Dolores Umbridge
and The Falling Book
rettop yrrah snwo gnilwor k j
WARNING: Character death
Dolores Umbridge was walking along the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry when, for no reason what so ever, a book fell on her head. This caused her foot to miss the first step of the staircase she was about to descend. It didn't help matters that the staircase choose that moment to move. She went tumbling head over heels down the moving staircase hitting her head on the corner of the bottom step resulting in her immediate death. The book which had taken the same fall slid across the floor and came to rest behind a dusty purple curtain. The book was rather glad the woman was dead. It had become quite tired of falling on her head.
"Oh, thank Merlin for that Tracy."
"Right you are Daphne."
"Hello once again dear readers I'm Daphne Greengrass along side Tracy Davis."
"Hi every one it's good to be back after that short interlude."
"Well it looks like there will have to be a change of plans Tracy."
"I'm all for that Daphne if I have to read about Vernon Dursley going to work one more time I'm going to hex someone to Salazar's grave."
"I think we're going to throw something together here Tracy."
"Are we going to be in this chapter Daphne?"
"It appears so Tracy."
"Looks like we'll need some introductions for this chapter Daphne."
"Well first we have Harry Potter as 'the raven haired boy."
"Then we have Ron Weasley as 'his tall lanky friend'."
"Hermione Granger will be 'the bushy haired witch'."
"Draco Malfoy as 'the blond ferret'."
"Yours truly will be 'the Ice Queen'."
"I'll be 'her blond Slytherin friend'."
"And we have a special guest Tracy."
"Who is that Daphne?"
"Mary Sue is here to play 'the girl with the whacked out name'."
"Well I'm really excited Daphne."
"I've also just learned that this chapter will directed by Severus Snape aka 'the greasy git'.
"We begin on Platform 9 3/4 right after this."
The girl was staring at the scarlet engine when 'the raven haired boy' approached.
"I noticed how beautiful you are, and I just have to know your name."
The girl looked at 'the raven haired boy' with her mesmerizing eyes and said with a voice of golden silk, "Thank you so much, everyone always tells me that."
This was true in fact no one was boarding the train because they were in line to tell the girl how beautiful she was. The girl told him her name which took about thirty seconds and was long and complicated. 'The raven haired boy' couldn't remember it so decided she would be 'the girl with the whacked out name'. Some one tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around to see 'his tall lanky friend', and 'the blond ferret'.
"Wait a minute." said 'the blond ferret'.
"What is it?" asked 'the greasy git.
"What year is this? I wasn't always 'the blond ferret'."
"Yes you were." said "her blond Slytherin friend'.
"Who is 'her'?" asked 'his tall lanky friend'.
" 'Her' is 'the Ice Queen'." said 'the bushy haired witch'.
"Where is she?" asked 'his tall lanky friend'.
"I'm right here," said 'the Ice Queen'.
"No no no," said 'the greasy git'.
"What's the problem now?" asked 'the raven haired boy'.
"It was out of order it should have been 'the Ice Queen' first, and the 'her blonde Slytherin friend'."
"Should we redo it?' asked 'his tall lanky friend'.
"No lets just move on," said 'the greasy git' "There have been enough do overs in this story already."
"Why aren't we using our real names for this?' asked 'the blonde ferret'.
"Creativity." said 'the greasy git'.
"Creativity?" repeated 'the bushy haired witch'.
"That's what I was told to say, Now stop this nonsense and get on the train."
"Get on the train?" said 'the raven haired boy'.
'The greasy git' rolled his eyes "Why do you think you are here if you're not going to get on the train?"
"I thought we were here to talk to 'the girl with the whacked out name'," said 'his tall lanky friend'.
"You're suppose to talk to her on the train, not out here on the platform,"
"They won't let her get on the train," said 'the bushy haired witch' pointing at the crowd around 'the girl with the whacked out name'.
"Alright everyone on the train, why we didn't just start on the train is beyond me."
"You're the one in charge," said 'his tall lanky friend.
"Your right I am, now Potter you will ge-"
"I;m 'the raven haired boy'," said 'the raven haired boy'.
"I'm putting an end to that nonsense," said 'the greasy git'.
"I said stop that idiotic drivel"
"Maybe you should use a line break."
"I don't need any of your suggestions, there will be a line break as soon as you bafoons get on the train."
"What is the hold up with this story now?" asked 'the stern Transfiguration Professor'.
"Oh Merlin, it is hopeless."