Okay wow. I know guys, I know. It's been a while. I thought I could keep up with the posting schedule I set for myself but I don't think I can. I'll try my best to post at least once a week but I've actually got full time hours at work now - and at decent hours so I'm tired at a normal hour whereas I otherwise would have still been up.
That being said, I'm not giving up on this story. I still have a muse for it and I have so many ideas for where I want it to go and what I want to happen. I appreciate the reviews for the last chapter and the messages a few of you have sent through the month to make sure I was alright and stuff. I am - alright - just busy and stuff.
You guys don't really wanna listen to me ramble on anymore, so, without much further ado, here's the next chapter of Once More.
Disclaimer: Please see chapters 1-3
Thank you to my ever-wonderful beta trueloveaddict-ally who keeps reminding me to do the writing thing while being a great friend in the process.
Before:
"For the murder of four warriors, the price is death."
Now:
Octavia called out but Lincoln managed to hold her back. That didn't stop her from lashing out though. Clarke felt Raven's hand in hers tighten to the point that she was pretty sure that Raven was cutting off her circulation. They knew it was coming, but even knowing it and experiencing it once didn't ready them for the harsh reality of it happening again.
"I understand," Clarke said. She clenched her jaw before taking a deep breath.
"You do?" Lexa asked. Clarke would have laughed at the incredulity in her voice if not for the situation. Did Lexa expect her to lash out like Octavia was doing? Gustus and Indra might have expected it but she was a little surprised at the Commander.
"On the Ark," Clarke started, "the judgement would be the same. He killed people, he would be floated – thrown into space." She clarified. For whom she wasn't entirely sure, but she did. "So if these are your rules…" Clarke trailed off and looked at the ground.
"Good." Lexa said before correcting herself. "I mean, I'm glad that you understand."
"Not that it would change his sentence if you didn't." Anya said and Clarke looked sharply up at her. She didn't back down from the look but her expression was slightly abashed.
"What about my brother?" Octavia asked and Lexa looked at her. She was calmer than she had been a moment ago but she was worried about what would become of Bellamy. Lexa had heard that morning how rare siblings were on the Ark. Rare in that they didn't happen thanks to the Chancellor regulating children. Maybe he would be okay.
"Your brother will be let go but he is not welcome here. If he threatens us again I cannot say what will become of him, Octavia of the Sky People." Clarke looked over at Octavia and saw the resigned look on her face. She nodded and Lexa returned the gesture before looking at Clarke again.
"The ripa dies in the morning and the other one will be released afterward. Everyone is dismissed." She said before turning on her heel and walking back into her tent, Anya following her. Everyone else trickled away but Clarke and Raven stayed, waiting for the others to leave. They watched as Lincoln led Octavia somewhere, probably to try and assure her that Bellamy would be okay. Clarke was worried about Bellamy, about what he would do when he heard the Commander's plans.
She knew it was the best that Lexa could do though. Clarke hoped she could convince Bellamy of that, that this was no call for arms against the rest of the grounders. This was the Commander and these were her people and Finn had killed them. Bellamy knew what the rules were on the Ark and, even though that was there and this was here, the grounders had their own set of rules. What was going to happen to Finn was something that would happen to any of her people.
Clarke knew that, she had watched it happen to Gustus. It wasn't because they were Sky People. They were being held to the same standard that any grounder would be held to.
Clarke looked at Raven when her hand was squeezed and Raven gave her a look. Clarke noticed that everyone else had gone and realized she must have gotten lost in her thoughts again. The only people that were left were the two of them and Lexa's guard at her tent.
Clarke walked forward, the couple of steps and looked at the guard who turned and walked into Lexa's tent. A moment later he was out and motioning for them to go in.
Raven and Clarke entered the tent and Clarke idly noted that the table was less full than it had been before this whole debacle had begun. She then looked towards Lexa who was in her chair, looking tired, and Anya who stood beside her. She nodded at Anya who returned it and then walked forward with Raven to stand in front of Lexa.
"I thought you said you understood," was the first thing that Lexa said before Clarke even had a chance. She even sounded tired and Clarke shared a look with Raven. She disentangled their hands and held her own up in a placating manner, head cocked slightly.
"I do, we're not here because of that." Almost visibly, Lexa straightened in her chair. It was slight, but when she knew she wasn't going to have to argue her decision to Clarke, she didn't look as exhausted as the events of the day had made her.
"Then what can I help you with, Clarke?" Clarke dropped her hands and put them in her pockets instead.
"I just wanted to tell you that I'll talk to Bellamy after… well, after tomorrow. Hopefully he'll just go back to camp then but I don't know." Lexa nodded and Clarke spared Anya another glance before continuing. "I also wanted to say that I'm sorry that this happened. I'm sorry that your people have died, and I'm sorry that it's come to what it has."
If she hadn't been paying as much attention to Lexa as she was, Clarke probably would have missed the smile that flitted across her lips. But, as it was, she was most definitely paying attention and she saw it before it disappeared.
"It is not your fault, Clarke. You were not the cause of what happened, nor were you responsible." Anya cleared her throat.
"Ai gaf get in ha em get keryon-de in."
Clarke's gaze snapped to Anya's and she held it even after Lexa had snapped out her name. The spirit. Anya had said that she wanted to know how Clarke knew of the spirit. Was that all that they called it? It was at least known well enough that it had a name…
That she had a name, Clarke instantly corrected and then started when she realized that she remembered bits of the dream she had had.
Then she realized that Lexa had told Anya about it and looked back at the Commander who was looking critically back at her.
"You understood." Lexa said simply. Clarke straightened and clenched her jaw, an involuntary reaction that she didn't know the origin of. It wasn't a big secret, but it wasn't something she wanted to advertise either. She guessed though that it was from having kept her own situation a secret and was, by now, used to deflecting.
She didn't want to lie to Lexa, and Raven already knew, so she nodded and Lexa leaned back against her chair. She saw Anya stiffen next to Lexa and smirked inwardly. Anya hadn't wanted her to know what she'd said, that's why she'd spoken in their language.
"How?" Lexa asked and Clarke looked back at her, shrugging and shifting her weight.
"I don't know. But I'm guessing it has something to do with this spirit and whatever she wants from me." Clarke muttered the last part to herself, looking off to the side as she thought about what she could possibly offer a spirit. No, not a spirit. The spirit. Clarke narrowed her eyes in concentration.
"I think that is a good an explanation as any." Clarke heard Lexa say and she looked back at her.
"You're sure you can't tell me anything." Clarke said. There really was no use in asking, she knew the answer, knew Lexa would decline, and when she shook her head Clarke nodded resignedly.
The rest of the evening was a quiet one. People were all mostly silent in anticipation for the next morning, going about their business in timely manners and eating around their fire pits. Murmurs floated through Ton DC as people talked about what had happened at Anya's camp.
Lexa hadn't told anyone but Clarke wouldn't put it past the guards who came with Anya to have spread the event like a wildfire.
When dinner came around, Clarke and Raven met up with Octavia and Lincoln again to eat. They were all quiet as they sat in the spot they'd claimed for the time being. Clarke nibbled at her food, staring into the fire as her mind wandered elsewhere. Raven sat next to her, so close their shoulders brushed with the breaths they took. Clarke wasn't complaining. They needed each other right now, the strength that the other could provide.
Octavia and Lincoln were just as close and Lincoln had an arm around Octavia's shoulder like a blanket. Clarke thought about how small she looked beside him, how her face was weary and how her eyes skirted around the village like someone would come for them any minute. Clarke sighed and finished up her food, wiping her hands together before leaning to the side against Raven's shoulder.
The rest of the night went about the same way, quietly and with each pair together for comfort in the knowledge of what would happen in the morning.
Clarke thought endlessly about it though and, thankfully, she didn't slip into another panic attack. She breathed steadily and drew from the warmth of Raven next to her. At some point, Raven had silently put her arm around Clarke to do the same and Clarke knew that.
Clarke was worried about Raven's decision to be the one to spare Finn from the torture that awaited him. Before coming back, the first time, when Clarke had been the one to do it, Lexa had taken it as a testament to her strength. Seeing as she was the leader of her people, it was judged that Finn's way of death had been enough to pay for his sins.
But Raven was going to do it this time. Clarke didn't think she needed to endear herself to Lexa, not this time, not in the wake of her drawing and whatever significance it had to her and the Trigedakru. No, Clarke didn't need to prove her strength to Lexa even if these days she wasn't so sure she was as strong as she had fronted. She cowered at the sound of a gunshot and panicked when she was faced with Finn's fate. What good was she to anyone…
Clarke shook herself internally and shoved her thoughts from there back to the matter at hand. If Raven was the one to kill Finn this time, to deny the masses the retribution Finn's torture would bring them, what would happen? What would Lexa think; what would she do? Clarke frowned as she stared into the flames dancing in front of them. Raven could be held accountable for Finn's actions, the Trigedakru could demand her blood instead and Clarke didn't want to see that again, not ever again. Raven had been through enough.
Clarke pulled away from Raven slightly and turned her body towards her.
"Raven…" She started. Raven looked over at her and Clarke was struck with the inspiration to draw her now, the light from the fire highlighting the side of her face, glowing in her eyes like little fireflies.
"Clarke?" Clarke focused again and swallowed thickly.
"Tomorrow… I can't let you do it." She said. When Raven went to refute her statement, Clarke shook her head and moved a hand to rest on Raven's shoulder. "Not alone, Raven. Not because I don't think you can, or because of something stupid. Last time I got away with what I did because Lexa knew it was the smart move and she needed me, what I meant to our people."
Raven stared at her quietly and Clarke would swear she could see her mind working at a thousand miles a minute. When Raven nodded for Clarke to go on, Clarke smiled sadly and then moved back to lay against Raven. She moved her hand to the inside of her jacket and pulled out her knife that the guards had originally missed on her person. She held it out, waiting for Raven to take it and sighed when she did, closing her eyes. "I'm going to be by your side and, when you say goodbye, I'm going to be there. You aren't going to do it alone." It wasn't a question or a request, they both knew that.
"Okay." Raven said quietly. "Okay, Clarke."
The morning came sooner than any of them would have liked. Clarke woke up with a slight stiffness in her neck having fallen asleep against Raven's shoulder, both of them sitting upright. Clarke wondered why Raven hadn't woken her so they could move to a more comfortable spot but shrugged it off. She hadn't had a nightmare and attributed the miracle to the comfort that being around Raven brought.
Once the reality of the day set in though, Clarke was tense and jittery, especially in the wake of the decision that she'd made the night before. Octavia saw the difference in Clarke's demeanour immediately and was at her side. Clarke smiled at her softly and shook her head at the concern. She wrapped an arm around Octavia's shoulder and handed her some meat for breakfast.
They all ate and hung around quietly, just like the night before. It wasn't long before Lexa was calling everyone to where it would happen. Where Finn was going to die. At least this time, Clarke thought, there wasn't an army waiting to kill her at any chance they got. There was just Ton DC and several scattered warriors from Anya's camp.
She turned to Octavia and nudged her gently, nodding towards where Lincoln was standing just off to the side. Octavia looked at her critically, like she would decide that Clarke was more important right now, but ultimately she nodded and moved to Lincoln's side, taking his hand in hers. Clarke smiled warmly at the action, happy that Lincoln had gotten his home back. It might be confusing for them for a while, but it would work out, Clarke was sure of it.
Clarke found Raven easily, standing away from the gathered crowd, worrying her lip between her teeth nervously. Clarke moved towards her and laid a hand on her shoulder, both of them turning to Lexa as she began to speak on a slightly raised platform. It must have been constructed the night before. It wasn't much, just tall enough that everyone watching would have a good view of what was happening to the ripa. Several planks of wood were surrounding a log that stood erect from the ground where Finn would be tied. Clarke's heart clenched in her chest. As Lexa spoke, Clarke translated for Raven under her breath.
"As I'm sure you've all heard by now, two days ago, one of the Sky People entered Anya's camp and killed four of her warriors. As a result, he was brought here and was subject to my judgement. My previous order to leave the Sky People to their own was thrown out when he took action against us. However, he is only one person. As such, he will be punished, and will suffer the death of a thousand cuts." Raven's hand found hers as she reiterated Lexa's words, squeezing almost painfully near the end.
"The rest of the Sky People are still unknown and we have been host to three for the past few days. We cannot take the actions of one person against all of them and they shall each be judged by their actions." Clarke let out a sigh of relief, knowing, hoping that the Trigedakru would take those words to heart.
Finn was an outlier, a wild card.
Clarke should have known that from her previous experience, she really should have. But instead she had given him the benefit of the doubt and this is where it had brought them. Someone needed to go back to the dropship. Someone needed to keep an eye on the rest of them, people like Murphy who could definitely turn on a dime and harm their standing with the grounders even more.
"Bring out the prisoner." Clarke and Raven looked to where Finn's cries could be heard, questioning where he was being taken, what was happening. Both of their hands tightened this time and Clarke had a knot in her throat that refused to lessen.
She tugged on Raven's hand; if they were going to go through with this then they needed to go now. It had to be now. They needed to get permission from the Commander to say their goodbyes.
They walked through the crowd, ducking around reluctantly shuffling grounders. They weren't packed that tightly, but they were close enough together that they definitely knocked a few elbows. Clarke and Raven both received their share of displeased grunts and hard stares.
When they finally reached Lexa they were allowed up onto the platform with a barely-there-unless-you-were-looking-for-it nod. Something Clarke had seen several times from the Commander. Clarke tried to swallow the lump in her throat again to no avail, the damn thing was persistent. She felt Raven's hand tighten around hers and quickly realized that her heart was beating too fast.
Clarke took a breath and tried to calm herself, counting in her head and cataloguing each of Raven's fingers against her skin. She moved when her breathing was even and stood in front of Lexa with Raven at her side.
"Do not tell me that you oppose this now, Clarke." She was shaking her head, eyes closed, as soon as the word oppose had left Lexa's lips. Okay, she had opposed it from the beginning, but she wasn't going to say that out loud, and she certainly wasn't going to give voice to it right now.
No, instead you're going to stand at Raven's side while she kills Finn instead of letting him be tortured to death. You're going to stand there with a village watching at your back as you take away their means of justice – deprive them of their ways, Clarke thought. This is fucking insane.
Lexa cleared her throat and Clarke looked at her, pulled from her thoughts. She glanced at Raven who was looking at her worriedly and squeezed the hand in hers in a reassuring gesture.
Clarke looked back at Lexa and took a deep breath, trying to block out Finn's loud questioning as he was brought closer, trying to block out the fear and anxiety clearly lining his words.
"We want to say goodbye." Clarke said quietly. "That's all. Please." Lexa's eye narrowed and she looked between them as if trying to gauge their sincerity. The world narrowed to the three of them; Clarke, Raven and a deciding Lexa.
"Why?" She asked and Raven answered swiftly, glad she had told Lexa of her past.
"He's the one that shared his rations with me on the Ark."
Clarke knew that Lexa wouldn't say no, not after that, but still, when Clarke saw the same minute nod she'd been given before, the world narrowed further to only her and Raven.
Clarke clenched her jaw and felt Raven's hand tighten against hers again. They were held so tight now that Clarke could feel both of their heartbeats pounding away at each other through their palms.
The two of them waited as Finn was brought up onto the platform, questions dying as he saw them standing there, unharmed and unrestrained, their expressions crestfallen. Clarke watched as a myriad of his own flashed across his face before one settled.
Resignation.
Clarke felt a slight tug on her hand and realized that Raven was moving. She wondered, briefly, where she'd hidden the knife; if it was stowed up her sleeve like Clarke had done before.
"This isn't a rescue, is it?" Finn asked quietly. He was calmer than Clarke expected, yet he wasn't. He had accepted his fate before, turned himself over to the grounders. She wasn't surprised that he had come to terms with his actions; that he knew the grounders were only doing what they needed to do. He accepted the responsibility for what he'd done.
Even though so much had changed, some things stayed the same. Clarke should have learned that by now. She needed to remember that with as many changes she made, some things would still happen as they were meant to, some things would find a way. Even though she was trying to find a way to change things for what she thought was the better, nothing was perfect, no change was a surety.
"No." Raven said quietly, her voice like gravel, laden with emotion. Sure, he wasn't the same Finn that she had grown up with, but that's what this was about, this was Raven's chance to say goodbye, to say thank you, to let go and save Finn from a fate worse than just death. He had saved her so many times, now it was her turn. Clarke knew as well as anyone that emotions weren't something you turn off with the flip of a switch.
Finn nodded and closed his eyes as the grounder who'd brought him out tied him to the pillar.
"I'm sorry." He said quietly, looking between them. Clarke and Raven both shook their heads, unaccepting of the apology where it wasn't needed. They both knew that his actions weren't solely the result of who he was but of what the ground had helped him become. Like it had with all of them eventually.
"I'm sorry, Finn." Raven said, letting go of Clarke's hand to step closer to Finn. "Maybe if I had done something differently… maybe I could have changed this – maybe I could have changed this result." Clarke watched sadly as Finn's brow furrowed as he tried to figure out the meaning behind Raven's words.
"I let you down," Raven continued. "If I had paid more attention…" Clarke stepped up and laid a hand on Raven's shoulder.
"No one person is to blame for this Raven." Clarke whispered and flexed her grip in a reassuring gesture. The broken smile that Raven shot over her shoulder caused Clarke's heart to stutter in its furious pace. Raven turned back to Finn whose expression was torn between confusion and a sad kind of determination.
"I'm to blame for this," he said. "I shot those people, their blood is on my hands because I didn't think. I didn't stop to think about what I was doing or what the consequences would be." He shook his head and looked between them.
"Clarke, I just want to say before I can't anymore that I'm sorry for how I acted when we got here. My head was stuck in the sky while we were on the ground."
Clarke knew what he was talking about and took the apology even if she knew why he had acted the way that he did. She wished she could have had the luxury of the awe that he had had; that she could have had the time to really see the ground for the Earth and not for the near-constant warzone that it seemed.
"And Raven-"
"Finn don't." Raven said curtly, her voice still leaden. "You don't need to say anything to me. There's a lot that I wish we had time to talk about, but there's just too much to say and not enough time and," Raven moved her arms to cross over her stomach guardedly as though trying to keep the situation at hand away. "And I just wish it was different this time." Raven closed her eyes and felt the deep intake of air, Raven's shoulder moving her hand with the deep breath.
"Do you-" Clarke started before stuttering over her words slightly. She took a breath, swallowed, and then tried again. "Do you know what's going to happen; what they're going to do?" She watched as Finn nodded.
"My guard couldn't resist telling me about how I would pay for my actions." His face paled slightly which was saying something seeing as how devoid it was of colour to begin with. Clarke cringed. She could imagine the vivid imagery the guard had most likely used to describe what his fate was.
Finn frowned and look back at them. "What are you guys doing here anyway?" That had been one of the first things Clarke had expected him to ask, honestly. Even though she had been expecting it, she still choked slightly when the question was raised.
"We…" How could she really explain without telling him everything, without him knowing the whole story.
"We were trying to broker a peace with the grounders." Raven said quietly. "Clarke left first with the one we had locked up. When the Exodus fell and we learned that Abby was alive, I knew Clarke would want to know and Octavia came with me; we left as soon as we could."
"You could have been hurt." Finn said, his voice surprisingly hard.
"But we weren't, were we? Do we look hurt to you, physically? We were – and are – fine and were doing just fine until you and Bellamy decided to charge in half-cocked." Clarke's brow furrowed but she understood where Raven's anger was coming from. Finn had done this twice now and Clarke knew that Raven was just as angry with him as she had been with her and Lexa the previous time.
There was so much anger to place but Clarke also knew that this wasn't the time.
She moved her hand to Raven's forearm and looked behind her to judge the crowd. Lexa looked as stoic as ever but there was an anxious energy to the people of Ton DC.
"We don't have enough time, Raven." She deflated almost instantly and nodded – to herself as much as to Clarke.
It was time.
Clarke stepped up beside Raven and gave her a sad smile before looking at Finn. She moved her free hand to his at his side and squeezed it gently. Just because she had done this before didn't mean it was any easier the second time, even if she wasn't doing it herself. She knew that, she could vividly recall her reaction when faced with the impossibility of doing it alone again.
"I'm sorry that I failed you, Finn. I should have done better this time." Her voice cracked nearing the end of her sentence. Raven stepped up before Finn could give voice to his questions about Clarke's phrasing and mirrored her actions from the last time Clarke had been in this position.
Raven hugged Finn and Clarke stayed close, knowing what was coming and wanting to block the majority of the people from seeing whose hand would deal the final blow.
She didn't hear their exchange but, when Raven made her move, Clarke saw the change in Finn's expression. For a split second there was pain and the next there was relief.
"Thank you." Finn said quietly, a slight smile on his lips upon realizing that this was a rescue, just of a different kind.
Raven stepped back, her eyes wet with tears, and Clarke saw no trace of her knife in Raven's hand. There was blood though, lots of it. Red stained Finn's shirt, the spot growing quickly, and blood slicked Raven's fingers. Clarke moved and took Raven's hand with hers so they were both covered with the evidence of their actions, all the while trying to block out the feeling of Finn's blood on her hands yet again.
It happened quickly, Clark supposed, for the rest of Ton DC but for her, the next several second passed like an eternity. One second Finn was alive and the people in the village were anxiously awaiting their supposed retribution and the next, Finn was gone.
Clarke swallowed heavily before turning around, letting go of Raven's hand and looking at Lexa. Her expression was devoid of emotion, the hard mask of the Commander in play, but the rest of Ton DC wasn't so calm. As the world shifted back into focus there were voices calling out injustices at them, at Lexa, from the crowd. A few voices called for their lives in return for taking his from them.
If Clarke had to guess, those were the warriors from Anya's camp.
"Jus don drein jus daun." Lexa spoke evenly. Blood had answered blood, even if not in the way that everyone was expecting. Her voice was terse though and Clarke's heart sped even faster in her chest.
ooOoOoo
Lexa paced in front of them. Clarke had never seen her like this and it was somewhat unnerving. Anya stood to the side of Lexa's wooden throne, her eyes following her Commander's movements. Her posture was rigid, hands clasped behind her back.
Clarke and Raven stood side by side, both having been strictly ordered to the Commander's tent by an irate Indra following Finn's untimely end.
Indra who was standing at the other side of Lexa's throne and speaking at Lexa about what they should do with the two Skaikru. Indra didn't know that Clarke understood their tongue and Clarke was keen to keep it that way for now – until Indra was willing to understand that they were here to stay.
That being said, it was hard to do with some of the ideas she was voicing. Some definitely more graphic than others. Clarke was having a hard time not visibly reacting and keeping her secret.
Clarke would swear though that, even in her angry and uncertain pacing: once, when Lexa had caught one of Clarke's reactions that she had been unable to keep at bay, she had cracked a furtive smile before resuming her pace.
Clarke was trying to keep calm. Lexa knew she was important, knew that there was something going on that involved her, and that meant that she was safe from most of what Indra was suggesting. Vehemently.
Most.
Inside though, she was a mess, a nervous wreck. She was worried that Lexa would forget everything she had been told and take their lives in return for Finn's. Or, even worse, she would just take Raven for her part in it since they didn't know who had dealt the blow for sure… and neither of them were saying a thing.
Even now they hadn't been searched again for weapons and Clarke was taking that as a good sign. Lexa still didn't think that they were threats, and that had to mean something. In light of that and the lack of rage or immediate action on Lexa's part should have calmed her emotions enough that they emulated the front she was putting on. But it didn't.
Raven, however, was easy to read and Clarke knew she was just as nervous as she was on top of dealing with the emotions that her recent actions had stirred.
Indra's threats worsened and it seemed that Lexa had finally had enough of being talked at because not a second later she was standing in front of the general, nearly growling. Somehow, despite being significantly shorter than the woman, Lexa was looking down at her.
"Em pleni, Indra." That's enough. Lexa's hands were in fists and Clarke felt the need to soothe them out of the tense grip. She sighed inwardly at the thought and shook it off.
"Heda-"
"No. Shof op o gyon au." Be quiet or get out, she had said. Clarke saw Lexa tilt her head slightly before speaking again. "No, gyon au." Just get out.
"Bo heda-"
"Nau." Lexa said in a quiet anger but getting her point across as loud as she needed to; she was their leader and she would not be disobeyed, questioned, or ordered around like a child.
"Sha, heda."
The tent was quiet as Indra walked out, a palpable frustration surrounding her.
Lexa resumed her pacing once she was out of sight and Clarke resumed her quiet worrying, taking Raven's hand to try and reassure her that things would be okay.
She felt Raven's eyes turn to her but didn't take her eyes off of Lexa.
"Alexandria." Raven's stare hardened and Clarke mouthed 'later' now that both of the other women's attention was on each other
"What?" Lexa barked, stopping in her tracks and turning to face Anya.
"Pacing doesn't suit you, strikon, or the Commander." She answered calmly, taking Lexa's ire in stride. Clarke was surprised at the intended endearment, especially given the situation. Anya had called Lexa 'little one' and it had certainly tripped her up enough to get her to calm down and stop pacing.
Clarke watched as Lexa's shoulders rise and fell with a deep breath and unconsciously stood straighter as she turned to look at her and Raven.
"I am very tempted to give my people what they want." Lexa said. "If only because you've put me in a position where that is exactly the thing that I cannot do."
A breath that Clarke hadn't realized she was holding left her lungs and Lexa looked at her sharply.
"Do not think that this means that all is well, Clarke of the Sky People. What were you thinking? How could your actions possibly have been what was best for you and your people?" Through the anger and the frustration, Clarke could see that Lexa was genuinely curious and confused by their actions.
They had lived with their ways for so long, and Clarke understood that that was how they had to live in order to survive; but it was about more than just surviving. Clarke had said it once and she would stand by that thought no matter what happened. Life was about more than the daily grind, just trying to get through. It was time for change, time for everyone to learn how to live together again without wars and fights constantly straining their lives.
To do that, the Mountain had to go and for that to happen, they needed to work together. But Clarke wouldn't let a single person needlessly suffer in order for that to happen. People would die, it was inevitable, but Clarke would save every person that she could along the way.
Her heart panged with pain as she remembered trying to do just that with Charlotte, but she couldn't let it deter her.
"I was thinking that going against you would have been pointless. This way, you wouldn't be blamed for my actions." Clarke looked at Raven before taking a deep breath and letting go of her hand, stepping towards Lexa.
"I was also thinking that while, yes, Finn killed your people, his suffering would bring nothing to anyone."
"It would bring my people closure."
"It would bring your people – that's bullshit." Clarke said, taking another step forward. "Your people love you. You could have had him executed without a thousand cuts to pay for his crimes and it would have brought you justice. A life for lives taken.
"Torture is just that – torture; needlessly malicious and cruel. Two things that you are not." Lexa looked at Clarke and took her own step towards her.
"How do you know that I am not these things?" Lexa asked. "That I am not luring you into a false sense of security before having you slaughtered in your sleep?" Clarke couldn't help the slight laugh that escaped her lips.
"You may be many things, Lexa, but underhanded and dishonest are not what you are." Behind Lexa, escaping Clarke's notice, Anya was nodding along with Clarke's words.
Raven watched Anya carefully for any sign that she would up and hurt Clarke for any perceived threat.
Lexa took a step towards Clarke and suddenly there was no space between them, the two of them standing nose to nose. Lexa's fury met Clarke's resolve as they stared silently at one another.
And there we have it! A bit longer than normal but not nearly as long as I wanted to give you guys for the long wait. Then I figured the longer you waited the longer I would want it to be and decided this was a good length.
So what do you guys think? Questions and comments are always welcome in reviews, as normal.
Have a great day and keep the faith!
-Bad Wolf