Killing Game

By Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: This is only a sandbox that I like to play in. Sadly, it is not mine.

Chapter 13

It was cold in the room. That was the first thought that managed to permeate the fog in her mind. It was the sort of cold that made the very tip of her nose sting, at least until it became slightly numb. While she was thinking of that, the cold settled into her bones. It sent a shiver along her spine from hips to shoulders, until the involuntary movement that her body made sent an ache through her right side that was so keen, so sharp that it very nearly stole her breath. Her eyes were already closed, but she clenched her lids more tightly shut while she concentrated on drawing air and letting it out slowly. She counted each breath, until the only thing that she allowed her mind to concentrate on were the sounds of her inhalations and the slow exhalation that followed. Slowly the burning pain in her right side began to recede, at least enough so that she might cast her focus elsewhere, beyond the chill that was surrounding her.

There was a low murmur of sound in the room. Immediately to her right there was the low whir and occasional hiss of a machine. Her eyes blinked open and she cast a glance toward the sound. It took a moment for her to be able to focus. Without her glasses the room was cast in a blur of colors, grays and blues. She had no concept of time, but there was light coming in through a single window that stretched across one wall. It seemed to be very early, or maybe it was very late. She couldn't tell. Sharon blinked a few times and was able to make out the shapes beside her. There was an IV stand with a digital readout, and above it, a monitor that was glowing softly in the dimly lit room. Sharon's brows drew together as she tried to recall where she was and why. Her mind wasn't quite up to par yet; there was a jumble of images and memories. It was difficult to sort through just yet. While she worked at separating each moment that made up those jumbled thoughts, her gaze moved further around the room.

With the sound of the machines she was able to pick out another sound, the low timbre of a familiar voice. It drew her attention. She found the source seated not far from her bed. There was a couch along the wall, beneath the wide window. Her eyes narrowed as she pushed her eyes to focus on the scene before her. The owner of that voice was seated to one side of it, near a chair that held another man. Andy and Ricky were speaking quietly, the two of them bent over an iPad. There was another with them, but this one was unmoving. She was curled on the bench of the sofa beside Andy, her head rested on something that looked to be a very thin and uncomfortable throw pillow. It and the pillow were propped on Andy's leg, and he seemed not to notice at all as he and her elder son continued their conversation, oblivious to the fact that they were being watched. Sharon studied Emily for a moment. The girl appeared to be sleeping soundly, or at least as well as she could given their surroundings. A familiar black, leather jacket was covering her, shielding her from the chill that had settled over the room.

Sharon closed her eyes again and sighed. The throbbing in her right side was becoming more pronounced again. It seemed to be centered in her shoulder. She tried to move, to release the pressure, but a low hum was wrought from her as the movement just made it worse.

It was the sound that drew their attention. Andy stopped speaking mid-sentence and looked toward the bed. A frown had appeared on her face, and her bottom lip was tucked between her teeth. It was a clear indication that Sharon was awake and in some amount of pain. He laid a hand on Emily's shoulder and gave it a gentle shake. The girl lifted her head, immediately awake, and pushed his jacket aside as she sat up. Andy stood first and walked toward the bed. Emily and Ricky were not far behind him. "Easy." He spoke quietly, voice rumbling softly in the otherwise quiet room. "Don't move too much." Andy reached for the call button to summon the nurse and placed his other hand against the top of her head. He swept her hair back from her face. Her right arm was in a brace, secured to her body; she wouldn't be able to move it much anyway, but he knew that the attempt would only cause her pain.

"Hm." She breathed through another wave of pain. "Too late." Her voice was thick and slightly slurred. Sharon forced her eyes open and gazed at the three people standing over her. There was one missing, however. His absence brought everything back with startling clarity. Her eyes darted to Andy and widened. "Rusty?"

Her awareness came in the stiffening of her body. His thumb stroked her temple in a simple, calming motion. "Is okay," he said immediately. "He's upstairs. Provenza and Patrice are with him."

"I checked on him a little while ago," Ricky told her. He stood at the foot of the bed. His hands rested against her feet. They were restless, something that his mother did when she was cold. "Emily." He jerked his head toward the row of cabinets behind his sister. There was a narrow closet among them. "Can you see if there is another blanket?" While his sister began opening doors until she found what she was looking for, Ricky focused on his mother. "Rusty woke up a few hours ago, but he was in some pain. They gave him something to help him rest. He seemed okay after that."

"The lady," Emily said as she unfolded a blanket and laid it over her mother's legs, "Patrice?" All of these people were unfamiliar to her. "She has been watching his vitals all night. She said that he did really good." They had discussed this before Emily had lain down to try and catch a nap. They knew that the moment she was awake Sharon would want to know about Rusty, and unless they were prepared to sit on her to keep her in bed, they would need to have answers ready.

"Hm." Sharon hummed again. The pain was pretty intense. She closed her eyes again, but they opened soon after. The door to her room swung inward with a soft click and she tried to concentrate on what was happening around her. "What happened?"

Andy ignored the question for the moment; his attention was on the nurses. "She just woke up," he told her. "She's in a lot of pain." They had known that she would be, but Andy hated seeing her like this. He hated even more that there was nothing that he could do about it.

"Okay." The nurses moved closer. One of them came to stand on Sharon's right side, while the other moved around to stand beside Andy. "Ms. Raydor, do you know where you are?" While she waited for an answer, she checked the monitors and then leaned over to ease back a corner of the woman's hospital gown. She slipped on a pair of pale, lavender gloves while waiting for an answer.

"Unfortunately." Sharon exhaled slowly. "I am a little more concerned with my son at the moment."

"I can get you an update in a few minutes." The nurse shared a look with the man on the other side of the bed. "I need to check your incision, so we're going to roll you. I won't lie, this is going to hurt, but we will give you something for that."

Andy slid around the younger of the two nurses to join Emily and Ricky at the foot of the bed. This wasn't going to be pleasant. "Why don't the two of you go check on Rusty and let everyone know that she's awake."

Ricky looked ready to protest. He gazed at his mother for a moment before he sighed. "Yeah, okay." He shared a look with his sister. Emily didn't look any happier about the thought of leaving than he did, but she nodded. It was pretty clear that whatever was about to happen wasn't going to be easy for anyone. "It's time for a coffee refill anyway," he said.

"We'll be back in a couple of minutes," Emily told her mother. "Maybe if he's awake and up to it, we can see about a facetime with Rusty," she suggested. "Then you can see how he's doing for yourself." The thought had only just occurred to her, and if it kept everyone calm and where they belonged, it didn't seem like too bad of an idea.

"We can probably make that happen," Ricky said. "The charge nurse in SICU has a crush on Gus. Bet if we smuggle him in again she will look the other way..."

Andy shook his head as the pair of them left the room. "Those two have been plotting different ways of getting around the nurses on five all night," he told Sharon. "They are definitely all yours," he added with a grin.

Sharon frowned as she braced herself for what was to come. "The nursing staff wouldn't let Gus see Rusty?" When she was finally moved, she inhaled sharply. Pain, like nothing else she recalled having felt, moved down the right side of her body. She couldn't fully contain the low moan that escaped her. Sharon closed her eyes tightly and counted her breaths until she was released.

His jaw clenched tightly. Andy gripped the footboard of the hospital bed. She had gone ashen when they moved her. He tapped his foot impatiently and watched the nurses move around the bed. They recorded her vitals and other notes on the tablet that one of them had brought, and finally, just as he was getting ready to say something, the younger of the pair injected something into her IV. Morphine, and he hoped that it would kick in quickly.

"Yeah," his voice was thick and gruff when he spoke again. "They had Rusty in ICU over night so that they could keep an eye on him. They're going to move him to a room today, but it was family only up there. The day nurses didn't believe that Gus was his brother, so we waited until after shift change. Ricky got him in for a little while by making the night shift crew think that he was mine. Then Emily got here and let it slip that we aren't married." She frowned at that, and Andy wasn't sure if she really understood anything that he was saying at this point. When the nurses withdrew from the room, he moved alongside her bed again. He sat carefully on the edge of the mattress on her left side and reached up to sweep a lock of hair away from her face. "Hey."

"Hm." She was trying to focus on the sound of his voice and not the pain in her shoulder, but it was difficult. "It's all a little fuzzy," she managed, "but I am pretty sure that I would remember if we were married." Her eyes fluttered open and she stared up at him. He was looking back at her with an expression of such worry that she wanted to be able to reassure him, but couldn't find the energy just yet to do more than lift her good arm and wrap her hand around his wrist. Her thumb moved beneath the gold chain of his bracelet in a slow caress.

"Well, being stuck with me is what you get," he managed in a softer voice, "for leaving us all unsupervised all night." Andy gave her a small smile. "The doctors just assumed that we were married, and since Ricky wasn't here, and Emily was having a hard time getting here, and neither of them was all that sure who had your medical power of attorney, we went with it." He shrugged, just a little sheepishly and added, "It didn't seem like a bad idea, at least until we could get your kids here and let them weigh in on everything. Then there was Rusty, and it was just a hell of a night. It's over now."

"I'm sorry." Most of her memories were coming back, and although she was beginning to feel that odd weightlessness that came as a side effect of the narcotic pain reliever, Sharon was able to realize just how difficult a position he must have been in. Her eyes started to close again, but she caught sight of the bandage that was only just barely visible beneath the short sleeve of his t-shirt. Her good arm moved again and her fingers brushed gently over the area. "Andy..." She hadn't realized that he had been hurt too, not until that moment.

His gaze followed her hand. Andy shook his head as he captured it. He brought her fingers to his lips. "Just a scratch," he promised. "Everyone is okay, Sharon." He knew that she would want more information about Rusty, but it could wait until she was better able to wrap her mind around it. She was already fading. Andy could tell that the morphine was beginning to do its job. He held her hand in his and stroked her cheek with the other. "Rest. We can talk about everything later."

The darkness that was closing in on her seemed entirely too blissful to ignore. Sharon nodded silently. If he promised her that Rusty was okay, she would believe him. She could trust him, with everything that she had, her child and her heart.

When Sharon woke up again it seemed as though a lot more time had passed. The room was bathed in more light, again from the window on the far side. It had been very early, she realized, when she woke the first time. Now it seemed to be well into the afternoon, if the sunlight spilling in to her room was any indication. Waking was a little easier this time, she was more aware of her surroundings, and as she concentrated on how her body was feeling, she was aware of less pain. She still felt very groggy, and her right shoulder was aching terribly, but this was not the sharp throbbing that she had initially felt that morning.

Sharon was more careful in her movements this time. She had learned that lesson this morning, and there was much more that she wanted to know before the next dose of pain medication put her under again. Sharon looked around the room, and this time she found only Emily present. Her daughter was curled in the chair near her bed and seemed to be quietly reading something on the iPad. Sharon watched her for a moment. Emily was wrapped in a sweater. Her usually trendy and impeccably dressed girl had her hair pulled into a messy ponytail and appeared to be perfectly comfortable in a pair of leggings and UGGs. Sharon wanted to laugh a bit. That look was a far cry from her Manhattan style. "What time is it?" She asked instead.

Emily's head snapped up. She blinked once before a smile curved her lips. She closed the case on the iPad and put it aside as she stood up to move closer to the bed. "Hey." Emily sat on the edge of the bed and took her mother's hand. "It's almost two in the afternoon. How are you feeling?"

"Not great," she admitted, "but better than this morning." Sharon closed her eyes again for a moment. "Emily, I can't see a thing."

The younger woman laughed quietly. "No, I guess you can't." She stood up again and walked over to open her bag, which was sitting on the small sofa. She had placed her mother's personal items in it, her glasses and jewelry. The clothes were ruined, but had been taken for evidence. She pulled a case from one of the outside pockets and snapped it open. Emily carried the glasses back over and settled them on her mother's face. "Better?"

"Much." She blinked to clear her vision as it suddenly came back in to focus. Her gaze swept the room again before settling back on her eldest child. "Where is everyone?"

Emily eased back down onto the edge of the bed. "Ricky went to the condo to take a quick shower and change clothes. He's going to bring back some things for you and Rusty, so that you'll be a little more comfortable while you're here." She smiled again. "You will be glad to know that baby brother is out of the ICU and in a real room. They got him settled a couple of hours ago. Andy went up to sit with him so that the Lieutenant and his wife could go home and get some rest. They will be back this evening. Actually, Andy will probably be back soon too. He sent Gus home to get cleaned up, but he should be returning shortly." She studied her mother closely for moment. "Do you need me to get the nurse?"

"Not yet." They would have to do that soon, but Sharon was okay for the moment. She did not want to be poked, prodded, or moved just yet. She turned her hand over in Emily's and gave it a squeeze. "You look tired, darling. You should go home and get some rest too. When did you get here?"

"Last night." Emily shook her head at her mother. "I'm okay. I'll run home and get a shower when Ricky gets back. Don't worry about us, Mom. You're the one in the hospital." Emily looked down as a frown drew her brows together. She took a breath and let it out slowly. "You scared us," she admitted quietly.

"Emily." She sighed softly. "I think I scared myself this time." She gave her daughter's hand a squeeze. She could imagine well how her girl must have felt, the not knowing, and the disconnect that came from being so far away.

Emily shook her head. She laughed, and tried to brush it aside. All of her worry and the fear, it had settled inside of her like a chill. She had gone out earlier; to stand in the sun, but it hadn't helped much. Talking with her mother did, but getting over the previous evening's panic would not be a simple process. Emily's eyes stung with tears that she quickly blinked away. When she looked up again, their hazel depths were shining brightly with emotion. "I think that I might have driven the boyfriend crazy. I must have sent a hundred texts, and made at least a dozen calls, asking for updates while I waited for my plane to board. I thought that you dating would be weird," she admitted. Emily's nose wrinkled as she said it. "I couldn't seem to get my head around it, you know? I mean, my whole life everything was… well, it was the way that it was. Then all of a sudden everything changed. There was Rusty, and then you got divorced, and now this dating thing. It all sounded so odd, even when Rusty would tell us how things were going, or when Dad would complain, it was just so weird. Not in a bad way," Emily was quick to add when her mother frowned at her, "I think that I just could not imagine it. I knew that you had this relationship and that it was important, and I remembered you being friends with Andy from before. I don't know him well, but he seemed very nice on the occasions that I met him. I won't lie, everything that Dad told us about him isn't great, but that's Dad." She rolled her eyes. Emily knew to take everything that Jack said with a grain of salt, but it wasn't always easy. She had been raised to respect her parents, even the one that was absent and of questionable character. "Even after Andy called me yesterday, I wasn't really thinking of him in those terms," she continued. "When I got here…" Emily looked into her mother's eyes. A smile was playing at the corners of her mouth. "Where did you find him?" Her eyes were sparkling. Emily shook her head. "This isn't just a middle-aged, post-divorce fling is it?"

The question drew a surprised laugh from Sharon, which only made her groan and wince in pain. She closed her eyes and hummed while she waited for the wave of pain to recede. After a moment, when she was no longer seeing spots, Sharon shook her head. She returned her daughter's gaze and offered her a soft smile. "No," she answered. "It isn't that at all. We were, actually no that isn't right, we are very good friends," Sharon explained. "We just both came to realize that the potential for more was there too. We've had to be very careful in how we approached this dating thing," Sharon smiled again. The way that her children viewed and described her personal life never ceased to amuse her. "We didn't want to jeopardize our working relationship, but at the same time, we already had something infinitely precious and we didn't want to ruin that either. I would rather have him in my life as my very dear friend and never know what else we might be together than to risk losing him. It was easier to take this chance when I knew that he felt the same way. So no, Emily, this couldn't be any farther from a fling."

"I like him." Emily knew that her mother didn't need her approval. She hadn't asked for it, and never would, but she thought it needed to be said."

"So do I." Sharon smiled again. "He is pretty fantastic."

There was something a little bit giddy in the way that her mother said that. It made Emily laugh, a quiet and musical sound that filled the room and made it seem a little brighter. "Well, Ricky and I decided that we're keeping him. Even if you end up tossing him away, we want him." Her eyes twinkled with amusement. "When we got here last night we were expecting chaos, but there wasn't any. He handled everything and only expected us to worry about you. Maybe that's terrible, and maybe we should have taken over, but we didn't have to." Her head inclined. Emily added, "and he wrote everything down for us. Who does that?"

Sharon's eyes closed. She smiled, and it was just a little bit wistful as she was reminded of another time when he done the same thing. It wasn't so long ago, and although she had been terribly worried about him at the time, now she could look back on that specific moment a little fondly. "Andy does. He was terrified that he might miss some important fact that you would need. It might also be from years of dealing with me. He knows that I deal better when I have facts to concentrate on." Sharon frowned. The ache in her shoulder was beginning to worsen. The pain was radiating down her back. She really did need to get up and move. "Emily, can you get the nurse now? I think it's time."

Before she could stand up, the door to her mother's room opened, even as a soft knock sounded. Emily watched her mother's gaze move toward the sound and didn't have to look to know who it was. Her mother's eyes lit up, and a smile appeared. Emily followed her gaze and sure enough, there was Andy. He had poked his silver head inside the room and was gazing back at her mother just as fondly. "Yeah, I think I can do that." Emily stood and moved toward the door. She paused there for a moment as Andy pushed it open and stood to the side so that she could slide past him. "She just woke up," Emily told him. "I'll let the nurse know." She would do what she could to give them a couple of minutes alone.

"Great." Andy waited for Emily to step out of the room before he moved further into it. He pulled the door closed behind him and walked over to take a seat beside her bed. He pulled the chair as close as he could. "How are you doing?"

"Better." At least at the moment it still wasn't hurting as badly as it had that morning. "How is Rusty?" His fingers wrapped around her hand and she concentrated on the warmth of his grip.

"He's in some pain, but he's doing okay. He was shot in the leg, and the side. They fixed the leg, it was mostly muscle damage. It will be okay in a few weeks. The bullet in his side did some damage to his kidney and a couple of vessels. They were able to save the kidney, but they're watching him pretty close for infection. He's young and healthy, though. Patrice says he's doing great. I trust her more than I trust the other guys. She's keeping an eye on his vitals and his chart. She can probably explain all of it better than I can, but if she says he's going to be okay, I believe her."

Sharon closed her eyes against the sting of tears. She really hoped to spare Rusty this, but it could have been so much worse. "So do I," she replied. She would talk to Patrice later, when there was more time. Like Andy, though, if the other woman said that everything would be okay, Sharon would be able to accept it. She had been such a godsend to them when Andy was injured. It was easy to see why Lieutenant Provenza loved her so much.

Andy's thumb stroked the back of her hand. Her color was better. She didn't look nearly as pale as she had that morning. She was still holding herself stiffly, however, and he could tell that she was hurting. "We spoke to Taylor this morning. He dropped by to check on everyone. Howard's people got them, Sharon. Fiess told us everything he knew yesterday, and SOB went after them. It's over. We've got them all." From the Elliot murder to the crime operation that was going on inside the LAPD with those responsible, they had made the arrests that they needed to. There was still going to be some cleanup that had to be done, but that was over their heads. They had closed their part of the case.

She was silent for a moment. Sharon took a breath and let it out slowly. "So it was Fiess who arranged the shooting?"

"Yeah." Andy shrugged. "With contacts that he made while he was working Gang Intel. He's going away for it too. Murder One and a life sentence. The downside is that we will have to protect the son of a bitch, but we got him."

Sharon's gaze dropped to their joined hands. She was silent while she studied them; it amazed her how small and pale her hand seemed by comparison. "You took care of Rusty," she said quietly. "I asked you to choose, and I know that it was difficult, but you did it, and…"

"Hey." Andy leaned forward. He reached over and tipped her face up. "It wasn't that hard." It was a lie and from the way that Sharon smiled at him, he knew that she was fully aware of the fact that he was lying through his teeth. Andy shook his head and leaned over. He was careful as he laid his head on her stomach. He gazed up at her. It was as close to holding her as he could get without risking that he would hurt her. "I love you."

She pulled her hand out of his grasp and laid it against the back of his head. Her fingers combed gently through his hair. Those silver locks that she loved so much were in such disarray, probably from his having run his hands through it so many times. That was something that he did when he was especially worried or upset. "I love you," she whispered back. When he reached up and took her hand again, only to bring it to his lips, she closed her eyes. A smile curved her lips. The idea of being without him now seemed so unfathomable to her. Emily was amazed at how well he had taken care of them all, but Sharon found it completely unsurprising. She trusted him with her life, her whole life, and not just her physical wellbeing. Her children were just as important a part of that life as was her ability to keep breathing on this earth. She took a thin, shuddering breath. "I need to see Rusty."

"I know." He turned his face into her stomach and pressed a gentle kiss there before he lifted his head again. "Gus is back. I was going to give them a couple of minutes alone. I told him I would see if you were up to it, and we would do a facetime. They don't want Rusty moving around too much yet. He can't come to you, and you can't go to him, so we'll do the best we can." He would always be haunted by the sight of her covering her child's body to protect him, but it was also something that Andy had always known would happen. Sharon would put herself between Rusty and danger, and all he would be able to do is pray for the best and mitigate the damage.

There was a darkness in his eyes that worried her a little. "Andy, have you left at all yet?" Emily hadn't mentioned it and somehow it wouldn't surprise her if Andy had been at the hospital all night and day without even a thought to himself.

"I'm fine." He gave her hand a squeeze and stood up. He shifted over to sit on the edge of her bed. "Sharon don't worry about me. When Rick gets back, I'm going to send Emily home. I'll go get cleaned up after she gets back." He would hit a meeting on the return trip. "By then Provenza and Patrice should be here, so I'll have a little time to take care of some things. Okay?"

"Okay." Sharon shook her head at him. "You know, telling me not to worry about you is a little bit like me expecting you to not worry about us. It isn't going to happen." She was smiling fondly at him but her gaze moved to her shoulder. "How bad is it?"

He sighed. His thumb stroked the curve of her cheek. "The doctor said he doesn't see any reason you won't get full function back. The bullet hit the bone, but your shoulder is still pretty tore up. SID backed up what the surgeon thought, that it was a ricochet. You might need another surgery," he explained, "but it's going to depend on how it heals. Sharon, I…" Andy shrugged. "I don't know how long, or…" How was he supposed to tell her that this might be it? That her career might be done for? "Taylor isn't worried. He said we could cover, that you would come back when you came back, but…"

"Taylor says a lot of things." She let her gaze drift away for a moment. Sharon understood what he was trying to say. "It was worth it. Andy, whatever happens, it was worth it."

"Yeah." That was something that he could understand. "I know. You would do it again. It's okay. We'll figure it out." His only regret was that he hadn't been able to move faster, but Andy knew that he couldn't dwell on that. If being sober had taught him anything, it was how to not focus on the things that he couldn't change. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

She hummed. "We?" Her lips curved against his. She always enjoyed the sound of that. It filled her with such warmth, and such joy. She never imagined that she would want to be part of a unit again; she had worked so hard to disentangle herself from Jack during the long years of their separation that she believed she would want to maintain her autonomy. That wasn't true, though. Every day she was finding that she liked being part of a partnership, this partnership.

"Yep." He nuzzled her cheek and kissed the corner of her mouth before he lifted his head. "Look on the bright side, maybe the NFL will come sniffing around again."

She snorted quietly. "Oh honey, you are never letting the loss of those tickets go, are you?"

"The Rams come home to LA and you pass up season tickets?" Andy rolled his eyes and feigned an aggrieved look. He was, and always would be, a Giants man, but he couldn't pass up the opportunity to tease her about the office she would have had on site with their home team. "You're lucky that I love you."

"I know." She cupped his cheek in her left hand and returned his teasing smile. He hadn't wanted her to go, and he was relieved when she turned that job down, but Sharon enjoyed teasing him about it too. There was a soft knock on the door. Sharon tapped his nose and gave him a wink before her attention shifted away. Emily had returned with the nurse. What was going to come was going to be unpleasant, but she focused on what lay beyond that. She needed to see Rusty, and she had her older children home, and then there was this man that she adored who was taking care of all of them.

Sharon made a mental note to speak with Emily again before her next dose of pain medication put her under. She would send Emily to Lieutenant Provenza as soon as he returned. Andy had promised to take care of himself, but Sharon decided that it wouldn't hurt if there was someone to make sure that he did. Besides, their resident Flynnsitter was out of commission. Maybe having Andy to fuss at would be good for the Lieutenant too; Sharon figured he must be just as worried about Rusty as she was. It would be good for him, and she would feel better knowing that Andy was taken care of too.

-TBC-