Killing Game

By Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: This is only a sandbox that I like to play in. Sadly, it is not mine.

Chapter 14

Everything hurt, from the terrible pain in his leg and the way that it ached all the way to his toes, to the throbbing in his side. Every time that he woke up it was to pain. It was getting better each time, but there was a part of him that just wanted to sleep until everything was healed again. This last time that he woke up, he also felt really gross. Rusty complained about that until they let him get up and take a shower.

That was an experience that he hoped to never have to repeat, ever, but even though he ended up sitting in the shower stall while his brother helped him get cleaned up, Rusty felt better. His hair was washed and he was in his own pajamas. It made the fact that everything hurt seem not so bad. Although the fact that his brother had to help him was still a little awkward; he could argue that it was awkward to have anyone helping him in the shower, but he guessed that was better than the alternative. He hadn't wanted some nurse that he didn't know, and the simple fact was that he and Gus just weren't that close yet. He liked him, he liked him a lot, and they were getting closer all the time, but they just weren't there yet. He was really glad that Gus seemed to have felt the same way, because he had offered to get out of Rusty's way and go get food for everyone.

Now Rusty was back in his bed, and although he hurt all over, he could deal with it. He had a burger from his favorite restaurant, fixed exactly the way that he liked it, and the chili cheese curly fries that he simply could not live without. His hair was clean, he had his favorite t-shirt on, and his laptop was set up on the table in front of him. His food sat to one side, mostly untouched and not from a lack of desire. There was something else that Rusty really wanted to do, and he couldn't believe that the sun was already going down and they were just getting to this.

His heart was pounding in his chest. His stomach was dancing a little bit. He was almost wiggling in the bed, and he might have, if not for the pain in his side and the ache in his leg. He ignored all of that, though, while he waited for the video-call on his laptop to go through. The moment that it did, and his screen lit up, a smile curved his face.

"Hi mom." Rusty felt a little bit like crying, but that wasn't something that he ever did in front of people. His brother and his boyfriend would be no exception. After his shower Ricky had stayed with him while they waited for Gus to get back. Now that his boyfriend was there, the three of them were just hanging out. Or make that four of them now, and however many people were in his mother's room.

"Rusty." She was just a little breathless. They had finally managed to have the two of them awake at the same moment, and neither in so much pain that they couldn't consider a simple conversation. She touched the screen of the iPad and drew her bottom lip between her teeth. He was pale. There were dark circles beneath his eyes. He was smiling brightly at her, however, and his hair was mussed and damp. He was in clean clothes and he seemed to be more or less okay.

"Oh god, don't cry." He could take anything but that. It always killed him. From the way that her voice hitched and the fact that she was blinking rapidly and looking up, he knew that it was coming. "Please don't cry. I'm okay. I promise." Rusty cast a desperate look at the other two boys in the room. "She's going to cry."

"Probably." Ricky shrugged.

"Definitely," Gus answered.

"It's a mom thing," Ricky told him. "Just give the old girl a few minutes. It will be fine."

"You were shot," Gus reminded him. "My mom cried when I broke my leg when I was five. Getting shot is on a whole different level. It's probably going to be ugly crying."

Rusty moaned quietly. "Oh god."

"Richard William Raydor." Sharon swept her fingers beneath her eyes and scowled at the tablet's screen. She couldn't see her eldest son, but she could hear him perfectly well. "Stop trying to make your brother feel worse."

"What?" Ricky's jaw dropped open. He looked at Gus. "I told him it would be fine. You're the one that said it was going to be bad."

Gus flashed a wide, cheerful grin at him. "Your mom likes me better."

"Obviously." Ricky slumped in his seat with a scowl. "Gee, thanks a lot mom. What are you going to do, adopt him too?"

"Hmm…"

She actually looked a little contemplative. Rusty laughed, but grabbed his side and groaned when the action caused him more pain. "I think I should be the one upset. You look a lot worse than I do." He frowned at his screen. "Are you okay?"

"It's worse than it looks," Sharon lied. It hurt terribly and she didn't like what the doctor said when he was in to see her earlier. Rusty didn't need to know about all of that, though. A second surgery was still only a possibility. She smiled instead and shook her head. "I think it will be just fine. It was really only a flesh wound. I am more worried about you," she said. "Oh Rusty…"

"So what happened?" He quickly cut her off when she started to get emotional again. That was the last thing that Rusty wanted, even if right now they both had a right to be, he still hated it when Sharon was upset. He did not want her worrying about him, especially right now when she needed to be getting better too. "I keep asking, but everyone keeps saying that we will talk about it later. Lieutenant Provenza won't tell me anything, and Buzz said we could just talk about it when I feel better," Rusty sighed. "Then Andy was like talk to your mother," he said, pitching his voice low in a passable imitation.

Andy moved from where he was seated in the chair beside Sharon's bed to lean over and glare at the screen. "Hey. Watch it, Kid."

Rusty flashed a cheeky grin at him. "Oh. Hi Andy. Weren't you supposed to go home?"

"I am still working on that." Sharon gave his head a gentle shove and sent him back to his chair. "He is proving to be more stubborn than usual." She glared at the man.

Andy smirked back at her. "I don't know what you're talking about." He had gone home and taken a shower. He had stopped and picked up something to eat for both of them, and had even managed to go to a meeting. He had done everything that he told her that he was going to do.

"So the Provenza thing didn't work?" Rusty shook his head. "He was kind of looking forward to it. He was a little excited after Emily talked to him. It was almost scary."

"Yeah." Andy pointed a finger at Sharon. "Remind us to talk about that."

"Yes of course," she flashed a sweet smile at him. "I will be absolutely thrilled to have that discussion with you, Andrew."

She simpered in a way that made Gus and Ricky laugh. Rusty let his head fall back. "Oh man. They are so married." He sighed. "Okay, fine, can you flirt with the so-called stepdad later? I have questions."

"No, no," Ricky said. "Don't stop them. We want to see this." He leaned forward in his chair. His dark eyes were sparkling with mischief.

"Well, hear it, actually," Gus pointed out. They couldn't see the laptop's screen from where they were seated. "They are actually pretty amusing when they really get going," he told Ricky. "When my apartment building was being fumigated a few weeks ago, the Lieutenant let me crash at his place for a couple of nights… and she didn't know I was there," he pointed at the laptop to indicate which she he was talking about. "That was interesting."

Ricky's brows climbed into his hairline. "Oh really?" He sat up in his chair and looked as if he might just begin to bounce with glee. "I want to hear all about this."

"Guys, come on." Rusty made a face at them. "We don't have long. One or both of us is going to need some meds soon, and that means we'll pass out. I would really like to find out what is going on, and since no one else will tell me…" He waved his hand at the computer. "Can we play torture mom another time?"

Gus and Ricky shared a look. The two of them had a lot of time to spend together while Rusty was in surgery and later unconscious. They were close to the same age and while they did not have a lot in common, they shared some similar interests. What they did have in common, however, was this family. Once Gus had convinced Ricky that he cared about Rusty a lot, getting along with the other young man had been easy. Whatever happened between him and Rusty, Gus was always going to feel a bond with these people, because of his sister and how they had taken care of her after her murder. Ricky couldn't understand all of that, not in the literal sense, but he had a sister, and he had a brother, and he knew what it felt like to worry about them and only want the best.

As one the two of them stood up. They walked over to Rusty's bed and flanked it. They were careful as they sat down on each side of him, effectively wedging him between them, all without managing to hurt him. Ricky flashed a wide grin that was all trouble. "Hi mom."

Gus's dark eyes were sparkling. He was smiling just as brightly. "Hi mom."

Rusty's head fell back again. "Oh god."

Sharon slapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. She cleared her throat and tried to look serious. "Boys." It was failing miserably; she knew that in the way that they just kept smirking at her. There was also the very loud laughter that was coming from her left. Sharon slanted a look at Andy and snapped her fingers at him. "Stop that," she hissed.

He shook his head and leaned forward. Andy covered his face with his hand and continued to laugh. "He's screwed now."

Sharon watched Rusty lift his head and cast a horrified look at the computer screen. She sighed. "Andy…" She gave him a pointed look. "Will you please?"

He stared back at her. Andy rolled his eyes. "Go and rescue Rusty?" He sighed as he pushed himself out of his chair. The laughter was all but forgotten now. "Yeah, sure. Must be Monday," he grumbled as he walked toward the door.

She watched him go and continued to struggle to contain her smile. "Thank you, Andy," she drawled.

Ricky looked at Gus again. "Awww," he fluttered his lashes. "That is so sweet."

"It must be love," Gus replied and made a couple of cute, cupid faces.

Rusty sighed. "You get that he's coming here, right? To deal with the two of you?" He looked at his brother and then his boyfriend. "That means when he gets here he is going to find out that you brought me a burger," he said to his boyfriend, "and you got me a milkshake," he told his brother, "after the doctor said I could only have clear foods for a couple of days." He smiled widely at both boys. "So maybe you should…"

"Right!" Ricky swung off the bed and stood up quickly. "How about that vending machine."

"How about that Starbucks across the street," Gus said as he followed suit. "See ya babe."

"Bye mom," Ricky called. He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.

Rusty shook his head as they left. "They've known each other for all of a whole day and it's like they're twelve year olds trying to figure out how much trouble they can get into the minute that all of the adults are busy."

"Hm." Sharon chuckled quietly. She smiled fondly at her son. "Rusty, they're boys." She didn't say it to demean their gender, but rather to explain their behavior. "They also happen to be very close in age, and in my experience, when young men of similar ages and dispositions get together, things tend to happen a certain way." Her eyes were sparkling at him. "I also seem to recall a certain amount of mischief that you and your brother got into together not so long ago." A smile curved her lips and she gave him a knowing look. Ricky wasn't able to be with them for Christmas, he had joined his grandparents this year, but he had joined them for the New Year. At the time, Rusty and Gus had only just started to consider the possibility of dating, and so Rusty had neither mentioned nor introduced the other man to his brother.

"Yeah, okay." Rusty slumped a bit in the bed. He made a face at her that was not quite a sulk. "I think this is the part where I am supposed to remind you that we were making breakfast for you at the time."

"Which I would have appreciated," Sharon pointed out, "had the two of you not destroyed my kitchen in the process." It was one little food fight, but they were both adults and she was not going to allow them to forget it any time soon.

Rusty rolled his eyes at her but he was smiling. She had him on that one. They had made something of a huge mess, and one of her favorite coffee mugs had gotten broken. The set was replaced with a new one, the green ones that she seemed to like much better, but Rusty knew better than to tempt Sharon into pulling out the guilt trip as her way of reminding him that he was not always completely well behaved. "You win," he conceded. Rusty sighed. "Can we talk about what happened before someone else interrupts us? Please?"

Sharon hoped to delay that as long as possible but she nodded. "Yes, I think that we can do that." Her son had a right to know what had happened to him and why. She took breath and let it out slowly before she began the story. She knew that Rusty had some of the details of their case, but she filled him in on the others, and took him from the moment that Sergeant Elliot had died, to the arrests that were made as a result of the shooting.

While she spoke, Rusty picked at his fries. Andy showed up a few minutes into the story and took a seat near the window. He glanced at the other man after Sharon had finished. Rusty was working on wrapping his mind around everything that she said. He frowned while he thought about it. "So what happens now?"

"For all intents and purposes," Sharon said, "it's over now, Rusty. The department will have some clean up to do. There are people that are probably going to lose their jobs over all of this. There will be some restructuring along the way. I am sure there may even be a few new regulations added to the rule book." Sharon heard Andy grunt and grumble at that and could not stop the smile that curved her lips. "When things like this happen, Rusty," she lifted her voice just a bit so that Andy would know that she had heard him, and that she was directing part of her statement at him, "we have to make certain that they do not happen again. We are, all of us, charged with the safety of the people of this city. That includes our fellow officers and their families. No one needs to live in fear that they may some day be hurt, or worse, by someone that they depend on to keep them alive. Wives and children, mothers, sisters, and fathers, even brothers, they should not have to fear that when their loved ones leave, they will not come home. Not because of the dangers we know that we face every day, but from those that are within the very organization that is meant to keep everyone from harm. It is a very sad thing, Rusty, but sometimes the most significant change that we can affect comes from within."

Andy looked up from the iPad that he was studying. He gazed at Rusty for a moment and then he shrugged. "When you do this long enough, you find that it gets harder instead of easier. The dirtbags get smarter, and if you're really unlucky, you find out that they're standing right beside you." He shrugged. "We do what we gotta do, and that's not always enough. So then we let the paper pushers tell us how to do it better."

Sharon's lips pursed. She lifted her eyes heavenward for a moment. "In a manner of speaking. I might have chosen a better description than paper pushers, but that is more or less the way that it works."

Rusty grinned at the face Andy made in response. He tugged his bottom lip between his teeth to keep from laughing. His side was hurting much too badly for that. "The police have a department inside that keeps you all from getting into too much trouble right? Something that didn't really work this time, so what if the problem is that someone needs to keep an eye on them? What if the police that police the police had to answer to someone else?" Rusty's nose wrinkled. "Did that make sense?"

"Nope." Andy frowned at him. It had, but it wasn't an idea that he wanted to entertain. It was bad enough that they had IA breathing down their necks half the time. He could just imagine what it would be like to have civilians who had no idea how they did their jobs sweeping in to poke their noses into things they could not begin to understand. It was enough to give him a headache and have his blood pressure rising.

"Actually it did," Sharon said. She shook her head and made a face at Andy's grumbling. "That is something that may be considered. I really do not know, Rusty." Her head inclined. "Perhaps that is an idea that you can explore on your own. You've proven to be very good at research. Maybe this is a story that you might want to tell for your VLOG. Carefully edited out of course, and within reason."

"Maybe." Rusty wasn't sure about that. It was a little too close to home. It was something to think about, however. "It really sucks that this happened, Sharon. That sergeant died, and what happened to us, and everything."

"It does," she agreed with a sad smile. "It really sucks, but Rusty, you and I are okay. We are both going to get better and we will put this behind us. I promise you that."

"I know." He smiled at her, and this time the expression was much gentler and more genuine. "I guess I'm just really tired of people trying to kill me," he lamented with a crooked grin."

"You know something Rusty," Sharon shrugged her good shoulder, "I am pretty tired of people trying to kill you too." She studied her son's image closely and shook her head. "Now I think that it's time that we bring this to an end. You do not look like you are feeling well, and I have to admit, I am beginning to hurt a little too." Her shoulder was throbbing, if she was truthful about it, but that was not something that she wanted Rusty or Andy worrying about. "Enjoy your dinner, Rusty, and get some rest. We will talk again tomorrow."

"Okay." Rusty had gotten used to being able to talk to Sharon whenever he wanted to. It never occurred to him that there would be a day when he couldn't. Even if she was working a case, she was available to him. Now they were separated, and only by a couple of floors, but it was an odd feeling to not have her readily accessible; this was not a matter of her being out in the field, or tied up in court. She was right there; he just couldn't go and see her. Maybe that would change the following day. Just taking a shower had exhausted Rusty, but he made a note to talk to Ricky and Gus when they came back about sneaking him down to the third floor to see his mom. "Tomorrow," he said and offered her a smile, small though it was. "Love you."

"I love you." Sharon pressed her fingers to the screen before she ended the call. She closed the case on the iPad and set it aside before tipping her head back and sighing. She pressed her eyes closed and concentrated on breathing through the pain. For the first time that day she was alone in her room. Her shoulder wasn't hurting so badly that she couldn't enjoy that, just for a few minutes. She loved them all, but didn't need them hovering, not over her. Sharon waited just long enough for the pain in her shoulder to begin shooting down her back before she pressed the call button for the nurse.

Rusty looked over at Andy as he closed the lid on his laptop. "You know that you really don't have to be the Rustysitter, right?" He picked up his burger, but he wasn't all that hungry anymore. He still wanted it, though, at least a couple of bites.

"I didn't exactly need a Flynnsitter every second of the day either," Andy replied, this time without looking up from the iPad in his hands, "and yet…" When he did finally glance at Rusty he pointed a finger at him. "You're not supposed to have that."

"And yet…" Rusty smirked at him and lifted the burger to his mouth for a bite. He ended up taking only a single bite because the smell made him queasy. Rusty put it aside and decided to concentrate on his fries instead. "The point that I was making was that you can go back down and sit with Sharon if you want to. You don't have to be here. Ricky and Gus will come back as soon as they figure out that you're gone."

"Yeah." Andy smirked at him. "But let's just make them sweat it out a little bit. Your mom will be okay for a few minutes. Emily will be back soon anyway." She had waited until after hatching Sharon's plan to gang up on him with Provenza to go to the condo for a nap and shower. "It's fine, Rusty."

"Fine." Rusty ate a few more fries before he leaned back in the bed. He pushed the table aside and got comfortable. He winced as he shifted. He would need his meds soon, but he didn't like the way that they made his head spin. He could wait a little while. "At least I don't snore."

"There was snoring." He didn't look up this time. Andy continued to focus on the eBook that he was reading. "Loud, obnoxious snoring. Remind me to talk to Sharon about sending you to an ENT. That cannot be healthy." Andy rolled his eyes toward Rusty. His brows arched. "I have worked with Provenza for more years than you have been alive. I can do this all night."

"Playing the age card really takes all the fun out of it." Rusty closed his eyes. He was silent for a few minutes. The only sound in the room was the quiet hiss and beep of the IV machine beside his bed. Rusty tapped his fingers against the mattress beneath him. After a moment, he opened his eyes again. "Hey, Andy."

"Yeah kid." He looked up again, this time wondering if he needed to get the nurse.

"She's really okay, right?" She had seemed pale and small, but otherwise their conversation was just like any other. Rusty looked at the man who had become such a big part of their lives over the last year. The one who always put his mother first, even when he was injured and they didn't know if he would be okay. He wanted an honest answer, and he knew that he would get one.

"I'm sitting here, aren't I?" Andy closed the case on his iPad and put it aside. "Rusty, she's okay. She's worried about you and she's hurt, but Sharon is doing just fine. If she weren't, I wouldn't be here. We wouldn't be indulging your brother's need to act like a screw-off just to let off some steam because he's been so worried about both of you. There's no way that I would have gotten Provenza or any of the others to go home and get some rest this evening. They would still be camping out in the waiting room on 3. She's okay," he repeated. "I promise."

Rusty nodded slowly. He supposed that was true. "Yeah. Thanks." He settled back again. "Can we get the nurse? I think it's time." His leg was throbbing worse than his side was and every time that he moved it just got worse.

"We can do that." Andy pulled himself out of the chair. "Hold tight. I'll let them know. Do you need to get up first?"

"God no," the thought of moving that much made Rusty want to curl into a ball, he only narrowly avoided shuddering in response. "I've moved enough for one day."

Andy laughed. "Yeah, I don't blame you. I've been there. Okay, hang on a minute. We'll get you fixed up with something for the pain." He walked over and hit the call button to summon the nurse.

It was not Rusty's room that Ricky returned to after picking up coffee with Gus, but his mother's. The two men had separated at the elevators. Gus had gone back to sit with Rusty and Ricky decided to check on his mother. He found her with her eyes closed and appearing to doze. Ricky eased into the room as quietly as he could and took a seat beside the bed. As he got comfortable he watched her eyes flutter open. "I didn't mean to wake you," he said.

"You didn't." The pain medicine was only beginning to take effect. Sharon had only closed her eyes for a moment as the first wave of weightless euphoria swept over her. It was not a sensation that she had ever enjoyed. "What's the matter, baby?" Ricky looked pensive.

"Nothing." He leaned over and laid his head on the bed next to her leg. "I'm just glad that you're okay." He paused for a moment before adding, "and Rusty too. He's kind of stubborn, but I think he's going to be okay." There was something heartbreaking about watching his brother feel so awkward about having family help him. Ricky's brows drew together in a frown. "Did I ever thank you?"

Sharon shook her head. She gave him a puzzled look. "For what?" She swept a lock of dark hair away from his brow. "Ricky, what is the matter?"

"Nothing is wrong," he assured her. "I was just thinking today, that's all. You were right. I was an asshole when Rusty first moved in, and even worse when you decided to adopt him. I don't think that I thanked you though." He shrugged at her. "It's not so bad having a brother."

Her eyes filled with tears and she gave him a watery smile. "No, having him around isn't so bad at all." Sharon continued to comb her fingers through her elder son's hair. "I honestly do not think that he minds you either. He looks up to you, you know. The idea of family is still new. He looks up to you and Emily to make sure that he is doing it right, even though there really is no wrong way."

"I know." That was something that he was still figuring out, but he had seen it. It was in the way that Rusty used to hang back and observe them. Now he participated, but there were still moments, though they were much fewer. Ricky lifted his head. He ran a hand over his face and sighed. "I think I kind of look up to him too." It still blew him away sometimes when he realized just how much Rusty had been through in so short a time. He didn't blame any of it for his shortcomings; he just tried to be better. "Gus isn't so bad either," he added quickly, but went on to say, "are we sure that he's not too old for Rusty?"

Sharon smiled and fought the urge to laugh. "Gus has been through a lot too. I don't want to speak out of turn, but they have similar histories. He is older," she agreed, "but in many ways Gus and Rusty are on the same level emotionally. He's a good boy, and they're friends too."

"I watched the VLOG," Ricky told her. "That was all pretty terrible. He seems really nice. I just… you know?"

"Yes. I know." He didn't want to see his little brother get hurt. Sharon didn't believe that would happen. Rusty and Gus were young, and there would be some hurts along the way, for both of them, but she thought that they had the potential to remain friends, even if a romance did not work out. "You know, you're not as bad at this as you thought that you would be." Sharon knew her son. He had approached the idea of having a younger sibling with a sense of apprehension that was unwarranted. He was used to having Emily to look up to. He never had to be responsible for a younger sibling before. "I think that you are doing very well at this big brother job."

"Emily always made it look so easy." Ricky propped his head in his hand. "It's really hard. It's not bad though. I kind of like having the little pain the butt around. Sometimes I just wish that we found him sooner. Before a lot of the bad stuff." Ricky shrugged again. "Before he had a reason to think that it was weird that someone would want to take care of him. I have held Emily's hair while she puked, and she has tied my shoes because my arm was broken and it wasn't weird. Rusty never had that. It was kind of sad."

"I know." She stroked a hand over his hair. "Some day it will not seem so odd to him, and yes. I do wish that we could have found him sooner. Things work out the way that they are meant to, Ricky. He came to us when he needed to. He's ours now."

"Yes." Ricky laid his head down again. He could tell that she was wilting fast. "Go to sleep. We can talk some more later," he said.

"Hm." She wasn't going to argue that fact. Sharon was finding it very hard to keep her eyes open. She let them drift closed again but laid a hand against his hair. "Tomorrow," she promised.

Andy found them like that a short while later. He left Rusty with Gus and returned to Sharon's room. Rather than disturb either of them, he settled himself in the chair near the window and propped his feet up on the narrow sofa. It wasn't long before Emily returned. She curled up with a book in the corner of the sofa and like the previous evening, the three of them occupied themselves by reading or napping while they kept a silent vigil over the woman that they all loved.

-TBC-