A/N So, it's been a while. I've been having massive writer's block with where to go with this story. This is Chapter 24, so I'm starting to think about where I want it to end, and I'm not sure. I could really use some advice with that. Anyways. All rights to the Divergent characters belong to Veronica Roth!

TOBIAS

Practice last night went really well. Tris was ecstatic when she found out she'd be playing onstage with us tonight. Zeke and I both agreed that she was ready.

I was sitting in the radio booth, waiting for Zeke to arrive for our segment. My phone buzzed in my pocket, the screen glowing. I picked it up. "Zeke, where you at, buddy? Our shift at the radio station starts in five minutes."

"Yeah, about that." Zeke's voice is sheepish. "I'm kind of at the hospital right now."

"What?" I'm on my feet in a flash. "Dude, are you okay? What happened?"

"Uriah and I decided to go mattress riding down our spiral staircase." I roll my eyes. Typical Zeke. "Uriah ended up fine, but I broke my arm on the landing."

"Of course."

"I explained the situation to Eric already, and he's sending in a replacement. You okay with leading the set tonight without me?"

"Yeah, that's fine. Who's the replacement?"

I can practically hear Zeke smirk through the phone. "Don't worry, you'll be fine." With that, the line goes dead.

I hear the door to the radio booth open, and a familiar voice calls out, "Tobias?"

I jump in my seat, turning towards the door. I didn't bother cleaning myself up much for this because I thought it was just going to be Zeke and I around. I begin to regret my lack of care as I run my hands through my hair in an effort to get it to go in the right direction. "H-hey, Tris, Zeke just called me. Are you his replacement?"

"Yep." Tris' eyes wander up to my hair and she stifles a giggle. "Nice do. Trying out the bedhead look?"

"Whatever," I grumble. "I slept in."

"Okay, wait, let me tame this. It's too distracting for me." She takes out a brush from her purse and walks behind me. Soon I can feel the plastic bristles soothingly going through my hair. It feels really nice. "How much time until we're on air?"

"Twee…" I can barely form a cohesive thought. "Two or three minutes."

"Great." She removes the brush from my hair and slides into the desk chair next to me, putting on her headset and adjusting her mic. I find myself thinking about how beautiful her hair is when she leaves it down.

Lately my mind has been wandering to these sorts of things all the time. Even though I've basically spent my whole summer with her, she still manages to catch me off-guard with her natural beauty, gorgeous smile, and amazing personality. She's a real catch, and on top of all that she's got a strong relationship with God. My crush on her is definitely growing.

However it strikes me more and more often that she deserves someone better than me. God knows I'm pretty screwed up, with Marcus and my always shifting mood. She deserves someone who doesn't have so many inner demons and emotional baggage with them.

TRIS

Zeke has been giving me so many reasons to love him lately. First, he let me know that I'd be playing tonight with the rest of the band, and I could barely hold in my excitement. I've been waiting for this moment for the entire summer! I feel bad for Tobias, because on the way back from practice yesterday the car was filled with my high pitched squeals.

Then, today, Zeke broke his arm! I know, I know, I shouldn't be happy about it, but Zeke put me on as his replacement and I can't wait to be on air with Tobias. I've only ever been on air with Christina, and it'll be nice to spend even more time with him. As the summer is coming to a close, I'm really starting to get a grip for my feelings for Tobias. Not only is he sweet, funny, handsome, and caring, but he also has a good foundation with God. And that combination is pretty rare to find.

But I'm not stupid. I've been living in the bubble of security that is summer. Once school starts, I know that he's going to be hit on by beautiful girls, girls who are much prettier than me. Ones that have assets. I know Tobias isn't that kind of guy, but he's still a teenager and he's still susceptible. I've seen the way that some girls look at him even within our youth group, and I can pretty much guarantee that I'll never be more than a friend to Tobias.

I enter the recording booth, and Tobias starts. "Tobias?"

He runs his hands through his messy brown hair, which has grown longer over the summer. I smile as I see that he only manages to make it worse. He scratches the back of his neck. "H-hey, Tris, Zeke just called me. Are you his replacement?"

"Yep." I try to stifle a giggle. "Nice do. Trying out the bedhead look?"

"Whatever," Tobias grunts, color rising in his cheeks. "I slept in." I grin as I look at the tendrils of his hair wildly sticking up in all directions. It's adorable. His hair looks really soft. I wonder what shampoo he uses...does he use conditioner? Do guys use conditioner, anyway? I have no idea.

Snap out of it, Tris.

"Okay, wait, let me tame this. It's too distracting for me." I take out the brush from my purse. I always carry it around, just in case. I walk behind him and try to tame his mane, and I see his shoulders tense and then relax as I finish up. "How much time until we're on air?"

"Twee…" He clears his throat. "Two or three minutes."

"Great." I walk back to my chair and put on my headset. I count down the seconds until the song playing ends and then focus. When I'm on air, it's like when I play piano. I get sucked into this whole other world that takes all of my attention.

"Hey, listeners! That was Good News by Manic Drive. Wondering what a female voice is doing on the radio at this time? Well, Zeke decided to break his arm like the doofus he is, so lucky for you guys I'm here to stand in." I laugh. I'm a completely different person on air, because I don't need to worry about people judging me for my appearance.

"Yeah, we're lucky to have you, Tris." Tobias cuts in from his headset, flashing me a smile. "But the show must go on. As per usual, we're going to have our Q&A session and open it up to you guys for a couple minutes before putting the next song on. So call in, and we'll try to answer all of your questions the best we can!"

A caller comes in, and I patch it into the live feed. "Hey! I have a question for Tris."

"Shoot."

"So this is going to sound really cliche, but I like this girl." He laughs. "Sorry. Um, I think she might like me back, but I'm not sure. She always seems to be dropping subtle hints though."

"Okay, then I think you're good, right? You can tell her that you like her with little to no risk. Seems like a dream come true," I say wistfully. I can only wish my situation was as easily solved as that.

"Oh yeah, I got all that figured out already. But I don't know how. As a girl, how would you want to hear it?"

"That's a good question." I tuck a wayward strand of hair behind my ear and I sense Tobias looking at me intently, like he wants to know the answer himself. If I was him, I would too. I mean, I'm basically giving out girl cheat codes. "Do something that hasn't been done before, and put a lot of effort in it. Believe it or not, we can tell when you decided to stop by CVS and get us a heart teddy bear in a last-ditch effort to be smooth. So don't do that." The caller chuckles and I giggle with him. "Seriously though, all the girl needs to know is that you care and she's not just another 'conquest'. Even if you're not that type of guy, you need to make that clear."

There's silence for a moment before the caller speaks again. "Okay, so, uh, what should I do…?"

I sigh. This is going to be harder than I thought. "You seriously want me to spell it out for you?"

"Yeah," the guy sheepishly replies. I roll my eyes.

"Remember how I talked about putting in effort? Yeah, this is where you come in." With that, I end that call.

Tobias exhales. "Tris, don't you think that was a little harsh?"

"Honestly, no. I feel like these days guys think they can just get the girl delivered to them on a silver platter, but that just shouldn't be how it works. If you're listening, caller, please remember that the most you can give your dream girl is the work that you put in to please her."

"Wow, that's pretty deep," Tobias says, nodding his head approvingly.

"Looks like we have another caller!" I patch the caller in. "Hey, you're on air! What's up?"

"I have a question for Tobias, actually." I recognize the voice immediately. Shauna.

"Sure, go ahead." Tobias doesn't seem to realize that he knows the caller, absentmindedly running his fingers through his hair.

"At the beginning of the summer, you told all the listeners you've got your eye on someone. Have you gotten the girl yet?"

Tobias chuckles nervously as my heart drops to my feet. Christina obviously put Shauna up to this, but I don't understand why. They know I'm crushing on Tobias, and Tobias made it pretty clear that the girl he likes is perfect the last time. In other words, he made it obvious that it wasn't me. What was Christina trying to prove, torturing me like this?

"No, unfortunately not. I can't quite work up the courage to let her know." Tobias scratches the back of his neck, which I've come to learn means that he's uncomfortable.

"Why not?" Shauna asks.

He exhales. "I don't know if she likes me back, and either way she's too good for me. I've been getting to know her a lot this summer, which I'm grateful for, but it's made me realize that she deserves someone better than me."

I feel jealous for whoever this mystery girl is. It almost captures my entire mind; that's how envious I am. But jealousy aside, whoever this girl is is making Tobias less sure of himself, and that's disconcerting to see. "Hey," I softly say.

He looks up at me. "Yeah?'"

"Whoever this girl is?" I smile gently. "She's really lucky to have you."

"Thanks, Tris." He lifts a corner of his mouth as we stare at each other.

It's only when Shauna awkwardly clears her throat that we remember that we're still on air. "Um, thanks for answering my question. I'm going to hang up now."

Tobias jumps. "Yeah, yeah, no problem. Let's keep it going with the next song!" With that, he quickly patches in the next song

As soon as the opening notes start playing, Eric pops his head into the door. His mouth is pressed in a firm line. "Can I see you both outside?"

"Now?" I ask.

"Now."

TOBIAS

That was the most awkward moment of my life. Not only did that caller get me talking out loud about Tris in front of her, but I zoned out on air. No doubt that's what Eric is going to talk to us about.

He leads us into his cramped office and then closes the door behind us. Then he whirls around, a stern look on his face. "What was that?"

I can see Tris step back and sidle closer to me when she sees the expression on his face. But when I glance at her, her face is edged with steely resolve. "What was what?"

"That." He motions towards the booth. "I don't really care whether you guys are dating, but can you please leave it at the front door? It gets really awkward on air."

I blanch. Eric thinks we're dating?

"Whoa, whoa, hold up." Tris puts her hands up in front of her defensively. "We're not dating." I see a blush rise in her cheeks.

"Right, I forgot." Eric rolled his eyes. "He likes you, you like him, but neither of you have the guts to say it to each other."

We both freeze. All I can think about is deny, deny, deny.

"What? You think I like Tris?" I force myself to laugh. "That's crazy. We're just good friends. I would never date her, she's, like...yeah. Nope. Not dating." I don't even know what I'm saying at this point; all I know is that I need to get Eric off my back.

"Yeah." Tris hits me in the arm. Ow. That girl can pack a punch. "Good friends, that's all."

"Okay then…" Eric looks unconvinced. "I'm going to let you off with a warning, since this is your first time hosting together, but don't let it happen again. I'm going to keep songs playing for the rest of your segment, so you guys are done." With that, he ushers us out of his office and slams the door.

I turn towards Tris, who has her head down. "Dude, that punch hurt!" I nudge her and smile. "Leave it to you to take down a guy who's almost a foot taller than you with one punch."

"Thanks." Her voice sounds oddly congested and clipped, and it's only when she turns away that I see the tears on her cheek.

"Wait, Tris, what's wrong?" I reach out and grab her shoulder.

She shakes me off. "Nothing." She plasters a smile on her face, swiping at the trails of water on her face.

"No, tell me what's wrong." I grab her arm and turn her towards me.

"It's not worth it." Her voice is pleading. "Please, Tobias, just let me go, okay?"

I let go of her arm and watch and she hurries out the door.

TRIS

When Eric assumed Tobias and I were dating and stated that we liked each other, a little part of me leapt in excitement. Eric's a bystander, and if he puts us together, then maybe Christina is right- Tobias likes me.

But Tobias' words are playing on repeat in my mind as I slam the door to my car and peel out of the parking lot.

"That's crazy. We're just good friends. I would never date her, she's, like...yeah. Nope. Not dating."

He had said it like it didn't mean anything significant. That he would never date me, that it was crazy to even think that had a possibility of happening. There was so much wrong with me that he couldn't even pinpoint one thing to mention.

I guess to him, it really didn't mean anything. It's not like he likes me, or he is aware that I like him. But he had finally put into words the very thing I had been fearing: Tobias would never like me.

When I got home, I turned off the car and just sat inside for a few moments. I tilted my head up to look at the roof.

Before coming here, I had prayed. Hardcore prayed.

Lord, let the next person You let me have feelings for be the one.

Let the next person keep my heart intact. Let me live without another broken heart to take care of.

I can't have another David in my life.

David was perfect. He seemed to value me, to cherish me even though I wasn't particularly attractive. Then he started mentioning other girls more and more. Of course, I didn't suspect anything. I wanted to believe the best about him, and I was head over heels in love. Love is blind, after all.

I knew I wanted to take things slow. I had previously wanted to save my first kiss for marriage, but David convinced me to give that up for him. However, he quickly realized that the kiss was all he was going to get, and I could tell he was getting impatient. But I just dismissed it and believed that he loved me back anyway.

So you can imagine my surprise when I stumbled across him in an empty hallway, his hand up another girl's shirt. I just turned around and walked away. He was too distracted to register that I had been there; when he texted me for the next week asking what's wrong, all he got was radio silence. By the next week, the messages had tapered off until I saw him with his tongue down the same girl's throat, in a crowded hallway this time.

It hurt. It hurt so unbelievably much. The first two days were filled with a fiery anger that I could barely repress. The next week I was just numb. The week after that I was depressed.

At first I screamed at God, asking Him why He was putting me through this, why He didn't show me David's real persona before. But like it says in James, those trials are there for a reason. I resolved to be stronger for the next time, and to be sure that I truly knew someone before I fell for them. When we moved here, I was determined to get a fresh start. I was determined not to let it happen again.

But Tobias.

Over this past summer I've come to realize that I really like him. I don't know about love quite yet-after all, I'm only sixteen-but I thought that maybe if God had let me have such strong feelings for him, it meant that Tobias was right for me.

I guess I was wrong.

A/N So that chapter may have been mindless rambling as I tried to come up with something to write. Or maybe it was good. I don't know. I'm not good at judging my own writing. But let me know what you guys think. If need be, I can update this chapter again and alter some of it. Looking forward to reading your reviews!