After not sleeping a wink for most of the night, Summer got herself and David up and ready for the day in impressive record time. She would have been proud if not for the fact that her cowardice was the reason for her quick and efficient morning.

No closer to figuring out how to handle the accidental "I love you" debacle of the night before, she opted for avoiding Bucky at all costs until she managed to gain some courage and figure out how to deal with it. Which meant that she might be avoiding him until the next Ice Age rolled around, but that was nether here nor there.

After dropping David off at the tower's highly convenient daycare, she went about her work day and did everything in her power to stay focused on her work and stop obsessing about what to say and how to say it once she eventually had to face Bucky. Naturally, however, she thought of nothing but that.

After picking up a dress for the CEO herself from the cleaners, Summer threw herself and her cargo into a cab and then yanked out her phone, absolutely positive that she was gonna lose it unless she vented to someone. And finally, after such a long time of having to keep secrets from him, she was able to do just that with her brother. If he answered. Luckily, he did.

"Hey, good timing, I'm between patients," he said cheerfully after picking up. She sighed and sank back against the worn cushion behind her.

"Thank goodness. I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna find a beach and start running around on it yelling 'tick tock, tick tock'."

"Well, that doesn't sound good. What's got you going all 'Catching Fire'?"

"First of all, you have to promise that you won't make fun of me. Or judge me."

"... I cannot, in good conscience, agree to either condition."

She sighed. "Seriously, you're going to laugh at me so hard."

"Wouldn't be the first time. Now spill. I'm busy saving lives over here."

She paused, drawing a breath and deciding to just blurt it all out. "So last night I was telling B-, uh, you know who, goodnight, and I just randomly said 'I love you' out of nowhere and now I'm kind of hiding from him because I feel like an idiot and I'm pretty sure I freaked him out."

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds that dragged on forever. Then there was hearty laughter that made Summer roll her eyes and drag her hand over her face.

"Okay," he said upon controlling his laughter, "all right, first of all - that is hilarious - but what did he do?"

"... Stared at me and kind of... did nothing," she replied. "He looked kind of shocked, but I didn't even realize what I said until after I went back to my room."

"Of course you didn't," Paul chuckled. "Okay, so what else?"

She stared blankly ahead and then answered, "Uh, that's it."

"You're tick tocking over that?"

"Well, yes."

"That is not worth tick tocking over. Frankly, you're dishonoring the memory of a tribute now."

"Ugh!" she half-growled in frustration, "I'm trying to vent to you! Can you stop being annoying for five minutes?"

"Fine! Whatever. Okay, so how can I help?"

She paused then and sighed a little. "Tell me I'm stupid for hiding and to grow a pair and face him and explain."

"Okay. Do that. Out of curiosity though, how do you plan on explaining that?"

She groaned. "I don't know."

"Well, do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Love him, duh."

"I don't know!" she instantly replied, more of a gut reaction than a real answer. "I mean, how would I?"

Paul was silent for another few seconds. Then he said, "All right, you've gotta be able to hear for yourself how full of crap you are."

"I'm not -"

"Hey, quiet time. You're full of crap, and you know why? Because look at you right now and how you've changed your life to be with him. As deprived of male attention as you were, I don't think you'd do all this just to get to make out with a creepy ex - er, Voldemort," he said, quickly remembering their code name for Bucky. "Also, you look at him like you're some chick from a Nicholas Sparks novel, and it's disgusting."

She wrinkled her nose a bit, torn between being offended and being amused. "Don't tell me that. That is disgusting."

"Yeah, because I don't mean one of the good ones like the Notebook."

"I hate the Notebook."

"Because you have no soul and a black dead heart," he retorted. "Anyway. Yeah. You've got it bad for him. Pretty obvious. And disgusting."

She sighed and leaned her head back against the seat. "What should I do? Should I just act like it didn't happen?"

"Sure, because that always turns out great never."

She groaned. "Then what do I do?"

"Take your own suggestion and grow a pair and explain it to him," he answered. "And then give him your creepy horny look and be disgusting and never, ever tell me about what happens next. Ever."

"My what?" she half-exclaimed. Why was everyone else but her aware of this supposed look?

"I gotta go. Duty calls."

"Wait!" she protested. "I don't want to mess anything up! What if it's too soon? What if I freaked him out and now he's gonna run away?"

"Well, then let him, because that would be ridiculous," Paul replied. "Now seriously, I gotta go. Literally running to a code right now."

"Fine," she grumbled. "Go save lives while I slam my head against the wall."

"Will do. Bye kiddo."

She muttered a half-hearted goodbye and then hung up, knowing that he was right. She just needed to see Bucky later, address the issue, and then move on. Move way on, so far on that they could forget that it ever happened, so that maybe someday they could have a proper first "I love you" and not some weird automatic thing blurted out from nowhere.

Yes. That was totally the thing to do.

She spent the rest of her day working and psyching herself up for what she was darkly referring to in her head as "the talk", knowing full well that she was making too much out of it. She had mentally rehearsed her speech to him about twenty different times when it reached the late afternoon, about half an hour from when she was off, which was when her phone buzzed with a text from Bucky.

After panicking inexplicably for a minute, she opened the text and read, Out with Steve for awhile. Be back later.

Of course.

On the bright side, she figured, now she had even more time to psych her herself up. On the not-so-bright side, she sort of wanted to throw up, and she could really use a chill pill or two.

"So, she just... said it and then... left?"

Bucky nodded, hands in the pockets of his coats as he and Steve walked incognito down the slightly darkened city streets. He'd been going over that moment from the previous night over and over throughout nearly the whole day, including that morning with Dr. Connor, and he was still not sure as to what to do about it. "Yeah. I don't think she even knew that she said it."

"How's she acted today?"

"Couldn't say. I haven't seen her."

"Ah. So she probably did realize it afterwards."

"And she's avoiding me," Bucky agreed. Though, if that was the case, she probably thought that he was avoiding her now, since he'd left the tower almost right when she'd gotten off of work. But that wasn't his intention. He and Steve simply had a much easier time walking the streets with the under the cover of night.

"You should probably talk to her when we get back," Steve said, stating the obvious.

"Neither of us are that great at talking," Bucky admitted, glancing across the street and around them as a matter of habit.

"Pretty sure talking's kind of an important part of a relationship," Steve said with a slight smile. "At least that's what they say on all the daytime talk shows. 'Communication'."

Bucky gave him a sidelong look. "You watch that trash?"

"Not... regularly," Steve shrugged. "Anyway. You'll just have to push through it. And now might be a good time to tell her how you feel."

Bucky kept his eyes to the ground this time as he muttered, "Now you sound like that quack."

"Who you keep seeing even though you think he's a quack."

"Because that's what he is," Bucky shrugged.

"So what did he say?"

Rolling his eyes slightly, Bucky answered, "That communication is the most important part of a relationship."

Steve laughed. "See? I told you."

"But if she didn't mean to say it and then I say it, it could really... I don't know. Make things weird."

"That's not really something a person doesn't mean to say," Steve theorized. "I mean, even if you don't mean to say it but you say it, you're still doing it for a reason. I wouldn't accidentally tell Tony Stark that I love him, for example."

"But still, if she wasn't ready to," Bucky sighed, "I just don't want to mess anything up."

"Well, the longer you wait to deal with it, the worse you're both gonna make it," Steve replied. "So if I were you, I'd talk it out as soon as we get back."

There was silence for a few minutes, and then Bucky said, "Taking advice from you about girls is never gonna feel right."

"I know, but trust me, I'm enjoying it."

Bucky rolled his eyes, and silently, they kept walking. There weren't many folks out tonight, and the streets passing by were starting to feel a bit more familiar than the others. A few times, he looked up and expected to see a small theater or a shop or some other establishment, only to see something else. He wasn't sure if he was remembering wrong or if it was just how the landscape had changed in the last seven decades.

"You sure you want to do this?" Steve asked, breaking the silence. "We could still go back."

Bucky shook his head. "No. I want to."

"All right."

After a few more moments, they walked past a few more familiar places, one of which Bucky recognized as a church that hadn't changed in the slightest since his younger days. Street lights and lights in the windows of open shops and other buildings lit up the street, and though the area had gotten rougher and dingier than he remembered it, for the first time, walking these streets made him feel like he really was somewhere that he knew. It wasn't home - not anymore - but he knew that it had once been, and it finally felt that way.

When they reached the point of their trip across town into Brooklyn, which was a small gated field somewhat near another church that Bucky recognized, he did feel a last-minute sense of hesitation come over him. It was as they rounded a sidewalk and Steve reached to pull open the gate that he stopped for a moment, doubting that this was going to do any good.

But, he'd been avoiding this place for months now. Whether it helped or not, it seemed like the right time to come, especially now that he was starting to remember more.

Steve glanced at him one more time before pulling open the gate, and with Bucky's initial hesitation having passed, he stepped through the gate and then glanced out at the rows and rows of grave markers that were spread out before him. Somewhere, amidst all the headstones, laid the remains of the family that he could barely remember.

"You've been here before?" Bucky asked when Steve was back at his side, walking slightly ahead of him and seeming to know where he was going.

"Yeah. Not long after they found me, actually."

"Why?" Bucky asked, watching where he stepped as he followed Steve down a path through the middle section of the graves.

"Well, you might not remember it yet, but your parents loved me," Steve replied. "Especially your mom. They helped out a lot after my folks died. And so did you."

Bucky nodded once, still watching his steps and for once not feeling quite so angry at being unable to remember. The last week or two had gone a long way in boosting his hopes that he would, eventually, remember all of the old days. It was why he was here in the first place.

"They're right around here. A little further down, I think..."

Bucky followed Steve silently, until he came to a halt and then shifted to face three almost identical looking gravestones. There was enough light from nearby street lamps for Bucky to just make out the names of his mother, father, and sister on the stones.

He read through the words and dates on each of the markers, realizing something when he reached that of his sister. "So they outlived both of their kids."

Even though in his case, that was technically inaccurate, to his parents, it had been very much true. Steve nodded and said sadly, "Yeah. It's terrible. They were two of the best people I knew."

It wasn't the first time he'd felt a fleeting bite of jealousy towards Steve simply for his ability to remember the history that he couldn't. How much easier it would have been to just crash into the ice and then wake up decades later, rather than barely escape death just to be a puppet on the strings of maniacs.

Although, even if that had been the case, he still would have woken up to these same three gravestones. His family would still be dead, and he would still be here, trying to figure out what to do now that he was alive in a time he'd never been meant for.

"In a way, it's better that they thought you died in the war," Steve said quietly. "If they'd known..." he shook his head. "They didn't need that kind of pain."

As he stared at the gravestones, something occurred to him a few minutes later. "Do I have one of these?"

Steve nodded again. "Not a real grave, of course, but a memorial in D.C.. It's where the rest of the guys were buried. I had one too."

"I guess they can get rid of those now."

"Yeah," Steve said with a slight chuckle. "Couple years later though and mine's still there. Kind of weird. Maybe that's where HYDRA planned on putting me once they were done with me."

"You mean once I killed you."

"Yeah. That."

Then there was silence for a few moments, where Bucky continued to stare at the graves of his family while trying pull at the threads of his memory. He'd had a few glimpses of his mother and sister, and he was pretty sure he'd seen a flash of a man he assumed was his father taking him out on a canoe to teach him to fish, but he hadn't recovered much more. Seeing the graves wasn't helping to tug at those threads, but it did help cement those three people as folks who truly had lived and weren't just figments of imagination that he'd been told about by somebody else. With their names and the days of their lives etched into stone and memorialized, it made them seem all the more real, if only in the abstract sense.

It also solidified the fact that what was left of his family was himself and little else. There were perhaps distant cousins he could try to track down, but that wasn't the point. In reality, all the family that he had was standing next to him, appreciating the memory of his parents and sister better than Bucky himself could.

He could choose to be angry about this, about the lack of a family and the injustice of what had been done to him by his captors, and he was. He didn't anticipate ever not being angry. But he could also be appreciative and thankful of having Steve, who had somehow managed to survive it all - and him - to still be standing next to him and giving him help that he didn't deserve.

Steve didn't have a family either. Or a home. They were in the same boat, Bucky suddenly realized on a level that he had not before. It seemed to be a bit of a lopsided boat, though - like Bucky's end had sprung a leak (or many) that had Steve working constantly to keep the water from filling the whole thing. He didn't feel like he was pulling his own weight very well, if at all. In fact, he was rather useless.

But that didn't seem to matter much to Steve, who gave his shoulder a pat as he smiled a bit weakly at him. "Just me and you now."

Bucky thought for a moment on how to respond, and ended up deadpanning, "Sorry."

Steve chuckled, clearly taking it as a joke, and Bucky honestly wasn't sure if it was or not. "You're not so bad. At least after you've had your coffee in the morning."

Steve wasn't the only one who seemed to think so, not that Bucky was any closer to understanding why. But he'd figured out that it was best to not question it. Questioning led to thoughts he didn't want and didn't do anyone any good.

"You'll remember them more one day," Steve said after awhile, confidently. "And it'll be good memories. Except for the time Rebecca drew all over this signed baseball you were extremely proud of."

It wasn't an even vaguely familiar story, but Bucky was curious now. "How did that turn out?"

"You took her favorite doll and set it on fire. She was five."

Bucky raised his eyebrows and gathered, "So I really was a jerk."

"Pretty much."

Nonetheless, he figured, it was better to be a jerk than what he'd once been told he was.

While Bucky and Steve were out doing who knows what at who knows where, Summer was hiding in her room to keep away from a drinking party happening in the living room. She'd walked out with David to get them both leftovers from the day before's dinner to find Natasha, Sam, Tony Stark and the ever-blindingly pretty Thor, along with some brunette lady she didn't recognize, all sitting around playing some kind of drinking game. The problem was, Stark had the foot parts of an Iron Man suit on, and Thor was sending his hammer across the room and then back into his hand like he was playing with a rubber ball, and it was a safe assumption, she thought, that drunken destruction was imminent. Hence, hiding.

But, she couldn't hide forever, and the night was growing later. David would need a drink for bed soon, and that would mean venturing out among the drunk and pretty Avengers once more. Stark had invited her to drink with them, saying she needed it considering who she was - or was not - "boning", but she quickly refused with a line about "not drinking while parenting", and then scuttled out of there before Thor's friendly smile could make scientific history by turning her into a literal cup of Jell-o.

Also, there was something intimidating about being around those particular people without the buffer of Steve or Bucky. Without them, the closest thing she had to a buffer was Natasha, and she was about as anti-buffer as it got. There was Sam, but surprisingly, she had spoken more to Natasha overall than she had to him, which she was pretty sure made no sense, because he was a lot nicer.

But, she had braved worse for her son before. She could handle a few drunk Avengers for the sake of getting him some chocolate milk.

After putting it off as long as possible, she took a break from overthinking and dreading Bucky's upcoming arrival, whenever that would be, to slip quietly out into the hallway and quickly make her way towards the kitchen. She heard a lot of laughter ahead and the sound of glasses clinking, but nothing had blown up yet, so that was good.

She managed to step out of the hallway and into the kitchen without gaining the attention of anyone, and trying to be fast and silent about it, she grabbed a cup from a cabinet and then headed to the pantry to look for the chocolate milk mix.

Meanwhile, Tony Stark was impressively, hilariously, drunk.

"No, no, no, no, no, I'm not - no, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that, if I had to pick a dude to bang -"

"Anthony, no!" Thor bellowed in protest. "I do not want to know!"

"What? Whoa, wait a minute, you did not just call me Anthony -"

Summer could hear the eye-roll in Natasha's tone as she failed to find the drink mix where she'd last left it. "Calm down, Anthony."

"Ohhh, okay, sure thing, Miss Natalia Alley Way Supernova Roman's-A-Jerkoff."

Even Summer paused her desperate search upon hearing that one.

"Could you say that again?" Sam asked.

"Original," Natasha deadpanned.

"I am confused," Thor announced.

"Don't be," Natasha replied. "If anyone's confused about my name, just put your ear to Steve's door at night and you'll hear it more than you ever wanted to."

Upon the resulting chorus of "Ohhhh!"s that her comment wrought, Summer hid a burst of laughter and made a mental note to never put her ear to Steve's door, ever. Also, the chocolate milk mix had disappeared into a cosmic black hole. She dropped down into a kneeling position in front of the pantry to search the bottom shelf, just in case.

"All right, I need a drink after that one," Stark muttered, and Summer heard what sounded like some kind of electrical burst followed by Sam's startled cry of "Don't drink and fly, man!"

She realized her poor positioning all too late. The pantry was quite close to the liquor cabinet, which was where the very drunk Tony was flying - poorly - to, with only the help of what was maybe an eighth of a suit. In any case, when she heard the propulsion sounds right over her head, she looked up to see the tower's owner hovering casually and a bit shakily near said liquor cabinet, unaware of her presence. She watched as he grabbed a bottle of something, fought with the lid, and then almost fell over as he took a long drink of it before jerking around to head back to the living room. Unfortunately, the sharp turn made some of the liquor splash out of the bottle and land directly on top of Summer's head, which made her squeal, which in turn made him notice her.

"Summer!" He slurred upon noticing her now sitting on the floor, patting her now-wet hair. "Come to join us yet?"

She looked up at him incredulously, not even sure of what sort of liquor she'd gotten a small shower with, and replied, "Uh, no."

"Your loss. Cheers," he said, raising the bottle in a mock-toast, but he did it too hard, and she got another shower, which soaked her hair some more. Then he flew off, crashed into the island and broke off a piece of it, laughed hysterically, and then somehow ended up back on the couch.

Standing up and grimacing at the state and smell of her hair, Summer growled a little and then decided David would be getting plain milk tonight just as she looked up and realized that the mix had been sitting at the front of the top shelf, staring at her, the entire time. Of course.

"Anyway, so back to what I was saying - if I had to either pick a dude to bang or get a bullet to the head, I would totally pick -"

Summer never got to find out the answer to that, because she had finally returned to her room with the elusive chocolate milk and a head that smelled like whiskey. Once the lights were off and David was settled in bed - after taking a sniff of her and acting like he'd never smelled anything so vile in all his five years - she headed to the bathroom to take a shower so that she could have "the talk" with Bucky without looking like she'd fallen headfirst into the world's biggest shot glass.

Luck was not on her side, however, nor even on her side of the universe, apparently, because when she went to turn on the shower, the knob fell off of the wall and sat uselessly in her hand. She'd thought that it felt weirdly loose the last few times that she'd used it, but she'd figured it was nothing. And now she didn't have a shower until it could be fixed.

Perfect.

Back in her bedroom, she sat and weighed her options while David fell asleep. She could try to wash her hair in the sink, but that would be miserable given how long her hair had gotten in the last year. She could ask one of the drunk Avengers if she could borrow their bathroom for a few minutes. Or she could go use Bucky's shower without having to talk to anyone or embarrass herself further.

The choice was clear. Deciding to get it over with as quickly as possible lest he came home to find her in his shower and make her have to explain while inwardly panicking at a whole new level about the "talk", she grabbed the needed supplies from her bathroom and then dashed quietly to his room.

It took about three washes of her hair to get the scent of alcohol out of it, but she eventually managed to make it work while mentally rushing herself to hurry up and get out of there. Once she was done, she flipped the water off and then jumped out of the shower, quickly realizing that she had forgotten to bring a change of clothes with her, which was just typical. Rolling her eyes at herself, she threw a towel on and then made her way to the sink, where she cleared out a circle on the mirror and then started rummaging around for something to brush her hair with.

In the process, she knocked over a toothbrush holder that sat on the counter, and the resulting louder-than-expected sound made her cringe before she set the thing back upright and resumed her quest for a comb. But, once she located the comb, she didn't get a chance to use it, because the door flew open and she was pinned to the wall by a metal arm against her throat before she could so much as choke out a "holy crap".

She did manage a half-scream, though, and after colliding with the wall hard enough to cause a burst of real pain in the back of her head, her eyes opened and she watched realization dawn on the previously hardened, determined face of her attacker.

"Summer?"

His arm quickly eased off of her neck and she pushed him away a little more harshly than she meant to, but given the circumstances, she was pretty sure he deserved it. "What the hell, Bucky?!"

He took a step back, confusion coloring his blue eyes as he looked her over - wet and wearing just a towel, which had managed to remain wrapped around her despite the jostling he'd just given her - and several questions tried to fly out of his mouth at once. "Why are you in here?"

"My shower broke," she replied, hand rubbing gently over the part of her neck where his arm had been. He noticed how she quickly looked him over, how his shirt was fully unbuttoned due to how he'd been in the process of changing before he'd heard a crash in his bathroom and immediately assumed whoever was in there had been sent to kill him.

Old habits died hard, he supposed.

"I'm sorry," he said, blinking and stepping closer to touch her neck apologetically and make sure he hadn't truly hurt her. "Did I hurt you?"

"... No," she shook her head, though her tone left him unconvinced. "I'm fine, but... remind me to never try to surprise you in the future."

"Is that what you were doing?"

"No, actually, I was just trying to get the whiskey out of my hair."

He furrowed his brows. "Whiskey?"

She rolled her eyes. "Long story... Tony Stark."

Oddly enough, that actually was a sufficient explanation.

"Where have you been all night?" she asked, fiddling somewhat nervously with where the towel was tucked in just above her chest.

"Cemetery," he replied, causing her brow to shoot up just slightly, probably at the mental image of him prowling around graves in the dark of night. "My family."

"Oh," she said, expression growing quickly more somber. "I'm sorry. How did that go?"

He shrugged. "It was okay."

She nodded again, and suddenly, he remembered what he'd planned on doing with this portion of the night - talking to her about last night's "incident". He got the feeling that she had just remembered as well, because she grew visibly more nervous and started fidgeting with her fingers before muttering, "Uh, well, I forgot to bring new clothes with me, so I'll just... go..."

She glanced again at his open shirt and chest underneath before moving off of the wall and creeping past him, out of the bathroom, but he wasn't ready for her to go yet, and it wasn't just because he saw no logical reason for her to be any more dressed than she was at the current moment. He'd spent the whole trip back to the tower working up his nerve, and if she left now, even for a few minutes, he feared he'd lose it and have to start all over again.

"Summer," he said, following her out of the bathroom and quickly catching up with her to gently grab her arm. "Wait."

She stopped and turned around, and he knew that she was thinking about the same thing that he was by the way that she looked at him a bit uneasily.

He wasn't sure what to say or how to start, but after a few seconds, he asked a question that he already knew the answer to. "Why've you been avoiding me all day?"

Her face flushed and fell at the same moment, and he let go of her arm as she anxiously scratched at the back of her head. "I haven't been, I've just been... busy... today. And you were gone when I got off work."

Her hand was unnecessarily holding on to the towel at the corner on her chest, clutching it tighter the more nervous she got. He gave her a look and said, "Summer..."

"Okay fine," she sighed heavily, raising her free arm and then dropping it. "I've been freaking out. Look, you already know I'm not exactly good with these kinds of talks, especially when I've had all last night and today to overthink it and freak out even more."

And now his anxiety began creeping up to levels that rivaled hers. Whatever came tumbling awkwardly out of her mouth within the next few moments would tell him the truth, if she'd meant what she said or not, and all he could do was stare at her and wait while his heart started pounding.

"I mean, like, give me a piece of paper and a pen and I'm good, but then my verbal skills are like... I'm about as good at that as you are at cooking. Take right now, for instance - listen to me, I sound like a freaking..."

"Summer."

"Right." She took a deep breath and then sighed it out, smoothing her wet hair away from her face and muttering, "You probably think I'm a total freak. About last night - I honestly did not mean to do that, and I didn't even know that I said it until after I went to bed."

And just like that, his hopes that he hadn't even realized had been built up crashed down spectacularly, and his shock at how disappointed he was nearly took his breath away. He started nodding, jaw clenching without his permission, and he couldn't quite bring himself to look her in the eye.

"But you know me and how I just... blurt things out, because I'm weird, and... Bucky?"

He looked up at her then, still nodding though only slightly, and he muttered, "So you didn't mean it."

And then he watched it dawn on her how disappointed he was that that was the case. Her eyes went from confused to understanding to horrified in a matter of seconds.

He just wanted to forget this had ever happened and go sit alone somewhere for awhile.

"No!" she finally said, the horror on her face equally evident in her tone. "Oh my gosh, no, that's not what I meant!"

But he was already turning around, though he wasn't sure where he planned on going. Then it was her turn to grab his arm and stop him.

"Bucky, wait," she insisted, and he let her turn him around. "Let me explain."

He didn't particularly want to, but he gave in anyway and waited for her to start talking. She let go of his arm and went back to clutching the corner of the towel as she started searching for the right words.

"I didn't mean to say it, but that doesn't mean I didn't mean it. What I was trying to say was, I didn't mean to say it for the first time in such a... random and weird way."

He stared at her, searching her features for any indications that she was trying to placate him or simply tell him what he wanted to hear. But to his surprise, he couldn't find any such tells. All he saw, to his shock, was... sincerity.

"Because it's kind of a big deal, you know, and not something you usually... blurt out like you're talking about the weather or something," she added, tone growing quieter as she looked down and away from his eyes.

"So... you meant it," he said, face and voice the picture of sobriety and seriousness. His finger tipped up her chin to make her look at him as he waited for her answer.

"Yes," she finally said. And the way that she said that word, even he couldn't find a way to poke any holes of doubt within it.

"You love me," he said, looking for one last bit of confirmation.

"I love you," she nodded, a small smile on her lips as she said the words, and the last of his doubts vanished.

He closed his eyes for a fraction of a second under the sheer relief of those words, and when he opened them and saw the way that she was smiling at him, he couldn't help but smile back, even more broadly that she was. He couldn't remember the last time he'd smiled like that, and it felt a little odd, but a much more overwhelming and important feeling made it also feel right.

There was nothing in his memories to match what he felt, nothing that truly measured up or could compete, and there was no denying it or questioning it. He didn't deserve her, but he had her, and somehow, she loved him - really loved him - and what else could he do but smile?

Her eyes softened as she watched him, but he saw a lingering bit of anxiety there too, which he suspected would not leave until he'd spoken the words himself.

First, though, he had to kiss her.

It was official: his smile was the best thing on the planet.

After he stopped her heart with that almost youthful, possibly even joyous smile of his, he stopped it again with a fast but deep kiss that left her head spinning. Suddenly, she couldn't believe how silly she'd been for dreading this moment and losing sleep over it when it had turned out absolutely perfect.

And now that she had said the words to him out loud, it was even harder to believe that she'd doubted for a minute if she really did love him. Experienced in love or not, it didn't matter - she knew it now, on a level that surpassed her tendency to doubt and think too much.

When he broke away from the kiss, she looked up at him a little dazed, nearly spellbound by how happy he looked. The idea that she was the cause of it made her heart feel like it was about to burst.

And then, she opened her mouth and lived up to her tradition of ruining the moment.

"You don't have to say it back," she quickly assured him, her face still cradled in his hands while hers were clutching the collar of his shirt. "No pressure. Especially after you just remembered the girl you were with before, I understand if -"

"Summer," he interrupted with a quirk of his lips, but she kept right on going.

"I mean, because she was like, whoa, you know, and the last thing that I want is for you to think that -"

"Summer," he said a little more firmly, physically making her stop talking and look him straight in the eye. "I need to explain something to you."

Unsure of what he was about to say, she kept her mouth clamped shut and waited on pins and needles for him to elaborate.

"The thing is," he began softly, looking down for a moment, "there was a lot I didn't know before I remembered her. And once I did, then I knew." Then he raised his eyes back to hers, with a sudden intensity that made her heart stop. "I did love her. And I still do, I always will. But I was never in love her the way that I'm in love with you."

She stared at him in shock, the words taking a moment to sink and become real. Once they did, she was pretty sure that she'd lost all ability to breathe or think, especially under the weight of his stare, and the result was her opening and closing her mouth a few times before choking out, "Really?"

"I love you," he said, backing her up without taking his eyes off of her.

She could do little more than gape at him like a fish, barely noticing where he was moving her until her back hit the wall next to his dresser. "Really?" she asked again, suddenly pinned in place and momentarily forgetful of her nearly-naked state.

He brought his lips within a breath of hers, just shy of touching, and murmured, "Yes."

She was still too stunned to smile the way that he had, utterly overwhelmed by her own confession and his completely unexpected one that followed. And for him to say that he somehow loved her more than that statuesque beauty from his past... was she dreaming?

"No," she heard him chuckle against her lips, and she realized she'd asked that question out loud. And she was too happy to be embarrassed.

His chuckle inspired a little one of her own, and her hands left his collar to run up his neck before her fingers slid into his hair. His hands were on her hips and he was still keeping his lips just from meeting hers, and for a moment, it was enough just to be that close and revel a little bit in the milestone they'd just reached.

And it was no small feat, she knew, for either of them. Suddenly, it seemed like if they had gotten this far, they could go absolutely anywhere.

And maybe that meant that it was finally time to jump one other particular hurdle, while they had momentum on their side.

She pulled him close, erasing the last inch between them as she pressed her lips to his, somewhat desperately and entirely determinedly. He met her fever and multiplied it, pushing her harder to the wall as his hands suddenly curled around her hips and then picked her up, forcing her legs to curl around his waist as she held on tight with her arms around his neck.

It felt different, less timid, more... honest, somehow, with a level of intimacy that made the idea of just leaving it at a couple of kisses and maybe just a little bit more seem utterly unthinkable. Not after all they'd been through, and not after the progress they'd just made; no, something more was needed, and she was ready to overcome the obstacles that had thus far kept them from reaching that point.

After her hands pushed the shirt off of his back and to the floor, she broke away just long enough to breathe out his name and get his attention. He looked at her with a heat in his eyes that told her he was already on the same page as she was, but she had to say the words and make sure.

"I... I don't think I can wait anymore," she admitted, still in a whisper. "I don't want to wait anymore. I trust you and I... need you."

Though it hardly seemed possible, his gaze became even more heated even as he cautiously and quietly asked, "Are you sure?"

She nodded furiously. "Yes. I'm sure. I know you won't hurt me." When he looked a bit wary - desperate to say yes, but still wary - she tightened her grip on his hair and kissed him once more before pleading, "Bucky, please."

She watched his lips part and body shudder at those words before he gave in with a kiss to put all others to shame, and then she was in his arms as he turned them around and carried her towards his bed. He stopped just when they reached it, setting her down to stand in front of the foot of the bed and tearing his lips away from hers as he looked her over, breathing heavily. That was the moment she started to get nervous again.

She suddenly remembered that she was in just a towel, and that meant going from zero to naked in record time. And even though it wouldn't be the first time he'd seen certain parts of her, it would be the first time he'd be seeing it all together, without a stitch of anything still on her body. And that made it feel significantly different.

But, this was a part of what she'd just sworn to him that she was ready for, and she willed herself to be brave and stop letting nagging fears or pointless insecurities steal the joy of the moment.

And so, she reached up and kissed him, distracting him while one of her hands went between them and untucked the towel, letting it drop over both of their feet. She felt him freeze a little when it did, and he pulled away slowly, looking at her eyes before letting his gaze fall lower. He did it slowly, like he wanted to take his time making this particular new memory, and when he leaned away a few inches for a better look, she almost lost her nerve. But it was impossible to regret her actions when he was staring at her with his mouth open just enough for her to tell how much he appreciated the sight before him, and just like that, her nerve was back and firmly within her grasp.

Her hand going to his belt awoke him out of his stupor, and his eyes snapped back to hers just before he kissed her again, hungrily, while helping her to undress him the rest of the way. It didn't take long, and then it was her turn to feast her eyes, which she did, without an ounce of shame. It was her first time seeing him in all of his... entirety as well, and if there was ever such a thing as perfection, surely it was him. And how the hell did she get lucky enough to end up with him?

She didn't stare quite as long as he did with her, but from the scars of his left shoulder to the defined muscles of his chest and abdomen, down to another equally impressive part of him that she itched to touch, she took it all in and felt her blood all but boil with the realization that tonight, she really was gonna get to finally have all of him.

She almost expected him to tackle her to the bed in a passionate fury, but instead, she felt his hand take hers and his metal arm wrap around her middle as he gently laid her down on the bed. He kissed her as they moved, more slowly than he had before, and when her head hit his pillow, she opened her eyes to look up at him and grin slightly as he did the same. He eased her legs apart so he could lay between them, and she could have moaned just from the feeling of being so close to him, with nothing in the way, both literally and figuratively.

All of his movements picked up speed as he ran kisses from her mouth to her jaw to her neck, and his hands became more exploratory as she tried to do the same with hers, wanting to know what he liked and what would make him shudder against her. She didn't yet know nearly as much as she wanted to, but knowing that she would now be able to learn everything about him and what he liked, over time, almost made her giggle with anticipation. Or maybe it was his excitement for her making its presence very well known against her that was making her want to giggle.

His kisses were growing more desperate and his touches less teasing and more needy by the time that she fully trusted her own readiness - not that she hadn't been ready since he'd first pushed her against the wall, but that was beside the point. She drew him back to her lips and kissed him soundly, one hand slipping into his hair while the other made a pathway down his back. He was trying to hold himself back but she didn't want him to, so she wrapped her legs around his hips and broke the kiss, looking up at him in a way she hoped he'd understand.

His eyes were dilated with a sort of desire she'd never seen before as he shifted them slightly, bringing them so close that all it would take was a slight push to join them, and as she faced the finality of the moment, one last wave of anxiety crashed through her veins.

This would be her real first time, her first time with a man that had been her own choice, and as wholly and completely as she wanted it, she couldn't help but stop and let that last stubborn bit of doubt fly to the forefront of her mind. It must have shown on her face, too, because she felt fingertips gently tip up her chin, and then she was looking up at Bucky as he said sincerely, "I won't hurt you, I promise."

"I know," she quickly replied, trying to push the anxiety away, down into the past where it belonged. "And I trust you, but I'm just..."

"Scared," he said for her before laying a sweet kiss on her lips. "Don't be."

She nodded, closing her eyes as he kissed her again. Then, she murmured quietly, "Can you say it one more time?"

He didn't need to ask to know what she was asking for. He drew away slightly, eyes softer but still on fire as he said, "I love you."

Then she kissed him, and she felt him shudder again when she said the words back to him. Those words and what they meant, especially coming from him, chased away the doubts, and as one last show of how much she trusted him, she ran her hand down his metal arm, from his shoulder to where the palm of his hand was planted on the bed next to her head, and she slid her own palm beneath his and entwined her warm fingers with his cold ones. She watched his eyes flicker to their hands, and something flashed within them that she now finally could recognize for what it was. It was love, and his continuing astonishment at her unwavering acceptance of even the parts of himself that he hated.

Then he was looking in her eyes again, and a second later, kissing her as the moment finally came. Knowing what was about to happen, she tensed a bit, though she didn't mean to, and she held her breath, which she wasn't even aware of. He was aware however, and his forehead pressed against hers as he whispered, "Relax. Keep your eyes on me. Keep breathing."

And though she did as he said, to the best of her ability, she still tensed at the last minute, anticipating at least some of the pain that her memories contained.

But the pain never came. Instead, something much better came in its place, the opposite of pain, and with eyes that she kept fixed on him until she couldn't hold them open anymore, she watched as his own eyes rolled shut and mouth fell open with a shuddering gasp that became a heart-stopping moan by the time it reached her ears. He was utterly beautiful in that moment, and when his gaze met hers again, her hand's grip within his tightened, and for the first time, she was finally able to give herself to him in every way that she'd wanted to for what had felt like an eternity.

It was absolutely worth waiting for. Even if it was over in just under two minutes.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Lying on his back, breathing deeply and feeling like seven decades' worth of tension had just fallen from his shoulders - because it had - Bucky found himself falling into a mental pit of self-ridicule and humiliation, despite the fact that he was fairly sure that he'd never felt better in his long, strange life.

But Summer couldn't say the same, he thought, because he was stupid and apparently needed to relearn the art of pacing oneself.

It had been perfect. She had been perfect. Everything had been absolutely perfect, until he ruined it. He wasn't sure if he'd even made it a full minute. All of that buildup, all of the emotions and the love that had made it as amazing as it was, and yet here they were, one of them unsatisfied while the other - him - wanted to sink into the floor and disappear.

He was afraid to even look at her.

She was lying next to him, her head on his chest, and he had an arm thrown over his eyes to keep from seeing the disappointment that he was sure was on her face. Maybe if he just waited a few minutes, he could gather himself and then try again, properly this time, and make up for the dismal first time.

But Summer had other ideas, apparently. He heard her chuckle as she raised her head and ran her hand up his chest. "Hey, you in there?"

Maybe if he just acted like he couldn't hear her...

"Bucky..." she called out lightly, crawling up a bit and then pulling his arm away from his face. He reluctantly allowed his gaze to meet hers, and he was shocked to see a big silly grin on her face. "... You okay?"

"I'm sorry," he said before he could stop himself. "You didn't... I'm sorry."

Realization dawned on her face, and she only smiled more broadly as she pressed a kiss to his lips and then said, "Don't you dare be sorry. That was your first time in forever. You're allowed to... get a little carried away."

He appreciated her understanding, but he still wanted to slam his head into a wall. "You deserved better," he said quietly, his fingertips tracing her jaw.

She gave him a look and then assured him, "It was perfect. And I mean that. I'm not just saying it. You have no idea. Going from the only thing I ever knew to that... it was incredible."

He couldn't not believe her, despite his best efforts to. "And I didn't... hurt you?"

She shook her head. "Not at all."

He brushed her still-damp hair behind her ear and let out a soft breath as he stared at her, deciding to accept that everything was okay and that he could stop beating himself up. He would, however, make up for his trigger-happiness, and extensively, if it was the last thing he did.

"I can't believe it finally happened," she grinned, shifting a bit towards his side and propping her head up on one hand while the other continued its aimless quest along he chest. "Like... wow. It finally happened."

Her grin was contagious. He glanced down and noticed with some disappointment that she'd tugged a sheet up and over herself, which was something he immediately decided to remedy as he moved closer to her, pulling the sheet away with two fingers

"I'm not done with you," he said, pulling her against him and kissing her with the ferocity of his resolve to make up for his initial underperformance. She shivered a little, though she didn't hesitate to mold her body to his and let her leg slip over his hip and wrap around it, and the feeling of her, all of her, pressed to him again as her tongue danced with his was enough to set him alight once more.

Feeling this, she broke away and smiled a bit shyly as she asked, "Is this part of the... super stamina thing?"

Looking down briefly at the sight before him, of her limbs tangled with his and the flush of her cheeks along with the lush, tempting perfection of everything in between, he looked back to her and felt a grin tug at his lips as he replied, "We'll find out."

She returned his grin, though it only lasted a moment before faint moans replaced her chuckles and open-mouthed gasps replaced her smile. He had a lot to make up for and all night to spend learning her and what made her fall apart, and he wasn't going to waste a moment of it.

It was a long night. But, like the long, frustrating wait for it, the lack of sleep was utterly worth it.

A/N: Soooo... if I could go ahead and take this moment to point out that it took a combined total of 26 chapters to get this particular couple to, erm, do it. Yeah, yeah, I know, so what, right? But for someone whose previous stories almost always began with right-off-the-bat banging and then actual feelings later, it has been GREAT to write the total opposite. Like seriously. The waiting was so much fun that I fell into a brief writing funk once I wrote this because I was sad that that tension wouldn't be there anymore. I still miss it, actually. But anyway, hopefully none of you lovely readers will mind the change :p (judging by the reviews, I doubt many of you will lol). Anywho, my usual thanks and love to all of the readers & reviewers & followers, I know I get repetitive here but I really do love you guys insanely and look forward to all of your feedback, regardless of what it is. I'm updating a day or two early because I'm going to be AWOL (at least from the ability to post chapters here lol) for the next few days, but next week's update will probably be on Sunday or Monday. Love to you all, and see you then :D