Interlude
(The Characters Read a Book)
potter rowling jk harry owns
Hermione Granger was reading a book.
"What are you reading?" asked Sirius Black.
"Is it any good?" asked Remus Lupin.
"It doesn't look very big" said Albus Potter.
"Did you check it for babbleblabs?' asked Luna Lovegood.
"What's a babbleblab?" asked Rose Weasley.
"No one knows." said 'Mad Eye' Moody.
"Enough about blaggablags" said James Potter.
"Babbleblabs." said Luna
"Whatever." said Ron Weasley.
"Let's read the book out loud." said Lily Evans.
"But I'm already halfway finished." Hermione said.
"You can start over." said James S. Potter.
"Yeah just start over." said Nymphadora Tonks.
Hermione sighed and turned back to the front of the book. She cleared her throat.
"One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish."
"Wait a minute." said James Potter.
"What's wrong." said Sirius.
"I'm confused. How many fish are there?"
"Yeah is it four?" said Remus. "One, two, red is three, blue is four."
"It could be just two." Percy Weasley said.
"That's possible." said Percy's brother Bill " One fish, then a second fish and the first fish is red and the second one blue."
"Well if it's four fish then what color are the first two?" Frank Longbottom asked.
"That would have made more sense." Fred Weasley said.
"Orange fish, green fish, red fish, blue fish." George Weasley said nodding his head.
"So that means there's four," said Neville Longbottom.
"So why not just say one fish, two fish, three fish, four fish," said Theodore Nott.
"That would be confusing," said Terry Boot.
'It would be," said Anthony Goldstein. "Is it one, two, three, four?, or one, plus two, plus three, plus four?"
"That would be ten," said Astoria Greengrass.
"I don't think it's ten," said Charlie Weasley.
"Yeah that would be too many," said Tracey Davis.
"Maybe it's one fish, then two more fish, then a red fish and a blue fish," said Daphne Greengrass.
"How do we know that the red fish didn't just change color?" asked Dean Thomas.
"How do we know they're all actually fish?' asked Seamus Finnegan.
"I don't think it's suppose to be this complicated," said Rose Weasley.
"What do you mean?" asked Collin Creevey.
"I think she means we're reading to much into it," said Hannah Abbott.
"I think it's safe to say that they are fish," said Hermione rolling her eyes.
"How do you know for sure?" asked Ron Weasley.
"Why say that they're fish, if they're not?" said Padma Patil.
"Maybe they're animagus," said Lavender Brown.
"Animagus who all four turn into fish?" asked Draco Malfoy.
"We don't know that it's four it could be five." said Susan Bones.
"Draco has a point," said Harry " Four or five animagus all turning into fish is just silly."
"How did this get so confusing?' asked Albus Potter.
"James didn't know how many fish there were," Remus said rolling his eyes.
"You didn't know how many there were either." said James.
"Let's see if we can work this out," said Sirius. "Now there was one fish, then two fish, but does that mean two fish in all or one fish plus two fish?'
"Ah! interesting Mr. Black." said Albus Dumbledore. "Yes I see how that could be confusing." He appeared to be deep in thought tapping his finger on his chin.
"And what about the other part?' asked Lily Evans. "Red fish, blue fish, is it two different fish or just one that can't make up its mind?'
"Can fish decide what color they want to be?' asked Neville looking around at everyone.
"Anything is possible a gulping gluper can change colors so why not a fish?" asked Cho Chang.
Every one turned to Luna and asked "What's a gulping gluper?"
"It doesn't exist," said Luna "Some people can be really strange, and make up all sorts of bizarre stuff."
"A gulping gluper is not bizarre or made up." Cho said.
"If gulping glupers were real, I would know about them." said Luna.
"She's got you there." said Harry.
"Oh shut up Potter."
"They don't like being blue though," said Luna.
"What doesn't like being blue?' asked Draco Malfoy.
"Gulping glupers." said Luna
Everyone face palmed. "You just said they don't exist." said Ron.
"They don't, but everyone knows they don't like being blue."
"How does everyone know they don't like being blue, when no one knows they exist?' asked Hugo Weasley.
"They don't exist, but if they did they wouldn't like being blue." Luna explained.
"That doesn't make any sense." said Minerva McConnagall.
"My brain is starting to hurt." said Severus Snape.
"What's the title of this book anyway Hermione?' Lupin asked.
"That was the title." Lily Evans answered. Hermione nodded her head.
"How do you know that?' asked James Potter.
"I'm a muggleborn." Lily answered.
"So this is a muggle book?" asked Parvati Patil.
"Only a muggle would write a book about some fish." said Pansy Parkinson.
"Muggles are weird," said Ernie MacMillan nodding his head.
"Where are these fish suppose to be anyway?" asked Frank Longbottom.
"It doesn't really say," said Hermione.
"I always thought they were in a lake." said Colin Creevey.
"You've read this before?' Sirius asked looking at Colin.
"Muggleborn," said Colin pointing to himself.
"Have all the muggleborns read this book?' asked Ron.
"Constant vigilance," said 'Mad-Eye Moody.
"What's that about?' asked Tonks.
"Seemed like a good time to say it." said Mad-Eye.
"Where is this lake?' Mandy Brockelhurst asked.
"It's not a real lake, it's just made up," said Lily Evans.
"Maybe it's the Black Lake." said Michael Corner.
"The Black Lake doesn't have any red or blue fish." said Harry.
"How do you know that?" Susan Bones asked Harry.
"I swam around in it for an hour," Harry replied.
"We don't know for sure that the fish are in a lake," Anthony Goldstein said.
"They could be in an aquarium," Dean Thomas said.
"This book is really confusing," said Sally Anne Perks.
"We just know there's some fish, but not how many or where they are," Megan Jones said.
"It would be sad if they were in an aquarium," Lisa Turpin said.
"Why would that be sad?" Su Li asked.
"Aquariums are small compared to a lake," Lisa said. "There would be nothing new to discover."
"The same thing would eventually be true in a lake," Alice Longbottom said.
"Can we get back to the original question?' James Potter asked.
Albus Dumbledore cleared his throat. "I've been pondering the question Mr. Potter and have come to the conclusion that there is not a means to answer it."
"Albus are you saying this mystery may never be solved?"
"I'm afraid so Minerva."
"Is this suppose to be so melodramatic?" Neville asked.
"Hey Harriet, we need to go." Ron said.
"My name is Harry"
"Sorry I've been in a lot of stories where you're a girl lately."
"We're not going to do one of those now are we?"
"No we're doing a Mary Sue story."
"Justin will go with you, he's got a crush on Mary Sue," Hannah Abbot said.
"I do not," Justin Finch-Fletchly said.
"Mate it's completely obvious," Zacharius Smith said.
"It really is," Cedric Diggory said laughing at Justin who had his head down on the table.
"Are we still reading the book?" Percy Weasly asked.
"Your not..."
"Confused enough.."
"Already..."
"Maybe things wouldn't be so confusing if we kept reading," Percy said.
"It never really gets any clearer," Hermione said.
"It doesn't?" Arthur Weasley asked, looking disappointed.
"Is there something else we can read?" Lupin asked.
"Since this is the Room of Requirement I"m sure it could provide something," Sirius said.
"We're in the Room of Requirement?" Padma Patil asked.
"Where did you think we where?" Terry Boot asked.
"I really didn't think about it."
"Hermione are you coming?" Harry asked.
"Oh right," Hermione said shutting the book, shoving it in her bag and standing up. Then she left the room with Harry and Ron.
"So what do we do now?" Tonks asked.
Neville had walked over to a bookshelf that had appeared in the room. "This sounds interesting," he said "Go dog go!"