Go Baby Grow

Chapter 22 – I Wanna Be Home

Friday, May 15th

Ryder knocked on the Caldwell's front door and waited for an answer. When Julie came to the door, she looked thin and drained. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt that likely belonged to her brother Sam and yoga pants. Her hair was thrown up loosely on the top of her head, teetering precariously.

Softly, she forced a small smile and said hello. Ryder took one step inside, then paused and hugged his friend. "What's been going on, JJ?"

"Come on in and sit down," she invited. "Water? Soda?"

"Water would be great," Ryder responded as he walked toward a side window and pulled the curtains back. Sun rays streamed into the room, lightening up the usually darkened space.

"By the way, Dad's here. He's on the porch," Julie explained as she handed Ryder a glass of water.

Ryder was sitting on the sofa and Julie chose to sit in an arm chair. She leaned her back against the arm and threw a blanket over herself. "Are you cold?" she asked him.

"No, I'm good," he said as he shook his head. "It's warm outside, JJ. Maybe we could go for a walk."

"No thanks," she responded with a sullen tone as she studied the water in her glass.

The silence was deafening for Ryder. He shifted positions and glanced up at Julie with concern. "You said you've had a hard week…" he began.

"Last Sunday, when we did the paperwork, I fell apart," she disclosed.

"You seemed fine to me. I was the one being a hothead," Ryder admitted. "I was pissed about that passport deal."

"I know," she acknowledged. "How are you doing with that?"

"I needed time for it to sink in. I'm still bummed, but I'm over it," Ryder shrugged. Realizing she'd moved the focus off of herself, Ryder attempted to steer it back. "You fell apart, huh? What about?"

Julie leaned her head against the back of the chair. She appeared deflated, like a balloon without enough air to sustain itself. "Something triggered me. I thought that after all these years, I'd gotten over my mom's death. Out of nowhere, grief knocked me down and tossed me on my ass. Your mom was so supportive. She's amazing."

"She's a keeper, for sure," Ryder smiled. "She's been through some crappy times, too."

"She told me about her dad," Julie shared. "We cried together. That was the first time ever that I totally surrendered to grief. I feel like I'm still recovering."

"Sounds like you are," Ryder affirmed. "That's ok."

With a shrug, Julie stated, "I've never been able to fall apart like that about my mom. Never. It was such a release and also so painful."

"I get that," Ryder nodded. "I have those times now and then. Usually, it's about my mom. One morning she was there – bubbly, laughing, shuttling us to school. That afternoon, she was dead and our whole world changed. Hell… even our citizenship changed." After a brief silence, Ryder added, "Grief doesn't slam me down too much anymore. Every now and then, it'll appear out of nowhere. Sometimes, I'll really miss my dad. I'll try to search out just one tiny memory of him, but all I see are the pictures I've seen of him. All I remember are the stories others have told me."

"It's a lonely, isolated place, isn't it?" Julie sighed.

"It can be, if you don't reach out," Ryder smirked. "Nolan has been a rock. He has more memories, plus he's so flippin' wise. I'm not sure how my life would be if he wasn't around… And you've got me, if you ever need to talk or cry. Don't forget that."

"I know," she smiled. "You've got your own crap going on. I needed to crawl into a cave for a few days and hide from the world. I'm standing at the edge of it now. I'm emerging little by little."

"Julia?" Adam called from the kitchen. He heard voices but didn't know who was visiting.

"Excuse me," Julie offered as she sat up and walked to the kitchen.

"If you're sick, you're sick," Adam declared flatly. "Who's here?"

"Ryder," she told him. "And I'm feeling better. Still a little tired, not 100%, but I'm on the mend."

"I'll come say hello in a minute," Adam smirked, worried about his daughter. He knew she was healthy and could easily bounce back from a virus, but the apparent emotional emptiness was troubling.

"He wondered who was here," Julie explained as she sat back down. "I'm sorry I'm such a downer."

"Knock that off," Ryder scoffed. "You don't have to impress or entertain me."

"True," Julie chuckled. "Wanna work on our rates?" she asked, referring to the memorization they were expected to have down on I-Day.

"No," Ryder laughed. "I'd rather live in denial and pretend we don't have to do that."

"You'll be sorry," she warned.

"Fine," Ryder huffed playfully. "I'll give you a really tough one. Commander in Chief."

Julie laughed and threw a pillow at him. "The President. Give me something tougher."

"Second General Order of a Sentry," Ryder challenged.

"To walk my post in a military manner, always keeping alert and observing everything that takes place within sight and hearing," Julie spouted.

With an obvious tease but in a drill sergeant tone, Adam approached the Living Room and called out, "Try that again!"

"Why?" Julie inquired, looking defeated.

"You do know you don't get to ask why at the Academy, right, JJ?" Ryder teased.

"Stop it, Ry. Why Dad? I had it down," Julie grieved.

"Nope. Listen carefully," Adam instructed. "To walk my post in a military manner, keeping always alert and observing everything that takes place within sight or hearing," he bellowed at the top of his lungs.

"Seriously? Two words flipped around and using 'and' instead of 'or'?" Julie pushed.

With a stern expression, Adam offered, "Imagine you're programming the coordinates for a missile and you mix up two key words and throw in an 'and' in place of 'or'. Do you suppose that missile will be headed where it's intended to go?"

"Argh," Julie sighed. "Come back to that one in a minute, Ry. Give me another one."

"Here, you both respond and I'll throw out the challenges," Adam offered, loving every minute of what he saw as a deep bonding experience. "Mission of the Naval Academy. Go!"

"To develop Midshipmen morally, mentally and physically and to…" they both called out until Ryder choked.

Ry whined, "Crap. What's that next word? It's something weird. I can't ever remember it."

"Imbue," Julie and Adam called out simultaneously.

"Start over," Adam challenged.

Julie and Ryder recited, "To develop Midshipmen morally, mentally and physically and to imbue them with the highest ideals of duty, honor, and loyalty…" Stumbling through the remaining sentences, they made their way to the end.

"Get every single word down in exact order. You're both getting there. Keep at it," Adam encouraged. As he stepped away, he called out, "Julia – second General Order of a Sentry."

"To walk my post in a military manner, keeping always alert and observing everything that takes place within sight or hearing," she correctly recited.

"Again!" Adam called from the far side of the kitchen. "That's how you'll ingrain it."

She repeated it and Ryder responded, "Now recite it backwards."

"Screw you," she laughed.

As he returned to the room with a full glass of water, he pointed out, "If they ask you to do something like that and you take it literally, the Detailers will usually crack up. I've never heard of someone being ordered to recite something backwards, but just turn 180 degrees if they do. It at least shows effort and a sense of humor."

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Saturday, May 16th

At 5:00am, after nearly a full night in the hospital, Arizona stopped by and signed discharge papers for Amelia. Owen, who had called Nolan and asked him to sleep at the Lake House, was cuddled up with his wife and they were both asleep.

Even though Owen was wearing scrubs as he slept, Arizona still felt awkward waking him up. She cleared her throat while pretending to review the chart. When she received no response, she cleared her throat more loudly.

Amelia opened her eyes and questioned, "Do you have a cold?"

"No," she grimaced. "I didn't want to wake up Owen."

"Why?" Amelia yawned.

"I dunno. He's my boss," she reasoned.

"Owen… wake up," Amelia stated plainly as she nudged him. Opening one eye, he smiled and stretched. Amelia added, "Arizona's here. She's setting me free."

Sliding out of the bed, Owen smirked. "Great. Great news." He walked toward Robbins to peek at the chart and nodded as he read. "Everything looks in order."

"I want you to take it easy for a week. Err on the side of bedrest, but feel free to eat dinner with your family and take short walks outside. Let's meet next Friday at 2pm and I'll take a look," she described.

"Thanks, Arizona," Amelia smiled.

"Were you able to determine why she lost consciousness?" Owen inquired in full doctor mode.

"No," Arizona shook her head. "My hunch is that her BP was down. With the fall and not having eaten, a brief fainting spell isn't unheard of."

"Not eating? Mia," Owen admonished lightly.

"Yeah, yeah, let's go home," Amelia responded indifferently.

Owen and Amelia drove home and he offered to carry her upstairs. When she declined, Owen accompanied her closely. Nolan, used to being woken up by babies, heard their footsteps and whispering and hopped out of bed. Amelia was already in bed by the time Nolan caught Owen in the hallway.

Nolan asked Owen, "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," Owen nodded with pursed lips. "She took a tumble. Baby's safe. She's stable. Thanks for coming over."

"Happy to help. Livs had everyone in bed when I arrived. She did a great job with them tonight," Nolan smirked. "I'm going to slide home right now so I'll be there for Lissa when the girls wake up."

Owen hugged Nolan and whispered his thanks.

Stepping back, Nolan empathized. "Pretty scary, huh?"

"Absolutely," Owen agreed sleepily.

"Sometimes I wonder if pregnancy is harder for overprotective husbands than it is for their wives," Nolan ventured.

"I agree," Owen chuckled, "But I wouldn't be the one to throw that out for comment."

"Bingo," Nolan smiled. "We'll see you guys later. Take care, Dad."

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Maggie was soaking in the sun and enjoying a rare Saturday off. With no plans, she threw her hair under a bandana and headed out the door in an oversized button down shirt and jeans. She meandered through a few antique stores and stopped at the ice cream store by the dock where she and Adam had gone on their first date. As she sat peacefully gazing at the water, Maggie thought about how attracted she was to Adam. Then she reminded herself of what she saw as his arrogant political beliefs. As far as she could tell, she and Adam were compatible in most ways. Even so, political incompatibility was a deal breaker for her.

It's not like I'll ever see him again, anyway, Maggie reasoned. After not returning his calls and texts, I think he figured out I was blowing him off… maybe I shouldn't have been so impulsive. This whole man thing is maddening.

From behind, she heard a familiar laugh but couldn't place the person. She listened and realized it was Adam. Quickly peeking over her shoulder, she spotted him talking with another officer. The other officer had been a patient of hers a few months back when she filled in for the military cardiologist who was away. The former patient, Tom Beal, looked great. He'd lost weight, as she'd advised, and had a relaxed glow about him.

Hoping to slip away unnoticed as the two officers chatted, Maggie stood up and headed toward her car. Ten steps in, she heard, "I want you to meet the doctor who took care of me. She's right over there." Adam didn't look over, but was happy to oblige. He remained seated and turned to watch the boats in the water.

Tom approached her and called out loudly enough that ignoring him would be rude, "Dr. Pierce! Dr. Pierce!"

Maggie turned around and acted surprised, "Tom! You look great."

"Come meet my friend. We're taking a break from the office and laughing about old times," Tom urged.

Looking at her watch, Maggie grimaced, "You know… I need to get going. I wish I could."

"Maggie," Adam stated warmly as he appeared before her and extended his hand. When he heard Tom call out Maggie's last name, he turned his head and realized he already knew Tom's doctor.

"Adam," Maggie forced a smirk.

"You two know each other?" Tom exclaimed with surprise. "What a small world."

"Yes, Maggie is related to the mother of one of Julie's friends," Adam attempted to clarify.

"I need a diagram for that one," Tom laughed. "Why don't you just call her your friend, Adam? That's why you're still single after all these years."

With grace, Adam smiled even though he would have preferred to have thrown Tom in the water. He bore his eyes into Maggie's and offered sincerely, "What a pleasure to see you again." Then he mouthed, I miss you.

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