Go Baby Grow

Chapter 30 – Let's Speak to the Doctor

Monday, June 1st

Awake most of the night because he was worried about Lissa, Nolan rolled over and reset his alarm when it sounded at its customary 5:00 am. "Hey, Liss," he whispered on the off chance that she was awake. Her back was to him, so he did not see that she was staring vacantly at the wall.

Ten minutes later, Emily awoke screaming at full volume. Lissa didn't flinch. Jumping out of bed, Nolan hurried to the other end of the main floor. By the time he arrived, both babies and Molly were all crying. He scooped up the babies, one of whom had peed through her PJs, and leaned his head into Molly's bedroom.

"Molly, honey, Daddy will be right back," he promised.

He returned to the Master Bedroom and Lissa sat against a pile of pillows with a blank stare. Quietly, she encouraged him, "Bring them over. I'll nurse them."

"Emily is a soaking mess. Molly's crying. Here… put this blanket under Ems and I'll be right back," Nolan prioritized. He stopped in the kitchen on his way to Molly's room, thankful he had poured her cup of milk and left it in the fridge the night before. He grabbed it and gave it to his daughter.

Molly's face was snotty and her lower lip hung low. Her hair rivaled Uncle Ryder's as she stood on her bed and reached out her hands for Nolan. As much as he hated to be firm in that moment, he knew how he and Lissa had decided to parent.

"Molly, sit down, please. Daddy will pick you up when you're sitting or lying down. No standing on the bed," he detailed.

"Noooooooo," Molly sobbed. "Da," she called out as she opened and closed her extended fist. "Dada…"

"Sit," Nolan insisted as he glared at his eldest, feeling like the meanest Daddy in Seattle.

In her best Hollywood acting, she fell down and crumpled into more tears. Nolan immediately went over and scooped her up. He handed her the milk and snuggled her into his chest.

"Nolan! Emily needs to be changed. Where the hell are you?" Lissa called out impatiently.

"On my way, Blondie," Nolan responded. Turning to Molly, who was still sniffling, Nolan inquired, "Can you help Daddy find new jammies for Sissy?" He ran in, grabbing a diaper, another blanket, and the first PJs he saw.

Setting Molly down in the big chair where he'd just consoled his crying wife the night before, Nolan moved to the bed. Lissa frowned and pointed out, "If you're taking her off my boob, she'll need a paci."

"Right," he nodded as he ran and found one on the nursery floor. If Lissa knew he'd grabbed it and brought it in without cleaning it first, she'd throw her own fit. Instead, Nolan gently coaxed, "Let me take her, Liss." He popped the paci in her mouth, guessing he had less than a minute to change her.

"This is a total mess, poor girl," Nolan commented.

"I didn't diaper her correctly, hmm?" Lissa snapped, taking his commentary personally.

"Blondie, I didn't say that," he corrected. "Let's freshen her up and she'll be great." He slipped the wet PJs off and used a wipe to quickly clean her back and tummy, then changed her diaper.

"She needs a bath," Lissa pointed out.

"I know, Blondie," Nolan assured his wife. "I'll give her one as soon as she's finished nursing. Do you want me to wrap her up in this blanket or throw on these PJs until she bathes and create more laundry?"

"Molly!" Lissa called out. She was peeking over the edge of the chair and about to fall. Nolan lunged over and caught her as she tipped. The sudden catch scared the toddler and she began to cry. He set Molly in the middle of his bed in order to finish handing off the baby.

Skipping the temporary PJs and wrapping the baby in the blanket, Nolan positioned the baby for Lissa and said, "Here."

"Molly," Lissa stated with a slow and low voice. "You need to be careful in the big chair." Molly set her chubby hand on her forehead and began to cry. "Owie… that's right. You almost fell."

"Liss… you're making it worse," Nolan vented.

"That's right. I don't know what I'm doing. What was I thinking?" Lissa snapped as she closed her mouth and nursed the babies.

Eager for help, Nolan popped a text to Olivia to see if she could come over for fifteen minutes before leaving for school. She sprang into action and gave her niece a warm bath, then played with Molly until Ryder honked the horn. As if members of a tag team, Olivia left the house as Amelia entered. After ushering her own offspring through their morning routine, she stayed to help the Tremblay Hunts. Ryder offered to leave earlier that morning so he could drop both Anna and Olivia off at their schools. The family, once again, had saved one another.

Once the girls were calmer, Nolan slipped off to work and left Amelia with Lissa. He promised to keep Amelia updated if he was able to obtain an appointment with Arizona.

At 9:47 am, Nolan's assistant buzzed into his office, "Mr. Tremblay Hunt? I have Dr. Robbins on the line for you," She had been trying to reach Arizona since she arrived at 8:00 am that morning. To her surprise, a fellow assistant told her that Nolan had arrived only five minutes earlier rather than at his standard arrival time between 6:00-6:30am.

"Nolan Tremblay-Hunt, Daddy Extraordinaire," Arizona greeted him. "How are you this bright and sunny morning?"

"Dr. Robbins, Lissa is falling apart," Nolan sighed, unsure where to begin.

"Tell me more, Nolan," Arizona urged as she turned down her enthusiasm.

Nolan described Lissa's mood swings, her exhaustion, and the teary melodrama combined with impatience the day prior. He concluded, "My mom is concerned that Lissa has post-partum depression."

"Why don't you bring her by to see me?" Arizona offered, fairly certain Amelia was spot on. "It's a little before 10 now, how about 10:30 or 10:45?"

"Thank you," Nolan stated with deep gratitude. "We'll be there as soon as we can."

Amelia assured Nolan and Lissa that she could handle both babies while they went to see Arizona. Using the divide and conquer approach, Nolan and Lissa let Molly come with them. Amelia had already dressed and fed the toddler, so all they needed to do was load her into her car seat.

"How do you want to handle this?" Nolan asked, using logic to plan the conversation.

"I dunno," Lissa mumbled. "Handle what?"

"Do you want me to come to the exam room with you? Should I speak to Dr. Robbins alone?" Nolan brainstormed.

"Come in with me," Lissa sighed as she closed her eyes and leaned her head against the window. Simultaneously, she felt nothing and everything. Her life was spinning out of control and she was terrified. Depression's talons had a firm grip, and had convinced her she was unworthy, inept, and useless.

Owen was headed toward the van as Nolan parked in Amelia's assigned spot. After Nolan and Lissa left, Amelia had sent a text to Owen. She encouraged him to meet them at the car and take Molly if he was able to help.

When Lissa saw him approaching, she groaned, "Oh for f # s sake… how many people need to be involved, Nolan?"

"I didn't know he was meeting us at the car, Shorty. I'm sorry," Nolan apologized, knowing it was simply one of many apologies he would offer that day.

Nolan stepped out of the van, "Hi Dad."

With serious concern and lowered brows, Owen inquired, "How is she?"

"It's rough. Thank God for family. Livs came and helped this morning, Ryder drove carpool and Mom's home with the babies," she explained.

"And you're missing work…" Owen observed. "I'm sorry, Nolan. How can I help?"

"Are you able to take Molly? We can keep her with us, but I'm sure she'd have more fun with Papa," Nolan stated.

"Can I? Are you kidding me? I'd love to show her off," Owen smiled.

"Let me unbuckle her. Lissa's not feeling social - stay here," Nolan advised. He carried Molly over to Owen and shared with enthusiasm, "Papa wants to take you inside, Molly."

She wrinkled her nose and displayed her fake smile usually reserved for photos. She shot her arms directly in front of her body and kicked her legs with joy, "Papa!"

Owen beamed and imitated Molly's smile. He held out his arms as he pulled her close. "Hi Miss Molly," he chuckled as he kissed his beloved granddaughter. He proceeded inside, stopping first at the Main Desk to show Molly off to anyone interested. Soon hospital staff, nurses, and doctors with breaks between patients were cooing and laughing as they interacted with the happy little girl.

Nolan and Lissa made their way to Arizona's office, checked in, and waited in the waiting room until Lissa's name was called. After they were ushered to a room, Lissa climbed onto the exam table. Arizona entered almost immediately and studied Lissa from afar. She noted her slumped body, unkempt hair, thrown on clothes, and generally sad demeanor.

She stepped directly in front of Lissa and grasped her hand, gently greeting her patient with a soft smile, "Hi, Larissa." Larissa responded with a slight hum meant to serve as a 'hello.'

"I'm wondering if we'd be more comfortable in my office? Talking in a sterile exam room seems so… sterile," Arizona pondered aloud.

"Sure," Lissa smiled subtly. Arizona led them to her office. It's incandescent lighting and warmer décor was far more comfortable than a cold exam table in an all-white room. She encouraged the couple to have a seat on a sofa that was across the room as she sat in her desk chair and scooted toward them.

"Tell me how things are going," Arizona began with interest and concern. She honed in on Lissa, hoping to obtain answers from her. She knew Nolan could fill in any blanks later.

"I'm tired all the time. Not sleepy-tired. Tired as in exhausted, as in I can't keep my eyes open. I have no energy," Lissa explained. "I don't care about anything anymore."

"Are you sleeping?" Arizona quizzed.

"For a few hours at a time. Even if the babies don't wake me up, I wake up and lie in bed wide awake," she answered. Nolan had no idea, but tried to hide his surprise.

"Any libido?" Arizona added to her questions.

Nolan was tempted to scream a reply, but at least appreciated Lissa's honesty when she admitted, "None whatsoever."

The questions continued and led to a discussion between the three of them. Arizona listened more than she spoke and nodded as she noted important information.

"You have your hands full, Larissa," Arizona summarized as she leaned toward the young mother. She explained the difference between post-partum depression and the baby blues, sharing that Lissa was beyond the time frame for the general downward mood that accompanied initial post-baby hormone shifts. Offering options, Arizona urged Lissa to consider therapy and offered to provide her with a list of respected therapists. She detailed various medications that she trusted and explained that a full effect wouldn't be achieved immediately.

"Knowing that you two are able to afford help, I'd like to encourage you to hire someone. They won't become the girls' mother, Lissa. You are still their mom. But she… at least it's usually a she… can be an extra set of hands. I have a contact at a nanny agency. She'll come to your home to gain a sense of your needs and hopes," Arizona explained.

Lissa grinned sheepishly and said to Nolan, "We need to have someone clean the house before we interview someone to help out. Otherwise, they'll run in terror." Smiling, Nolan placed his arm gently around Lissa's shoulders.

Lastly, Arizona explained that while all the interventions she discussed would be helpful, none of them would be a magic cure-all. The depression would still hang around in all its inky heaviness and needed to be faced and addressed. She again encouraged Lissa to consider medications and provided a handout summarizing various options.

"Are there any I can take while I'm breastfeeding?" Lissa questioned. "I don't want to give that up. It's the only time I have feelings." Arizona assured her she could continue to breastfeed. Then, confirming her hunch, she offered to write a prescription so Lissa could begin the medication that day.

Relieved to experience a sign of hope, Lissa left the office feeling lighter. When Nolan informed her that he was planning to stay home the rest of the day and all of the next day, Lissa's load felt even more manageable. Once they returned home, Nolan scheduled an appointment with the nanny contact and began tidying up the kitchen, living room and dining room. By the end of the day, a nanny was scheduled to begin on a trial basis the following day. As Arizona warned, there were no magic cures. At the same time, the extra hands and adult company would be a godsend.

Meanwhile, Amelia returned to the Lake House. She and Owen were able to sit outside by the water and catch up with one another. Amelia poured her heart out, sharing her concerns about Lissa. In addition, she was worried about Nolan and all he was attempting to manage. They discussed the tension between helping in any way possible yet not taking over or interfering.

With angst and concern weighing them down, they asked Ryder and Olivia to care for the Littles. Freed from the nightly bedtime routine, Amelia and Owen snuggled close. They fell asleep in one another's arms.

Tuesday, June 2nd

Owen left Amelia a note to touch base when she woke up. Since he headed to the hospital at 6:00am, he didn't want to wake her so early. "I missed you this morning," Owen cooed over the phone when Amelia called.

"I miss you now," she chuckled. "How's your morning been?"

"Busy," he sighed. "I dealt with overdue paperwork when I arrived, led a Resident meeting at 6:30, M&M at 7:15, and came down to the ER at 8:30. But now, my morning is wonderful," he flirted as he turned away from the nurses' station and spoke softly into the phone.

"What was the M&M?" Amelia inquired.

Owen scoffed, "You're supposed to be resting, Mia. Do you really want to hear about a botched case?"

"Yes," she pushed. "Keep my doctor brain from being eaten up by Mommy brain, Owen. Humor me."

He walked down the hallway and out the ambulance bay door. After settling onto a bench where nobody would hear him, he detailed, "It was tough. 20-year-old kid, dirt bike accident, no helmet, isolated trails. He flipped off his bike and slammed onto his back. Choppered here."

"Stop… enough," she requested. "I hate the cases with young patients and preventable accidents."

"I wish you'd been here to treat him," Owen commented. "You may not have been able to save him, but he would've had a stronger chance."

"Who dropped the ball?" Amelia inquired.

"You don't want to know," Owen responded.

"It wasn't Derek, was it?" she questioned.

"No, not Derek. Enough said," Owen took in a deep breath. "What are your plans for the day?"

"Ryder was kind enough to get everyone dressed, fed, and off to school this morning. I'm home alone, relishing in the silence. I think I'll walk over and meet the new nanny," Amelia shared. "Depending on how long I stay there, I might force myself to read more of this terrifying Parent's Guide for Plebe Summer. I'm beginning to think that living in deep denial and pretending that Ryder's headed to some Edenic summer camp would be better."

Owen chuckled. "I really believe he's making one of the best choices he has ever made, Mia. The results will amaze you."