard Octavia behind her, moving forward as quietly as she could.
"We need to go," the brunette said in a low, rushed voice. "Now."
Clarke took another breath before looking to Octavia. She nodded and got to her feet before she took Octavia's hand and started running. She knew where she was going, even in the dark, and she didn't want to lose the younger Blake.
Together they made their way through the forest, Clarke hoping Octavia wouldn't question her faultless path back to the dropship. As she thought about it though, knowing Octavia, she would probably feel something was off if she didn't know right away. So, instead, Clarke just led them away from the river. They slowed down and Clarke silently cursed her stamina, vowing to herself to build them up as much as she could, after having spent the amount of time that she had in her cell. It shouldn't take too long, she thought.
They came to a stop at a small clearing and Clarke looked around, dropping Octavia's hand as they both tried to catch their breath. She scanned their surroundings and surreptitiously checked the trees, even if that was just to make herself feel safe. No warrior would let themselves be seen if they didn't want to be. Not here.
"We should rest here." Clarke said, turning to the brunette. "We can find our way back to camp in the morning. After what we just saw, it could very well mean death to do it in the dark." She saw Octavia think about it before nodding in acceptance.
"Here," Clarke said, shrugging off her pack and handing it to Octavia. The younger girl looked at her in question and Clarke gave her a small smile. "Extra padding, even if it isn't much. It's better than nothing though. You can use it as a kind of pillow."
Octavia took the pack slowly, looking down at it in her hands as if she was trying to figure out a mystery. Clarke watched her for a minute before the other girl spoke.
"Why?" She asked, looking up to Clarke. "Why would you give this to me, why are you being so nice to me? You could use it. You could write me off. I wasn't very nice to you back when we landed, but you're still helping me, and you agreed to learn how to survive with me. Why?"
"I'm-" What could she say? She couldn't say that she was used to sleeping on the ground, or that it wasn't a big deal. What answer did she have in this time to have done what Octavia said? "Your brother." She said quickly and then her eyes widened, as did Octavia's who quickly grimaced. Before she could say something else though, Clarke spoke up again.
"Wait, no. I'm sorry. That came out wrong." Octavia's eyes narrowed, not in anger but in thought, and nodded for Clarke to go on. "What I meant was that from what I've seen, your brother seems to care."
"You're not really helping yourself here any, Clarke."
"About the 100. He cares about what's happening and how we're going to live. And they respect him." Clarke thought for a minute. "He can make sure that everyone is protected, and make sure that they work. They look up to him, and they'll listen."
"They look up to you too." Octavia said offhandedly. Clarke froze and then cocked her head slightly.
"Really?"
The brunette nodded. "After your little rant, on the dropship and off, I heard what some of them were saying. They think that you've got some good points, and that you seem to know what you're doing. After this little hunt, I can't exactly say that I disagree. My brother is just older, and as much as they might not want to admit it, having an adult around makes them feel safe."
Clarke thought about that for a minute before she shook her head. "Anyway, my point is that, exactly. They listen to him. If anything happened to you, it would hurt him. And I don't think either of you want that. No one else here would really understand, I know I don't – at least not fully – but siblings are special."
"Yeah," Octavia snorted. "That's why I was tossed in a cell and my mother was floated."
"My dad was floated." Clarke said and Octavia looked at her in surprise. Clarke nodded and said, "yeah. He found a flaw with the air supplies. The Ark is dying, Octavia. That's why we're here – why we're all here." Clarke motioned to their wristbands. If she could get this through to Octavia, there was a better chance Bellamy wouldn't push everyone to take theirs off.
"These things are monitoring our vitals so that the Ark knows that it's clear and safe to come down. I know you probably don't hold any love for anyone up there, especially not the Chancellor, but there are innocent families, children. If they don't know that it's safe to come down, they'll be dead within the next few months." Clarke stopped talking and let Octavia soak that in for a minute before talking again.
"Octavia?" The brunette looked at her again, her attention having moved to the forest around them as she spoke about the Ark. "It's not just because of your brother though." It took her a second but then there was question in her eyes again, having picked up on their original conversation. "I was hoping that maybe, with time, we could be friends. After all, we live together, and with a population of a hundred, it'll be hard to not see each other."
Clarke held her hand out, in an offer of said friendship. Octavia only hesitated for a second before putting her hand in Clarke's and smiling at the blonde. "Friends, then. And if we save some kids just by surviving, well, then we have to make sure the camp survives." They shook and Clarke nodded resolutely. That was exactly what she was trying to do.
They both settled in after that, Octavia on the pack and Clarke against a convenient protrusion in the ground, covered in moss. It wasn't a pillow, that was for sure, but it worked, and it was better than hard ground.
She fell asleep quickly, the forest glowing silently around them.
ooOoOoo
"Why Clarke, why did you do this to us?" She turned, tried to run, but it was like moving through water. There were voices all around her, murmuring, questioning.
"It's your fault. You should have done more."
"I did the best I could!" She screamed and fell to her knees, tears making their way down her cheeks. Her hands wouldn't come up, wouldn't move from her sides, like they were tied down with weights.
"You should have done better."
"Look at this monster you've become." Clarke looked up and her mother appeared before her. She was stricken, couldn't speak. Her throat was dry and scratchy.
"My blood is on your hands." Finn appeared beside her and one by one, more faces showed up. The residents of Ton DC, those of the 100 that hadn't survived, every civilian in the Mountain. She knew, logically and when she was awake, that they had brushed off what they did for a few moments in the sun, or to cure their radiation leaks, and weren't entirely innocent.
But that didn't stop her from being responsible, for her being haunted by each and every one of their deaths.
"Wake up." A voice whispered in her ear, but she could barely hear it over her own thoughts.
"I will never forgive you."
"You did this."
"You did this."
"You did this."
"Wake up!"
Clarke bolted upright, a hand clutching at her chest as her breaths came short and ragged. Her eyes scanned the clearing as she started to get her breathing calmed down. Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She brought a hand to her face and rubbed it tiredly, noting that it was wet. She had been crying.
She rubbed away the tears and lay back down, moving both of her hands to lay atop her stomach. She turned her head to where Octavia lay and took another breath before closing her eyes, hoping that no more dreams would come this night.
ooOoOoo
Clarke woke with the sun and, after checking to see Octavia was still asleep, picked up her water container and made her way back to the river. Whoever was there would be gone by now, and they needed some water, even if it was only enough for a couple of people. They knew where the river was, and Clarke could send more to collect enough water.
She knelt on the bank, putting the full container beside her, and dipped her hands in the water, keeping aware of any movement the water made. Clarke brought her hands, cupped and full of water, to her face and let the cool liquid wake her up.
The blonde sighed and sat back against her heels, looking at the forest on the other side. The still of the forest was a lie of what was on the other side.
She shook her head and stood again, picking up the water. They needed to go back to the camp and get the litter they'd made before going for Finn.
She got back to the clearing where Octavia was still fast asleep. She'd chosen a place on the ground where the rising sun didn't hit her face, couldn't through the trees overhead. Clarke smiled softly and set down the water, moving to the edge of the clearing and gathering a few sticks that could work as kindling as well as a few larger sticks.
She set the kindling down in the middle of the clearing and took two of the larger sticks, setting one across the pile and one perpendicular to it, to spin. It took a while, but she got the fire going and then sat back with a pleased smile.
Clarke took a minute to breathe. She was really here. This was really happening. She didn't care about the how or the why, not right now. She had something of a plan and she was working on implementing all of it. The only wrench had been thrown last night and she knew that could be fixed as well. Finn was alive, albeit bait for a mutant jaguar, but they would get to him quickly enough.
As she thought that, she realized that the camp would have another large animal for food, and they'd need to use the litter for that, not for Finn. Clarke shook her head and made a note that Bellamy should come with them again, to bring Finn back.
Clarke sighed and leaned back. The nightmare that she'd had… she had a feeling that they were going to be regular things. All that blood on her hands. She was damaged, and she was broken. She could feel it against her skin even now. Clarke didn't know if she could wait as long as she was planning to leave camp. Being around them all was a reminder of what she'd done. Sure, okay, this was another chance; despite that, they reminded her of every decision she'd made that had led to them being hurt or killed. It didn't matter that they were alive now. They were dead then.
All she could do was better.
When Octavia woke up, she joined Clarke silently at the fire and Clarke was thankful she didn't ask about the water she'd gone to get by herself. Both sat there until the sun was halfway through its ascent into the sky. Clarke stood and held her hand out for Octavia who took it and then was pulled from her place.
"Here." She said, her other hand offering Clarke her pack back which the blonde took with a smile in thanks.
They walked back to the dropship in silence, Clarke assuming Octavia was thinking about what had happened and her with her own thoughts clouding her mind.
When they walked into the bigger clearing, Clarke was surprised and delighted to see a few awake and working. The buck that had been brought back was still on a spit over a dead fire pit and Clarke's stomach grumbled at the sight. She looked to Octavia who had an amused look on her face before they made their way to the cooked meat.
Both shaved off a few slices for themselves, thanking whoever had left it there that there was still meat left.
Clarke knew they should be going right to Bellamy, they needed to leave, to go get Finn, but she knew that they had time. Not that she was putting it off, but she needed her strength.
Unbeknownst to the two of them, someone had noted them coming back to camp and had gone to wake the older Blake on his orders.
"Octavia!" Both girls turned at his voice and the brunette turned quickly. When she saw her brother, she ran to him and threw her arms around his neck, his going automatically around her in comfort. Clarke followed at a more sedate pace, finishing off the last of her breakfast.
"What happened?" He all but demanded. Octavia stepped back and Clarke spoke up.
"We went to get water after Jasper and Monty volunteered to bring the buck back. I don't know if they told you, but Finn had gone off on his own after the buck was killed. When we found water, Finn was already there and on top of a rock, holding a vine. He swung across and landed on the other side of the river and then turned back to us because I called his name.
"That's when a spear shot through the air and impaled him." She finished and looked at the siblings. "We need to go and bring him back." She said. Octavia looked at her like she was crazy.
"You want to go after him after that? What if you get an over-sized arrow to the chest too, huh? What then?" Clarke smiled faintly at the worry but shook her head.
"It's my responsibility. He left because of something I did, now I have to go and get him back." Clarke looked to Bellamy. "Can you come with me? Along with a couple others? I don't think I could carry him back myself." She noted the gun at his waist and motioned to it.
"Having that along wouldn't hurt either." Bellamy looked at her critically for a minute before he nodded and then turned to Octavia.
"You're not coming this time."
Despite her objections to Clarke going, Octavia frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not a kid, Bell. I don't need to be protected. I want to go, I was there too."
Bellamy looked at Clarke quickly before his attention was back on his sister, speaking in a low voice. "O, if something happened to you, I couldn't forgive myself. Please, you need to stay here. For my own sanity." The look he gave her was a pleading one that she surprisingly folded to and nodded.
"Great." Clarke said, getting the both of their attention again. "While we're gone, Octavia, can you get Monty and Jasper and ask them to please look for anything salvageable in the dropship that we can use to try and connect with the Ark?"
Bellamy's expression quickly changed into that of a deer caught in headlights but it was gone quicker than it came. "Why? What do we need to talk to them for?"
"The Ark is dying, Bell." Octavia said, looking at Clarke briefly. "They need to know that it's safe for them to come down. Clarke told me yesterday-"
"Oh Clarke told you, huh? Well, since the Princess is so important, why don't we just radio the people who killed our mom and imprisoned you and let them all know that 'hey, yeah, totally come down here and destroy this freedom we have now, judge everyone that's here even though they've been pardoned.' That's brilliant, O-"
"They killed her dad too." Octavia interjected, jaw set.
"Octavia-" Clarke tried, but the brunette wasn't having any of it.
"So I don't think she's exactly a fan of anyone up there either, Bellamy. But there are kids and people up there who have no idea what's happening. Do you want them to die? Because they will. Because of oxygen deprivation. They'll all die slow and painful deaths. Is that what you want?" Bellamy just stood there silently and Clarke got a glimpse of the Octavia from before. Maybe they weren't all that different. It had just been constant war, and barely any of the girl's renewed innocence that being on the ground had brought back was going to keep her alive.
"I did something, O. Something stupid. I don't think they'll forgive that." He said quietly. Octavia shook her head.
"I don't care what you did, they have to. This is the ground, they can't float people anymore. And if everyone judges the people here, then we can go somewhere else. Just because they come down, doesn't mean we have to be around them. And besides," Octavia said, elbowing him in the side. "Where you go, I go, so you'll never be alone."
Bellamy gave her a strained smile, one Clarke could tell meant that he didn't believe her. Not about them forgiving him at least. The blonde was just grateful that Octavia had talked him into it. Hopefully it would last. Maybe she could talk to him later, get him to come clean and then reassure him. He didn't know for sure that Jaha was dead, and even if the Chancellor had died, Bellamy was the one with the name of the guard who commissioned him to do it. With Jaha alive and Bellamy having that information, surely he would be given a pardon, or at least probation.
"Gather the people." Clarke said to Octavia. "When they're all awake, pull them together and tell them what I told you. Then ask Monty and Jasper for their help. We need a working radio, but we also need them for what they know about the plants down here. Edible ones, medicinal ones, anything that they know that could come in handy." Octavia nodded and Clarke turned to Bellamy.
"What happened yesterday after we left?"
"Your boyfriend tried to convince some other people to go to Mount Weather, but he's not anyone's best friend right now." It took Clarke a minute to realize he was talking about Wells and she cursed under her breath. "No one was actually listening to him, so no one left, and I made sure that he didn't go off on his own. We planned, and a lot of the people were making suggestions about walls like you mentioned, they were going to get started today.
"Jasper and Monty came back without you two and Finn and told us you went back to get water, and told me what you'd told them. Everybody got some food in their stomachs except for a select few that decided they shouldn't have to do anything-"
"Let me guess." Clarke said. "Murphy and his crew?" Bellamy rolled his eyes and nodded.
"They were pretty pissed when I didn't let them at the buck, but that's their fault for following an idiot.
"We started to get worried when it got dark and you hadn't shown up so I posted a couple of people to keep watch overnight, and then one of the came to get me when they saw you come in." Clarke nodded as Bellamy finished, looking behind him as Wells made his way over to the group.
"Clarke." He said. "Where were you, are you alright? What happened?" Clarke shook her head, frustrated with him and his need to get to Mount Weather, to follow his dad's plan.
"You didn't trust me, that's what happened." When he looked at her in question, Clarke waved it off. "We're going to get Finn, I'll explain what happened on the way, if your ankle feels better – which it looks like it does." Wells nodded. "Good, then let's go. Octavia?"
The brunette nodded at her. "I got you covered, boss." Clarke blinked as Octavia hugged her brother again before walking off, taking the container of water from Clarke. She shook her head and huffed out a breath, looking at Bellamy and Wells. The former looked at her in amusement and a hint of caution and nodded, while the latter was confused.
"We ready?" Bellamy brought the knife out of his pocket that Octavia had slid into it before she walked off. Clarke let out a short laugh and shook her head. Wells also brought out a knife and Clarke was surprised he'd made one. She was glad though that she wouldn't have to give one of hers up.
Awesome! So, what'd you guys think?
If you didn't read the author's note at the beginning of the chapter, please do that now as there were a couple of questions up there that I'd really appreciate if you'd let me know your opinion on.
Reviews, as always, are much appreciated and encouraged.
So, I'll probably get you guys another chapter by either Tuesday or Wednesday.
Until then, faithful readers! Have a great fourth of July, for those of you celebrating. I'm not sure if there are any other significant holidays I've missed, but if there were, then I hope you enjoyed them!
-Bad Wolf