Killing Game
By Kadi
Rated T
Disclaimer: This is only a sandbox that I like to play in. Sadly, it is not mine.
Chapter 15
On the morning that Sergeant Matthew Elliot was laid to rest there was a bright sun shining overhead. The day was warm, and the breeze that blew in off the pacific filled the air with the familiar scent of sea and salt. It gave the morning a sense of cheer that was far removed from the purpose of those who gathered.
It had been a week since the shooting that had landed her in the hospital, and Sharon had been out of the hospital for only a day, but that had not stopped her from insisting upon joining the rest of her team at the memorial service. The effort that it had taken to dress for the occasion had left her exhausted and in pain, but she had joined the others in dress uniform. Her arm was still in a brace that both supported her shoulder and kept movement at a minimum by securing the injured limb to her torso; the brace stood out in stark contrast to her uniform, but she hadn't cared. There were not many people who were unaware of what had happened.
The shooting of an LAPD police captain and her son had made the circuit of several news outlets, as had the arrests of those responsible. That it was tied to the Sergeant's murder and those arrests had also been the subject of several news reports in the days leading up to the service. Sharon ignored the stares and the cameras. If she stood with her Lieutenant's hand at her back to help steady her, no one seemed to notice.
It was a long and trying day, filled with speeches and eulogies, one of which she had delivered herself. At the end of it, Sharon was more than happy to return home. It was just not her home that she returned to. With Emily and Ricky insisting on staying in Los Angeles until she and Rusty were out of the hospital and well on their way to recovery, the condo had been much too small for the four of them. When Sharon factored Andy into that equation too, and Gus, there was simply no way that her small home would contain all of them. It was not a thought that she had entertained until Andy had pointed it out to her.
Turn about was fair play, he told her, even as he deposited her at his small bungalow. The house wasn't very big, but it was larger than the condo. There were two bedrooms and a small den that Andy only used for storage. Gus helped him clean out the den, at least so much that they could set up an extra bed. By the time that Sharon was released from the hospital, they had, with additional help from Ricky and Emily, managed to get everything arranged at Andy's house. She protested the necessity, quite vehemently at first, but it was Emily that changed her mind. Her daughter agreed that she would be more comfortable in her own home, and started in on Andy to take her mother back to the condo. He was beginning to believe that the eldest Raydor child had turned coat on him until Emily started discussing getting a hotel room nearby. She would get the one room and then she and Ricky could trade off staying with her mother. It would be an indefinite stay, but she was certain that they could manage it. Sharon caved, and Andy realized that Emily had known that she would. There was no way that she would ever allow a child of hers to stay in a hotel when they could stay with her. It was quite masterfully done. Andy had tipped his hat to her, and then made a mental note to never get on Emily's bad side.
Sharon and Rusty were not released from the hospital at the same time. While Sharon hated leaving him at the hospital, it was a bit of a relief to Andy to be able to get her settled and through the ordeal of Sergeant Elliot's funeral before they had to get Rusty released and arranged at his house. Bringing Rusty home was something that they were expecting to happen within the next two days. He was recovering well, and the Doctor had not anticipated any issues with releasing him before the week's end. Gus and Ricky had stayed with Rusty while Emily had accompanied her mother home with the Lieutenant.
It was Emily that helped Andy get her mother settled, and it was Emily that had assisted him in getting her ready for the funeral. While she had stayed behind for the actual service, Emily was waiting for them when they returned. Sharon was exhausted, emotionally and physically. The act of getting her out of her dress uniform was much easier than it had been to get her into it. Emily left that to Andy while she prepared a light meal. Neither her mother nor the Lieutenant were hungry, but she knew that her mother would need the pain medication that was sent home with her. She would be able to tolerate it better if she ate something. Emily could remember from having her appendix removed when she was nineteen that Vicodin on an empty stomach was not a fun experience.
Once they had managed to get her out of her uniform and into something more comfortable, Sharon refused to go to bed. She had been in bed for days. She was tired of lying on her back. No amount of being tired or in pain was going to change her mind about that. She insisted on resting in the living room, and she insisted on Andy allowing her to walk there. He was hovering, and it was driving her crazy.
Because it was easier on her shoulder, Sharon was wearing a tank top with a pair of leggings. She had one arm tucked through a sleeve of one of Andy's dress shirts, the pale blue one that was her favorite, while the other side was draped over her injured shoulder. She batted Andy's hand away as she made her way down the hall to the living room. "I can walk," she told him, and not for the first time. "Stop hovering."
He only smirked at her. "Not a lot of fun, is it?" It had not taken him long to exchange his uniform for a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, but in the few minutes he spent changing, Sharon was already escaping the bedroom. She was one stubborn woman, and being shot had not changed that. He didn't think that anything could, and that was just one of the reasons that he loved her… even when it infuriated him.
The glare that she shot his direction would have frightened a lesser man. When he only flashed his cheekiest, most charming smile, Sharon bared her teeth at him. That only made him chuckle at her. She sniffed and lifted her chin in defiance. "You annoy me," she stated in a bland tone.
"I know. It's an art. I have spent years getting it perfect." He could ignore her bad mood. She was an intelligent, strong, and independent woman. She did not want to need his help, but that did not mean that she didn't need his help, or that she would not appreciate it when it was offered. This was something that he understood, only too well. They were only a few months removed from the injury that had landed him in the hospital and off duty for several weeks. As Sharon shuffled down the hall, he decided to let her. Andy followed quietly and when she seemed to sway only a few steps later, he moved closer and wrapped an arm around her middle.
Sharon sighed as she leaned in to him. She had over done it just a bit. The room was starting to spin around her. She laid her head against his shoulder and when he walked her to the couch instead of carrying her there, she smiled. She knew that he understood, but it was still making her crazy, this having to rely upon him and her children. She did not like that she was hurt, and she did not like that they needed to take care of her, and she truly, truly did not like the fact that she would not be able to help care for Rusty when he was released from the hospital. When they reached the sofa, Sharon turned in his embrace and pressed her face into his neck. The fingers of her free hand curled into his shirt and she drew a slow breath. There was more pain to be had than the throbbing of her shoulder. She felt a little selfish suddenly. They had just watched a man that she had worked with for several years, a man that she had trained and mentored, be placed in a grave. They watched his wife and children mourn. Yet here she was, thinking of herself, and how terrible her life was at present. Sharon shook her head as she stood there. Andy held her so carefully, as if he was afraid to hurt her, but when she felt his lips touch the spot just below her ear, she knew that it was only her shoulder that he was being careful of. Sharon lifted her head and gazed up at him. "I love you even when you annoy me," she said.
"That's good to know." His hand moved into her hair to massage the back of her head. The ends of her hair were curling from the bun that Emily had twisted it into for the funeral. He knew that she hated wearing it up, but she did it when it was required. "I love you even when you drive me crazy," he responded. There was a sadness in her eyes that he knew only time would be able to remove, but her lips curved into a smile that had him ducking his head to press a kiss to her mouth. He laid his hands on her hips and turned her toward the sofa. "Let's get you situated," he said quietly.
"Hm." Sharon nodded and let him maneuver her onto the sofa. It was a thick, soft structure, upholstered in brown suede. She practically sank into the plush cushions and almost purred as the soft material surrounded her. She sighed, and the sound was one of relief, when Andy lifted her legs onto the sofa and tucked a blanket over her. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes for a moment. Andy left the room, but when he returned he had her pain pills and a bottle of water. Sharon accepted both of them with a grateful smile and as she took the medicine, she drew her legs up and made room for him on the sofa. "Emily can handle lunch," she told him. Her children were insisting on staying, and they were insisting on helping, so there was no reason for him to do everything. The day had been just as long and tiring for him as it had been for her.
Andy sighed at the pointed look that she shot at him. He shook his head, but there was a grin playing at the corners of his mouth. "Yes ma'am," he teased. He sat down and drew her legs over his lap. He rubbed her calves while she got comfortable and propped his bare feet up on the coffee table in front of them. He turned on the television, but kept the volume pitched low. Andy flipped through channels looking for something that would be mindless enough entertainment that they could have it on as background noise without having to truly concentrate on it. Fox Southwest was playing a few spring training games, but he preferred to wait until the baseball season started. The training games were hardly competitive, and were just all about the minor league guys trying to make the cut for the new season. Andy passed them over and kept changing channels until he found an old Hepburn and Tracey movie. He settled on that, but when he glanced over at Sharon, he found her dozing.
The sound of the doorbell drew all of their attention. Emily stepped out of the kitchen and waved him off. "I'll get it. Don't move her."
"That's gotta be Rick," Andy told her. "I've told him that he doesn't have to use the bell…" It seemed ridiculous since they were going to be staying there. Emily was in the small guest room and Ricky would be camping out in the den. They had gotten the second guest room, the bigger of the two, ready for Rusty. None of the rooms were especially large, though. The house had been built in the forties, and although it had been modernized, it was small. It was just enough room for him, despite the extra rooms, because living in an apartment had never appealed to him. He supposed that he might need something bigger at some point, now that certain things in his life were changing, but that was a decision and conversation for a later time.
"You're going to have to give us a few days on that one," Emily said. Even she had felt a little uncomfortable at just walking into the house earlier. It was a nice, quaint little place but it definitely needed a woman's touch as far as the decorating was concerned. He had gone with dark earth tones, and mostly neutral colors. She applauded him for the dark, cherry wood furniture and matching couches and chairs, but without a splash of color here and there it all just looked depressing. As she opened the door, Emily was smiling. She wondered what her mother's Lieutenant boyfriend would do if a bright throw pillow ended up being tossed here or there by the end of their stay. She was also thinking about his floors. The old hardwood was lovely, but he could do with a nice area rug.
It was not her brother that Emily found standing on the other side of the door. She led the man into the living room. "Andy," she called his name quietly in deference to her napping mother.
Andy's head turned. The grin that he wore as he prepared to tease Ricky, again, about just walking into the house, froze on his face. "Chief." That was definitely not who he was expecting to have visit.
Taylor held up a hand when the Lieutenant started to move. "Don't get up," he said.
He gave Sharon's leg a gentle shake. She sighed, but did not immediately open her eyes. "I hear him," she stated. This was not how she wanted to spend the remainder of this day. Sharon's eyes fluttered open and she straightened on the sofa. She looked up at the man and tilted her head. "What can we do for you, Chief?" In the back of her mind she wondered if he had come to deliver the final blow, the news that they were going to insist on retiring her.
He sat down when Andy waved him toward a chair. Russell Taylor had not bothered to go home yet, and still wore the uniform that he had donned that morning for the memorial service. "Captain, Andy." He paused for a moment. "Sharon." He leaned forward in the seat and rested his arms on his knees. "How are you feeling?" He had spoken to her at the service, but only briefly. It was just long enough for him to ask about Rusty, but there had not been time for more than that.
"I have been better." Her brows arched in askance. She would prefer if he got the niceties out of the way. Andy shifted impatiently beside her and she knew that she was not alone in that. She laid her hand on his arm and gave his wrist a gentle squeeze to calm him. "I am sure that this is not a social visit, Chief. You will have to forgive me, but I am rather tired, so perhaps we can get to the purpose of it?"
Taylor nodded. "No need to apologize. I understand. You're right; I don't want to keep you long. I'm going to get right to it." He glanced at the Lieutenant before turning his attention back to the Captain. Even now, months after they had first informed him about this relationship, he found it odd. He never imagined that they would fit together as well as they had. Taylor pushed that thought aside as he returned the Captain's gaze. "Sharon, as you know, we've had a mess on our hands with the cleanup following this case. It's not over yet, and it probably won't be for a couple of months. The Mayor is concerned about how this looks for the Department, and how that looks for the city. There has been a certain amount of pressure placed on us to make sure that this sort of incident never happens again. We can't guarantee that," Taylor said, and spread his hands wide in an almost helpless gesture, "but there are some steps that we can take to make certain individuals feel better about it."
Andy's eyes narrowed. He wasn't sure if he liked where this seemed to be heading. "Like?"
"Commander Michaelson is going to retire," Taylor told them. "Staples was able to carry out his little operation right under the Commander's nose, so there is some culpability there. Nothing legal or ethical, but Michaelson has accepted responsibility. We have also asked the head of the Criminal Investigation Division to resign. A full audit is being conducted of the Professional Standards Bureau, but we're looking at the officers rather than their specific cases. All of that is preliminary. It doesn't really solve the problem, and it leaves us with a couple of holes that have to be filled." He glanced at Flynn again when the other man sighed, but then turned his unwavering gaze on the Captain. "I have spent the last several days in meetings with Chief Pope and the Mayor. We need someone who understands how that division is supposed to work to take control and clean it up. We need regulations in place that will help prevent this kind of internal catastrophe in the future. We want you to do it. Sharon, no one knows Internal Affairs like you do."
She hissed a breath. She looked away from him. "When you needed to put a good face on Major Crimes and repair the division's damaged reputation, you dangled it like a carrot. Now you need me to fix another mess," she drawled, "and what? Another lateral transfer? Is the privilege of returning to the dragon's lair supposed to be the promotion? Is this my reward? Chief, with all due respect, what makes you think that I would ever want to return to that? To the insults and the disrespect, to the animosity and the name-calling. Why would I jeopardize what I have spent the last several years building to move backward instead of forward?"
Andy's lips pursed. "I probably should have mentioned that she's had her pain medication." Sharon was speaking more candidly to the Chief than he had ever heard her do before. She was usually far more professionally correct and towed the line between what was respectful and what was necessary to point out when he was being an idiot.
Sharon snorted quietly. "No, honey, this is all me." She rubbed his arm again. "It hasn't quite kicked in yet." It would, soon enough. It was probably the pain and her lack of patience for everything that had happened that was pushing her to speak so openly to her boss, or perhaps it was a combination of everything else. It had been, as she had thought earlier, a long and trying day. She was in no mood to play at Departmental politics. "I do not believe that they are unfair questions. I am very happy with my current position. I think you know this." She and Andy had discussed her more recent job offer at length. She had given it up for a number of reasons, many of them personal, but at the heart of it she had done it because she was perfectly content with her place in the LAPD.
"Yeah." Andy shrugged at her. "I don't exactly want you walking back into that hell hole either, but I get why they're asking." He slanted a look at Taylor. "That's if they are asking."
He shook his head. "I don't have any ultimatums. The Captain can turn us down if that's what she wants. But you should know," he said to Sharon, "this isn't a lateral transfer. You would get the promotion. We want you to take over the division. The entire division. You would replace Commander Michaelson." He gestured helplessly again, "Like you were supposed to do before we tapped you to clean up Major Crimes."
"Okay, wait a minute." Andy held up a hand. "Can I just object to the idea that anything had to be cleaned up in Major Crimes?" When they both flashed bland expressions at him, Andy looked away. "Fine, whatever," he muttered.
Sharon rubbed her lips together while she thought about it. "For the sake of conversation, not that I am in any way agreeing to this insanity, but if I were to take you up on this offer… What happens to my Division?" She arched a brow at the Chief. "What is going to become of Major Crimes?"
"We promote from within," Taylor said. "If none of the three eligible Lieutenants want it, then we pull someone else over to run the division. Major Crimes remains as it has. We're not planning on making any other changes."
"The two eligible Lieutenants." Andy corrected them with a shake of his head. "Don't look at me. I don't want it. We spend enough time together as it is," he told Taylor.
"Believe me," the Chief replied, "you were the last one on that list." He rolled his eyes and focused on the Captain again. "Initially, you would be buried in audits and paperwork. I'm not going to lie. It wouldn't be an easy transition. The thing is, Sharon, we need someone that we know is going to do the right thing; someone that we can depend on to keep all of us safe. We need someone that we can trust."
She winced as he said that. Taylor knew which cards to play. Sharon rubbed a hand across her forehead. "When do you need an answer?" She would think about it. She could not immediately provide an answer for him. It wasn't the sort of decision that could, or should, be made without careful consideration. She also intended to discuss it with Andy. He would be affected by whatever choice that she made, professionally as well as personally.
"I can give you a week," Taylor told her. "We can keep Michaelson in place until you are released to come back. He is aware that it could be a while. Give it some thought, Sharon. Talk it over," he waved a hand in Andy's direction, "as you need to. I really hope that you will agree with us."
"I will have an answer for you by the end of the week," Sharon told him. It was all that she could offer him at the moment. "Now if you will excuse me, Chief. My pain medication is beginning to take effect. I am incredibly tired." She turned to the man beside her. "Andy, can you…"
He started to get up, but Taylor waved him off again. "I can find my way out." He stood up. "Whatever you decide, Sharon, we are looking forward to having you back. Give Rusty my best."
"I will, Chief. Thank you." Sharon slid her hand down Andy's arm in a simple caress and smiled when her daughter appeared to walk the Chief out. Her lips pursed. He was watching her with an almost imperceptible look in his eyes. "Yes?" She asked, and drew the syllable out carefully.
Andy repositioned her legs on his lap when she got comfortable again. His hand wrapped around her ankle. "It's not a bad idea," he said, although he would never have admitted that in front of Taylor. "Better the devil I know if they're reorganizing IA."
Sharon made a face at him. She poked his side. "Very funny, Lieutenant." She leaned back and closed her eyes. "I don't know Andy. I spent my entire career doing that job. I really do not know if I want to go back to it. I like what I am doing now." Her eyes opened again and she stared up at the ceiling. "I can finally walk into a room without people immediately going on the defensive," she admitted in a quiet voice.
"Did that ever really bother you before?" Andy tilted his head at her. He laid his hand on her knee while the other continued to gently rub her ankle and calf. "People know you now, even if they don't, it doesn't really matter. What was it that you said about IA last week? It takes a very specific kind of person to be able to do it. If there are any bad seeds left, you'd be able to find them. The most important thing that you have to know is, if anyone is going to be adding more bullshit regulations to the rulebook, I would rather it be you."
"Hm." Sharon shook her head slowly. "I am really not sure, Andy. Are you honestly suggesting that you would be okay if I transferred back to Professional Standards? Do you have any idea what that would mean?" She offered him a small smile. "You would be in bed with the queen of the rat squad. People would look at you differently, they would think of you differently, and believe me, they would treat you differently."
"I don't want you going anywhere," Andy said. "You might as well be flying all over hell and creation with the NFL for how much we'll probably get to see each other, especially during the transition. This isn't about what I want, Sharon, but if you're asking, my answer is the same as it was a couple of months ago. I want you to be happy. I want you to do what you feel is best, and not just for us, but for yourself. If that means that I have to put up with Provenza moving into your office, then so be it. It's not going to change anything between us, if that's what you're worried about. It's a job. I might not always like it, and I might not always agree with it, but I get it. One thing that Taylor was right about, it's got to be someone that all of us trust. No matter what else anyone ever said about you, they could never say that you weren't doing it all by the book." He moved his hand to tip her chin up when she looked down. "Take it or don't, I'm still going to be right here.
Her hand circled his wrist. Sharon drew a breath and let it out slowly. "I will think about it," she said. "Whatever I choose, Andy, it will not change this for me either. I will still love you, and I will still want you right here beside me."
"Get some rest," he told her. "We can talk about it later." She was beginning to slur just a bit and he could tell that she was struggling to keep her eyes open. "We can hash it all out."
She smiled as she closed her eyes. Sharon was already weighing the pros and cons between her two choices. She wished that her decision was a simple one, that she could just give the Chief an answer and be done with it. That was not the case. Whatever decision she made would be a difficult one. There were a lot of moving parts to take in to consideration. Sharon had given up on the idea of ever being promoted beyond Captain, but that would not be why she accepted the transfer. She just had to determine whether or not her desire to remain in Major Crimes was stronger than her belief in how the system should work. Was it stronger than her need to try and somehow create something out of the tragedy that they had faced?
She didn't know the answers to those questions. More than that, in the future that she was trying to create with Andy, she had to ask herself, was there enough space in it to take a step back? There were more questions on her mind than answers as she dozed off. The only thing that she really knew for certain was that it was going to feel like an incredibly short week.
-TBC-