Severus Snape
and
The Sunshine Daisie Bee Honey
Harry Potter wants to know what exactly is a J.K. Rowling
"Are we ready?"
"Looks like it."
"Hello again dear readers it's your humble guide, Daphne Greengrass.."
"Humble?"
"Oh, hush you. That of course is my currently snickering friieennd. Tracey Davis."
"Hi every body, well Daphne that last chapter was rather revealing. I think this one will be just as exciting."
"Well don't hold us in suspense Tracey what's this chapter about?"
"Well Daphne it's going to be one of those point of divergent things, where you know every thing is going along as usual, but then one small change causes the story to go on a completely different tangent."
"That sounds interesting Tracey, when does this point of divergence take place?"
"At the end of third year when the Golden Trio are leaving the Shrieking Shack with Sirius Black and Professor Lupin along with a captured Peter Pettigrew and an unconscious Professor Snape."
"Alright then we'll get started, but first I have an announcement."
"Announcement?"
"Yes Tracey this chapter is brought to you by the Shrinking Solution for those times when it's just too big, use the Shrinking Solution, thanks Shrinking Solution! And now here's the chapter."
The clouds had just shifted revealing the full moon. Everything came to a halt as Remus Lupin stiffened.
"Run," croaked Sirius, then turned into a dog.
At that moment Lupin turned into a werewolf, a second later the werewolf turned into a guinea pig. Every one stopped in their tracks and looked around at Hermione Granger who had her wand out.
Surprisingly it was Peter Pettigrew, who had been about to turn into a rat, that spoke first..
"You can't do that."
"Looks like she did," said Ron Weasley.
"But that's not possible," Sirius said.
"It most certainly is possible, if a thought to be dead Death Eater masquerading as Mad-Eye Moody can turn Draco Malfoy into a ferret next year, then I can turn Remus Lupin into a guinea pig." Hermione said sticking her know it all nose in the air.
"Sounds logical to me," said Harry Potter.
Sirius and Peter looked at each other.
"Yeah, but not when he's a werewolf," Sirius sputtered.
"Why not?"
"It doesn't work that way." Peter squeaked.
"Doesn't work what way?"
"You're just a third year," Sirius said.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Maybe Pansy Parkinson couldn't do it but I'm the brightest witch of my age."
"Hey!"
"Oh shut up," Hermione said and turned Pansy into a cow.
"Look," Harry said. "You guys are just upset because you were friends with Lupin all through school and never thought of this."
"It does make things a lot simpler," Ron said.
"But what do we do now?" asked Sirius. "Does Peter still escape?"
"We can just go to Professor Dumbledore's office and work that out later." said Hermione.
"I can't walk to good on this leg," said Ron.
"Oh not to worry," said Hermione and turned Peter into a pony. "Now Ron, you can ride Peter, and carry Lupin." She conjured up a cage to put the guinea pig in. She then turned Snape into a puppy. "Sirius, you can turn back into a dog and take Snape, and Harry and I can walk together."
"You are brilliant Hermione!" said Harry.
"Thanks Harry," Hermione said beaming.
"Sorry for the interruption dear readers, Daphne Greengrass here again along with Tracey Davis."
"Hi again eveybody we're interrupting this story for a moment to discuss the validity of Grangers actions."
"Joining us now is the transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts, Professor McGonagall."
"Thank you Miss Greengrass, Miss Davis it's nice to be here."
"So Professor can Granger just run around solving every problem in the story by just willy nilly changing every one or every thing into something else?"
"Well girls it is technically possible for Miss Granger to as you say willy nilly change every thing, however I think eventually it would make thing rather confusing."
"That's what we were thinking, not to mention it would just get silly."
"Right you are Miss Davis, however Mr. Potter had a point about Mr. Black and Mr. Pettegrew never thinking about it. And I'm slightly embarrassed to say I never thought of it either."
"We'll get back to the story now hopefully it won't be getting too silly."
"I just wish Granger had turned Weasley into the pony"
"I couldn't turn Ron into a pony, he would want to spend the whole time grazing and we would never get anywhere."
"Yes I can see that."
"Oh, Miss Granger."
"Yes, Professor?"
"Please return Miss Parkinson, they need her for one of those challenge story things"
"Oh! right Professor."
"We now rejoin the story where the unusual gang of characters have made their way back inside the castle."
"What are you three doing to my castle now?" It was the caretaker Argus Filch. "Did you see the sign that says Welcome to the Hogwarts Petting Zoo?"
"Oh, are we starting a petting zoo?" asked Luna Lovegood.
"A petting zoo? Excellent idea." said Albus Dumbledore. "Where did you say the sign was Argus?"
"There isn't a sign," said Filch throwing up his hands.
"Then how are they suppose to see it?"
Filch just stared at the Headmaster his mouth opening and closing.
"Well never mind I suppose we can make one later. In the meantime have you three seen Professor Lupin or Professor Snape? They seemed to have disappeared."
"Professor Snape is right here sir," said Hermione and turned the sleeping puppy back into Snape, who was still unconscious.
"My word!" exclaimed Dumbledore. He pointed his wand at Snape who came awake at once looking very confused.
"Severus my dear man you know you will have to get registered Minerva will be so proud, another animagus on the staff."
Snape was now more confused than ever and began shaking his head.
"Ah don't be modest now Severus," said Dumbledore.
"It's not me it's them," he said pointing to the three students.
"Are you saying the Golden Trio taught you to become an Animagus!? That's brilliant!"
"Why do you think I'm an Animagus?" Snape asked still looking very confused.
"Because you were a puppy a minute ago."
"One of them did that," Snape said pointing at the three Gryfindors.
"Why would one of them turn you into a puppy?"
"Because-" Snape started to say then realized he didn't have any idea.
"Well never mind that," said Dumbledore. "The important question is where is Lupin?"
"He's right here sir," said Ron holding up the cage with the guinea pig in it.
"Remus? How are you hiding behind that guinea pig? Did you take a shrinking solution?"
Harry cleared his throat. " Sir Professor Lupin is the guinea pig."
"He's an Animagus also?!"
"Well, no sir I transfigured him," Hermione quickly said.
"Now Miss Granger why in the name of Eric the Oddball would you do that?"
"Well he had just turned into a werewolf."
"Go on."
"So I thought there has to be something some one can do. I mean we can do magic, then it hit me, just change the werewolf into something else."
"Most ingenious," Dumbledore said stroking his beard. " Severus it seems there is no need for the Wolfsbane Potion anymore see if you can come up with another use for it, and change the name would you."
Snape was at a complete loss for a moment . " You can't just change what a potion does." he said throwing up his hands.
"Oh, it can't be that hard," said Dumbledore. " Just add some Sunshine Daisie Bee Honey to it."
"Some what?" asked Snape.
"Not this nonsense again," said Hermione, rubbing her temples.
"Sunshine Daisie Bee Honey," Luna said to Snape. "But its very hard to get, the Sunshine Daisie Bees don't just give it to any one, you have to be worthy."
"Worthy?" said Harry.
"There's no such thing as Sunshine Daisie Bee Honey, or Sunshine Daisie Bees for that matter." Hermione said rolling her eyes.
Luna looked at Hermione. "Mary Sue told me all about it, she's from the Land of Sunshine Daisies you know."
"Where is Mary Sue?" asked Ron.
"She might be here later if she finishes the Marauders era AU she's doing. I like your pony Ron."
"Thanks Luna," Ron said.
"Ron! that's not yours and it's not a pony," Hermione said with a sigh.
"You know, you could kind of say it's his," Harry said.
"Hey, that's right, good point Harry," Ron said.
"No it's not a good point, it's ridiculous," said Hermione.
"Harry Potter does have a good point Miss Harry Potters friend," said Dobby the house elf.
"Dobby! why are you here?" asked Harry.
"And what do you mean he has a good point?" asked Hermione with her hands on her hips.
"It does belong to the other friend of Harry Potter Miss"
"And how would that be? she asked, just knowing she was going to regret it."
"Well it volunteered to be with Harry Potters friend, and based on a new magical bond we just made up, since it volunteered to be a possession of Harry Potters friend it now belongs to Harry Potters friend."
Hermione's mouth opened and closed seven times before something came out. "You can't just make up new magic in the middle of a story!" she said throwing her hands in the air.
"Of course you can," said Harry.
"Where have you been?" said Ron shaking his head.
"Okay how long does it take for this so called magical bond to take effect?" Hermione asked folding her arms.
"We don't really know Miss we just now came up with it." Dobby said with a shrug.
"Does it really matter?" asked Harry.
"It's obviously been long enough." said Luna.
"Anyway it could have left at any time," said Harry.
"Exactly it brought this on it's self." said Ron.
"It did not bring this on it's self, and stop calling it It."
"I hate to interrupt but you said this isn't a pony, what is it a rat?" asked Dumbledore.
"Yes," Harry, Ron and Hermione said.
"I didn't know the rats were getting that big. Argus have a talk with Mrs. Norris we don't want this getting out of hand."
"This is the most infuriating story I've ever been in." Hermione said with her head in her hands.
"That's not true," Harry said. "Remember that story where you were with .."
"Finish that and you'll never be in another harem story."
"What if I don't want it?" said Ron.
"Don't want it?" Dobby repeated looking confused.
"I wouldn't want a rat that was that big either," said Dumbledore.
"You could just give it to the Aurors," Harry suggested.
"Wow, that's a good idea Harry," Hermione said.
"But what about the petting zoo?" Luna asked.
"Yes good question Miss Lovegood. Argus it looks as though you already have to replace something. I would suggest finding a pony that's actually a pony," Dumbledore said.
Filch wanted to protest but the Headmaster had turned to Ron.
"Mr Weasley I can put you in contact with the Aurors if you wish although I can't see why they would need a rat that looks like a pony."
" Oh, but it's a special rat," said Harry.
"That it is," said Ron.
"Well that's settled then," said Dumbledore. "I'll contact the Aurors right away. Argus you said there wasn't a sign for the petting zoo, perhaps that should be your next priority, Severus if you have any questions about the Sunshine Daisie Bee Honey, I'm sure Miss Lovegood would be willing to answer them. Good evening to you all."
"Well what did you think Daphne?"
"Interesting Tracey, but I don't think Dumbledore was much help."
"Perhaps it wasn't actually Dumbledore."
"You mean it could have been some one in disguise, Tracey?"
"It's happened before Daphne."
"Well perhaps we'll find out in the next chapter. Until then this is Daphne Greengrass."
"And Tracey Davis."
"Have a good day every one."